Chapter 10: Heart of Gold

Lyude returned to the palace immediately and began punching in the order for the medicine on a hand held system he had been issued to continue swift communications with the empire. He was dismayed when the order was denied at the central communications and insisted that the order reach Anuenue. That it was a matter of great importance for relations between their two countries. The reply was grudging but the order was sent.

Lyude sighed. He would be hearing about that one from his superiors. He received the order confirmation about an hour later. One thing he could say for his country, they were an organized sort. It was an estimated two days for delivery thanks to the Empire's good relations with Anuenue. Lyude decided to return to Nashira and inform Katrina of the situation, perhaps it would dissipate her worries a little. When he arrived back in Nashira it was beginning to rain. By the time he had reached the path to the fish storage, it was pouring, and his clothes were swiftly becoming drenched. Katrina noticed him heading for shelter at Anna's and ushered him inside the house.

Lyude was dripping as he entered the home. The old lady that lived adjacent to Katrina and her grandfather looked up as Katrina ushered Lyude through the door. "Good day, Sir Lyude." she said.

"Yeah, hi Lyude." said Shorty. "Ha ha, you're a mess."

" I suppose I am, aren't I?" said Lyude with a smile. "Greetings to you both. How is your grandfather, Katrina? Has he regained consciousness yet?"

"He did for a few moments. I'm so worried, Sir Lyude."

"Try not to worry, I'm working on getting the medicine here. I've already received confirmation of the order. It will be here soon, you have my word.

"I hope so...Sir Lyude, I really can't thank you enough for this."

Lyude smoothed a few drenched locks of hair back from his face and smiled. "There's no need to thank me. I'm glad that I'm able to do more than just stroll around the country. It makes my position seem a bit worth while."

"You must be cold. Here, have a seat in my home." said Katrina.

Lyude followed Katrina to her half of the home and seated himself at the table. Katrina handed him a towel to dry himself as best he could and placed a blanket over his shoulders. Thank you." he said accepting some hot tea Katrina had just taken off the fire.

"It's the least I can do. After the way my grandfather has treated you..."

"Don't worry about it. You don't owe me anything. I'm glad to do it. Really."

"What's he doing here?"came a growl from behind him. "Get out of my house, Imperial!"

Lyude whirled around to see Katrina's grandfather trying to stand up. He rose from his chair as the old man got himself upright and stumbled. Lyude lunged forward and caught him before he hit the floor. "GET YOUR FILTHY IMPERIAL HANDS OFF ME!"

"Please calm yourself, sir. You're in no condition to be chasing anyone out. I'll leave, but please, for your granddaughter's sake, don't strain yourself."

"You have no right..."

"Grandfather! Sir Lyude is just trying to help. He carried you to your bed after you collapsed and sent for the doctor."

Rolf swore. "We can't afford a doctor!"

Lyude took advantage of the old man's distraction to lift him back onto the bed. The old man slumped back, his fever burning in his brow. Too exhausted to argue as Lyude straightened him on the bed.

"Who do you think you are, anyway?" the old man wheezed weakly.

Lyude paused and closed his eyes a moment. A good question. He didn't know the answer himself. What was his true purpose here? The king had asked him to stay through kindness, not faith that he could make a difference. Lyude realized that no matter what the king may have said to the contrary.

Lyude turned to Katrina. "I should go." he said. "Your grandfather needs rest, and my presence upsets him. I'll check in with you tomorrow and update you on the progress of the medicine he

needs."

"I don't need or want any help from you." spat the old man weakly.

Lyude glanced at the old man with sadness in his eyes. Rolf sounded very weak, though he was just as sharp tongued as ever.

"Really, grandfather, must you be so cold?" scolded Katrina.

"Imperials don't deserve respect." seethed Rolf.

"I'll keep you updated." said Lyude. "Good evening to you."

"Good evening, Sir Lyude." said Katrina quietly as Lyude stepped back out into the rain. Lyude walked his way slowly down the cloud passage through the driving rain. The old man's question buzzing in his head. The past several months had been difficult, but he had made progress with the people. He sighed, there was still a long way to go, and he despaired at ever earning Rolf's trust. Nonetheless, he would not allow that to stop him from helping the old man.

This is what he had become. An outcast with privilege. No matter how long he remained, no matter what he did, he would always be met with mistrust and malice. It was the burden of his stature. He adjusted his collar and felt the military pips under his fingertips. Far fewer than what had once adorned it. A constant reminder of his disgrace to his people. Of the shame he had brought his family.

"Why Alfard... why can I not belong to you? What have I done so wrong?" His tears mingled with the rain, he missed Almarde as if he were missing a part of his own heart. He had received a few letters, but in them, he could feel Almarde's own sorrows. Six months. It had been the longest they had ever been separated, and he felt the emptiness of her absence.

He forced his tears back. Seeing Katrina, so worried and caring for her grandfather made him think of Almarde all the more. He couldn't bear the thought of the girl suffering that permanent separation if he could help it. He may never see Almarde again, but that did not have to be Katrina's fate with her grandfather. At least Lyude knew that Almarde was well and safe in Mintaka. Katrina was being forced to watch her grandfather wither and fade. Lyude could think of no greater agony and his heart went out to her.

When he reached the palace it was growing naturally dark and he was chilled to the bone. "What are you doing, Lyude? Trying to catch your death of cold?" asked Matthias as he met him at the door.

"No, no. I just found myself caught in the middle of the storm. It was clear and warm when I set out." said Lyude with a sigh.

"Is something bothering you, Lyude? You've got that same distant look in your eye you did when you first came here. I haven't seen that in a while."

Lyude smiled sadly. "I'm fine. Just a little distracted, I suppose."

"Well, if you want to talk, you know where to find me." said Matthias.

"I do." said Lyude. "Thank you, Matthias. You're a good friend."

"Well, so are you, as it happens. I mean it, if you want to talk..."

"I'm fine. Good night, Matthias."

Matthias sighed, "Good night."

Lyude went to his room and changed out of his wet clothes and dried them with a select magnus in his deck.. He felt chilled and exhausted. It had been a long day, and his mood was poor. He lay down and drifted into a disturbed, dream filled sleep.

The following day was much the same as the first he checked in with Katrina and helped her in a few tasks, but Rolf never woke. He was getting worse. The old man's skin was pale and translucent, and he was drenched in cold sweat. It was all Katrina could do to keep up with his needs and Lyude spent a lot of his time aiding her.

Lyude paid the doctor and filled out some paperwork sent via his hand held system. It was the busiest he'd been in quite a while. But it was invigorating. He forgot for a while his own problems and felt as if he were truly, in some small way, finally making a difference. At the same time, however, he knew that in the end, he was still an outsider.

He went to sleep that night with mixed feelings. And once again with troubled dreams.

When he woke the following morning he could remember little of what he had dreamt, something about a dark room and his brother and sister. Something that he felt was familiar, but couldn't place. His head ached and his eyes drooped, but he knew he needed to rise. Vaguely he heard a knock on his door, and opened his eyes. He sat up and heard the knock again. "Yes?" he said wearily.

"You okay in there? You sound awful." came Matthias' voice. "Did you get yourself sick?"

"I'm fine." said Lyude. Then his mind snapped from it's stupor as he remembered Rolf and the medicine. He quickly straightened himself up and dressed and met Matthias outside his door. "Have there been any messages for me, Matthias?" Lyude asked.

"Yes, something from Anuenue. Why are you getting communications from Anuenue?"

"I sent an order for some medicine to be imported here for one of the villagers who is very ill. Anuenue is the only place where one can acquire the medicine it requires to cure him."

"You really are getting involved with the villagers, aren't you?" said Matthias. "Wasn't that quite a bit of trouble?"

"He'll die without that medication." said Lyude. "I have to do what I can."

Matthias handed him the handheld system that was kept separate from his other belongings so that it could be monitored. Even as much as King Ladekahn liked him, he could not give Lyude his full trust. It was something that Lyude understood and respected. "Arrival by noon." said Lyude, reading the message. "Very good, I just hope it's not too late."

"That was certainly fast." said Matthias.

"Something the Empire prides itself on." said Lyude. "Efficiency. The medication is to arrive in Nashira. I must be there to receive it."

"I'll let the king know you'll be out." said Matthias.

"Thank you." said Lyude. "Matthias...?"

"Yes?"

Lyude sighed. "Never mind, it's nothing...nothing important."

"It doesn't have to be a matter of national security for you to talk to me, you know." said Matthias.

"I know." said Lyude sighing wearily. "I'm just a bit tired, I think...It's been a trying week."

"Rolf hasn't been giving you grief again, has he?" asked Matthias.

"Rolf is who I am importing the medicine for."said Lyude wearily. "He's very ill, even dying. I suppose I'm just worried what I've done won't be enough."

"Why are you so determined to help that grumpy old fossil? He hates you."

"Does that make a difference?"

"When you put it that way, I guess not." said Matthias smiling slightly. "Go on. Get out of here."

Lyude nodded with a small smile. "Thank you." he said.

On his stroll to Nashira he reflected on Rolf's condition sadly. He had not been lying to Matthias, he was concerned that his efforts would not be enough to save him...just as his efforts in Alfard had not saved the Azhans from operation sweep. He had failed his own countrymen, he couldn't bear to think that he would fail again. Not when it was truly in his power to do something about it.

He met Katrina once in Nashira and explained what was going on. It was still two hours before noon, a long wait for Katrina. Every minute was torture as she bathed her grandfather's brow and watched him slowly fading away.

The doctor had returned to check on the old man and his expression was grim. It didn't take a physician to see that the old man would not be able to hold on much longer. Lyude waited outside. There was little danger of Rolf waking and discovering his presence, but the old man was far too fragile to tolerate his presence, given the reaction that it always brought.

Lyude looked just as tired as Katrina. He was concerned about the old man, and painfully aware of the uncertainties of his own existence. The fact that though he was gaining acceptance, he would never belong. Everything was a reminder in some form or another. He had begun to adjust and accept the position offered him, but now and again, his perspective would darken and he'd be forced into the reality of things. Even with Matthias, who had become a great friend, he could not bring himself to be open. His thoughts were often too depressing, and he didn't want anyone to realize his doubts.

At noon sharp, a small, colorful ship put into dock. Lyude walked up to meet it.

"Ambassador Lyude Lyricello?" said two merchant ladies as one, their hands together in an odd sort of prayer gesture.

"Indeed, ladies. I am he."

"Very good then, the medicine you ordered. Please pay now. Lyude looked at the price and tried not to wince. He handed the women the allotted amount of gold and signed that he had received his purchase. The merchant women handed him the small package and took their leave.

Lyude hurried to Katrina's house, passing Shorty and his grandmother with a kind smile. Katrina stood anxiously when she saw him enter. "Is it here? Do you have it?"

Lyude handed the doctor the medicine and nodded. "I hope we're in time." he said.

The doctor opened the package and poured a small amount of the fine powder into a cup of green tea, which he carefully poured down the old man's throat. "He'll need this once every four hours until it's gone." said the doctor. Just make sure he rests and stays in that bed."

"Thank you, doctor." said Katrina. "Do you think it will work?"

"Your grandfather is the stubbornest person I've ever known, Katrina. I don't think he's ready to go yet, but it's all up to him now."

"I understand." she said, "Thank you."