Title: At the Crossroads

Author: TWBasketcase

Disclaimer: I do not own the movie St. Elmo's Fire or its characters.

Summary: When Leslie reaches her crossroads, who will she choose Alec or Kevin?

At the Crossroads – Chapter 2 – Kevin

I have always been very philosophical when it comes to love, that's my way of keeping myself from getting hurt. I fell in love for the first time as a teenager, and of course like most teenage loves, it ended and I was hurt. The first problem with love that no one really sees is the fact that in the end you always end up losing, and getting hurt. Whether it's a two week relationship or a 50 year marriage, in some form or another you always end up losing your love. Be it death, infidelity, personal differences, or just abandonment. The second problem with love is that you can't help but fall into it. I ended up being a very bitter guy when I lost my first love, but I ended up even more bitter when I met my second.

Leslie Hunter was my second love; she was everything I wanted in a woman: smart, funny, beautiful, witty, honest, and caring; all the good things rolled up into one. So what was the problem you ask? The problem was Alec Newbury.

We all met in 1980 at Georgetown University; we being Alec, Leslie, Kirby Keger, Jules Van Patten, Billy Hixx, Wendy Beamish, and I. We were a tight knit group of friends and we did everything together. We all ended up in the same dorm and the rest was history. I had met Alec first, he was the one who had introduced me to Leslie, and instantly I was in love. The downfall was that she and Alec had fell in love at first sight. The very day he had met her he told me she was the woman he was going to marry; don't get me wrong I was happy for him, but I couldn't help but be a tad bit jealous. They were the perfect couple; always got along, always kissing and hugging, and our entire group had looked up to them. Only I knew their secret though; I was the only one who had seen the flaws.

It may have been the fact that I was looking for flaws, or it could have been the fact that I spent so much time with the two of them, either way I knew – or hoped – that the happiness wouldn't last forever.

Alec didn't treat her right. He was always sleeping around and pushing her to do things she wasn't quite ready to do. He had bugged her for months to move in with him, and it wasn't until she got sick of hearing it did she do it. He had also bugged her for months about getting married; thankfully she didn't go through with it.

See Alec had this idea in his head that if they got married, he wouldn't be tempted to cheat anymore. What an idiot! He had honestly believed that a ring and certificate would make everything in their lives perfect. See marriage isn't real; it's just a piece of paper stating the government sees that you are a couple. It doesn't put up a net to keep other women out of your pants, it doesn't make you change your life; all marriage is is an illusion.

So day in day out Alec told me of his infidelities while Leslie stayed home and did everything for him. It broke my heart that he could take advantage of such a fine woman and a fine love. What made the fact that I loved Leslie even worse was the fact that everything I hated about love was directly happening to her while I stood back and watched. I hated myself for it.

So one night my roommate Kirby threw a party at the house of a Chinese entrepreneur he was working for, and it was there that Alec had announced he and Leslie were getting married – without consulting her first. They must have ended up having a heated argument in private because the next thing I knew I was punched in the face and on the floor. She had yelled out she knew he was having affairs, and he threw her out. Just like that their relationship had ended, and I was in the middle of it. So I figured since she had no where to go, the least I could do was given her a place to stay for the night. I didn't expect anything that went on to ever happen, except for in my wildest dreams.

We went back to my place and since my roommate was gone for the night it was just the two of us. She had gone through some of my things and found all the pictures I had kept of her over the years; at first she thought it was a gesture of friendship. She drowned the rest of the night and the rest of her sorrows into a bottle of Brandy and it was then that I confessed my love for her. I don't really know if it was the alcohol, the broken heart, or if she actually loved me back, but either way we ended up making love; first on my bed, then on my coffin (don't ask), and then in my shower. It was the most incredible night of my life.

I had right away taken it for more than it meant; that's why I hate love, it blinds you from reality. So I showed up at her new (well sorta new) apartment thinking we were together. She right away put me in my place and rejected the idea of moving in together.

A few days later, Jules had a nervous breakdown and attempted suicide. Leslie had called us all to come over immediately, and lend our hands to help her rethink her actions. In the midst of it all, I ended up alone with Alec on the fire escape and he tried to throw me over. I was hanging on only by my feet and the fistful of my jacket that Alec was holding. He had really gone nuts over the break up and I could see so much hurt in his eyes while looking at him. Instantly I had felt bad for jeopardizing our friendship, but at the same time the guy was trying to kill me! Leslie had been pleading with him the whole time and I could tell that just the sound of her voice eased him a bit…of course it eased me too. So I looked him in the eye and told him the only thing I could think of telling him – the truth. After all, he was still my best friend and in a way I had betrayed him, so the least I could do was tell him the truth about how I felt about Leslie. We haven't spoken much since that day, only when the entire group gets together.

A week after the confrontation Leslie had let us know that she needed to be alone for a while and take the time to think about the situation. It really surprised me that she was even thinking about going back with Alec, but it was Leslie and she is a smart woman so I always respect her wishes. That was six months ago she had told us to give her time, and time I could give. I had already waited four long, lonely years to be with her, and I don't mind waiting longer.

Tonight she had called me and told me she had made a decision; I would find out tonight at 12 o'clock midnight what her thoughts were and what she wanted to do. I am confident that she has made the right decision for herself, and I can only hope that I will like the decision, and restore my faith in that emotion we call love.

I am Kevin Dolenz crazy in love with one of my closest friends; I made love to her behind my best friend's back; and willing to wait another four years for my chance to be with her again.

I guess tonight I will find out the answer.

TBC