Title: At the Crossroads
Author: TWBasketcase
Disclaimer: I do not own St. Elmo's Fire or its characters

Chapter 3 – Leslie

I have heard a lot of people say that there are many different paths you can take in your life; you can go to school if you want, you can be and introvert or extrovert, you can shoot for the stars, or live happy with nothing but nature, you can break the laws, or you can break hearts. I tried as best I could to choose all my own paths but I am the type of person who gets side tracked and influenced easily. I decided in my early teens that I wanted to attend Georgetown University and that decision helped mold a lot of what my life has become.

It was at Georgetown University that I met my six best friends in the entire world. It was at Georgetown University that I met the first love of my life, Alec Newbury.

Kevin Dolenz, Jules Van Patten, Wendy Beamish, Billy Hixx, and Kirby Keger were the five others in our little group. Those five other friends looked up to Alec like he was the model citizen and a flawless lord. Because I was romantically involved with Alec we were often perceived as the perfect couple, and for a long time I was happy to say that I had the perfect relationship. I loved him and I know that he loved me. He was my best friend, my soul mate, and everything I wanted in a man. Alec and I had been together for four years, and it was during the first two that I thought that I was on top of the world. I miss that feeling.

After the first two years of our relationship he started coming home late at night; sometimes he didn't come home at all. When he did come home he would reek of alcohol, perfume, and other women. Believe or not you can smell sex on someone; it's rather disturbing if you ask me but it is true. When he came home from another woman's house I could smell her…but I never said a word. I could always see the hurt and anguish on his features when I smiled at him; he knew what he had done and I could tell that he hated himself for it. Alec was a human; he made mistakes and he had flaws…I knew that better than anyone. I never said a word though because I loved him with every fiber of my being and there is no way that I would let the others see the cracks in my relationship. It was my business and I wanted to keep it that way.

The only thing that was holding me back from a long term, permanent relationship with Alec was the personal secret I held inside; the secret that I knew. I knew of his infidelities and I knew of his lies. He wanted that permanent relationship…and I couldn't give it to him. I couldn't give it to him because I couldn't hurt myself that way. I was already kicking myself for staying with him after he betrayed me and he was lucky enough that I did that; but marriage? Nuh uh. I don't think so; I couldn't do that to myself. Not until he proved to me that marriage would be worth my heart, worth my feelings, worth my soul and life, and most of all worth my dignity.

I had every intention of keeping my knowledge hidden; but when he announced that we were getting married when I specifically told him I wasn't ready, that was his first mistake. When he challenged me for a decent excuse not to marry him? That was his second mistake.

Now don't get me wrong; I know I have made Alec sound like a pretty horrible guy so far but what you have to understand is the sneaky Alec Newbury was not the Alec Newbury I fell in love with. Although I did not miss his infidelities and his temper I did miss his laugh, his gentle touch, the way he made me feel like I was on cloud nine. There were times when I thought that even though he did cheat on me that we would work it out and things would go back to being heavenly. That is until he lost total control with his inner battle.

He lost it completely when he realized that I knew the truth and it killed me inside to hear the words, "I want you out of the apartment, tonight." I never thought that he would do it; to say I was shocked would be an understatement. To think that his mistakes would blow up in my face was definitely a surprise.

I lost; I had no where to go and no one to comfort me…at least that is what I thought. I didn't for one second doubt my friends but that empty and lonely feeling was still there. I was more hurt than I ever could be and my friends saw that. So Kevin – Alec's 'best friend' – offered to let me sleep at his place. It was truly appreciated gesture and sometimes I ask myself today if maybe it was a mistake…or was it for the better?

When we got back to Kevin's place it was the first time I had been there in months, and to say things were a little different would be an understatement. He pulled out all the stops to impress me and what got me the most was the stack of photographs I found next to his bed. All of the photographs were of me throughout the various four years of our friendship. At first I thought it was a friendly gesture but I did have my suspicions. He passed me a bottle and I drowned down all the emotions I suffered from earlier in the evening. It was once the bottle was empty that he had confessed his deep feelings for me.

Kevin is a wonderful and smart guy who made me feel like a goddess again. All the emotion that was missing from last year or so of my relationship with Alec came out and I felt on top of the world. I made love to him through the night and through to the morning.

That morning all I could do was stare into his eyes and thank him silently for giving me the love that I needed that night. I stared into his eyes until the moment I heard Alec's voice fill the living room of Kevin's apartment. Kevin had got up to answer to Alec and that gave me a second to think. I was still pretty angry with Alec, but what goes around comes around, right? He did it to me for at least two years; he got the love he needed from anyone with boobs, and I grabbed at the opportunity to be loved when I needed it the most. What was I going to do with both Alec and Kevin in the next room? It wasn't until I heard them joking about Kevin's 'piece of ass' that I decided to make my move.

The look on both of their faces when I walked out of the room was definitely full the shock that I expected. Alec was not expecting me to be Kevin's visitor and Kevin was definitely not expecting me to come right out to Alec. My eyes couldn't help but tear over as I seen the friendship that they once had crumble. They also couldn't help tear over when I seen the pain in both of their eyes; Alec's pain from our betrayal and Kevin's pain from knowing that he was the middle man. I had a decision to make and I had no idea what that decision was going to be.

Later on in the week I decided that I was going to move back in with my college roommate, Jules. Alec was very hurt that we were splitting up and Kevin was pressing me to move in with him instead. I was very uncomfortable with the entire situation. Things with both Kevin and Alec kept blowing up at every possible moment and they only got worse.

When I found out that Jules had been lying about going to her job and all of her belongings were repossessed I was definitely concerned. When she locked me out of the apartment for the purpose of hurting herself: that was the icing on the cake.

I had no idea what to do about my friend and the only thing that made logical sense to me was to get our group together to show her that she means a lot to us and that we care. She couldn't hurt herself if she knew how much she was hurting us too, right?

I called Alec first; it was just instinct. After I had called Kirby and Kevin as well and I had no idea that all hell would break loose if all of us were under the same roof.

The only way we could get into the apartment was through the fire escape, so I sent the guys out there while I continued to try the door. What happened next was just pure madness.

I had popped my head out our neighbor, Ron's window just in time to see Alec strangling Kevin over the side of the fire escape. Jules was in there trying to kill herself and here two grown men are trying to kill each other over me! It was utterly ridiculous and I could not believe how childish they were being. It hurt me more than you would know that they would hurt each other to get back to me.

The following night I had told them both that I needed time to be alone and think about just who would be the one I wanted to spend my life with. I needed to get my career on track and my heart and mind out of the jumble they were in.

That was six months ago and since then I have spent a lot of time thinking over just what I wanted to do. In that time I have landed a wonderful job as a landscaper for the city, I have my own home and all I need now is the man that I love. I have made my decision and I have informed them both. I explained to them that they would both know by midnight; if I showed up at his door, then he is the one I have been waiting for. If I don't come, then he will know I have chosen the other. I just hope to god that I made the right decision and I won't regret it later.

I took the steps up to the apartment and stood at the door blankly for a few moments as I composed myself. This was taking every once of courage that I had in my body and I don't think my heart has ever beat so hard. I raised my hand to knock and waited for a few seconds as I heard soft footsteps towards the door. He opened the door slowly and gave a small smile as the light from his apartment washed over my face.

I swallowed hard and gave a smile, "Hey,"

He smiled in return, "Come on in."

TBC – Who did she pick? Read on to chapter 4 to find out! Thanks to Hannah and Jessesgirl29 for your lone reviews. You both gave me different opinions and I'm sorry to say I can only make one of you happy about my own choice! Thanks for reading!