Randy the Sunshine Happy Decepticon Chapter 11: Meow?, a transformers/beast wars fanfic

I don't own Transformers, but I wish I owned Soundwave. Randy however, is my happy pick-up truck Decepticon.

"Roll em'!"

About one week later…..

Randy smiled happily as he walked down the wide corridor.

He was brimming with inner joy and peace for the world.

He waved at random cockroaches that clinged to the walls and skittered away with the faintest presence of light.

He grinned with pleasure at the rats that miraculously tunneled into solid metal and taken up residence within the base.

He rounded the corner with bounce in his step, glad to be living for another happy day.

He paused.

Earsplitting laughter leaked out of the door to the left.

Randy was curious indeed, the D-cons were usually sulking, sobbing hysterically, or contemplating suicide.

Most often, it was all three.

Nether less, Randy was curious about the drugs they have most likely obtained and why they never bothered to share.

Randy opened the door and peeked in quietly.

Starscream, Thundercraker, Skywarp, and Soundwave were all seated on a couch with a large bowl of popcorn.

They were watching the large monitor in the communications room.

It just happened to be the human evening news.

A sharply dressed smiling woman and man sat at a large desk.

The woman stared out at them.

'Just in, a large basket of golden retriever puppies seconds away from being adopted explode for no apparent reason'

Footage was played, showing a perfectly normal basket of pudgy puppies swarming over each other. All of a sudden, the basket exploded violently in all directions.

The whole explosion took a mere 10 seconds.

'That's right Margaret. Those within the first 8 feet of the puppies were soaked in gore. The internal organs and brain stems were hurled up to 50 feet high before landing on a small girl in the crowd.

'Scientists are still baffled about how a basket of puppies could possibly explode without any matches or explosives.'

'Isn't that a shame Margaret?'

"Oh yes George, I wonder how many years of therapy that girl will need after all this.'

The two anchormen /woman laughed and smiled.

'In other news, a bus load of children…'

The Decepticons burst into hysterical laugher, spilling popcorn all over the clean floors.

Randy barged in and gasped loudly.

"THAT'S TERRIBLE!" He shouted. "Those poor puppies!"

Thundercraker laughed harder.

"I'd pay to see that in person!" He giggled.

Skywarp stuffed popcorn in his mouth at high speeds, but everyone was too busy laughing to notice that he was chocking.

Starscream sipped from a large cherry slushie.

Randy frowned.

"Don't you guys have anything productive to do?" he demanded.

Skywarp was rapidly turning blue as he pointed desperately to his throat.

Soundwave grabbed the remote.

Starscream growled like a savage jungle cat and hurled himself at Soundwave, knocking Thundercraker to the ground.

Skywarp waved his arms wildly as he choked.

"GRRARGH!" Thundercraker shrieked and threw a punch at Starscream.

Randy shook his head and sighed.

Thundercraker missed Starscream, but the punch connected hard to Skywarp's back, dislodging the popcorn and saving his life.

A full blown fight broke out as Skywarp grabbed a chair and bashed it over Soundwave's head as Starscream beat Thundercraker silly with a discarded crowbar.

Randy sighed and left the room.

"Bunch of bloody lunatics." He murmured and went to see what Shockwave was doing.

D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D

Shockwave moved with glee as he mixed random chemicals into a mixing bowl.

He was wearing a pair of headphones as he threw whatever he could reach into the large bowl.

" I dreamt of a wizard, with a hot guitar. The loveliest magic man, now he's a star!" He sang loudly.

He grabbed a few bottles with skulls carefully labeled on the front, warning to others that the product was used to melt doorways in solid metal.

Shockwave dumped the whole bottle in the bowl as he danced around to his music.

"I've got 3D stereophonic vision laser love. You're on my TV. I've been stuck in space for such a long time!"

A bottle exploded, but he didn't hear or care.

"Sorry mum, I'm 5 years late for teatime. Hydroplaning towards infinity. Just some drag queens and me!"

He dumped the bowl of random chemicals and added it to a large, evil looking machine sitting in the corner.

Blip!

The batteries in his walkman went dead.

"GRARGH!" He shouted angrily and kicked the wall.

"HIYA!" Randy screeched suddenly.

He had stood for the past thirty minute right behind Shockwave without making a sound.

It scared the hell out of Shockwave.

"PRIMUS!" Shockwave shouted and knocked a sickly glowing green bottle into the machine vat, causing the machine to instantly overload.

"Shit shit!" He gasped and ran wildly in a circle, unaware of what to do.

Randy, being bored, ran right behind him, following as he waved his arms above his head.

The machine gurgled as the monitor beside it began to spark and malfunction.

The computer sobbed and booted itself the hell out of there, a smart move for its part.

"Not good, not good." Shockwave moaned.

Randy walked in front of him and held out a slightly stale bakery item.

"Muffin?" he asked sweetly.

KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!

The machine exploded flinging metal everywhere.

Shockwave ducked under a random table and shivered as chemical bottles exploded.

Randy, having been hit in the head with a knob off of the machine, got enough sense to hide under the table with Shockwave.

The machine gave a final lurch before fizzling out in sparks.

Shockwave peeked his head above the table.

It seemed that blue gas was leaking from the machine and dispersing in the air.

Shockwave gasped and ran over to the machine's remains.

"OH NOES!" He screamed as the gas grew thicker.

"I KNOW WHAT TO DO!" Randy shouted and slammed his fist unto the first button he saw.

The air vents above opened up and sucked all the gas from the room into the air system above.

Randy did a victory dance to a song he heard on the radio that morning.

"YOU IDIOT!" Shockwave shrieked. "YOU JUST OPENED THE AIR VENTS!"

"So?" Randy giggled.

"YOU JUST INFECTED THE ENTIRE BASE!" Shockwave screamed.

Randy blinked.

"Hey," he stated. "Why are you all fuzzy?"

Shockwave looked confused before glancing at his hand.

"PRIMUS!" He screamed.

He was furry.

Fur was growing all over his arm and spreading rapidly.

He shook his arm in the attempt to shake it off.

It didn't work.

"Yay! I have cute little ears!" Randy grinned.

It was true, he had cute little kitty ears on his head.

Shockwave gasped and ran screaming out of the room.

Randy glanced around and decided that he liked having kitty ears.

He headed to the kitchen for a sandwich.

D.D.D.D.D.D.D

About a few hours later….

Megatron was angry.

He was angry enough to take on a Blorganian Bloodbeast from Liftotron 6.

He drummed his paws angrily on the table in front of him.

"What. The. Hell. HAPPENED!" He shrieked.

The Decepticon army was seated on swivel chairs around the table.

They are were, well, cats.

Cute ones to be precise.

They all kept their original colors, but were different species of the Felis catus, or a house cat.

Thundercraker, who was now a Russian Blue, raised a paw.

"Um," he simpered. "I think aliens did it." He spoke, scratching his chin.

Megatron, who was a Siamese, narrowed his eyes.

"You think aliens did this?" he asked coldly.

Thundercracker nodded happily.

Megatron sighed.

Starscream stood up, who was now an American Shorthair, and sipped from a cup of Ener-booze.

"I blame the media" he stated and sat down.

Skywarp licked himself happily, now that he was a Maine Coon.

Shockwave shivered violently, unable to grasp that he was now a Balinese.

Soundwave, now an Abyssinian, was working on a rap to the 'meow mix' song.

Randy , a giddy Turkish Angora with a big grin on his face, raised a paw.

"Yes?" Megatron spat.

"I think we got quite lucky in the end." Randy smiled.

"And why is that?" Megatron demanded.

"Well," Randy purred. "We could have turned into something more weird looking."

"Yeah," Soundwave stated. "We could have turned into Platypuses yo'."

"DON'T MENTION THOSE! IT'S FORBIDDEN!" Megatron screeched.

Randy looked confused.

"Megatron had a bad experience with a platypus back in 84'." Starscream explained.

Randy nodded.

Astrotrain, now a Persian, raised a paw.

"I say we buy a keg of Ener-booze and drink until we forget about our situation." He explained.

"Hopefully, once we sober up from being plastered, well be cured."

The D-cons nodded their heads in agreement.

Megatron wrote that down on a pad of paper.

"Anymore suggestions?" he barked.

"Let's do nothing." Longhaul the Cornish Rex suggested.

"Let's buy 12 cases of catnip and a box of those squeaky mice." Cyclonus the Scottish Fold shouted.

"I'm goanna look for a cure!" Randy giggled.

Megatron wrote all those down.

"Okay, if you're up for one of the suggestions, say 'aye' when I announce it." Megatron explained.

However, everyone voted for everything.

Megatron sighed.

"Okay, just…do whatever you want. Whoever finds a cure will get um….."

Megatron scratched behind his ear.

"A rubber chicken." he finished.

The D-cons cheered madly and rushed out of the room with high speeds.

Megatron sighed and put his face in his paws.

"I want to die so badly…." he murmured.

No one remained to listen.

D.D.D.D.D.D.D

'Crikey that's a big ol' croc!'

SNARL!

'Careful there! He's a naughty croc!'

GROWL!

'Now I'm going to get in there and try to wrestle out that bone sticking in his throat.'

CHOMP!

'Crikey he bit off me arm!'

RARGH!

RRRIIIPPPPPPP!

'Look at him go! Isn't he gorgeous?"

About half the D-con army was watching TV.

They have simply decided to do nothing in the attempt that the problem will go away after being ignored for long enough.

However, most were distracted by mice around the base.

"Yo' I like chicken and I like liver, Meow mix Meow mix please deliver fool!" Soundwave rapped.

"MOUSIE!" Thundercracker screeched as he pounced on a squeaky rubber mouse.

Everyone else simply got drunk.

Randy padded by with a large box in his fuzzy arms.

Hook the Manx, in a drunken stupor, watch with mild interest.

Randy disappeared into the room and left again.

Hook stared intently at the floor, which rapidly changed colors.

Randy returned with another large box and disappeared into the room again.

Hook quietly passed out.

Cursing and banging noises drifted out of the room, invoking the interest of a few cockroaches.

The roaches' infact gained a consciousness and intelligence after mutating from Megatron's horrid cooking.

The then grew board and scuttled away to their city hidden cleverly under the flooring.

A muffled bang blew the door off its hinges and a soot covered Kitty-Randy collapsed on the floor.

"Now that wasn't….really smart." He wheezed.

He rand back into the room and simply ducked taped the door shut.

The Decepticons happily drank themselves to unconsciousness as Randy toiled through the night.

No one noticed the glow from under the floors as the cockroaches threw a large-scale wild party.

D.D.D.D.D.D.D

Megatron woke up the next morning.

He had a very bad, splitting headache.

He happened to glance down.

His blood froze cold.

He was on a pillow, a fluffy red one to be exact.

He looked down.

What were metal hands before were now soft fuzzy kitty paws.

"OH MY GOD!" Megatron screamed as he grabbed his ears.

"I'M CUTE AND FLUFFY!" He sobbed.

Bombshell looked over to Cyclonus.

"It usually takes a day for reality to sink in." Bombshell explained.

"Oh." Cyclonus replied.

"NOOOOO! I WANT TO STRIKE FEAR INTO THE HEARTS OF CHILDREN!" Megatron sobbed.

"I DON'T WANNA BE A KITTEH!"

Cyclonus and Bombshell ran away as fast as their four legs could carry them.

Starscream walked over and stared.

"Um…..Randy says he found a cure." He announced.

He stood their while Megatron lay sobbing on the floor.

Starscream pondered for a brief moment before kicking Megatron in the side.

"OUCH!" Megatron screeched and stood up angrily.

"Randy found a cure." Starscream explained.

Megatron growled and marched off in a huff with Starscream beside him.

"Sandwich?" Starscream offered.

Megatron stared at it.

"You didn't poison it, did you?" He asked suspiciously.

"Nope." Starscream replied.

It was a few awkward minutes of silence before reaching the meeting room.

A blue blur raced out and hugged Megatron as hard as it could.

"Meggy-chan is so fluffy and cute!" Randy squealed.

Megatron shook him off, furious.

"So you have a cure?" he demanded.

"Yup!" Randy replied proudly.

He led them both to where the others were seated.

A large, rainbow colored machine stood on the side.

Patches of duck-tape was holding it together.

It didn't look quite safe at all.

Randy dragged Megatron to a bull's eye on the floor and placed him in the middle.

Megatron of course, protested being moved around like this.

Randy handed him some cat nip to silence him.

Megatron sniffed it, unaware of what it is.

His eyes dilated as he started to foam at the mouth.

"Weee! The color green sounds like a girl!" Megatron giggled after smelling the cat-nip.

"Cross your paws!" Randy shouted as he aimed the laser beam at their fuzzy leader.