Phase 02
I think I forgot how to smile. It is just another day, another day of waiting...for him. When will it end? I wish I could say, but I can't. During his absence I've made a ritual for myself, everyday I will curse him until one day he comes back and screams in my face. I can hear it now,
"BAKA WOMAN!"
I'm laughing. Rolling on the ground like a maniac. The picture is painted so vividly in my mind, his purple face, his huge mouth, and let's not forget the ridiculous hair! I miss it all. The fighting, the yelling, the passion. I feel so terrible. It's happening. I'm starting to forget things. The sound of his voice, the look in his eyes, the smell of his cologne. Even though I still see him all the time, I'm forgetting what he looks like. Why? Because I see a stranger. It's not the Doumyouji Tsukasa I know. The Doumyouji I know wouldn't let a girl cling to him for his life. The Doumyouji I know wouldn't look at me with those cold eyes. The Doumyouji I know still loves me.
I'm scared. Because I can feel myself slipping away, letting go... Hell, sometimes, I WANT to let it all go. Should I? Or should I grasp it tightly still? I'm questioning myself now, am I hanging on for the right reasons? It seems like maybe I'm only doing this for the sake of my pride. Of being the strong girl. But is it really for...Makino Tsukushi? The real Makino Tsukushi? The vulnerable, weak Makino Tsukushi? I tell myself I'm strong, that I have weed power. And I do. But after all, a human's different personalities are like facets on a diamond, countless. Being strong just happens to stand out, but the truth is, I'm just another helpless girl.
~
The droplets are rolling down the window. Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop. It is the day when men and women stroll down the beach, hand in hand, laughing happily, falling in love. I hate it with a passion. All of it, the smiles, the laughter, the love. The whole prospect makes me feel all the more lonely. I'm drowning into this whirlpool of self-pity. Those people. They disgusted me, a bunch of them didn't even know about true love. Everything is so superficial. The women with the huge chests, painted faces, and shoes with heels that reached past Mt. Everest. Those people really pissed me off. I'm becoming an old lady, a cynic with a sour outlook on life. The poison is slowly taking me away...I'm dying everyday.
Suddenly the sky cleared, and Jurassic Park music started ringing throughout the house.
"Moshi moshi!"
"Makino. Open your door right now."
The line went dead. I didn't panic because I knew the sound of his voice. Hanazawa Rui.
I did as I was told and found a single yellow rose at the foot of my door. I picked it up carefully with my eyes wide open. There was a note attached; it read,
"Go to Autumn Footsteps."
Autumn Footsteps was a shoe store- an expensive one at that! This is the first time in a long time I've been so wildly intoxicated with anticipation. My feet seemed to have become wings. I flew to the store and left scorching trails behind me.
I could hardly breathe. When I entered this delicate shop, I felt awkward and out of place. Fortunately, a woman came up to me and said,
"Are you Hanazawa-san's pet?"
She said this so naturally. I blinked. She waved some fingers in front of my face, and I arrived back to Earth once again.
"Eh? Heh...heh... Y-yes?"
"Well, you have the rose, so I'll just assume you are. Here are the shoes that Hanazawa-san picked out for you. He said if they didn't fit, or if you didn't like them, then you could choose whatever you wanted. Oh, yes, and he said you can pay him back when you become rich."
He always knew everything. I opened the box, inside were a pair of white sandals topped with a yellow rose. It was so simple and elegant all at the same time. What is UP with that man? I think he's like a, I don't know, God or something. He always did the exact right thing at the exact right moment. And the sandals...they didn't have heels. At that moment, I remembered how to smile again.
~
The note attached to the rose said,
"Go to Tokyo Diamonds."
I started running again while clutching one sandal per hand, this time people were staring at me, I could hear bits and bits,
"Women these days...crazy lunatic...total ass..."
Yea. Ok. Sure. I DON'T GIVE.
When I reached my destination, a woman lead me inside. The room was pitch black. Ironically, a ray of brilliant light shot straight down from the ceiling and hit a counter. The counter had five objects placed upon it, and a perfect yellow rose sat by each object. I looked to the first object, it was a necklace. A glittering silver chain with a diamond pendant carved in the shape of a rose bud hanging from the center. Wow. All the things I've ever dreamed about were popping up like daisies on a field. My eyes kept on scanning. The second object was twenty-five round diamonds entwined together to create a bracelet that clasped perfectly around my small wrist. So expensive looking... The third object, or rather objects, were earrings. I was worried at first seeing my ears were not pierced. But then I saw that they were magnetic. The earring drooped down till they were two inches away from my shoulders; diamond studs dangled at the ends. The fourth object was a tiara! A tiara! I had always wanted a tiara...all of my life I lived as a poor commoner, how I wished I could live the life of a fairytale princess for just one day...and now, now, my wish has come true. Just when I thought it couldn't get any better I saw the chocolate. Just a piece of chocolate. And if possible, my smile grew. Bigger...and bigger...and bigger...
~
I arrived at Heaven's Boutique (this would be my tenth rose since I got a haircut and then got a purse). The moment I took my first step into this shop, a lady greeted me warmly and lead me to a small private room. Inside, there was a chair and a body-length mirror. And...the most beautiful dress I had ever laid eyes on in my life hung on the wall. The dress was white with spaghetti straps and a modestly cut neck. The white looked so pure, so innocent, so, well, white. I slipped it on quickly along with all the other stuff Hanazawa Rui heaped upon me. The girl I saw in the mirror didn't quite look like me. It was a more feminine me, but I didn't look like a prostitute either. The dress wasn't revealing, and it didn't cling to my body like leather. But even I had to admit to myself that I looked...decent? Pretty? I really didn't know how to put it into words. I then picked up the yellow rose sitting with a note on the chair; the note in my hand right read,
"Go to Eitoku's rooftop."
I walked (running proved to be unsuccessful in all these extravagant accessories) towards Eitoku and soon arrived. I sprinted up the stairs while clutching the ends of my dress and stopped in front of the door that would lead me to the rooftop. At the foot of the door, there lay another rose. Except this time, there was no note; instead, the rose was wrapped in a handkerchief. The handkerchief was white, but at the bottom left corner, there were tiny words. The golden stitching read, "To My Pet." I laughed, and pushed open the door.
~
Author's Notes: Hmm...I'm not spending as much time on this as I would like to, so it's definitely not as insightful as I wanted it to be. One of these days, I'll definitely edit this. And the stores that were mentioned above are all just a part of my imagination. It's only the second chapter, and I don't know what to do. Blah. I do realize there is a tense change, don't worry, it's just my style of writing (though I know it irks some). E-mail me at: yingerz@hotmail.com Feedback is always wonderful. Before I forget, Doumyouji will become a vital character later for all you Doumyouji fans. :o)