"Of course," he said immediately, nodding for James to turn the camera off. "I don't have everything about your mother edited yet, but you're welcome to see what I have."
"I think I can wait to watch the finished product. Mom… well, she always told me not to judge something before it was done." Cassie's gaze grew distant. "Most of the base was suspicious about this whole project, you know, but Mom thought it was exciting. She was asking me what makeup she should wear for her interview and she laughed at herself about it. That morning… I was getting ready for school when she left and I joked, I said, "Are you ready for your close-up?" And that was the last thing I ever said to her."
Her eyes were growing wet and Emmett uncomfortably shifted his weight to the other foot. He knew he wasn't any good with kids. What she really seemed to need was a hug, but he didn't think she would accept one from him. He finally said, "The last thing I ever said to my wife was, "Oh, I forgot to take the sheets off the line, but I'm running late and I need to go or I'll miss my flight. I'll call when I arrive.""
He saw Cassie's confusion, and explained, "I was going to do a human rights piece in Botswana. When I got to the hotel, there was the message waiting for me from my brother-in-law. It was one of those dangerous intersections, the kind that cause multiple accidents every year. And I remember being guilty for months afterwards that I hadn't done that one little chore for her."
"But it gets better with time, I know," Cassie said, tone impatient.
Emmett shrugged. "They're clichés but they're true, to a point anyway." He hesitated. "I know this won't mean much, with how short a time I knew her, but I thought Janet was… remarkable, from the very first. She had humor and grace. And I hope I'll be able in some small way to show that."
"Grandpa George said you would probably want to interview me."
It took Emmett a minute to realize she meant General Hammond. He said honestly, "I would like to. But it's completely up to you, and I don't want you to feel like you have too."
Cassie studied him for a long moment, her gaze as penetrating as her mother's. "I'll be in touch." Then she was walking away, returning to the group of students Emmett only now realized were waiting for her a short distance away. She didn't look back.
Emmett spent a few days on the material he had before tentatively seeking out SG-1. In the end he spoke to Teal'c first, sitting uncomfortably on the floor in Teal'c's quarters for nearly two hours. Neither made any reference to Emmett's previous disastrous interview attempt, for which Emmett was grateful. Teal'c spoke briefly but with obvious pride about his son, and Emmett said without thinking, "It must be difficult to be so far away from him."
Almost instantly he wanted to take the words back, but Teal'c's response was a regal nod. "Indeed, he has grown into maturity outside my sight. Yet were I still First Prime I would likely be dead by now. And were I still alive, I would not see him much more than I do now. In fact I chose to betray Apophis because I could not bear for Rya'c to live out his life as a slave."
Emmett was very moved when without prompting, Teal'c looked straight at the camera and said, "People of the Tau'ri, I have often seen your desire for the universe to be a simple place, where right and wrong are clear and all Jaffa are the enemy. But we are not. We live lives that are not so different as you may believe. We love our children. We yearn to be free of the Goa'uld. The Jaffa who believe the Goa'uld are gods also believe the universe is simple, but that is no more than a wishful dream. When you learn the secrets of this facility, remember this."
When asked about Janet Teal'c said gravely, "Doctor Frasier was a skilled warrior. We were honored by her presence and although my symbiote often protected me from serious injury, she saved my life on a number of occasions. She was a fit ruler for the infirmary." Emmett thought that was an odd turn of phrase—"ruler of the infirmary?"—but Teal'c explained, "I also did not consider healers to have a great deal of personal power, but after observing her victory on numerous occasions against Daniel Jackson and Colonel O'Neill I came to recognize her prowess as a warrior." Emmett thought he detected a note of amusement in the last words, but Teal'c had such a perfectly straight face he wasn't sure.
The issue was clarified when he spoke to Colonel O'Neill, and asked about Janet.
"Napoleonic powermonger!"
Emmett's pen froze. "Sorry?"
A small smile touched O'Neill's face. "I called her that sometimes, usually when I felt ready to leave the infirmary and she'd didn't think I was ready yet. She was feisty. Didn't let me bullshit her any, you know? Daniel always tried to get out early too, batting his eyelashes at her, but she never bought it." He paused briefly. "I don't do the mushy stuff too well. But she was part of the family, and we miss her. Will miss her. Ah, you know."
Since he knew O'Neill wanted to move on, Emmett said, "You were on the first mission…."
"Yeah." O'Neill ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it. "God, that was a long time ago. Lifetimes ago. We had no idea what we were getting into."
"Do you regret it?"
The other man considered. "I'd be lying if I said there weren't moments when the bad seemed to outweigh the good by so damn much. So many good people have died, the doc among them. And we've screwed up, too, lots of times. We learn from our mistakes though."
He sighed. "But I don't think you can put the good and the bad side by side and say one outweighed the other, not really. And I'm not into playing the game of "what if." To be honest… I can't imagine doing anything else. The things I've seen, the people I've been privileged to work with…," He looked at Emmett, not the camera. "I don't regret it."
Much of Emmett's first interview with Major Carter was good material (except for when he tried to put words into her mouth, which he apologized for again), so he really only had to ask her about Janet. Sam talked about their girls' night out, and about Cassie, and about their last movie night, when they'd watched every Meg Ryan movie they could find, finally falling asleep near the end of "Joe and the Volcano" as the sun came up.
They were just about done when Sam, like Teal'c, stopped to address the camera. "In the few years the stargate has been open, our knowledge of the natural world and of physics itself has grown exponentially. In fact, I have a request in to the general right now to add another three positions to the personnel in my department. I urge everyone with interests in physics and engineering to examine even a little of what we've learned, because the results are amazing. I'm sure Daniel feels the same way about the possibilities in anthropology, archeology and linguistics.
"Traveling through the stargate is dangerous, of course. Even on worlds deemed safe we can never be sure of our safety. But even given what happened to Janet—what could happen to any of us—I firmly believe that the efforts of this command are worthwhile."
Playing devil's advocate, Emmett said, "If you're so convinced that what you're doing here is right, why not tell the public about it?"
She hedged, "That's not my call."
"But surely you must have an opinion about it," Emmett pressed.
Sam bit her lip. "I don't know. I'm glad it's not my call. I mean, sometimes you look at what's going on, here on Earth, and it makes you just want to scream. You want to tell people that it's all so much bigger than they think. But at the same time, I agree that people aren't ready to know the scope of the truth. So I'll follow my orders, and keep doing what I feel is right… and hope when the time comes, that they'll understand why the people in charge chose to keep it a secret." She offered Emmett a tentative smile, and he knew it was the best he was going to get, so he thanked her and moved on.
Daniel was working when Emmett arrived to interview him, just like the last time; but this time Daniel set aside his notebook right away. The mikes and cameras were quietly and quickly set up.
Eventually Emmett broke the silence. "I guess I should thank you for letting me use the video from the security camera." Daniel shrugged noncommittally. Emmett said, "I don't suppose you could tell me how it happened, in your own words."
Another shrug, but this time Daniel answered. "We were covering each other, trading off. I'd cover Janet while she ran ahead, then she'd scout the next stretch and I'd run on past her. It could have just as easily been me. If the shot had been a foot different in any direction, or five seconds later… she might still be alive." He looked at Emmett for the first time, then at the camera. Emmett wanted to ask him so many things—if he felt responsible for what happened, though he clearly wasn't, or if Daniel wished he'd died in Janet's place—but didn't dare.
So he went into the questions he'd wanted to ask during the first interview. This time Daniel was much more cooperative, though the muted pain in his eyes was always present. Emmett decided on the spot that he'd find some way to include the bit of Daniel leading him a fruitless chase through the halls; if nothing else, to see the man's more light-hearted scene. And Daniel's response to the "Should the public be told about the stargate?" question was indeed similar to Sam's.
They were just finishing up when there was a loud rap on the door, and without waiting for an answer Jack O'Neill sauntered into the small office, closely followed by Sam and Teal'c. "Oh, I'm sorry, are you not done?" O'Neill asked, each word dripping insincerity.
"Just about," Emmett said, glancing at James. The camera kept rolling.
"Great, then. Daniel, suppertime!" O'Neill sing-songed. He smirked at the camera. "These academic types, I tell you. I swear he wouldn't eat at all if we didn't nag him into it." Daniel rolled his eyes, but his expression was more fond than exasperated, and Emmett didn't miss the quick, concerned glances Daniel's team gave him when they thought he wasn't looking. Daniel offered Emmett a quick smile that was very nearly genuine and followed his team away.
Emmett interviewed others, of course. He spoke again to Cassie, going again over the morning of the day Janet died, and lightly touching on the culture shock of living on a planet different from her birth. General Hammond spoke from the heart about the difficulty he had sending the people under his command into danger and the hard decisions he frequently had to make. Emmett had enough interviews for an epic miniseries, and so much of it was so good he had no idea how he would cut it down. And in the end, he was allowed to film SG-4's departure on a mission. The clang of the chevrons and the splash of the blue wormhole was something Emmett felt sure he would never forget.
Emmett had found a picture of a young Samantha Carter, a tousled blond grinning at the camera, front teeth missing and a Band-Aid on one knee, and one of Mr. Daniel Jackson, still a graduate student, lecturing in an intro. to archeology class, an odd blend of clumsiness and confidence. One index finger was raised as he made a point, light reflecting off his glasses.
He had a snapshot of a teenage Jack O'Neill leaning against a yellow Mustang, smiling sardonically at the camera. Of course, he had no picture for Teal'c. There was the black and white photo of George Hammond painting the ladder of a treehouse, white paint smudged on one arm. He looked to be about eight. There was Janet Frasier in a shot Emmett could still hardly believe he'd found, with her seriously holding a toy stethoscope to her father's chest, lips pursed with concentration.
The photo idea had been good, and the people at the SGC had done amazingly well finding childhood yearbooks and candid shots. Emmett inserted them in to the start of his interviews. It would further humanize the soldiers; Emmett wanted a drama with characters the eventual audience would empathize with. Flipping another photo, he thought that the science team must have worked together to find similar pictures, because they'd all found the obligatory pictures of themselves as toddlers with food smeared all over their faces; for Dr. Lee it was spaghetti—for Dr. Meyers it was chocolate pudding.
So many pictures; Sergeant Harriman giving his sister bunny ears with a wicked grin; Cassie on the swings at a local park; and Colonel Rondell, God rest his soul, looking earnest in his boy scout uniform. Even Senator Kinsey was represented; one of his aids had brought Emmett a picture of the senator at age twelve or so, flying a kite. Colonel Dixon's face was obscured by a large balloon of bubble gum. Finally there was the Wells family, a Polaroid with words written in blue ink on the bottom tag space; Simon, Marci, baby Janet—March '04.
Epilogue
Since his trip to Stargate Command, Emmett found himself stargazing more often; wondering who was out there right at that moment, and what had happened since his departure. He felt pretty good about the film overall. In the end he'd decided he didn't want to tell his audience that the secrecy was right or wrong, just introduce the people of the SGC in a way that showed their courage without getting too sentimental. He'd received a complimentary note from the President; at the moment it was sitting in his sock drawer, next to Kathy's obituary.
From the door his buddy Frank said, "Well, look who's back."
"I hope you brought beer," Emmett said.
"Yeah. And Jenna's got a pizza."
"Hey Emmett," Jenna said from behind her husband. "So the big secret project is done?"
Emmett raised his eyebrows at the not very subtle fishing for information. "Nice try. But I have no desire to experience the consequences of breaking my contract."
"We've just been worried," Jenna said. "You know how we feel about government secrecy."
Emmett asked dryly, "And what does the great William Proxmire have to say on the topic?" Frank and Jenna were friends with the former Wisconsin senator and Frank had an irritating tendency to quote the man's words as gospel.
"As a matter of fact," Frank said, "he's quoted as saying, "Power always has to be kept in check; power exercised in secret, especially under the cloak of national security, is doubly dangerous."
"Who said anything about National Security?" Emmett asked. But his friends still looked worried, so he said, "That actually is a sentiment I tend to agree with. But we don't have to worry about this… thing. Trust me on this one." His friends exchanged a glance and then subsided, and Emmett headed for the kitchen to get a bottle-opener for the beer. And if he glanced once more through the picture window at the night sky—well, no one would ever know but him.
(William Proxmire is indeed a former Wisconsin senator who said what he's quoted as saying. I do not actually know him or anything though).
My apologies for any stupid typos; I try to self-edit, but I'm taking some cold medicine that's making me very sleepy. : )
My thanks to everyone who reviewed (especially you folks who reviewed practically every chapter!). Even the short reviews meant a lot to me (smiles). This story was a very nice intro. to and I'll definitely be posting here again. Take care everyone.