"I don't know what else to say." Chris said. "Except for be careful."
I nodded. "I appreciate your concern, everyone's concern. It's just that no one else understands why this has to happen, only two people do, myself and Amy, and that's it, and that's how it should be. No one else has to understand why this is happening."
I thanked Chris once again and went back up to the house. His concerns got to me. But it was true, no one else had to know why Amy and I had to fight this way. And even if we tried to explain it, it didn't make much sense to anyone. It seemed insane and stupid. To risk so much over something that seemed so little, in hopes for the nearly impossible to happen. But that's how it had to be.
Before I could get any further in my match, I had to place a phone call. I hadn't really talked to Paul in some time, and right now I needed his opinion more than anyone. The phone rang a few times before Paul answered.
"What's up?" He asked.
"Paul, it's Des."
"Hunny, how are you?" He asked. "I was hoping to hear from you."
"I'm stressing. My match with Amy is in a few days and I am terrified."
"Ah, I knew there had to be a reason why you'd call." He laughed. "I know this is a big thing for you. You wrote this match and you put your heart and soul into it. Your reasons are noble, and if it does work for the better, then cheers to you."
"I don't have a backup plan. It better work out." I said.
"I didn't think you did. Impulses, that's what you work on. Destiny, I've been in very important matches, I've been in matches I put my heart and soul into. I have been in very emotional matches with people I didn't like. But, I can't compare any of them to the match you're about to fight."
"Do you have any fatherly advice for me then?"
"I have plenty of advice. I can give you a piece of advice for any match you might find yourself in."
"So, what do you have for mine?"
"However, in your case, I can't think of any advice."
"How comforting." I said.
"That doesn't mean I don't have something to say." He replied. "I have no advice for you here. Nothing that's going to help you through this. You yourself have to get yourself through this. You know what this match is for, you're the one with the heart and soul into it. You're not fighting this match for anyone but yourself. You and only you know the benefits and know why it's worth the risk. Others may not agree with it one iota, but you know what it's for and that is all that matters."
"That might have been the best advice you've ever given me." I told him.
"I'm good even when I don't try."
"Don't get too cocky now." I told him.
"But please, be careful. I know how heated these things can get, and I have seen what they do to a person. I don't want to see you turned into a crippled bitter washed up superstar."
"You have such high hopes for me." I joked.
"I'm serious, hun. Don't get wrapped up in the hype of it all. Don't forget why you're doing this, and don't let anyone tell you why."
"Yes, dad." I said sarcastically.
"Destiny." He said to me. "Don't get fresh. I am being serious."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't get too big for this. It's a big night for you, don't get an ego now. You've been grounded your whole career and that's what kept you on top, don't lose it over this."
Paul made a lot of sense to me. When it came down to the business he was the one to talk to. He never joked when he talked about the business, always serious. He took it all very seriously too. That's just how he is, and why so many respect him. He is the business, and no one can take that away from him. Try, and he will leave you with scars that will never heal.
When I hung up with Paul, I took to the match with a new perspective. It was now where I began to feel that I too was the business. I began looking at it the way Paul does. And everything he said to me began to make sense.
There is one match where every superstar crosses from being a WWE wrestler to a WWE superstar. Those who are defined as superstars. Not your regular wrestler, but the ones who the fans go nuts over, the ones who have the following. You can easily tell the difference. When you embark on that match, you know it as soon as you get into that ring that tonight is going to be the night. And, when it's all said and done, you are given the right of passage, you are looked at with a whole new credibility. I had been in the WWE a long time before I had that match. It was a year ago. Last Unforgiven was my match, the match that launched me into WWE superstardom. I was well known, but more so by who I hung with then what I could do in the ring. Unforgiven last year proved why I hung with the big boys.
This Unforgiven was a new corner for me. I became the business. I crossed a line only the elite few can cross. People like Paul, Mark, Steve. The real headliners that everyone comes to for advice. I was now becoming a leader. Paul hinted it to me on the phone. And when I read the match for the billionth and one time, I saw what he meant.
"Still at it?" Jay asked when he came home from Adams. It had been about three hours.
"Yes." I answered. "Adam not with you?"
"Nah, he had things to take care of." Jay answered. He set Matt down. "You've been here too long, I am taking you to lunch. Get ready."
"Jay, I have a lot of work to do."
"Think of it as your last meal." He smiled. "Des, even the best need a break. It'll be good for you. Clear your mind before diving in again."
Jay was right, and I set the match down. I went to my bathroom to shower and change. As the warm water fell across my body, I could feel the hatred and the frustrations I had with Amy wash away. The old Destiny was washing down the drain, and the new, improved, focused Destiny was coming through.
"You know," Jay said when we were at lunch. "Seeing you like this is starting to make me ancy."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I guess because I've never seen you so wrapped up inside a match before."
"Well, things are going to be different with me from now on."
"Really?" Jay asked.
"Really." I answered. "This match has done a lot for me and I am ready for that next step in my career."
"Well, whatever that may be, don't lose sight of this Destiny. I happen to like her."
I didn't think anyone thought that I could actually buckle down and be this serious about matches. Don't get me wrong, I was very serious about everything I did in the WWE, but this was different. All of it was different and I felt that if I didn't change, no one would take me seriously again. No woman in the business was ever looked at as a business woman with the exception of Linda McMahon, who, was never a wrestler. But every female wrestler was never looked at or thought at as to be serious, to be about the business.
"Well, with only days left, you must be excited, and you have to want it to be over."
"Yes, to both." I said. "I want it to be over so bad because I am so sick of stressing on it. But, I guess it's for the best. I mostly want it to be over so I can see how people react to it, how well it goes over. That's my main concern. I want the fans to know that this is my heart and soul, ya know."
"Well, I know I believe it, and I know I am not the only one. " Jay said. "I know what you've done to prepare for this, and I am looking forward to seeing it played out." He smiled at me. "You have done so much, there is no reason why you can't succeed. And you will."
I nodded. "I appreciate your concern, everyone's concern. It's just that no one else understands why this has to happen, only two people do, myself and Amy, and that's it, and that's how it should be. No one else has to understand why this is happening."
I thanked Chris once again and went back up to the house. His concerns got to me. But it was true, no one else had to know why Amy and I had to fight this way. And even if we tried to explain it, it didn't make much sense to anyone. It seemed insane and stupid. To risk so much over something that seemed so little, in hopes for the nearly impossible to happen. But that's how it had to be.
Before I could get any further in my match, I had to place a phone call. I hadn't really talked to Paul in some time, and right now I needed his opinion more than anyone. The phone rang a few times before Paul answered.
"What's up?" He asked.
"Paul, it's Des."
"Hunny, how are you?" He asked. "I was hoping to hear from you."
"I'm stressing. My match with Amy is in a few days and I am terrified."
"Ah, I knew there had to be a reason why you'd call." He laughed. "I know this is a big thing for you. You wrote this match and you put your heart and soul into it. Your reasons are noble, and if it does work for the better, then cheers to you."
"I don't have a backup plan. It better work out." I said.
"I didn't think you did. Impulses, that's what you work on. Destiny, I've been in very important matches, I've been in matches I put my heart and soul into. I have been in very emotional matches with people I didn't like. But, I can't compare any of them to the match you're about to fight."
"Do you have any fatherly advice for me then?"
"I have plenty of advice. I can give you a piece of advice for any match you might find yourself in."
"So, what do you have for mine?"
"However, in your case, I can't think of any advice."
"How comforting." I said.
"That doesn't mean I don't have something to say." He replied. "I have no advice for you here. Nothing that's going to help you through this. You yourself have to get yourself through this. You know what this match is for, you're the one with the heart and soul into it. You're not fighting this match for anyone but yourself. You and only you know the benefits and know why it's worth the risk. Others may not agree with it one iota, but you know what it's for and that is all that matters."
"That might have been the best advice you've ever given me." I told him.
"I'm good even when I don't try."
"Don't get too cocky now." I told him.
"But please, be careful. I know how heated these things can get, and I have seen what they do to a person. I don't want to see you turned into a crippled bitter washed up superstar."
"You have such high hopes for me." I joked.
"I'm serious, hun. Don't get wrapped up in the hype of it all. Don't forget why you're doing this, and don't let anyone tell you why."
"Yes, dad." I said sarcastically.
"Destiny." He said to me. "Don't get fresh. I am being serious."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't get too big for this. It's a big night for you, don't get an ego now. You've been grounded your whole career and that's what kept you on top, don't lose it over this."
Paul made a lot of sense to me. When it came down to the business he was the one to talk to. He never joked when he talked about the business, always serious. He took it all very seriously too. That's just how he is, and why so many respect him. He is the business, and no one can take that away from him. Try, and he will leave you with scars that will never heal.
When I hung up with Paul, I took to the match with a new perspective. It was now where I began to feel that I too was the business. I began looking at it the way Paul does. And everything he said to me began to make sense.
There is one match where every superstar crosses from being a WWE wrestler to a WWE superstar. Those who are defined as superstars. Not your regular wrestler, but the ones who the fans go nuts over, the ones who have the following. You can easily tell the difference. When you embark on that match, you know it as soon as you get into that ring that tonight is going to be the night. And, when it's all said and done, you are given the right of passage, you are looked at with a whole new credibility. I had been in the WWE a long time before I had that match. It was a year ago. Last Unforgiven was my match, the match that launched me into WWE superstardom. I was well known, but more so by who I hung with then what I could do in the ring. Unforgiven last year proved why I hung with the big boys.
This Unforgiven was a new corner for me. I became the business. I crossed a line only the elite few can cross. People like Paul, Mark, Steve. The real headliners that everyone comes to for advice. I was now becoming a leader. Paul hinted it to me on the phone. And when I read the match for the billionth and one time, I saw what he meant.
"Still at it?" Jay asked when he came home from Adams. It had been about three hours.
"Yes." I answered. "Adam not with you?"
"Nah, he had things to take care of." Jay answered. He set Matt down. "You've been here too long, I am taking you to lunch. Get ready."
"Jay, I have a lot of work to do."
"Think of it as your last meal." He smiled. "Des, even the best need a break. It'll be good for you. Clear your mind before diving in again."
Jay was right, and I set the match down. I went to my bathroom to shower and change. As the warm water fell across my body, I could feel the hatred and the frustrations I had with Amy wash away. The old Destiny was washing down the drain, and the new, improved, focused Destiny was coming through.
"You know," Jay said when we were at lunch. "Seeing you like this is starting to make me ancy."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I guess because I've never seen you so wrapped up inside a match before."
"Well, things are going to be different with me from now on."
"Really?" Jay asked.
"Really." I answered. "This match has done a lot for me and I am ready for that next step in my career."
"Well, whatever that may be, don't lose sight of this Destiny. I happen to like her."
I didn't think anyone thought that I could actually buckle down and be this serious about matches. Don't get me wrong, I was very serious about everything I did in the WWE, but this was different. All of it was different and I felt that if I didn't change, no one would take me seriously again. No woman in the business was ever looked at as a business woman with the exception of Linda McMahon, who, was never a wrestler. But every female wrestler was never looked at or thought at as to be serious, to be about the business.
"Well, with only days left, you must be excited, and you have to want it to be over."
"Yes, to both." I said. "I want it to be over so bad because I am so sick of stressing on it. But, I guess it's for the best. I mostly want it to be over so I can see how people react to it, how well it goes over. That's my main concern. I want the fans to know that this is my heart and soul, ya know."
"Well, I know I believe it, and I know I am not the only one. " Jay said. "I know what you've done to prepare for this, and I am looking forward to seeing it played out." He smiled at me. "You have done so much, there is no reason why you can't succeed. And you will."