Sorry for the lack of updates. I had to pass my classes or go to summer school. PLEASE DON'T LYNCH ME! Also, RTSHD will be going on a short Hiatus because I will not have computer access for a while.

"Roll em!"

"EEEEEEEEEEE!" Randy squealed.

It was Valentines Day, of course.

He ran down the hall with an arm full of paper hearts and pink streamers.

If only he hadn't overslept!

He weaved around random robots before crashing into a wall and knocking himself out.

"Horray! He's dead!" Megatron screeched, who was standing next to the wall.

He did a little victory dance, wiggling his hips to some unheard of song from the 50's.

Not looking where he was going, Megatron accidentally crashed into Starscream, who was staring intently on a piece of lint moving on it's own up the opposite wall.

They fell and ended up in a heap on the floor, with Megatron on top of Starscream.

They both blushed madly, untangled themselves, and ran with great speed to the nearest door.

Starscream, forgetting that the boiler room door was locked, crashed into it and knocked himself out.

It was silent for a few minutes.

Ravage, who was heading to the kitchen for some kibble, calmly stepped over the two bodies and continued on his way.

Dirge and Bombshell stopped, pulled out some markers, and drew on Randy and Starscream's faces before running off, giggling like crazy.

"HACKORZ!" Randy sat up, still clutching the paper hearts.

Starscream also woke up, ran to the same door, and knocked himself out….again.

"Hey computer,"Randy asked as he calmly dusted himself off.

"Can you access the main security tapes and show me what the hell just happened?"

The computer took a while to boot up, following with a sad electronic sigh.

"Why should I care?" It droned. "No one loves me anyway…"

It broke out into sobbing as Randy waited patiently for it to stop.

It sniffed as it continued.

"Okay, I'll bring them up..." it sighed.

With a blip, the screen was replaced with the video feeds from the last half hour.

It showed Randy running into the wall, Megatron falling on Starscream, them blushing….

"HEY!" Randy slammed his fist down on 'pause'.

He snickered at the two.

"Ow…" the computer muttered.

"I have an idea…." Randy mused.

The tape continued playing, showing Dirge and Bombshell's little prank.

Randy gasped.

He looked in a nearby mirror to find 'LOL I'M TEH STUPID!1!' written on his forehead in washable black marker.

"Those bastards!" he growled.

The computer quietly imploded.

D.D.D.D.D.D

The meeting room was in utter chaos.

The entire army was there, except for Megatron and Starscream.

Thrust was sobbing quietly to himself in the corner of the room.

Weird wolf was busily spreading glue on the walls.

"Shut up and sit down!" Randy demanded.

No one really paid attention. They were all too busy watching Wildrider stick a quarter up his nose and pull it out his ear.

Needless to say, they laughed really hard when Wildrider got the quarter stuck in his brain and went into seizures for a good five minutes.

Randy, after a good three minutes of shouting, had to resort to handing out cookies.

After the populous was seated, Randy pulled down a screen from a ceiling.

"Oh goody! A movie!" Skywarp shouted as the lights dimmed.

"You are wrong." Randy spoke. "So very wrong."

An image projector switched to life, displaying an image of Starscream on the screen.

"Do any of you chums know why you're here?" Randy asked as pulled out a laser pointer.

Skywarp stood up.

"Because um… uh….." he fumbled for words. "We're going to um…take over the world?"

"Nope." Randy sighed.

He used the laser pointer to point at Starscream's face.

"This is Starscream," he spoke. "He's in love with this guy."

A picture of Megatron flashed on the screen besides Starscream's picture.

Randy drew a large heart over the two faces with a red marker.

"OH." The room said at once.

"You see, we all KNOW how much they want each other." Randy spoke.

"I don't." Thundercraker stated.

"That's because you suck, and everyone hates you." Ramjet spat.

"YO' MOMMA!" Thundercraker shot back.

"Now, now, don't make me get the hose." Randy spoke.

He gestured to the screen.

"Besides, there are more important things to worry about."

"Like, why can't we just drop a big ass bomb on the Autobots instead of making up elaborate plans that fail half the time?" Shrapnel asked.

"SHUT UP!" the audience shouted.

"Ok."

A saddened Shrapnel sat down again and sobbed loudly.

Randy grabbed another marker and started drawing up the plans.

D.D.D.D.D.D

"Say, do we have any of that garlic bread?" Starscream asked.

"I don't know, I haven't seen any garlic bread." Brawl said.

"Well I could use some garlic bread right now." Starscream mused.

The two walked together to the kitchen, the automatic door opening with a hiss.

Starscream began poking around.

"Are you sure we don't have any garlic bread?" he shouted.

"I DON'T KNOW DAMNIT!" Brawl yelled.

Starscream opened a cupboard to be buried by a wave of roses.

"MRRRH!"

Red roses poured out of the cupboard and covered Starscream in a seemingly endless torrent of flowers.

Brawl just stood there and watched.

Starscream dug himself out, spilling out petals and cursing loudly.

"ALL I WANTED WAS SOME GOD DAMN GARLIC BREAD! ARRGH ARRGH!" He growled.

A single sheet of paper drifted out of the cupboard and landed at his feet.

"What the?"

He picked up the paper with little hearts and rainbows drawn on it.

"Roses are red

Violets are blue

When I destroy life

I think of you"

"I, I don't understand…" Starscream wondered.

Brawl stood there and calmly walked out of the room.

"WHERE'S THE GARLIC BREAD!" Starscream shouted.

A single loaf fell out of the cupboard and hit him in the face, causing him to fall on the roses again.

"DAMNIT!"

D.D.D.D.D.D

Megatron was in a sour mood.

So far, the day has gone well, a little too well.

He screamed at anyone who passed him about how much he loathed them.

He finally reached his room, kicked down the door, and hurled a wastepaper can at the walls.

Feeling slightly better, he decided to take a short nap.

However, he noticed that a box of chocolate and a single rose was resting on his pillow. A note lay beside it.

Curious, he opened the chocolates as he picked up the note.

"Blood is read,

Corpses are blue,

Giant guns are badass,

And so are you"

He rubbed his optics and re-read the note again. He allowed the note to sink in for a moment or too.

He blinked and tasted a chocolate. It just happened to be energon flavored, his favorite. He chewed with glee, and before he knew it, he finished off the entire box.

He ate the last one before flipping over the box to read how many calories there were. He noticed a slight pressure in his throat and a mild itching on his neck. He scratched the itchy spot as he scanned the list of ingredients.

Chocolate, Energon, Peanuts…

He gasped when he came across peanuts.

"OH NOES!" he screamed.

Just then, he broke out in a massive amount of hives.

He choked as his windpipe began to rapidly close. He gasped and struggled, tripping on a bed sheet lying on the ground.

BAM!

He smashed through his door and out into the hallway, clutching his metal throat. He twitched once before ceasing to move.

Skywarp happily bounced down the hallways while listening to music on his CD player.

"We don't need no Education! We don't need no THOUGHT CONTROL!" He screeched. He tripped violent across Megatron's still form, dropped his CD player, and smashed into the opposite wall, causing the computer stationed there to have a panic attack.

The computer rapidly belted out the national anthem of Scotland before retreating to the cold vast world of cyberspace. It left a digital note stating that it was in fact going fishing.

Anyway….

Skywarp cursed up a storm as he looked for the cause of him tripping. When he saw Megatron, covered in hives and lying motionless on the ground, he did the only thing that he was programmed to do in a situation like this.

He found a sharp stick conveniently placed on the ground and began to poke Megatron with the sharp pointy end.

Getting no response, he poked harder. Finally, he grew bored and gave Megatron a swift kick in the belly.

Megtron gagged and pulled himself to his feet.

Skywarp stared. "Did you get attacked by bees or something? Your head looks a lot more swollen that it usually is."

"Shut up!" Megatron wheezed. His allergy to peanuts wasn't as severe as some peoples were, but it still was pretty bad.

"No seriously, your head looks really big. I bet you can cause a solar eclipse. HEY! I went to the store and found a bug. His name was Jimbo and we went skiing in China. WOOO! And then he had to go to this doctor 'cause he itched really bad in his-"

"SHUT UP!"


"Okay okay……. Then we went surfing and this shark asked us how to get to Hawaii but we didn't know so the shark ate Jimbo and somehow contracted an STD in the process and then I-"

BOOOOOMMMMM!

Megatron lowered his smoking gun.

Skywarp lied a few feet away in a giant crater, smoking slightly from where Megatron blasted him.

A moment.

"AND THEN we went to the mall and hung out with these chicks ya know. They were like, 'DUDE' and I was like, 'OH NOES' and we all laughed and stuff and then-"

No one could hear Megatron's agonizing screams.

D.D.D.D.D.D

Meanwhile, in the dugout of Operation Lovebot…..

Randy frowned. The plan was not going so well.

"We need to find a way to bring them together without causing bodily harm." He spoke.

"But bodily harm is fun!" Kickback smirked.

"We want them in love…not dead." Randy shot back. He pouted and crossed his arms.

"Um, let's put something in their drinks…" Shockwave mused.

"Nah, too obvious." Randy said.

"Lets shoot em' with love arrows dawgs!" Soundwave shouted. The other 'Bots cheered their approval.

"You know….," Randy scratched his metal chin, "That JUST might work….SHOCKWAVE!"

"Yes."

"Make me a batch of Love Potion number 9."

"But, that's only a song and a movie, not-"

"I DID NOT HIRE YOU TO QUESTION ME!"

"But, but…I volunteered!"

"Whoops, my bad….you still have to make the potion."

Shockwave stomped off, mumbling under his breath.

A beat.

Randy grabbed a mike and started screaming at the top of his lungs.

"I took my troubles down to madam Roue

You know that gypsy with that gold cap too

She's got a pact and I'm ready for the rhyme

Seven little bottles of love potion number nine"

"SHUT UP!" Everyone screamed.

"Sheesh, it's a good song. You guys have NO taste for music!" Randy shouted.

Everyone slowly shook their heads and filed out of the dugout.

Randy pounded on the intercom.

"IS IT READY SHOCKWAVE?"

"Yes, and you don't have to yell."

"Okay, listen up. I want you to fill up some shotgun bullets up with the potion."

"What? Are you crazy?"

"You heard me, and I'll also need a cupid costume, you know, the weird baby things that fly around and shoot people with love."

"I know what they are; I guess I'll play your sick game, but only because you have pictures of me dressing up in women's cloths."

"You bet your sweet ass I do, now chop-chop or you'll see these in the New York Times."

The intercom shut of with a hiss as Randy grinned.

"Love potion number nine, OH YEAH!"

D.D.D.D.D.D

Much later…..

"All right Skywarp," Randy stated, "I left a note in Starscream's and Megatron's room telling them to meet their 'secret admirer' tonight on the roof."

"Yeah, and then what?" Skywarp asked.

They were both standing on the roof of the base. It was a perfect, beautiful night out and the D-con gang was trying one last effort to get Screamer and Megs together.

"You see my teleporting amigo, we are going to set up a fancy dinner up here and let my love bullets take care of the rest." Randy replied.

"Oh I see, where is everyone else?"

"Oh they're setting the plan up. You DO remember the plan Skywarp, right?"

"Uhh…..let me think…..no."

Randy smacked his hand over his face.

"You were supposed to make sure that they will come!"

"Oh, yeah….I remember now." Skywarp said.

Randy sighed. "Just…go and make sure that they'll come."

Skywarp saluted and teleported away. Randy sighed again and began setting everything up for tonight.

D.D.D.D.D.D

Later, in Starscream's room…

Starscream read and re-read the note. It simply said that his secret admirer wanted to meet him on the roof tonight. He frowned.

Someone was most likely playing a joke on him, and he didn't feel like getting laughed at again.

"I won't go," he decided out loud. "Besides, MXC is coming on later tonight."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you!"

Starscream jumped. "WHO'S THERE?" he demanded.

He slowly turned around to see a floating sheet, waving in an unseen wind.

"I am the ghost of Valentine's Day! I have come to make SURE that you will meet you true love tonight!"

"You know, you're just a floating sheet, I don't really thin-"

"I AM A GHOST!" the sheet shouted. "And I am made from a sheet! I can't help that! All ghosts are made out of sheets!"

Starscream stared. "Is that POUND PUPPIES on your sheet?"

"SILENCE! You will FEAR the puppies unless you go to the roof tonight. FEAR THEM I SAY!"

Starscream frowned. "And what are you going to do to me if I DON'T go?"

"BEHOLD!" the Ghost shouted. A bottle of metal corroding fluid floated in the air.

"Good God!" Starscream cried. "I'll go I'll go! Just don't rust up my pretty face!"

"Whooo!" The ghost spookily said. "Whoooo! Now go! Or I shall make you sad…I guess."

Starscream ran out of the room, screaming like a school girl. The sheet stared, before the sheet ripped off, revealing a confused Sky warp.

He blinked before going off toward Megatron's room.

D.D.D.D.D.D

Megatron's Room…

Megatron read the note he found in his room. He scratched his head as he wondered how the person who left the note got past his mutant half-starved vampire piranhas.

He turned to walk away when he smacked headfirst into a giant penguin.

"Ow!" he cried and fell backwards on his behind. He looked upwards, wondering what was slipped into his drink this time.

"I am the mighty Valentine's Day penguin of DOOM!" the penguin quacked. "You WILL meet your secret admirer or I will PECK OUT YOUR EYES! YOU DON'T WANT THAT, DO YOU?"

"No, I'd rather not have my eyes pecked out. That would hurt pretty damn badly." Megatron retorted.

"SILENCE! You WILL go!" The penguin practically withered with excitement. "Oh, it is very great fun! They have cupcakes!"

"What if I…don't go?" Megatron asked. He stood up and dusted himself off.

"Oh, you will know. And it will not be pleasant, for I WATCH you CONSTANTLY!"

Megatron looked horrified. "Even when I SHOWER?" He shrieked.

"Yessss." The penguin hissed. "Now…go! Go to the cupcakes!" The penguin ushered Megatron out of the room.

He threw him out of the room before slamming the door shut, cutting Megatron off from his room.

When alone, the penguin turned and gazed into the closet to the left. Skywarp stepped forth, wearing a very tacky penguin costume with one of the eyes missing.

Skywarp glanced up and saw the penguin before him. "I'm too late now huh?" he said.

"Yup, sorry about that Skywarp old' chap." The penguin stated. He glanced at a watch on his flipper. "I'm afraid I must be going. There are plenty of places left to spread my Valentine cheer"

The penguin floated out the open window. He turned in midair and waved at Skywarp below.

And then, he was gone.

"GOODBYE PENQUIN!" Skywarp shouted. After a few moments, Skywarp wrote 'Autobot's Rule' on Megatron's wall before jumping out the window.

Unfortunately, he forgot about the minefield below.

D.D.D.D.D.D

Later that night….

Megatron walked onto the roof. I was a very pretty, cloudless night. Every star seamed to be gleaming.

On the center of the roof sat an elegantly decorated table with a fancy dinner set out before them.

Megatron glanced out and was surprised when he saw Starscream walking towards him. They both ran over to each other and began speaking at once.

"YOU'RE MY ADMIRER!"

"WOW! I'D NEVER GUESS!"

Meanwhile, Randy sat, concealed in camouflage as he carefully took aim from a tree. He matched perfectly with the leaves, making him invisible.

He brought up his shotgun and cocked it. He took aim, squinting an optic as his finger squeezed the trigger.

"Taste my Love bullets BEYOTCH!" He hissed.

BLAM!

"OW! SOMETHING BIT ME!" Starscream yelled. The shotgun bullet penetrated his backside, leaving a large bullet whole.

BLAM!

"OH SNAP!" Megatron yelled. He was also shot in the backside.

"Hmmm." Randy mumbled to himself. "Perhaps they need a bigger dose."

CLICK-CLICK! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

Randy frowned. "Oh dear, out of bullets. Oh well, my Love bullets should have done the trick."

Megatron and Starscream moaned in pain. They were both riddled with bullet holes and it looked quite painful.

Megatron looked up and gazed into Starscream's eyes. "You know," he said. "Your optics take my breath away…"

"This is quite an oxymoron, since we don't really breathe." Starscream retorted. "However," she said, also gazing into Megatron's eyes. "If I did breathe, you would take MY breath away too…"

Without warning, they both started kissing like mad, rolling around on the roof. Randy watched and stood up from the tree.

"OPERATION LOVE BOT IS A SUCSESS!" He shouted.

The entire Decepticon army cheered while Soundwave began to play some sappy music.

While Megatron and Starscream were rolling around and kissing, they failed to notice that they were getting a hair too close to the edge of the roof.

And, they simply rolled off into the minefield.

"OH SNAP!" they cried as they both landed in a tree, which was completely luck on their part. Megatron glanced over to spot Skywarp impaled on a tree limb. Skywarp waved and Megatron waved back.

Without warning, Megatron and Starscream began making out again. "EWWW!" Skywarp shrieked. "That's so NASTY! What are you two doing? Oh good god WHAT ARE YOU DOING! ARRGH!"

Skywarp's terrified screams faded slowly into the night. A few fireflies flew by the base and made their way into the sky.

And it was still.

Next time! Transformer's the musical!

R&R, or the bunny gets it.