I drove up the driveway of Matt Hardy's home, and in a way, mine too. I took Matthew out and we walked to the door. I opened it, did the alarm code and walked inside. Matthew ran to the couch and tried to get on it. I smiled and helped him up. I sat down next to him and stretched out my legs. I put him down and started walking through the house. I reached the room I used, it was next to Matthew's room and two doors down from Matt's. This was, of course, before any marriage ideas came into play. I went through everything and picked some things out that I wanted to take to Florida with me. I brought the other suitcase to the front door.
Once I got that done, I called Jay. He said he was hanging out by the pool with the guys, he said Paul was dying to talk to me, and I wanted so badly to talk to him.
"Sweetheart!" He said when he got on the phone.
"Daddy!" I yelled back.
"How are you hun?" He asked me.
"Fine, healing. Everything's going great."
"That's so good to hear. Two weeks and you'll be back. Jay knows something, what do you have planned?"
"You'll see. I heard you were fighting for me while I was gone."
"You bet your ass I was. I got to defend my baby girl. No one hurts her."
"Thank you, Paul." I told him. "I miss you all so much, I want to come back so badly."
"You'll be back soon. We miss you too. I haven't been able to talk to you. Steph wants to go out to lunch the second you come back. I think after RAW, all of us are going out for drinks and what not, and the next day, I want to take you to breakfast."
"Wow, I got a busy two days." I said. "But I love every minute of it."
Talking to Paul lifted my sprits up, and also made me want to come back so bad. I was getting that feeling again, and I wanted to get in that ring and fight once again. I was started to feel it and I couldn't wait two weeks.
I walked to the window and looked out. About five minutes away was Jeff's house, five minutes, ten or fifteen minute walk. I didn't know if he was home or not. Impulsively, I picked Matt up and put him in his stroller for a walk. I wasn't thinking, of course, as I took the path to Jeff's house. It wasn't until I turned onto his block that I realized what I was doing. And even then, I wasn't really sure. I just kept going, I couldn't stop.
I saw his house, but still kept walking. I stopped right in front of his house, I looked up at it. His car wasn't there, so I thought he wasn't home. I walked up the driveway and into the backyard. He had sure done a lot to it. He had something built in the back with one of his allumanummies on it and a bunch of ditches dug in a pattern, full, sort of, with water. I saw a small bulldozer or something like it, painted, parked in the middle of the yard. Inside these ditches were a few pool rafts. I wondered what he was up to now.
I walked across the yard to the dirt bike track. He taught me how to do this track. He taught me a lot. I saw the volcano was full of gun powder, as if it had been used recently. I could smell it in the air. I didn't dare go near the house. I looked around the property and couldn't believe the mistakes I made. Guilt hit me like a train and I felt incredibly bad. Not for myself, but for Jeff, and Matt as well.
I screwed up a relationship so much more valuable than anything on this earth, the relationship between two brothers. Yes, things have been fixed, mended between the brothers, but it will never be like it was. Something I did dissolved a lot of trust and a lot of willingness to trust again. It's just played off so well on TV, no one knew a damn thing, and it was Amy that got people to think and realize all wasn't good in paradise, and maybe the reason Jeff and I broke up wasn't because of what it was said on TV.
Jeff lost so much that night. His girlfriend, and his brother, temporarily. He lost trust in two people he thought he could trust like no other. He lost the two most important people in his life. And though he got one back, it's not the same, nor will it ever be. Guilt took over me and I couldn't move. Matthew started to make noises, he wanted to go home.
Tears streamed down my face and I found it difficult to push the stroller down the road. I got past the house and turned the corner, but my mind was else where. Waiting for the street light to change so I could cross the street to get to Matt's house, a black Corvette pulled up beside me, at the light. My face was emotionless as I stared directly ahead of me. The window was cracked a little, enough to get noises out of Matthew. I looked down at him and told him to please be quiet. But he kept looking at the car and squealing. Then I looked over, and I froze. My eyes met the beautiful green eyes of Jeff Hardy. He looked right at me, not happy and no mad to see me. I wanted to look away, but I couldn't. I felt the tensions and I felt the heat, it was all still there. My stomach sank, my heart jumped into my throat. My hands gripped tightly to the handlebars of the stroller and I started shaking. His eyes didn't move from mine. When the light turned green, he sped off, leaving me there.
The rest of the walk home, I wondered what he was doing there, and if he knew I stopped by. He could have come up that way to go somewhere. He didn't see me turn out of his block, or did he? I was so worried that Jeff saw me at his house. And I was so freaked out by seeing him at the light. He was in North Carolina. But for how long? And, could I bring myself to go there again and talk to him?
Once I got home I put Matthew in his play pen and headed straight for the bathroom and turned on a cold shower and stuck my head in it. Why was I so freaked out over this? I see Jeff everyday at work. But, the only time I was ever in eye contact distance with him was when he was in the ring, and I happened to me outside of it. But never had I looked into his eyes, not once since Unforgiven last year.
I wrapped my hair in a towel and came back out. Matthew was sitting down in his playpen playing with some of his action figures. He gets so many of them. We're always getting our own figures before they hit shelves, and most of the wrestlers, well most of the ones I'm close with, give some of their figures to Matt. Usually we get about two or three, one we keep in the box and the rest, we just do whatever with. I had a ring set up at Matt's house, every ring and every accessory I could get my hands on. I packed that ring up, and all that came with it, it was coming with me.
I picked my baby up and drew him a bath. He took three figures in with him, ironically, those figures were me, his father, and Jeff. I cleaned him up and put him in his pajamas. I let him run around, well the best he could, with his figures for a while. I got on the floor and played with him. He's such a good baby. He's a great sleeper, and looks just like his daddy. With one exception, his eyes. His eyes were like his uncles...Jeff's. He had those piercing green eyes. He was a Hardy all right, you couldn't see any of me in him. I just hoped I hadn't given him and of my fucked up qualities.
Matthew tired himself out and when I went in the kitchen to get an apple, he was sleeping when I came back. I scooped him up and put him to bed. Tomorrow would be a long day in the car again and I wanted him to be well rested. I watched him sleep for a little before I headed to my room.
I got under the covers and found it hard to sleep. Seeing Jeff today caught me off guard. I never expected he'd even be here now. Seeing him triggered off something in my mind. I wanted so badly to fix things, but found it so difficult to make that first step. And there was no way he would, he had no reason to. He was the one who was hurt, I had to do this. It was now my turn. Who knew what the next few months would bring.
Once I got that done, I called Jay. He said he was hanging out by the pool with the guys, he said Paul was dying to talk to me, and I wanted so badly to talk to him.
"Sweetheart!" He said when he got on the phone.
"Daddy!" I yelled back.
"How are you hun?" He asked me.
"Fine, healing. Everything's going great."
"That's so good to hear. Two weeks and you'll be back. Jay knows something, what do you have planned?"
"You'll see. I heard you were fighting for me while I was gone."
"You bet your ass I was. I got to defend my baby girl. No one hurts her."
"Thank you, Paul." I told him. "I miss you all so much, I want to come back so badly."
"You'll be back soon. We miss you too. I haven't been able to talk to you. Steph wants to go out to lunch the second you come back. I think after RAW, all of us are going out for drinks and what not, and the next day, I want to take you to breakfast."
"Wow, I got a busy two days." I said. "But I love every minute of it."
Talking to Paul lifted my sprits up, and also made me want to come back so bad. I was getting that feeling again, and I wanted to get in that ring and fight once again. I was started to feel it and I couldn't wait two weeks.
I walked to the window and looked out. About five minutes away was Jeff's house, five minutes, ten or fifteen minute walk. I didn't know if he was home or not. Impulsively, I picked Matt up and put him in his stroller for a walk. I wasn't thinking, of course, as I took the path to Jeff's house. It wasn't until I turned onto his block that I realized what I was doing. And even then, I wasn't really sure. I just kept going, I couldn't stop.
I saw his house, but still kept walking. I stopped right in front of his house, I looked up at it. His car wasn't there, so I thought he wasn't home. I walked up the driveway and into the backyard. He had sure done a lot to it. He had something built in the back with one of his allumanummies on it and a bunch of ditches dug in a pattern, full, sort of, with water. I saw a small bulldozer or something like it, painted, parked in the middle of the yard. Inside these ditches were a few pool rafts. I wondered what he was up to now.
I walked across the yard to the dirt bike track. He taught me how to do this track. He taught me a lot. I saw the volcano was full of gun powder, as if it had been used recently. I could smell it in the air. I didn't dare go near the house. I looked around the property and couldn't believe the mistakes I made. Guilt hit me like a train and I felt incredibly bad. Not for myself, but for Jeff, and Matt as well.
I screwed up a relationship so much more valuable than anything on this earth, the relationship between two brothers. Yes, things have been fixed, mended between the brothers, but it will never be like it was. Something I did dissolved a lot of trust and a lot of willingness to trust again. It's just played off so well on TV, no one knew a damn thing, and it was Amy that got people to think and realize all wasn't good in paradise, and maybe the reason Jeff and I broke up wasn't because of what it was said on TV.
Jeff lost so much that night. His girlfriend, and his brother, temporarily. He lost trust in two people he thought he could trust like no other. He lost the two most important people in his life. And though he got one back, it's not the same, nor will it ever be. Guilt took over me and I couldn't move. Matthew started to make noises, he wanted to go home.
Tears streamed down my face and I found it difficult to push the stroller down the road. I got past the house and turned the corner, but my mind was else where. Waiting for the street light to change so I could cross the street to get to Matt's house, a black Corvette pulled up beside me, at the light. My face was emotionless as I stared directly ahead of me. The window was cracked a little, enough to get noises out of Matthew. I looked down at him and told him to please be quiet. But he kept looking at the car and squealing. Then I looked over, and I froze. My eyes met the beautiful green eyes of Jeff Hardy. He looked right at me, not happy and no mad to see me. I wanted to look away, but I couldn't. I felt the tensions and I felt the heat, it was all still there. My stomach sank, my heart jumped into my throat. My hands gripped tightly to the handlebars of the stroller and I started shaking. His eyes didn't move from mine. When the light turned green, he sped off, leaving me there.
The rest of the walk home, I wondered what he was doing there, and if he knew I stopped by. He could have come up that way to go somewhere. He didn't see me turn out of his block, or did he? I was so worried that Jeff saw me at his house. And I was so freaked out by seeing him at the light. He was in North Carolina. But for how long? And, could I bring myself to go there again and talk to him?
Once I got home I put Matthew in his play pen and headed straight for the bathroom and turned on a cold shower and stuck my head in it. Why was I so freaked out over this? I see Jeff everyday at work. But, the only time I was ever in eye contact distance with him was when he was in the ring, and I happened to me outside of it. But never had I looked into his eyes, not once since Unforgiven last year.
I wrapped my hair in a towel and came back out. Matthew was sitting down in his playpen playing with some of his action figures. He gets so many of them. We're always getting our own figures before they hit shelves, and most of the wrestlers, well most of the ones I'm close with, give some of their figures to Matt. Usually we get about two or three, one we keep in the box and the rest, we just do whatever with. I had a ring set up at Matt's house, every ring and every accessory I could get my hands on. I packed that ring up, and all that came with it, it was coming with me.
I picked my baby up and drew him a bath. He took three figures in with him, ironically, those figures were me, his father, and Jeff. I cleaned him up and put him in his pajamas. I let him run around, well the best he could, with his figures for a while. I got on the floor and played with him. He's such a good baby. He's a great sleeper, and looks just like his daddy. With one exception, his eyes. His eyes were like his uncles...Jeff's. He had those piercing green eyes. He was a Hardy all right, you couldn't see any of me in him. I just hoped I hadn't given him and of my fucked up qualities.
Matthew tired himself out and when I went in the kitchen to get an apple, he was sleeping when I came back. I scooped him up and put him to bed. Tomorrow would be a long day in the car again and I wanted him to be well rested. I watched him sleep for a little before I headed to my room.
I got under the covers and found it hard to sleep. Seeing Jeff today caught me off guard. I never expected he'd even be here now. Seeing him triggered off something in my mind. I wanted so badly to fix things, but found it so difficult to make that first step. And there was no way he would, he had no reason to. He was the one who was hurt, I had to do this. It was now my turn. Who knew what the next few months would bring.