I don't care if you won't love me back...
Because I know that your heart is for someone else better than me...
I don't care if you would hurt me a thousand times...
Because you have cried a thousand tears already...
I don't care if we're not meant to be together...
Because I would always love you forever...
And I'm always here to accept you just the way you are and nothing would ever matter...
Part Seven:
Acceptance
Damn it. I told that bastard not to tell a soul.
Shit.
What now?
The former Uchiha fangirl had said it already. I guess... I have to go through with it.
I stepped out from my hiding place—which is unexpectedly behind the wall and lit a cigarette just as Asuma-sensei would if he was in my place right now.
Astounded eyes were staring at me as I walked towards them—particularly Ino.
"My plan backfired. Thanks to your troublesome mouth, Sakura." I said in boredom and puffed out a thin air of smoke. In times like this, all I could do is to keep my cool, go with the flow and of course—my cigarette that comes in handy.
"Heh... I thought so..." Sakura glared at me and folded her arms sarcastically giving me that 'You-could-never-trick-me-you-lazy-ass' look.
Not bad.
Not bad for the Hokage-sama's girlfriend.
"So..." I shrugged my shoulders and leaned against the wall. "That dumb-witted hokage didn't follow my instructions, huh? He seems to like the idea of his ass being shaved." I glanced at Ino who was still absent-mindedly looking at me. Now don't I just hate it when she gives me that kind of look?
Hinata let out a cough and said to Tenten, "Ano... I think we should leave these two for a while."
Tenten nodded and glanced back at Sakura. "Sakura, are you coming?"
"Aa..." Then the three Chuunins went outside and left the two of us alone—all alone.
Now how on earth could I ever start a conversation with her? A casual one, I'd say.
I sat on the settee and gestured for her to do the same. She obeyed without any protest but still giving me that 'What-the-hell-is-going-on' look.
Putting off my cigarette, I took out another one from my pocket and lit it. As I've said earlier, smoking is something that can ease off my nervousness—especially when I'm near her.
"Don't you dare take that shit inside your mouth or I'm going to skin your ass off..."
I stopped.
Petrified.
Froze.
Did she just say some... informal words to me?
"D-did you say something?" I asked just to be sure.
She took the cigarette out of my hand and put it off on the ashtray. "You're not as dumb as Hokage-sama for tolerating this smoking habit now that you know about this sickness of yours. Tsk, tsk. I'm really going to make Asuma-sensei spend a night with Anko-san for this..."
Now isn't she just the most wonderful troublesome creature on earth?
"Don't talk as if you're my wife, Ino." I said bluntly and glared at her.
Again, the sarcastic and arrogant face filled my view as her arms bend upon her hips. "Hmp! Don't talk as if I'm not! I came all the way here from Konoha just to see you, you lazy bum! Now don't you dare give me that crap Nara Shikamaru because I care about you and your health!!!"
No. I haven't heard that. It's not what I think it is.
This is so unreal. Ino cares about me? Oh please...
"Tell me, Ino." I stood up and grip her from the waist making her face an inch closer to mine. If only I could make myself laugh and make fun of her seeing that so much confusion, tension and anxiety well-evident in her eyes
She cleared off her throat and tried to act brave. "What is it that you want me to tell you?"
If I were the old Shikamaru, I would fall for that puppy-dog eyes and the oh-so cute face that could make Orochimaru give her a candy. If I were the same as before, I would hug her tight and say how much I miss her and let things go as if nothing happened.
But even so...
"I'm not stupid, Ino—and don't make me look like one. Just tell me why you have come back. I don't care what troublesome reasons you have and what silly lies you're going to tell me... Just..."
Damn. My heart is hurting again.
I don't want to make her see how weak I am right now.
I...
Ugh...
Clutching my hand, I gripped the hurting area of my chest and tried to get some air. If only I could stop this, I could finish off my goddamn sentence!
"S-Shika!!!!" I heard her shout followed by running footsteps.
My sight is getting blur and my knees are already weakening. I feel so vulnerable and my heart is so painful. It was as if a monster is pulling my heart off its chambers. I just... want to go.
God, don't let her see me like this.
She'll just pity me and make a fool out of me. And heaven knows I don't want that...
I just want to be strong but all I could do...
...is to act strong...
And right after this moment, I fell into the deep world of darkness.
Ino...? Is that her with her dad?
Wait. Why is she looking at me? And why does she look like a six-year old child? This reminds me of my childhood days...
"I don't like him, Papa! He looks awful!" she blurted out.
Wench. I look awful? Look who's talking...
"Ino! You should make friends with him. Me and his Papa are very good friends so you two should get along. Besides, you still don't know him that much so don't judge him by his looks. Now go, say Sorry to Shikamaru."
Yeah, you tell him dad. I mean...Inoshi-san.
"B-B-But Papa!!! He's sooooooo weird! Look at him! He's staring at the clouds and not even moving or making any noise!!!"
I followed at where the young Ino was pointing at and guess what?
It ended up to a younger me.
Well... I do look like a jerk. But not that awful!
"Ino!!! What did I tell you, young lady?!!" Inoshi's authoritative voice startled the troublesome brat. Hehe... Good move.
And there she walked towards me—er—the younger me with that cute little pout on her face. I followed and hid behind a tree stomp and decidedto watch how things would develop.
"Hi there! Ano...You're Shikamaru, right?" she asked sweetly giving the younger me a friendly grin.
Now wait a minute...
I remember this scene...
"So...?"
"So..." She sat beside me and looked up into the sky as well. "So it means that... I know you!"
How could I ever forget the first time I saw a girl smile at me?
"So what if you know me...? Does it matter...?"
"Of course it does Shikamaru! It means that you're my friend! We're friends now, neh????!!! Neh??? Neh???!!"
Her face radiated in innocence and beauty as she held my hand with the smile never leaving her face. So that's why I remembered this...
This moment...
Wherein I first had this feeling of acceptance...
And I loved it.
Rain.
Rain is falling down on my face. But wait...
No. This is tears. From whom?
Opening my eyes, strands of blonde hair greeted my view as I felt something on top of my chest.
My hand...enclosed into someone else's hands.
"I-Ino...?" I asked weakly.
Tearful blue eyes found its way to face me as the afternoon sunset illuminated her face from my view. Now isn't this just the most beautiful scenery that I've ever seen in my whole life?
A faint smile formed on her lips and took away her hand from mine. "You've fallen asleep when we were talking down there. Fainted, I mean. So... how are you feeling?"
My eyes narrowed and I looked away from her face. It just makes me want to show off all my feelings to her.
And it's definitely my weakness that I don't want her to see.
"I'm fine. You can go home now. I can handle my self."
Silence filled the four corners of the room as a particular scent came inside me.
The smell of peach blossoms. And definitely—it's her.
Yeah, it's stupid. I've always known that.
"W-Why are you so cold now, Shika? I know I've hurt you. I know I've made you feel so bad. But... I'm here now. I could make up for my mistake. I could... make things back to where it was..."
"In just three weeks?"
"Yeah... even for just three weeks."
I let out a deep breath and faced her. "It's no use, Ino. My days are numbered and I'm going to die after that three weeks. When I kidnapped you and asked you to sign a contract with a one-month marriage thing, it's there already. I'm going to die within a month. And now..."
I looked back at the window and gazed at the setting sun wishing that it won't be my last time to see it. "I've only got three weeks left. It's...It's no use, Ino. It'll be all in vain. Just... just let me die. It would be a lot easier."
"Shika no Baka!!!! What makes you think that I'll allow you to die just like that?!!!"
That made me looked back at her. Only to find out that it was a big mistake.
I hate this.
But everything she had said made me realize how important she is to my limited life.
"I...I'm sorry, Shika... I... I didn't know..." she managed to say in between her sniffles.
That did it. I was just waiting for that word. For that 'S' word...
"So... to make it up for you... just let me stay... I'll try... my best to take care of you."
This time, I can't help but smile to myself.
I love this woman and I would definitely hold her again...if only for a stolen moment.
But then, a thought came inside me that made me realize something.
I looked at her eyes unmindful of the enlightening sunset that gives emphasis to the ambiance. With that I asked her, "If you didn't know about this illness of mine, would you still be like this and would you still come back to me?"
I don't know why I've just said that. All I know is that...
...I want to be accepted.
Author's Notes:
Okay! That was Shikamaru's very first P.O.V! Please let me know if I did it well or not. I really need to know!!!! I'm quite uncertain about it because in the first place, I am not a man! But I did my best to make it appear manly enough...
Irukapooka:
gives u a piece of tissue Yeah I do agree with you. Angst is REALLY happy! Thanks for the support!!!!
Kawaii34girl:
Is it really cute? blushes Thank you!!!!!!! Anyways, I'm really going to update this as soon as I can! Thanks again!!!
Narutogirl:
Ino is really having a change of heart and thanks for loving the story!!!!! I love my story, too!!!!! Thank you!!!
Kali Swifteye:
Ouch... XD
Crimson Flare:
Whew... You got me scared there for a minute! But anyways, thanks for the very kind review! I almost thought that it was a flame review but thank goodness it wasn't. I'm glad you enjoyed the story! Thanks!!!
HikaruOfArrow:
Awesome review!!!! XD Kip in touch!!!
Daemon Avatar:
I hope I spelled it correctly. Thanks for enjoying the story!
Well, to the readers and other reviewers, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
Peace out!!!!!!!!!