The Toilet Paper Hater's Club Chapter 2: Applications and Accusations, a yu yu hakusho fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, Yoko Kurama, Hiei Jaganshi, gas stations, paperwork or Charmin brand toilet paper. I do however own The TPHC, Jim the Coconut, and my version of the Popeye song "Hiei the Sailor Man", since I made it up.

Author's Note: First off, I'd like to thank Miyu6, Chrystaline, and Portal-girl for being the first three people to review! I'm immensely glad that you guys consider this revised version to be even better than the original! You guys are so awesome! Chocolate-chip cookies and ice cream to all of my reviewers!

Chapter II: Applications and Accusations

"This is getting utterly ridiculous, Hiei. There are only so many times you can go over those bloody applications."

The hour was growing late, as the oddly matched group of creatures sat on the floor of a gas station bathroom, pouring over piles of paperwork. True, it wasn't the most glamorous place to hold a meeting even so strange as this, but it was one of the few places normal people didn't dare frequent; secrecy was crucial.

The quickly dissipating air was thick with the smell of greasy bean burritos, and it was more than likely that the bathroom hadn't been cleaned since the turn of the millennium, if not longer than that. In order to prevent any unnecessary 'incidents' involving the tissue-thin toilet paper, it had all been hastily shoved into the toilet, and flushed an inhuman number of times, to no avail.

Growing annoyed, Marori snatched up a file at random and thrust it into the demon's hands. "Okay, what's wrong with this one?"

Hiei glanced over it briefly, gave a curt laugh and shook his head. "This one was once hospitalized for having an irrational fear of furbies, and was finally released when she was caught setting fire to a stack of pillows with a home-made flame thrower..."

"It's not like anyone got seriously hurt."

Both Hiei and Yoko Kurama stared at the girl, as she fidgeted with a strand of her dark brown hair.

"This was you?" the kitsune inquired, stealing the unusually thick file from the shorter demon, and thumbing through the pages, his eyes widening freakishly as Marori nodded slowly. The list was extensive – there were scores of accusations, many of which involved pyrotechnics of some bizarre kind. "... Wow."

The green-eyed female retrieved the folder from them, and hurriedly stashed it out of sight, muttering something that sounded peculiarly like 'destroy the evidence'.

"Let's get back to the matter at hand," she suggested hastily, picking up another file and flipping through the sheets.

After what seemed like an eternity, there was a small stack of files which had seemed to have potential member material. Papers were scattered everywhere, some having been shoved into the already overly full toilet, while others were protruding from the garbage can. Yoko Kurama glanced skeptically at the pile, his attention then turning to Hiei.

"That's it?" the toga-wearing youkaii inquired, indicating the tiny stack of paperwork that sat on the tile floor. "Out of the hundreds of applications we went through, only these five were good enough?"

"I have very high standards!" the fiery demon objected, gnawing on what appeared to be a pipe that had come loose from the corroded sink...

"But only five?"

Growing annoyed, Hiei snatched up a manila file from the mountain of rejected applicants, and read a portion of it aloud. "Just listen to this! 'I honestly bear no grudge towards toilet paper. In fact, I find it useful, but I think if hot guys are involved, especially Yoko Kurama, why not?"

"So what if she only wanted to join because of Yoko Kurama?" Marori questioned, tilting her head slightly to the side. The silver haired boy grinned, flipping his hair from side to side, giving a small chuckle. "What's wrong with it? She said she'd jo –"

"He," the haughty teen interrupted, waving the file wildly in the air. "It's a he!"

Immediately freezing, the kitsune blinked and a sweat drop rolled down the side of his face. "Come again?"

"A guy wrote the application! Not some fangirl! A FANBOY!" Hiei shouted, flinging the file across the room as though the touch of it burnt his skin. "UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!"

Yoko Kurama, having just realized what was being said, let out a girlish shriek, and joined Hiei in trying to distance himself as much as possible from the papers. Even Jim, it seemed, was taken aback by this as he rolled towards the two cowering boys. Marori, on the other hand, simply picked up the file and looked for a place to put it. Finally, she placed it in a pile, which through the persistence of the demons, had been labeled 'HOLD THE PICKLES!'.

"Men," she muttered, shaking her head and dialing the first approved applicant's number on a conveniently appearing cell phone. "What babies."

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Chapter Note: Yay! I finished the chapter!

This brief chapter was added to the story in order to clarify how the first group was chosen. The TPHC would like to formally apologize to anyone offended by the unexpected behaviour of two of its members.

Now that you've read the chapter, leave me some reviews if you want the next chapter to be posted!