I had my son and went straight to the airport. This wasn't just a mental vacation. I needed the time off so I could heal, physically. The fight took it's toll on me, and the car accident. I got strange looks on the plane. My face was busted up and I looked like hell. I couldn't do anything about it.
When we landed, I could see the bright Florida sun shine in through the windows on the plane. Matthew was smiling and reaching for the outside. I picked him up and carried him off the plane and got our things. I rented a big enough car for the two of us and followed the directions given to me by Jay. I didn't get totally lost. Living in New York, the way I lived, and being on the road so long, you get a feel for directions.
I pulled into his driveway, parking behind his car. Jessica, Chris's wife, was getting the mail outside when I got out. She looked at me, for a little, then smiled. I had only met her a few times before. She waved and walked over.
"Destiny, what are you doing here?" She asked. "I never thought I'd see you here."
"Jay's letting me stay for a while." I answered.
"Sweet boy, that Jay. Surprises me he's still single." She smiled again. "We've been watching. My God, darling, have you been busy."
"I have. Chris enjoying his vacation?"
"Yes, he is." She answered. "Almost up, but he's doing good. He's out right now. He should be back soon."
"Good, have a few things to talk to him about. I'm going to be here for a while so we have to work some things out." I said.
"He should be back in a half hour. I'll send him over. Or, better yet. You come over for dinner. What do you say?"
"All right. I have to get settled, find my way around Jay's house."
I carried all of mine and Matt's bags in and figured out where I was going to sleep. I settled in best I could and then walked next door to see Chris and Jessica. Matthew in arms, I knocked on their door. Jessica answered. She told me she didn't tell Chris that I was here.
"Sweetheart, why don't you come in here." Jessica called. Chris got up and walked into the room.
"Oh, my, Destiny." He hugged me. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Chilling out." I answered.
"I could see why. I've been watching." He said. "Seems like you got yourself into a lot of trouble."
"If you only knew." I replied. "I tell you all about it."
I sat Chris down and told him everything. Why I showed up on RAW and said what I did. What happened on Smackdown. The fight, and my status with Matt. He seemed surprised about it. Like, he didn't think it would happen. But, also believed it would. I went into great detail about what happened. I told him everything the best I could. Why I showed up on RAW, why Smackdown was such a big deal, and why Matt and I aren't going to be Matt and I very long. He seemed the most surprised, and the least surprised, about the Matt thing. So, I went into that.
"Destiny, if you don't mind me saying anything." Chris said. "But, why bother? Why start in the first place? You two fight like siblings, you act like siblings, you are siblings. For better or for worse. Why try?"
"I didn't know anything else. My son was my first priority. And, that seemed right." I answered.
And, that it did. We weren't thinking. After the Matt discussion, I talked about why I was here. What really happened on RAW, and what really happened on Smackdown. I told him about the fight, and why I was here in Florida and not on the road with the World Wrestling Federation. Chris had fear in his eyes, and wondered why I didn't do more damage to Amy and why I hadn't had more done to me. I explained, fully, why I did that.
"If it was any other time, I know I wouldn't have reacted the way I did. But, I was just so emotionally fucked up, that I had to react that way. Anything could have set me off, but she went over board." I told him. "And, I bet it was part of her plan, push my buttons make me get hot so I'd react in that way."
"If she had that in mind, then she would have had to of known she'd get in trouble for it too." Chris said.
"I don't know then. All I know is, I'm here on a month without pay because of her. Ya know, the money doesn't even bother me. I don't care about that. I care about the fact that Vince McMahon cannot see what's going on in his business. He can't see that he's got two women that will think nothing of killing the other. But, he still pushes it and makes it nearly impossible to get a break from it."
"Seeing it, somewhat, from his point of view, the thing you two have is bigger than anything he's had before. You make him money. And, Vince likes money. But, if he doesn't shape up, something will happen, something bad will come out of that."
"In the words of Mick Foley, 'J.J. Fucking Dollar'." I said.
I hadn't spoke of the car accident yet, and didn't plan on to. I wanted to keep that out of mind as much as possible, and I had no intentions on telling anyone that didn't know. But, Chris had led into it, and I blurted it out.
"But seriously, if he doesn't know shape up, something bad will come out of it."
"Yeah, like a car accident." I said.
"Who got in one?"
"I did."
"How?" Jessica asked.
"Anger, frustration. I wrapped the car around a pole." I answered.
I told them what happened, to the best of my knowledge. So, in about an hour and a half, I explained the past three days in the greatest detail I have ever used in my life. Chris told me that he wanted me to get the most rest I could this month. He said that while he was here, he'd take care of me.
I knew that being away would be good for me, but I also knew I would go crazy without the WWF. I was in a bit of a pickle, but knew it was best for me, physically and mentally if I just stayed put. I had worked myself into a frenzy. I was doing things without thinking, and was now paying the price for them. Something I had been doing my whole life, WWF career, and will continue to do.
"Sweetheart, I'm glad you got down here when you did." Jessica told me. "I knew that Amy girl was bad news, I knew it."
"Hun, if you only knew." Chris told her. Chris also said that he wanted to show me around and that we'd be going on a walk. Jessica smiled, and said that was a good idea and she would wait for us.
"Destiny, you're running thin. You're wearing out the company. But, you're doing it in self-defense. Which, makes it worse for you." He told me. "You're right, there is no way Vince is helping the situation by booking these matches. And, no matter how much he's changed in the past years, the fact that he's still got a cold spot will always remain. There's no doubt. What you have to do is shove it in his face, and not physically, mentally. Show him what he's doing isn't doing shit for you."
"But, like you said, Vince cares about money. And, as much as I'd hate to say it, we make a lot of money. Amy and I, we make a lot, and it keeps our paychecks heavy. And, that's a good thing. But is this really the price to pay to make so much? I'll happily give it all up just so I could go through one day without having to worry about what Amy's going to do next." I said. "And, I've tried talking to Vince, and nothing works."
"Well, I'll go in there and say a few things. And, you know what, I'm sure many all ready are." He told me.
"I know."
It felt good to know that Chris would fight for me. I was using my soldiers in the a war for creative insight and moral differences. But, it bothered me to know that I wouldn't be on the front line, since I was the one to fire first in self-defense.
"You just have no idea how it feels to be sitting here knowing that something is going on back with the WWF that I can't control, and I know I am involved in it." I said. "Vince has got creative control over me and my character, and I can't do a damn thing about it. I can only come to him with ideas, but I can't take over the complete character."
"If all of us go to him, I'm sure he'll let up." He said. "But, right now, it's not something you should be thinking about. Think about resting up. You have been through too much too fast. You're body will thank you for the break."
"I know."
"Just promise me when you get back in the game, you'll be more careful."
"I can't promise that." I said. "But I can promise I won't go looking for a fight."
"I guess I can take what I can get." Chris replied.
And that was that. Chris did take what he could get, and that was my promise. Chris talked to me about what I should do when I get back. How I should just not speak of what happened, and try not to run into Amy or Kurt as much as I could. I told him I'd do just that, but couldn't guarantee they wouldn't be looking for me. In fact, I told him it was a Goddamned given that they'd find me when Amy and I returned.
When we got back, Jessica was sitting on the floor playing with my son. She got up when we came in. Chris said he was going to set up a barbecue. I sat down with Jessica and watched my baby crawl and walk around.
"I wonder how you do it." She told me. "I wonder."
"What? Him? Day by day. I'm thankful that I've got so many people around me to help me. So many people that would give their left arm for me. I don't know how I could ever repay any of them. They've done so much for me. No one has to do this for me, no one has to be this damn nice."
"It's love, sweetheart. These guys love you. And, I don't mean I'm going to marry you love, I mean love like a brother loves a sister, like a friend loves a friend." Jessica replied. "I do, however, have an idea on how you could make their lives easier." I looked at her. "Stop getting into so much trouble."
"I'm trying, really hard. But, it's not so easy."
"Hunny, you have got to ignore her. Let her do everything and she'll be the one who gets in trouble for it. Show her she means nothing to you."
"I know. And, this past week has been such a spur of the moment thing. And, that's me, ya know. Live for the moment, don't worry about tomorrow. I'm doing this for today. I never thought about tomorrow and what it could hold. And, this week has really shown that. Shown what I can do when I get hot. That fight in the locker room, my words on Smackdown, all of it was spur of the moment."
"I know you've got that to uphold, and that you've come to adapt that style, but when it comes to this, you have to think. It's your job at steak, your life." She told me. "If people were meant to be so spur of the moment all the time, things like this would happen all the time, no one would care if you said anything. But, they do care. And you need to stop jumping into things."
Of all the people to talk to me, Jessica made the most sense. She was pleading with me, but also being strong and stern with me. I knew what I had to do, and did try. But, I couldn't leave my live for the moment frame of mind completely behind me.
I hung around pretty late with Jessica and Chris. We talked, had a couple of beers, and generally had a good time. We didn't talk again about why I was here, but talked about what Chris and I would do when I got back. And, at times didn't even talk about the business.
"When I get back, we're going to kick up what we had going for us. Forget about Amy and Kurt, forget about it all. We're going in there and taking out our competition. Do what we did before either of us left." I said.
"That's what I like to hear." Chris said with a smile. "Going in there and kicking ass." We tapped the tip of the beer bottles together. "Things are going to be better for Jericho and Destiny."
"No doubt my partner. Keep these tag belts, add to our singles success, and take out anyone who wants to try and stop us."
I smiled. At around one that morning, I carried my sleeping son back next-door. I placed him in the travel crib and changed into my pajamas. I sat in the bed and turned the light on. I sat there and read for a little. I looked around the bedroom. It wasn't Jay's room, but one of the few guest rooms. I loved what he had done to it, and almost wished this was my house. Sleep finally found me and I actually slept good for the first time in a while. I didn't care that I'd be out a month, I didn't care about Amy and Kurt, I didn't care about anything. I actually slept good, and deep.
When I woke up I felt like I had slept off years of pain and suffering. I felt ready to move on. When I'd walk into the WWF doors, I'd be focused, on my career, and nothing more. This was my career to lose. It was so easy to lose, and so hard to win. It was a huge sacrifice, with a huge gamble. And, if you can't handle what comes your way, your odds of winning are less and less. You have to step up and take responsibility, you have to own up to your mistakes. And, you have to know when enough is enough. That is my problem.
I walked downstairs and saw the two belts on the couch. Then, an idea dawned on me. Why keep singles gold? Why not build the tag team of Destiny and Chris Jericho more? Make the tag gold the most important. I wanted to drop the belt. I held it enough, long enough and I was ready to give it up for a while. Even for a long while. And, I knew just who to drop it to...Amy.
Crazy? Hell yes. But, I knew I had one fight left in me. What a great way to come back. I was going to take it all out now, and never touch on it again. Well, not for a while, a long while. I figured I could come up with a great match where I'd lose to Amy. But, there could be one pothole in my brilliant plan, her bragging. I knew that this would also be a test of my will power. If I could just suck it up and deal with it.
I had come up with the perfect cage match. I figured I'd handle her pretty hard in the beginning. Make it seem like she didn't have a chance. Then, have the tables turn. She kicks my ass. Pull out all the stops. I didn't want her to hold back, and I knew she wouldn't. I also wanted her to get the win on her own, something I knew she could do. I wanted us to be on the top of the cage and for her to throw me inside the ring. But, not just some throw, something hard, something viscous. Something, I knew she would have no problem with. Then, for her to climb down the cage and take the gold.
I was very excited about my idea. So excited in fact, that I called Jay to tell him. I told him everything that was in my mind. There was a pause at the other end. "What do you think?"
"I don't know, Des, that seems pretty freaky. I mean, you're here, at my house, trying to rid yourself of Amy, and here you are, wanting to fight her again? I don't get it."
"It's the perfect way to for me to put this behind me. And, at the same time drop the Women's Title and concentrate on being a Tag Team Champion." I answered. "Look, I know it sounds crazy."
"Why not, Ivory or Molly or even Trish?" He sounded like he was pleading with me.
"Look, Jay, I know why you'd be afraid. Fear's only a four letter word, remember? Ok, I can really understand why. But, I figure this, I am going to leave this alone after this. As much as I can. She'll have that belt, it's what she wants. Something she can drag around for all it's worth. Gives me the break as well."
"Whatever you think is right, Destiny." He said. "I'm behind you, you know that."
"I just have to wait a month to tell Vince. I don't even know if he'll go for it."
"Oh, he will." Jay said. "You make him money."
"I know."
I talked with him for a little while longer and got off to get Matt. I brought him downstairs and fed him. Then, I decided to check out what was behind this beautiful house. A beach. I changed into my bathingsuit and walked down to the water. I walked past the amazing pool and hot tub and down to the waters. The water was beautiful. Blue and clear. It wasn't too cold and it wasn't too warm.
I put Matthew in his little seat and laid out in the sun. Total relaxation. I laid back and let the sun wrap it's rays around me. I had no intention on doing much. I was going to let the sun bleach everything away. I was starting my therapy for a new life, a new me.
When we landed, I could see the bright Florida sun shine in through the windows on the plane. Matthew was smiling and reaching for the outside. I picked him up and carried him off the plane and got our things. I rented a big enough car for the two of us and followed the directions given to me by Jay. I didn't get totally lost. Living in New York, the way I lived, and being on the road so long, you get a feel for directions.
I pulled into his driveway, parking behind his car. Jessica, Chris's wife, was getting the mail outside when I got out. She looked at me, for a little, then smiled. I had only met her a few times before. She waved and walked over.
"Destiny, what are you doing here?" She asked. "I never thought I'd see you here."
"Jay's letting me stay for a while." I answered.
"Sweet boy, that Jay. Surprises me he's still single." She smiled again. "We've been watching. My God, darling, have you been busy."
"I have. Chris enjoying his vacation?"
"Yes, he is." She answered. "Almost up, but he's doing good. He's out right now. He should be back soon."
"Good, have a few things to talk to him about. I'm going to be here for a while so we have to work some things out." I said.
"He should be back in a half hour. I'll send him over. Or, better yet. You come over for dinner. What do you say?"
"All right. I have to get settled, find my way around Jay's house."
I carried all of mine and Matt's bags in and figured out where I was going to sleep. I settled in best I could and then walked next door to see Chris and Jessica. Matthew in arms, I knocked on their door. Jessica answered. She told me she didn't tell Chris that I was here.
"Sweetheart, why don't you come in here." Jessica called. Chris got up and walked into the room.
"Oh, my, Destiny." He hugged me. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Chilling out." I answered.
"I could see why. I've been watching." He said. "Seems like you got yourself into a lot of trouble."
"If you only knew." I replied. "I tell you all about it."
I sat Chris down and told him everything. Why I showed up on RAW and said what I did. What happened on Smackdown. The fight, and my status with Matt. He seemed surprised about it. Like, he didn't think it would happen. But, also believed it would. I went into great detail about what happened. I told him everything the best I could. Why I showed up on RAW, why Smackdown was such a big deal, and why Matt and I aren't going to be Matt and I very long. He seemed the most surprised, and the least surprised, about the Matt thing. So, I went into that.
"Destiny, if you don't mind me saying anything." Chris said. "But, why bother? Why start in the first place? You two fight like siblings, you act like siblings, you are siblings. For better or for worse. Why try?"
"I didn't know anything else. My son was my first priority. And, that seemed right." I answered.
And, that it did. We weren't thinking. After the Matt discussion, I talked about why I was here. What really happened on RAW, and what really happened on Smackdown. I told him about the fight, and why I was here in Florida and not on the road with the World Wrestling Federation. Chris had fear in his eyes, and wondered why I didn't do more damage to Amy and why I hadn't had more done to me. I explained, fully, why I did that.
"If it was any other time, I know I wouldn't have reacted the way I did. But, I was just so emotionally fucked up, that I had to react that way. Anything could have set me off, but she went over board." I told him. "And, I bet it was part of her plan, push my buttons make me get hot so I'd react in that way."
"If she had that in mind, then she would have had to of known she'd get in trouble for it too." Chris said.
"I don't know then. All I know is, I'm here on a month without pay because of her. Ya know, the money doesn't even bother me. I don't care about that. I care about the fact that Vince McMahon cannot see what's going on in his business. He can't see that he's got two women that will think nothing of killing the other. But, he still pushes it and makes it nearly impossible to get a break from it."
"Seeing it, somewhat, from his point of view, the thing you two have is bigger than anything he's had before. You make him money. And, Vince likes money. But, if he doesn't shape up, something will happen, something bad will come out of that."
"In the words of Mick Foley, 'J.J. Fucking Dollar'." I said.
I hadn't spoke of the car accident yet, and didn't plan on to. I wanted to keep that out of mind as much as possible, and I had no intentions on telling anyone that didn't know. But, Chris had led into it, and I blurted it out.
"But seriously, if he doesn't know shape up, something bad will come out of it."
"Yeah, like a car accident." I said.
"Who got in one?"
"I did."
"How?" Jessica asked.
"Anger, frustration. I wrapped the car around a pole." I answered.
I told them what happened, to the best of my knowledge. So, in about an hour and a half, I explained the past three days in the greatest detail I have ever used in my life. Chris told me that he wanted me to get the most rest I could this month. He said that while he was here, he'd take care of me.
I knew that being away would be good for me, but I also knew I would go crazy without the WWF. I was in a bit of a pickle, but knew it was best for me, physically and mentally if I just stayed put. I had worked myself into a frenzy. I was doing things without thinking, and was now paying the price for them. Something I had been doing my whole life, WWF career, and will continue to do.
"Sweetheart, I'm glad you got down here when you did." Jessica told me. "I knew that Amy girl was bad news, I knew it."
"Hun, if you only knew." Chris told her. Chris also said that he wanted to show me around and that we'd be going on a walk. Jessica smiled, and said that was a good idea and she would wait for us.
"Destiny, you're running thin. You're wearing out the company. But, you're doing it in self-defense. Which, makes it worse for you." He told me. "You're right, there is no way Vince is helping the situation by booking these matches. And, no matter how much he's changed in the past years, the fact that he's still got a cold spot will always remain. There's no doubt. What you have to do is shove it in his face, and not physically, mentally. Show him what he's doing isn't doing shit for you."
"But, like you said, Vince cares about money. And, as much as I'd hate to say it, we make a lot of money. Amy and I, we make a lot, and it keeps our paychecks heavy. And, that's a good thing. But is this really the price to pay to make so much? I'll happily give it all up just so I could go through one day without having to worry about what Amy's going to do next." I said. "And, I've tried talking to Vince, and nothing works."
"Well, I'll go in there and say a few things. And, you know what, I'm sure many all ready are." He told me.
"I know."
It felt good to know that Chris would fight for me. I was using my soldiers in the a war for creative insight and moral differences. But, it bothered me to know that I wouldn't be on the front line, since I was the one to fire first in self-defense.
"You just have no idea how it feels to be sitting here knowing that something is going on back with the WWF that I can't control, and I know I am involved in it." I said. "Vince has got creative control over me and my character, and I can't do a damn thing about it. I can only come to him with ideas, but I can't take over the complete character."
"If all of us go to him, I'm sure he'll let up." He said. "But, right now, it's not something you should be thinking about. Think about resting up. You have been through too much too fast. You're body will thank you for the break."
"I know."
"Just promise me when you get back in the game, you'll be more careful."
"I can't promise that." I said. "But I can promise I won't go looking for a fight."
"I guess I can take what I can get." Chris replied.
And that was that. Chris did take what he could get, and that was my promise. Chris talked to me about what I should do when I get back. How I should just not speak of what happened, and try not to run into Amy or Kurt as much as I could. I told him I'd do just that, but couldn't guarantee they wouldn't be looking for me. In fact, I told him it was a Goddamned given that they'd find me when Amy and I returned.
When we got back, Jessica was sitting on the floor playing with my son. She got up when we came in. Chris said he was going to set up a barbecue. I sat down with Jessica and watched my baby crawl and walk around.
"I wonder how you do it." She told me. "I wonder."
"What? Him? Day by day. I'm thankful that I've got so many people around me to help me. So many people that would give their left arm for me. I don't know how I could ever repay any of them. They've done so much for me. No one has to do this for me, no one has to be this damn nice."
"It's love, sweetheart. These guys love you. And, I don't mean I'm going to marry you love, I mean love like a brother loves a sister, like a friend loves a friend." Jessica replied. "I do, however, have an idea on how you could make their lives easier." I looked at her. "Stop getting into so much trouble."
"I'm trying, really hard. But, it's not so easy."
"Hunny, you have got to ignore her. Let her do everything and she'll be the one who gets in trouble for it. Show her she means nothing to you."
"I know. And, this past week has been such a spur of the moment thing. And, that's me, ya know. Live for the moment, don't worry about tomorrow. I'm doing this for today. I never thought about tomorrow and what it could hold. And, this week has really shown that. Shown what I can do when I get hot. That fight in the locker room, my words on Smackdown, all of it was spur of the moment."
"I know you've got that to uphold, and that you've come to adapt that style, but when it comes to this, you have to think. It's your job at steak, your life." She told me. "If people were meant to be so spur of the moment all the time, things like this would happen all the time, no one would care if you said anything. But, they do care. And you need to stop jumping into things."
Of all the people to talk to me, Jessica made the most sense. She was pleading with me, but also being strong and stern with me. I knew what I had to do, and did try. But, I couldn't leave my live for the moment frame of mind completely behind me.
I hung around pretty late with Jessica and Chris. We talked, had a couple of beers, and generally had a good time. We didn't talk again about why I was here, but talked about what Chris and I would do when I got back. And, at times didn't even talk about the business.
"When I get back, we're going to kick up what we had going for us. Forget about Amy and Kurt, forget about it all. We're going in there and taking out our competition. Do what we did before either of us left." I said.
"That's what I like to hear." Chris said with a smile. "Going in there and kicking ass." We tapped the tip of the beer bottles together. "Things are going to be better for Jericho and Destiny."
"No doubt my partner. Keep these tag belts, add to our singles success, and take out anyone who wants to try and stop us."
I smiled. At around one that morning, I carried my sleeping son back next-door. I placed him in the travel crib and changed into my pajamas. I sat in the bed and turned the light on. I sat there and read for a little. I looked around the bedroom. It wasn't Jay's room, but one of the few guest rooms. I loved what he had done to it, and almost wished this was my house. Sleep finally found me and I actually slept good for the first time in a while. I didn't care that I'd be out a month, I didn't care about Amy and Kurt, I didn't care about anything. I actually slept good, and deep.
When I woke up I felt like I had slept off years of pain and suffering. I felt ready to move on. When I'd walk into the WWF doors, I'd be focused, on my career, and nothing more. This was my career to lose. It was so easy to lose, and so hard to win. It was a huge sacrifice, with a huge gamble. And, if you can't handle what comes your way, your odds of winning are less and less. You have to step up and take responsibility, you have to own up to your mistakes. And, you have to know when enough is enough. That is my problem.
I walked downstairs and saw the two belts on the couch. Then, an idea dawned on me. Why keep singles gold? Why not build the tag team of Destiny and Chris Jericho more? Make the tag gold the most important. I wanted to drop the belt. I held it enough, long enough and I was ready to give it up for a while. Even for a long while. And, I knew just who to drop it to...Amy.
Crazy? Hell yes. But, I knew I had one fight left in me. What a great way to come back. I was going to take it all out now, and never touch on it again. Well, not for a while, a long while. I figured I could come up with a great match where I'd lose to Amy. But, there could be one pothole in my brilliant plan, her bragging. I knew that this would also be a test of my will power. If I could just suck it up and deal with it.
I had come up with the perfect cage match. I figured I'd handle her pretty hard in the beginning. Make it seem like she didn't have a chance. Then, have the tables turn. She kicks my ass. Pull out all the stops. I didn't want her to hold back, and I knew she wouldn't. I also wanted her to get the win on her own, something I knew she could do. I wanted us to be on the top of the cage and for her to throw me inside the ring. But, not just some throw, something hard, something viscous. Something, I knew she would have no problem with. Then, for her to climb down the cage and take the gold.
I was very excited about my idea. So excited in fact, that I called Jay to tell him. I told him everything that was in my mind. There was a pause at the other end. "What do you think?"
"I don't know, Des, that seems pretty freaky. I mean, you're here, at my house, trying to rid yourself of Amy, and here you are, wanting to fight her again? I don't get it."
"It's the perfect way to for me to put this behind me. And, at the same time drop the Women's Title and concentrate on being a Tag Team Champion." I answered. "Look, I know it sounds crazy."
"Why not, Ivory or Molly or even Trish?" He sounded like he was pleading with me.
"Look, Jay, I know why you'd be afraid. Fear's only a four letter word, remember? Ok, I can really understand why. But, I figure this, I am going to leave this alone after this. As much as I can. She'll have that belt, it's what she wants. Something she can drag around for all it's worth. Gives me the break as well."
"Whatever you think is right, Destiny." He said. "I'm behind you, you know that."
"I just have to wait a month to tell Vince. I don't even know if he'll go for it."
"Oh, he will." Jay said. "You make him money."
"I know."
I talked with him for a little while longer and got off to get Matt. I brought him downstairs and fed him. Then, I decided to check out what was behind this beautiful house. A beach. I changed into my bathingsuit and walked down to the water. I walked past the amazing pool and hot tub and down to the waters. The water was beautiful. Blue and clear. It wasn't too cold and it wasn't too warm.
I put Matthew in his little seat and laid out in the sun. Total relaxation. I laid back and let the sun wrap it's rays around me. I had no intention on doing much. I was going to let the sun bleach everything away. I was starting my therapy for a new life, a new me.