CHAPTER XX:

We got to this cheap imitation of heaven that was up there to find out a couple of interesting things.

My whole family was up there, it looked as Paige and Jake decided to move magic school library over there too. If there wasn't enough room already, they room was now packed up with books and notes for the trial.

Chris was sitting on the bed, his head against the wall and an annoyed and pained expression on his face. Mom was sitting beside him, her hand on his knee. He seemed to be ignoring her… well not her… everything and everybody. I sat down beside her on the bed and rested my head on her lap. My mom stroked my hair gently, almost as an instinct. I know she could feel I was too warm, but she didn't say anything. She just soothed me with her touch.

Paige, Phoebe and Jake were telling everybody their ideas on what might be useful for the trial and everybody was expressing their own opinions and ideas… well… everybody except me and Chris that were still resting our heads, with our eyes closed most of the time, trying to remain strong and being deadly quiet.

Mom had silent tears sparkling her face, Wy was pacing frenetically, Paige was running around hyperactively, Phoebe was babbling non stop and Penny was following her at the same speed. Jake was going through the book and remaining as calm as possible in this type of situations. Prue was sitting on his mother's lap and once in a while, she would stand up and walk to Wy, held his hand for a while, quietly and smiling. My dad had been jotting down anything that he thought might help for the trial; once in a while he patted Chris' knee or caressed gently his hair, with no apparent reaction from him. He was also staring at me scared, I guess wondering what would it happen to me if the other Chris was vanish… will my soul be able to survive that?

This went on for a while. My head ache was killing me and I didn't want to be there. I think I must have fallen asleep cuz when I opened my eyes, Wyatt was raising his voice and sarcastically saying.

"Oh yeah? Cuz the Chrises seem to be a fountain of joy and optimism today!"

We both glare at him fulminating him with our look. "I just proved my point!" He smirked. "So… I know what is wrong with my little baby brother, but… what is wrong with my big baby brother?"

"You are KIDDING ME, right?" Chris asked annoyed, not even looking at him, head still resting on the wall.

"Not really… I mean… I KNOW what's going on and it's not too cheerful, but having two martyr-hero brothers that are usually scheming and planning against the bad guys…it is NOT normal to have the two of you hibernating at a moment like this! You kind of have a "slight" tendency to battle till is kills you and bottle things up till you explode." He smirked at him.

"Whatever Wy, I don't know about him" Chris said referring to me "But I have the worst headache in history and I am seriously not in the mood to have you insulting me, like you were SO perfect!" He replayed angrily… moods weren't at their best in a moment like this.

"I am not insulting you! I am telling you the truth and trying to get you to react. You are never like this Chris, YOU FIGHT, and this scares me! Chris you are DEAD, it's kind of illogical that you have a head ache, you know? React! Dude they might vanish your soul or god knows which torture they might come up with, they are holding an unfair trial against you tomorrow! You never did anything wrong, you saved the world! And all they ever offer you was pain and betrayal… is THIS how you react? You sit down and have a headache? It's not like you are even helping anymore…you are just laying there, saying nothing, doing nothing…and THAT freaks me out!"

"And what do you want me to do, Wy?" He asked sarcastically "Yell and scream and cry and break things like YOU DO?"

"If that's what you fell like it… DO SOMETHING… what ever you want to do or say… but SOMETHING!"

Everybody looked at Chris lovingly and expectantly, I tried to shrink as much as possible so I could avoid being the focus of attention.

"What do you want me to say, Wy?" He said beaten "I am tired… I am so tired of all… I don't want to fight anymore, there is no point… I am done… I threw the towel. I QUIT! I am not strong anymore! Everybody thinks I have this unlimited amount of energy and that I can keep fighting against everything and everybody and I don't want to fight anymore! Why would I? I always loose! I mean I know I managed to save Wyatt and all, save the world, save the elders… but what I did win? NOTHING! I just lost my life, don't get me wrong, I'd do it again in a heart beat, but that's not the point. When mom died, I fought to stay strong for everybody, and what did that bring me? That everybody thought I was fine and just relayed on me… and I was a broken hearted fourteen year old boy, with a lot more weight over my should that I could carry… but I still carried it, thinking that if I took the load from everybody else they would be fine… and what that got me? That everybody DIED…and then… I took even more, I just wanted to make sure the ONE person I had left would be ok, I just wanted to make sure Wy would be ok and I fought, and I fought and I tried… and he kept on slipping away form me…turning into the one thing my mom would never bare… and I fought to stay on the right path… cuz I wanted to be with Wy so badly… I wanted to follow him, to take refuge in this false sense of security he gave me, but I didn't… I stayed strong and when I saw there was no other way out, I went to the past, I lied, I cheated, I did so many things that I didn't wanted to do… I endured all of your mistrust and hatred and it was SO hard, but I kept on fighting…Gosh I came back before the Titans, cuz… my dad was an elder and everybody said elders were good… and I wanted to save them…the same people that want to destroy me over and over again…I saved them… cuz you might think I let a lot of them died, so dad could become an elder… true… but there was SO much I could do… I saved tons of them that were meant to die on the Titans' hand and then on Wyatt's… now I am just tired of fighting, I don't want to be strong anymore, whatever happens… just let it happen… I don't care anymore…I just can't do it" He whispered the last sentence battered. "I am sorry!" He said with watery eyes.

"It's ok, son." Dad patted his knee reassuringly. "You don't have to do it! We'll do it for you! If you need to sit down and relax, then be it. You deserve it!"

"What's the point? It's a loose fight anyways" He said defeated. "No matter how hard I try… I never get anywhere!" He looked at mom with glassy eyes "Why is that I never get anywhere, mom?" And we could see her heart breaking right in front of us, she didn't have an answer for her boy "When I was little you used to tell me that if I tried hard enough, I could achieve anything I wanted, so I tried and kept on trying. I tried to be perfect thinking that if I was powerful enough, smart enough, good enough, if I didn't cause any trouble. Dad would be proud of me and pay attention to me and love me…but it seemed the better I was, the least dad thought I needed him and the least attention he paid to me. Then you died and I thought that if I tried to overcome my grief and tried to be good enough, dad would come to me… Dad would love me and be proud of me…" Now it was dad's heart turn to break "Wy would be fine, everybody had to be fine if I tried hard enough… cuz you said that if I tried hard enough I could do anything I wanted, and I wanted them to be alright so badly, and I tried SO hard mom, but it didn't work, everything just spiraled downhill mom." My dad put a comforting hand on Chris' shoulder and Chris looked at him. "Dad…" He said devastated "I… I…I just wanted you to be proud of me…but now…I am just too tired."

"Oh Chris!" Dad caressed his cheek feeling heart broken for all the pain he had caused to his boy. " I Am SO proud of you son, I don't think a father could ever be prouder of a son. I am the luckiest man on the planet to have you as my son, and I don't know what I did to deserve you!" He kissed Chris' forehead and then look straight into his eyes, just to make sure he would absorb the information. "I know it might be too late, son, but I love you… SOOO much… you can't even begging to imagine how much your father loves you and it's proud of you…it might be too late to tell you that, and if there is ONE thing I am going to regret in my life, was something I never even did… that is not being there for you when you needed me… because you are one of the fours greatest blessings I have in my life… and you are one of the four reasons I wake up every morning and do everything I do. The day I lost you was the worst day in my life. So if you want to relax and leave it to us, do it… but NEVER ask me to give up on you, cuz I won't do it… EVER, do you understand!"

Chris shocked us all by impulsively hugging my dad.

"Thanks dad… I really needed to hear that before I disappear… at least I know it wasn't all in vain… I least I got a few glimpses of what might have been, right?'

"We are NOT done… and I am not giving up, son!"

"You don't have to dad, I already did! There is no point! I always try, but it's never good enough… Why mom?" He asked her with teary eyes "Why is never good enough? Why am I never good enough? Why do I always end up alone?"

My mom hugged him, rocked him back and forth.

"You are good enough… you are very, very, very, very good… do you understand me? Don't ever say something like that. And we are so proud of you, and you are not alone."

"I don't want to fight anymore… I don't want to be strong anymore, I am tired and frustrated… I am soo tired, mom." And actually a couple of tears escape from his control.

"It's ok honey, we are here now. We'll fight for you." She caressed his temples. "We won't leave you alone, ever…Just rest!" She said sweetly leading him to a horizontal position on the bed we were sitting in.

Which meant me and my headache had to stood up too! My dad walked to me immediately and wrapping me up took me with him. He sat down on the floor and me in front of him, so my torso was resting on his chest. He cradled me in his arms, I tried to get out of it, I am thirteen not two, for GOD SAKE! But he was insistent and I was tired and weak. I just rested in his arms, he caressed my temples and hair. The awkward thing of having a clone of yourself from another time line was that I never knew is all the things they did to me, they actually did to me, or they did to him, though me. One way or another I was too tired to think much about it.

While dad was cuddling me, mom was doing the same with Chris. She helped him into bed and tucked him in, caressed his hair and sang the lullaby she always sang to us, Chris closed his eyes gently and soon my mom indicated us to leave cuz he was asleep.

I wasn't much awake myself at that point. My dad scooped me up and I moaned trying to get down.

"Shh… it's ok, it's ok, just close your eyes Chris… just sleep, kiddo!" My dad told me softly and I was too lazy to disobey.

When I woke up, I was already in my bed, dad was caressing my hair and whispering "Chris, buddy!"

"yeah?" I said sleepily looking at him through hazy eyes.

"Wy and I will go with your aunts to research some more and prepare everything for tomorrow, your grandfather will stay with you and the girls. If you need anything just call us. Are you going to be ok?" He asked in a soft soothing voice.

"I'll go with you!" I said sitting down groggily. He shuffled my hair lovingly and smiled at me.

"I know you wanna come, kiddo, but PLEASE go back to bed…I can't deal with more worries. I am begging you, son, help me with this one and just sleep and try to get better." The pain and worry in my father's pleading eyes was so much it didn't allow me to contradict him.

I just hugged him comfortingly. "If anyone can convince them, that someone is you dad, don't worry!"

"Yeah, don't you worry either, son! Now go back to bed." He said gently tucking me back in and kissing my forehead.

"Dad…"

"Yeah, buddy?"

"I just wanted to reassure that you did great this time around and that I am glad that you are my dad… I wouldn't want any other dad in the world… and I know he loves you as much as I do!"

My dad looked at me adoringly, brushing the hair out of my eyes. "Thanks buddy, I really needed to hear that! I am glad you are my kid too…you are the best gift life could give me!"

"Now go and find a way to save him!" I smiled at him.

"Take care…" He said in his swirl of orbs.

My sleep was haunted by dreadful nightmares and grandpa was beside me most of the time, I kept on waking up and sleep was hard to get. The girls spent a lot of time in my room too, but soon it was bedtime for them too and they went to sleep in my mom's bedroom.

Grandpa sat beside me, holding my hand, he said he couldn't sleep anyways… but eventually he did fall asleep sitting down. I tried not to scream to avoid waking him up, but sometimes it was hard.

Wy must have been sent to bed, cuz he didn't look to pleased when he orbed into my room around five am. Why did he orb to my bedroom you ask? Good question!

He saw I was half awake in my nightmares. "How are you doing?" he whispered to avoid waking up grandpa, I guess.

"Fine." I said trying to hide any trace of emotion as I could feel my body trembling and betraying me.

"Nightmare won't let you sleep?" He asked caring. I didn't want to answer, but I didn't need to either. "Bummer" He said sympathetically. "Move!" then he ordered with an inexpressive- macho voice.

I looked at him confused, he sway his hand, signaling me to move to one side of my bed. I did what he asked asleep and confused, he sat down on my bed and took his shoes off and then he laid in my bed, covering himself with my covers. "Good night!" he said softly as I turned to see the back of his head.

"Wy…did you blow up your whole room too?" I asked confused.

"No."

"Don't you have a bed of your own?"

"Yes."

"So what are you doing in mine?"

"I don' know… I just needed to know you are near, I guess." He said as if it was something really hard to confess. 'Can we go to sleep now?" He asked in his detached- macho voice again.

"Ok." I answered closing my eyes.

"Chris?" he asked me after a while.

"Yeah?" I answered sleepily.

"If something happens to the other Chris, what will happen to you? Will you be affected by it? How does that work?"

"I don't know… we don't know how it works." I whispered trying not to freak him out.

"I am scared, Chris…what will I do if something happens to you?"

I slightly touched his shoulder "You'll try to make sure that mom doesn't die. Stay strong for her and the rest of the family, be nice to Emma and make sure to kill the next big bad! And whatever happens…don't let the dark side of the force get to you my young jedi!" I said the last part jokingly, but I meant it…

Wy chuckled and turned around to face me. "You always had a fascination with those old movies… specially one of them…which was it? I remember when we were little and you forced dad to teach you how to rewind it. You spent hours and hours, watching and rewinding and watching and rewinding, just like ten minutes of the movie… SO BORING…What was so interesting in those ten minutes, that you wanted to watch over and over again?"

I smiled sadly. "What I liked wasn't to watch those ten minutes, was to be able to rewind them! Was knowing that I could rewind them what I wanted."

"True… you wouldn't let anyone else rewind it for you… I remember, Why?"

"Because I was able to undo it! I thought that if I practiced long enough I might be able to rewind it if I needed to."

"What are you talking about?" Wy chuckled at my childhood logic. "It was a movie! What were you rewinding so avidly? What did you want to make sure you could rewind?"

"I was rewinding when Anakin turns into Darth Vader, when he embraces the dark side out of fear of loosing the ones he love, out of pain. I was a kid; I thought that if I could do it with him, I might be able to do it with you if you ever turned evil! Wy… promise me that no matter what, you won't do that!"

"Or you won't let me sleep with you and make out with you best friend?" He smiled mischievously and bantered but his eyes were overwhelmed with fear and pain.

'Ok…that just sounds GROSS! Keep on talking like that and I'll kick you out of my room!" I smiled at him.

"I promise I won't turn evil, baby brother. No matter in how much pain I am, I won't turn, but promise me you'll try your best to avoid anything happening to you… Cuz it'll just hurt too much."

April 24, 2018

Dad woke us up gently, Wy jolt out of bed but it took me a lot longer to manage to get up. My dad put his hand on my forehead, I didn't even try to pull away.

"I am not staying, dad." I said determined looking at his worried eyes that looked so much like mine.

"I know." He said resigned "Get ready, your aunts have breakfast ready downstairs. And Wy, I love how you remodeled the kitchen!" He chuckled and smiled at Wyatt, he looked guilty at him. "Don't worry, your aunt Paige had to cast the glamour spell in sectors like four times, but she decided that was something your mother needn't see."

It took us a while for all of us to get ready and we got "up there" with only thirty minutes to spare before the trial. Mom was already waiting for us at the amphitheatre. After thirty very anxious moments, the elders began to take their places and Chris appeared escorted by Lionel.

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Nathy1000000

Te entiendo… ni te preocupes… yo tambien tengo mails archivados desde forever!

Me alegra que te haya gustado el update… estaba medio en un writter's block… que es raro, porque esta fic es re facil de escribir…y salio eso… ya vamos adelantando though… ya ahora queda trial, resultado del trial y Chris' birthday!

" Me encanta como pensás en todos los detalles." Gracias! Me siento muy hornada, aunque no se de que detalles estas hablando (no que no trate de pensarlos, porque si, hago un gran esfuerzo, pero me encantaria saber de que parte en particular estas hablando).

Si Victor-Chris is the MAS! (great spanglish!)

"pero todavía me quedo con mil insane Wy antes que con un sane elder" Si no? Bue… guarda tus energias para el capitulo que viene, te sentas en una de las bancas del anfiteatro y los abuchoneas… o no… mejor esperas al 25 a ver si influis en la decisión del trial! "no puedo creer a estos Elder y más les vale perdonar a mi Chris.." two more chapters I guess to see whats the veredict!
"Esto se pone cada vez más emocionanante...mientras el event se acerca y se acerca..." Dun, Dun… espero no te decepcione.

Victorious Light

Thanks. " I'm glad that you made Phoebe say some nice stuff at the beginning of this chapter, a lot of fics I've read lately she always says the wrong thing! It's nice to see her being nice for a change." Nah… I have nothing against Phoebe… I like Paige better of the 3 sisters, but… I think that the three of them have their different personalities and I try to keep my characters, in "character" (even if that sounds redundant), Phoebe might be chatty (which I have no problem actually, I talk a LOT normally) and super affectionate, is the most affectionate of the 3 of them, that in my opinion that is a good thing. That might take her to be a little impulsive sometimes (that it might appear in my fictions ) and slip secrets, but NEVER with a bad intention or not even like Wyatt in this fiction, that could be impulsive and say mean things cuz he is angry, I hope you get what I mean, like it happens on the show. But Phoebe is the best when it comes to dealing with emotions, or talking about emotions and a lot of other good things that derivate from her personality. I think like every character in my fics (and in the show, I guess…) that has it good things and bad things, like any of us, don't you think?

Thanks, thanks, thanks… I am so happy you liked it all!

teal-lover

"chris is such a smartass--but he's hysterically funny." Yes he is… and I am happy I though I could write a little of that! And don't cry with Chris, he would feel horrible.. you know him!

"what's going to happen if they erase big chris? you'll let wy go evil on those evil elders right?" Gee he promised little Chris he wasn't going to go evil, but then… maybe killing the elders is not such an evil thing to do, right? Just the bad ones… the ones that voted against him.

phoebe turner

"wow! great chapter! i have the feling that this story will never end!" he Thanks! Actually this story will probably end in two chapters, three tops… But I have a lot of parts of the sequel already written down. I told you, remember? That cole is coming back?

Chris-Halliwell

""Are you a big defender of Nurture versus Nature? I am…but they are still a lot of things that have a very important biological compound" That was in mi reveiw reply and Huh?" I guess that was your review reply… what can I say?

"What does that mean?" Did you see the chapter of the baby demon that they were fighting whether to kill him or not? Paige uses that Phrase. The whole explanation would be really long (I tend to really enjoy giving theoretical explanations), but the basics of the theories is: It is what is genetics that determine how and who we are, or it is our upbringing, the social environment in which we grow up, what molds us in the individual we are? Most scientist believe is a combination of both and they are trying to research which genes affect which traits of our personality or diseases, etc and which environmental cause develop them. Does it make sense?

"I highly doubt you knew i would like the sound of the chocolate chip mocha and cinnamon rolls." Why? I told you… the other Chrises liked it… you should have liked it too! And then it came the whole nature vs nurture.. that if you are you… then you probably will have sort of the same tastes, those a lot of things are an acquire taste

"HOW OLD ARE YOU? ANSWER ME?" See now is a lot more tempting not to answer you… just because I can… and I am evil… Muahahaha (evil laugh)

"AND I AM NOT YOUR MASTER!" Ok no complains here… I don't like having masters.

"AND I LIKE USING CAPITALS? " Yeah I can see that!

"AND I LIKE USING QUESTION MARKS AND EXCLAMATION MARKS TOGETHER? SEE?" yeah those I like too… they are very practical!

elenehsu

" wyatt is so cute. haha. baby wyatt is so cute. and baby chris...has a big head?" Yeah he does! I still wished they'd pay more attention to him on the show… I love grandpa too… I know the elders owe Chris BIG TIME! Hopefully they'll realize it!

ilovedrew88

Here you have Chris' version in elderland… I hope you liked it! Thanks for ALL your reviews… I really appreciate them SOOO much… thanks!

Nikki14u

Thanks (she bows humbly) and thanks and thanks! News… they will come soon… Well, next chappie is the trial… and then… the results of the trial and the birthday… we are getting there… thanks for sticking with me :)

FRENCH "Butt kicking" SPARKLES:

"Your hands all bloody from punching the stones where their names were carved. I saw you using the money you had for food, to buy them flowers so their tombs would look good. I was there, I was looking and I was in as much pain as you were… - :'( aw that's so sad! and so Chris like." I am glad you think so… yeah I could totally picture it too! Poor boy!

"I'm gonna be so sad when this finished coz it's bloddy brillant but at the same time i want the end so i can know everything ya know?" Don't worry next chappie is the trial and then I guess the next one will be the results, Chris' birthday and final chapter all in one! But then I might split it but not much more! Don't worry the sequel is on it's way… so I hope you like that one too.