I wanted to call Jay and tell him what had just happened to me. What I saw and who was down here. He probably knew, Jeff wasn't on the road with them. And, if he wasn't, why didn't anyone warn me? That wasn't on the top of my concerns list. The fact that he was here, and he could have seen me up at the house was.
My heart still raced as I left Matthew's room. I got into my bed and couldn't fall asleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw his eyes look right back at me. His eyes were so beautiful, but so haunting. I couldn't shake the image of his green eyes staring into mine. It felt that he wasn't even staring at me, but through me. He glared as if I didn't exist, I wasn't standing there.
The alarm I set for seven that morning went off, and I sat there wide awake, with only about three hours sleep behind me. I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower. After I got out, I woke Matthew up. He was still tired. I left him in his pajamas and carried him to the car. Pop tart in hand, I started the car, and headed out for Tampa.
I was so concerned about Jeff, if he saw me, and what he had to be thinking. Everything I had planned for a moment like that had flown out the window. I didn't speak, I didn't even move. How was Jeff to know how I felt if I couldn't bring myself to move a muscle around him.
I drove a little while longer and made a pit stop in Georgia. I took out my phone and called Jay. Matthew was awake, and I brought him in to change his diaper. The phone rang a few times before Jay picked up. I looked at my watch, it was about noon.
"Did I wake you?" I asked.
"What? No, I had to get up anyway. Where are you?"
"Georgia." I answered. "Pit stop, I'm going straight through after this."
"All right. Take care of the house." He told me.
"Of course, Jay." I said.
"Of course." He replied.
"Why didn't you tell me Jeff was down in North Carolina?" I asked.
"Because, I honestly didn't know. He mentioned something about going away for the weekend. He never said where, and no one thought he'd be home. Why?"
"I saw him. He's not on some small vacation, he's home." I answered.
"You saw him?"
"Yes, I was walking with Matt and his car pulled up next to me at a light. I swear it was him, we stared right at each other."
"And?"
"And what?"
"What else?" He asked eagerly.
"Nothing else." I answered. "As soon as the light turned green, he sped away."
"Oh." Jay said. "Well, in two weeks you'll be back on board. The both of you will be here."
"I know, I know. And it'll probably be like before. I've got something I need to take care of, get out of the way, before I can work on this."
"Amy?"
"Yes. Amy." I answered. "I've got to get all this out of the way. Then, I can start putting my life together."
"Do what you have to. I'm here for ya."
"I know, thank you, Jay."
I hung up with him and headed out for Florida. No more pit stops. I changed the CD and put on one that I had made, a bunch of entrance themes. Don't ask, sometimes you just get in that mood. Anyway, I was blasting the themes of everyone I knew. It got me in the mood to wrestle. The desire returned and I was yearning for the chance.
Finally I past the sign that read "Welcome To Florida", I welcomed it. Soon enough I'd be at Jay's, setting things up, and having the movers move all my stuff in. I was looking forward to staying with Jay. It was a new taste, I had been bouncing back between Paul and Chris, and God knows who else just because staying in New York was too horrible.
The longest part of my trip seemed to be the time it took to get from the sign to Jay's house. I was in such anticipation to be there, that the miles dragged on slowly. Once I finally arrived, the movers weren't there yet. But, I didn't care. I left what I had in the car and brought Matthew inside. I went to the phone to call Jay, he wanted me to.
"You know, I am getting sick of calling you all the damn time." I laughed.
"I know, I am getting kinda sick of hearing your voice too." He replied. "So you must be home then?"
"Yes, and happy to be. The movers didn't get here yet, but I could careless right now. I'm just so happy to finally be here."
"Well, what's there is yours too." He told me. "Make yourself right at home. You have two weeks to make it your house too, then you're back on the road."
"Back to the insanity." I said.
"You ready for it?" He asked.
"Yes, I can't be more ready. I think whatever it was I was looking for, I think I found it here." I answered. "Most if it."
"That's good to hear. Soul searching worked then?"
"It did." I looked around. "It really did."
"So, a new, fresh Destiny will emerge from the wreckage? A strong, wise, Destiny?"
"Something like that, yeah." I answered. "Smart enough to start being responsible. A grown up Destiny will return. And I realized I had a lot of growing up to do."
"Good to hear, Des." He said. "I'd love to stay and chit chat, but I gotta run. I'll call you sometime soon."
"All right, love you, Jay."
"Right back at ya babe."
I hung up. As I did, the movers arrived at the house. I let them in and the process of bringing what was worth keeping at New York began. I showed them mine and the baby's room, and the other room Jay gave us. I showed them where to park the dirt bikes and motorcycles they brought up as well. Matthew got a kick out of it, seeing everything being brought upstairs. I paid them and gave them a generous tip and they left.
After, I brought Matthew upstairs with me to my room. I set him in his playpen and I kept the door open to the balcony I had on the room. I had the movers put my piano on it. I sat at it and began to play, not a song I had heard of, just something I had made up. Matthew looked at me as I played. I thought about everything that had happened this month. And, a more grown up Destiny was going to emerge from the wreckage. I had taken a look back at everything that happened to me prior to leaving. The fight, what led to the fight, the car accident. Being suspended was a Godsend, a miracle in disguise. With everything that led to me being suspended, and the hard times I faced here in Tampa, I got a good sense of who I was, and what I was still made up. I was still strong, and I was still able to handle almost anything. And, seeing Jeff in North Carolina was a sign, I had to take a step forward. Tampa did everything it promised. It woke me up, made me wise, showed me I was strong, and I grew up. Most importantly, I grew up, and I woke up. Tampa changed me, and I will never forget it.
My heart still raced as I left Matthew's room. I got into my bed and couldn't fall asleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw his eyes look right back at me. His eyes were so beautiful, but so haunting. I couldn't shake the image of his green eyes staring into mine. It felt that he wasn't even staring at me, but through me. He glared as if I didn't exist, I wasn't standing there.
The alarm I set for seven that morning went off, and I sat there wide awake, with only about three hours sleep behind me. I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower. After I got out, I woke Matthew up. He was still tired. I left him in his pajamas and carried him to the car. Pop tart in hand, I started the car, and headed out for Tampa.
I was so concerned about Jeff, if he saw me, and what he had to be thinking. Everything I had planned for a moment like that had flown out the window. I didn't speak, I didn't even move. How was Jeff to know how I felt if I couldn't bring myself to move a muscle around him.
I drove a little while longer and made a pit stop in Georgia. I took out my phone and called Jay. Matthew was awake, and I brought him in to change his diaper. The phone rang a few times before Jay picked up. I looked at my watch, it was about noon.
"Did I wake you?" I asked.
"What? No, I had to get up anyway. Where are you?"
"Georgia." I answered. "Pit stop, I'm going straight through after this."
"All right. Take care of the house." He told me.
"Of course, Jay." I said.
"Of course." He replied.
"Why didn't you tell me Jeff was down in North Carolina?" I asked.
"Because, I honestly didn't know. He mentioned something about going away for the weekend. He never said where, and no one thought he'd be home. Why?"
"I saw him. He's not on some small vacation, he's home." I answered.
"You saw him?"
"Yes, I was walking with Matt and his car pulled up next to me at a light. I swear it was him, we stared right at each other."
"And?"
"And what?"
"What else?" He asked eagerly.
"Nothing else." I answered. "As soon as the light turned green, he sped away."
"Oh." Jay said. "Well, in two weeks you'll be back on board. The both of you will be here."
"I know, I know. And it'll probably be like before. I've got something I need to take care of, get out of the way, before I can work on this."
"Amy?"
"Yes. Amy." I answered. "I've got to get all this out of the way. Then, I can start putting my life together."
"Do what you have to. I'm here for ya."
"I know, thank you, Jay."
I hung up with him and headed out for Florida. No more pit stops. I changed the CD and put on one that I had made, a bunch of entrance themes. Don't ask, sometimes you just get in that mood. Anyway, I was blasting the themes of everyone I knew. It got me in the mood to wrestle. The desire returned and I was yearning for the chance.
Finally I past the sign that read "Welcome To Florida", I welcomed it. Soon enough I'd be at Jay's, setting things up, and having the movers move all my stuff in. I was looking forward to staying with Jay. It was a new taste, I had been bouncing back between Paul and Chris, and God knows who else just because staying in New York was too horrible.
The longest part of my trip seemed to be the time it took to get from the sign to Jay's house. I was in such anticipation to be there, that the miles dragged on slowly. Once I finally arrived, the movers weren't there yet. But, I didn't care. I left what I had in the car and brought Matthew inside. I went to the phone to call Jay, he wanted me to.
"You know, I am getting sick of calling you all the damn time." I laughed.
"I know, I am getting kinda sick of hearing your voice too." He replied. "So you must be home then?"
"Yes, and happy to be. The movers didn't get here yet, but I could careless right now. I'm just so happy to finally be here."
"Well, what's there is yours too." He told me. "Make yourself right at home. You have two weeks to make it your house too, then you're back on the road."
"Back to the insanity." I said.
"You ready for it?" He asked.
"Yes, I can't be more ready. I think whatever it was I was looking for, I think I found it here." I answered. "Most if it."
"That's good to hear. Soul searching worked then?"
"It did." I looked around. "It really did."
"So, a new, fresh Destiny will emerge from the wreckage? A strong, wise, Destiny?"
"Something like that, yeah." I answered. "Smart enough to start being responsible. A grown up Destiny will return. And I realized I had a lot of growing up to do."
"Good to hear, Des." He said. "I'd love to stay and chit chat, but I gotta run. I'll call you sometime soon."
"All right, love you, Jay."
"Right back at ya babe."
I hung up. As I did, the movers arrived at the house. I let them in and the process of bringing what was worth keeping at New York began. I showed them mine and the baby's room, and the other room Jay gave us. I showed them where to park the dirt bikes and motorcycles they brought up as well. Matthew got a kick out of it, seeing everything being brought upstairs. I paid them and gave them a generous tip and they left.
After, I brought Matthew upstairs with me to my room. I set him in his playpen and I kept the door open to the balcony I had on the room. I had the movers put my piano on it. I sat at it and began to play, not a song I had heard of, just something I had made up. Matthew looked at me as I played. I thought about everything that had happened this month. And, a more grown up Destiny was going to emerge from the wreckage. I had taken a look back at everything that happened to me prior to leaving. The fight, what led to the fight, the car accident. Being suspended was a Godsend, a miracle in disguise. With everything that led to me being suspended, and the hard times I faced here in Tampa, I got a good sense of who I was, and what I was still made up. I was still strong, and I was still able to handle almost anything. And, seeing Jeff in North Carolina was a sign, I had to take a step forward. Tampa did everything it promised. It woke me up, made me wise, showed me I was strong, and I grew up. Most importantly, I grew up, and I woke up. Tampa changed me, and I will never forget it.