I woke up the next morning with a new out look. But, with a lot of questions also. Could I just walk up to Jeff? Say hello, or say anything. His final words to me last night ran in my head. It haunted me like a sick dream. One simple phrase.

It also got me thinking. Did anyone know about this encounter yet? My only guess would be Matt. He was coming over shortly to drop the baby off. It made me also question if I should tell anyone. No matter what, I knew I had to tell Jay, if Matt knew or not. If Matt did know, I was very curious on how Jeff told him, what his version was. And, I wanted to give Matt mine.

"Des!" Matt yelled through the door. "Open up."

I opened the door. "How's my baby?"

"Fine, thanks for asking." Matt answered.

"So funny."

"Actually, I'm sort of confused."

"What else is new?"

"Now who's being funny? Seriously, Jay said you didn't take his car home. That you left a note." He said. "Is everything ok?" Looks like Jeff didn't say anything.

"I felt kind of dizzy." I said. "And everything's fine now. I just needed to lay down."

"Good to hear. Anyway, I wanted to go to breakfast with Jeff but he left a note saying he went for a run." He shrugged. "I need to hit a gym anyway, I haven't in a while."

"I know, you can so tell." I joked.

"You're so on today with the jokes!" He said. He kissed Matt on the head. "I'll see you later, if not I'll see you Friday."

"You got it."

That explained why Matt didn't know. He didn't see his brother. I went to the phone and dialed Jay's room. Adam answered, though I don't think he even knew he did.

"I need to talk to Jay." I said.

"Yeah...Jay..."

"Des?" Jay asked.

"He's still sleeping?"

"Yes, he has no clue what's going on." He answered. "I'm glad you called. I had to lie last night, mostly because I was confused myself. You didn't write that note. I know the handwriting."

"It's why I'm calling. Can you get away for lunch, say 12:30."

"Yeah, I'll come get you."

"It's going to be a party of three, Matt dropped the baby off."

"Wonderful, I haven't really seen the kid."

I hung up and started getting ready. Matt was walking around the room, laughing. It brought a smile to my face. I scooped him up and brought him into the bathroom while I showered and dyed my hair. Red, faded into black. The best job I had done in awhile.

"So, what's the deal?" Jay asked when we got to the diner.

"I still can't believe it myself." I said, wiping the chocolate milk off Matt's face. "I spent a good hour and a half in his room last night."

"Destiny."

"Don't jump the gun, Jay." I said. "After Kurt's performance, I wanted out. I didn't expect the encore presentation. A duet, with Andrew." Jay's face grew tense. "I was walking through the parking garage, looking for your car. Kurt grabbed me and threw me into a corner. Andrew was there waiting. He tore open my shirt, I don't need to explain his intentions. He left these marks on my arms," I pulled the bandages down, "and some scratch marks on my chest. I was able to break free and ran, literally, into Jeff. I told him what happened, it just came out. He had this heated look in his eyes and jetted out there. He was out for Kurt, but he was long gone. He found Andrew, and he ratted Kurt out. Jeff said I couldn't drive back like this and helped me into his car, leaving that note and he brought me to his room.

"I couldn't breath when I was in there at first. But I knew this was my shot, my chance. Fate brought me there and I had to take advantage, if I didn't I wasn't sure I'd ever get a second chance. Everything I had planned to say, it just flew out the window and I went black. But I did it, I spilled everything. I got all of it out."

"What did he have to say?"

"He told me how he felt. He put the guilt on real thick, but I understood."

"So, you two re alright now?" Jay asked.

"That's just it, I don't know. Before I left he said something that's still in my head. Everyone would be coming back soon so I thought I should leave. He said, 'It'd be wrong for them to see us talking'. It leaves a lot unexplained."

"Want to hear my take?" Jay said. "Last night was a breakthrough and a very awkward moment. And, what sucks is it's going to remain awkward for a while. The more you warm up to it and embrace it, the quicker it'll become familiar again. Take baby steps. There's not logic in diving in head first. You do what you feel is right. Your heart always leads you in the right direction, no matter how many detours you take along the way."

Jay made perfect sense, as always. I wasn't going to fear public opinion, I never did and it wasn't me. I have taken many detours in my life, and now I was finally able to see the light.

"Big match for you Sunday." Jay said.

"Yes, one I am looking forward to losing."

"Really?"

"Yes, I'm also a Tag Team Champion, people forgot that. With Chris's RAW return, we're going full force into that. People never really look at us as champions because I've been pushed into the Destiny/Lita angle and no one notices it. And since Chris got hurt and me being suspended, it seems like our gold was forgotten. Plus, I'm sick of dealing with Amy's crap and I want to move on from that. The fans got all they could out of it. We've gone so personal that there's nothing left. I don't want to be pulled down by her anymore. I want to live my life the best I can without worrying about crossing her path. I'm ready to move on. Hopefully this will be the first step of ending the relationship we have."

"Very smart. You and Amy have hated each other for two years, and I know that it'll never go away, everyone knows that. But, you're making the right decision, Destiny."

"Thank you, Jay." I said. "I'd like to think so. I'd like to think that this cage match will send the message to everyone. With the title changing hands, and me moving on to focus on my tag team gold, we shouldn't have to cross paths again. And the fans have gotten all they can get and I hope they see this as an ending point also."

"They will. I think all of the emotion you two will put into that match will be enough proof."

I sighed. "God, so much has changed in this one year. It's only been one year since Unforgiven and since then life has been a roller coaster. Everything is so different. I feel different."

"You are." Jay said. "You are completely different from the woman we first set eyes on. That's the beauty of it. You've become one of us, admiring and loving the sport. You've embraced it. You're not just the girl who got in on a lucky break, you've earned you spot and the fan base and fame you have now. You've grown on it, and in return it all has grown on you. You've done so much, accomplished even more. You are a true gem in this business." He paused, then looked down. When he looked back up, his eyes were glossy. "We've had out share of encounters," he continued, "And I wouldn't change any of them. As we've grown I have seen all of you changes, and you are far more beautiful because of them."

I reached across the table and hugged him. Jay, as I've said so much, was my best friend. And every day he found a new way to make me understand why. We've done so much together, things that would tear other friendships apart. But, we stayed strong. He truly is one special individual.

"You know I'll be running down that ramp Sunday after your match."

"I know, I'm expecting it." I replied, cleaning Matt up a little more.

"Have you talked to Paul yet, about your second Kurt encounter?" I shook my head. "I'm honored and flattered that you came to me first, but he has to know. He will find out about it either way, and I think it's best coming from you. That way he'll know the truth."

"He'll go ballistic, you know that. But, once again you are right. Goddamnit." I smiled. "We're flying home together, correct?" Jay nodded. "Ok, I'll run by and get you and Adam at six then."

"Sounds good to me." Jay said. "I want to get home."

"Yeah, I want to see Chris, I miss him." I said. "I've just come off of a suspension, I want to get back into the swing of it all."

"I know, but we're in LA on Friday, promotions, interviews, the works." Jay replied.

"Two days of normalcy before we dive head first into the shark tank?"

"Yup, we fly early Friday morning. I think like seven." He said. "Vince booked us all for seven o'clock flights."

"Bastard." I said. "Can't he let us sleep, even a little?"

Jay laughed. "Me and you are going to have to drag Adam's ass on that plane. There's no way he's going to be functional at seven in the morning."

"That's for sure." I laughed.

Jay and I finished our lunch and went back to the hotel. Jeff was in the weight room, alone. I told Jay I'd see him later and went in. Jeff had his diskman with him and didn't see me coming. I put the baby down and sat beside him. He looked at me, and jumped a little.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." I said.

"No, it's ok." He replied. "Hey, Matty." Matt smiled at his uncle. "What brings you here?"

"I saw you." I answered. "I need to ask you something."

"Shoot."

"Why did you say what you did last night to me?"

"What would that be?"

"About people seeing us together?"

"That? Just said it. Des, no one is going to know what to say about us when they see us talking. Don't get me wrong, I don't care what people think or say about me in any way. I don't know. I haven't even told Matt yet about it." He looked at me. "I'm not making sense. Sorry."

"It's ok." I replied. "I don't care about what people think either. And, if I'm going to be talking to you I don't care who sees. Am I going to be talking to you? I mean, I know things aren't going to be perfect, but I'd like to try."

"Me too." Jeff answered. "I want to try and be friends again."

I smiled. "How do we start?"

"How did we start in the first place?"

"I replaced Amy in your team." I laughed.

"Ah, yes." He answered. Matt started to cry.

"I better get him to the room. His toys are there." I said.

"What time are you leaving today?" Jeff asked.

"Six. With Adam and Jay. You?"

"Seven, same airport though. Me and Matt are leaving for home."

"I'll see you Friday." I said.

"Bright and early." He shuddered.

I scooped Mat up and left the weight room. I should have stayed and gotten some lifting in, but Matt had a change of plans, and of course, what he says goes, every time. I tried to hush him in the elevator leading to our floor. Torrie Wilson was in there when I got in. She smiled when she saw us.

"Not a happy camper?" She asked.

"Not in the least." I answered. "He was fine until we got into the weight room. He lost it in there. He's bored."

"Aww." She said. She smiled. "Matty, you bored of all this? Yeah, we all want to go home too." She smile again. "He's a beautiful baby, that's for sure."

"Thank you." I replied.

I opened the door of my room and set Matt free. He went to the bag of toys Matt and I kept for him. He plopped his little behind down and tore the bag apart. I smiled as I watched him. I could watch him for hours on end without getting bored of it. He was a beautiful baby with every positive trait from his father. He looked like his father, dead ringer. He was a Hardy. He was free spirited and I knew already he was going to be independent, just like his mother. I was nervous on just how much he'd be like me. I had so many negative qualities I didn't want to be genetic and passed on to him. He looked just like his father, and I wanted him to act like him too. I was so fearful Matthew would be just like me, like how I was, and I didn't want that for him. He had so many people around him to be a positive influence, to keep his head on straight. I didn't want him to take advantage of that in the future and end up like I did.

Don't get me wrong, I love my life how it is now, but how it got here I hated. What my life was before wrestling, I hated it. The lies, the games, the endless party from sound stage to sound stage, movie set to movie set, bar to bar. It all seemed the same and I was getting burned out very quickly. I did everything I could to get back at my parents. From taking on every deal I could in film and clubs, to taking every drug I could find. I was the poster child of your typical New York scum. A teenage waste land, I was supposed to be dead and washed up long before any of this. Critics on the indy scene stated that "though her movies are incredible and her talent is unmistakable, Destiny Diaz will not see her twenty-first birthday. This self-destruction time bomb dazzles us on the big screen, as well as shocks us in the papers". It was a review I could never forget, because it was true. I knew I had a talent and I knew that no matter what my toxicology reading may be that day, I could easily pull off a movie set and amaze anyone. But, the second the cameras went off and the lights dimmer, I looked the part. I was a New York junkie.

I feared my bad choices and horrible past would be genetic and Matthew could end up that way. The environment in which he was growing up in wasn't stable. It would be so easy for him to dabble in what I did, become what I was. I didn't want that, and I couldn't forgive myself if that happened. I felt I'd be letting Matt down, as a father.

I snapped back into the present and my worries went away for now. I took a deep breath and watched him play, alone in his own little one year old world. There were no deadlines, grudges, personal hells. No such thing. Innocence is defiantly lost.