A/N: This is being written in favour of sleep. Real life has given me a huge kick in the stomach very recently which is making writing preferable to sleep, so yay for you, right? I do have one worry, though. Excluding a very few I seem to have been abandoned. I'll let you know now, peoples, I'm currently feeling pretty bad. I wouldn't even be writing this if I hadn't been bored and looked over some past, glowing reviews. I'm not threatening to quit writing but I am warning that if I don't feel appreciated I may opt for easier ways of distracting myself. Your call.

Disclaimer: This chapter is done for my ever faithful reviewers. The ever faithful reviewers who have been reviewing, that is. So blame late night, no beta and a little bit of nostalgia if this chapter isn't up to par. Of course, you theoretically could blame me but who'd want to do that?

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Boredom has strange consequences

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"Okay peoples, listen up. I'm here to give you the tech speech. It works like this; there are a lot of big, strong, scary demons out there. Not a lot of big, strong, scary demons in here. That's the way we like it. Of course, there aren't enough Slayers or Jelts to keep them out. That's where us techies come in.

We work the big guns. You all know how the Jelts use a compact alloy that causes the demons to explode? Well, all our bullets are made of the same alloy and we use big guns. Whenever we're under attack, you just point and shoot. A monkey could do that, right?

Wrong. This alloy causes huge complications in the wiring. For every sixteen shots you get off, you're probably going to have to fix something on the gun somewhere. What you have to do is swing out of your seat and slide your way as far as you need to down the burning hot barrel of the gun and fix whatever's broken loose then get back up to your seat and start firing again. Before the demons reach you, because if they do the security team will blow your gun.

That gives you a two, maybe three minute window. We haven't been drilling you lot this hard for fun. Well, not entirely for fun. We're just as needed as the others, and our job needs just as much skill and precision. If you lot aren't worried, then you don't deserve to be on the walls. I'm sure you've heard one of Spike's speeches. Everything he said goes double for me. You screw up and you die. We don't have lucky accidents that let people survive. If the demons got control of one of our guns then we're all dead.

Don't screw up."

XXX

Spike slid the leather duster on smoothly, then checked his pockets. Wallet, check. Stake, check. Smokes and lighter, check. House key, check. Lock picks for when he lost the house key or he just wanted in some place he wasn't allowed, check.

"Where're you going?" Derek asked from his place in the doorway.

"Out," Spike said with a grin. "I figure that Angel can baby sit the girls. Wanna come with?"

The pair cocked their heads, listening to the sounds coming from the kitchen.

"No, Angie. That's a wooden spoon, not a stake for really flabby vampires. It's used for cooking," Angel explained wearily.

"Interesting, interesting." The scrabbling of pen on paper. "What is cooking?"

"Why do I have to wipe up this mess? Is it my fault Angie can't manage to put hand to mouth more than one time in five?" Mary complained loudly.

Derek shrugged. "Sure."

The pair sneaked out the front door, careful not to alert Angel to their escape. Spike breathed deeply the fresh night air. He was already regretting the loss of his vampire sense of smell. It smelled… clean. Wholesome. Good. It had been so long since he'd been able to breath outside without gagging he'd forgotten what it was like.

Looking over at his friend, Spike noticed he wasn't the only one who was revelling in a pre-apocalyptic world's night. Derek had his eyes wide open and fixed on the stars, and he was breathing so deeply he was in danger of passing out or something if it went on much longer.

When Spike looked at the street he was on, he grinned. "Hey, mate. You want to see how people had fun back in the old days?" Derek looked at Spike's gleeful expression before tentatively consenting. Spike offered a more genuine smile, clapping the young man on the back. "Don't worry, mate. It shouldn't hurt a bit."

Quickening their pace, it wasn't long until the familiar sounds of the Bronze could be heard. Spike felt a little disappointed that Derek's face remained impassive except for a quirking of his eyebrow. It would be much more satisfying to have brought along one of the girls. The jelt was too much like Angel in some ways, even if he was markedly different to the poof in that he was actually likeable.

As they approached the door to the local club, Spike noticed an almost familiar shape duck into the alley, closely followed by what were clearly vampires. Rolling his eyes, Spike gestured to Derek and started off to the girl's aid.

"You know how to kill a vamp?" he asked the young man gruffly. The blank stare he got was answer enough. "Most demons in this world aren't the same as our old one. Beheading works on most of them, but there aren't too many who'll be affected by the same things. The one's we're about to fight can be killed by beheading, wood through the heart, sunlight or fire."

A terse nod was all there was time for before they launched themselves into combat. Five vamps on three humans, two of them women. The biggest vamp was leaning over a redhead - Willow? - while three were pummelling a dark-haired young man - Xander? - so Spike went after the one about to bite a dark-haired girl. As the vamp exploded into dust, Spike caught the dazed woman and lowered her to the ground gently before trying to sneak up on the three attacking the man.

One of the three attacking the young man turned and snarled a warning to his friends. The dropped the boy to the ground and attacked Spike. Punching one in the face and kicking another in the stomach with his steel-capped boots before the third dragged him down. When it tried to bite him he viciously head butt the vamp, probably breaking a nose.

Gripping the smallest vamp, Spike rolled suddenly to one side and jammed a stake into it before it realised what was happening. A searing pain in his side flared suddenly as one of the vampire's kicked him five feet across the ground. He was hauled to his feet and punched in the gut, winding him. This human need for air was already biting him in the ass.

Derek finished his first vamp and tackled one of the one's on Spike, but that was all the ex-vampire saw because the remaining vamp landed a roundhouse on his jaw, knocking him to the ground. As he gasped for air, the vampire descended with an evil grin, his yellowed teeth dull in the poor light. Actually, the bloody things would be ugly in any light except pure sunlight.

The dark, ugly vampire dissolved into dust and Spike saw a concerned, much younger than remembered Xander extending a hand to help him up. He weakly gripped the proffered hand and the young man dragged him to his feet. This was just bloody great. He owed his new life to the whelp.

"Not that I don't appreciate the help," Xander said in a strained voice, "but who are you guys?"

Spike bent at the waist, trying to catch his breath , so Derek answered him. "I'm Derek, he's Spike. We're… new here."

"Well, I gotta say I'm glad," the dark-haired girl said loudly. "I really don't want to end up vamp-chow. I'm Cordelia Chase," she said with an imperious nod.

"I'm Xander," the boy said, shaking hands with Derek.

"Hi, I'm Willow," the redhead muttered, rubbing her throat tenderly. She cast a worried look at the heaving Spike. "Is he okay?"

"He's fine," Derek said breezily. "He smokes."

Spike finally straightened up and began to breathe more slowly. Bloody hell, if this was the way he was going to be after every fight maybe he should quit. He'd have to get Derek to teach him some of those poncy breathing exercises that the Poof always harped on about.

"Hey guys," said a voice Spike had never even hoped to hear again, "sorry I'm late but there were more of them than I thought." Buffy Summers, in all her golden skinned, golden haired glory stood looking on in confusion. Spike felt his face heat up and… other parts of his anatomy reacted as well. This was just sodding great. He finally gets to see Buffy again- better, gets a fresh start and he's still too short of breath to speak and red-faced and beaten up to boot. "What's going on here?"

"Oh, nothing much, Buffy," Cordelia said snootily. "Just a vampire attack."

"Are you guys all right?" Buffy asked worriedly, her eyes darting to her friends' faces.

"We're fine," Cordelia stated, walking over to Spike and sliding an arm under his duster and wrapping it around him firmly. "Spike and his friend saved our lives."

XXX

They were back in the Bronze again. Some sort of 'thanks for saving our lives' thing, which, you know, they never said to her and she did it nightly. She saved the world weekly. Not that she was jealous, she totally wasn't. It just seemed a bit tacky to do all this for a pair of complete strangers. They could totally be trying to take over the world! Okay, so maybe the guy who spent most of his time laughing at Xander's jokes wasn't, but just because the other one was pretending to wince every time he took a sip of beer didn't mean he wasn't evil.

Buffy leaned back in her chair and frowned at Spike. Cordy was all over him, and okay, so maybe he was hot in a 'I'm stuck in the eighties and I love Billy Idol' way, but Buffy didn't trust him. His friend Derek seemed okay, even trustworthy. He hadn't tried to make a move on her or Willow, spending most of his time sitting next to and talking with Xander, unlike Spike, who'd been flirting with Cordy all night. What kind of name is Spike anyway?

"So, Spikey boy," Xander began. "Where'd you get the name?" The peroxide-blond perv just looked at Xander blankly. "I mean, Spike? Either there's a story behind that or someone's parents didn't like them very much."

"I think I can guess," Cordy simpered, throwing the guy a smouldering look. God, could the cheerleader be any more obvious? Mr sleaze blushed like a schoolgirl but he lifted that stupid scarred eyebrow of his and did this roll-y thing with his tongue that most certainly did not look sexy at all.

Looking anywhere but at the disgusting pig, Buffy's eyes lit up when they spotted the hottie from the store. Angel was here. Tonight might be okay after all.

XXX

Angel rubbed his forehead as he entered the Bronze. Somehow he just knew that Spike had dragged Derek to the local club, leaving Angel to watch the more… difficult three. Angie had been horrific when the sugar high kicked in, literally bouncing off the walls. She would have to stay on a strict non-ice cream diet. Unless Spike was going to watch her. Angel couldn't hold back an evil grin at the thought.

She'd finally just collapsed from exhaustion, and there was never a time when Angel had thanked the Powers more fervently than he had when that happened. Mary had wanted to check out the level of technology and see what she could pick up on her own, which would probably be helpful since neither Angel nor Spike could remember a whole lot about the time frame clearly.

Anna, after her discovery of 'the iced cream' had opted to stay at home and 'investigate' all the food he'd bought rather than go find Spike and Derek. Just as well, really, because he wasn't in the mood for her shrill questions about everything. Normally he was okay with it, but this had been one hell of a day.

As he stepped inside the Bronze, Angel realised how long it had been since he saw people so carefree. It felt good to see a world mostly untainted by demons, a world that still wore a lot of colour and had music.

All good will deserted him when he saw a peroxide blond head at a table. Angel knew it, absolutely knew that Spike had lumped him with the girls and gone searching for Buffy. He'd known it ever since he mentioned she was back. Spike had no sense of self con-- wait a second. The girl who was pressed up against him had dark hair. When she flicked her hair out of her way, Angel forgot to breath.

Cordy.

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Depressingly Primitive Recording of Past Events as They Probably Occurred

Annalisa Mevirium Telomire

Entry I-b

Humble reader,

My findings are of such interest that I have been forced to create this second notation. Much has been discovered and confirmed. Chief among them, though Angel is pretty he refuses to take off his shirt while we wait for Spike. This leads me to the conclusion that Angel is, as Spike has called him, a Poof. I am unsure as to the meaning of the word, but Angel is the only one who gets called a Poof by Spike, and he is the only one who would not take off his shirt. This must be crucial to his Poofness.

Another thing of great import are a list of foodstuffs, good and bad.

Good

Iced Cream (!)

Coco Pops

Milk

Cheese

Peanut Butter

Bad

Toilet Paper

Glad Wrap

Butter

I must return to my Angie-vigil, good reader, farewell.

XXX

A/N: That's a little more light-hearted, isn't it? It's late, and I can't think of much to say other than the segment at the start was Mary, for those who didn't know. More plot twists soon! Of course, it'll be a lot sooner if you REVIEW!