So...unexpected follow-up to teh one-shot. Yay.
She's adjusted surprisingly well to being Draco Malfoy's girlfriend. Things are easier now she doesn't have to worry about the long-term effects of dating a Muggle. Not that she'd been particularly worried in the first place. Still...it's nice to know.
They go out a lot. Well, she's pretty sure it's 'going out' because they do things for a few hours and have sex afterwards more often than not. They've raided the bookstore for the most obscure books they can find, most of which end up on Hermione's shelf. They've Apparated to Singapore and learned how to make satay. But except for that one time, they haven't been to the movies or dinner or whatever the fuck normal couples do.
And the thing is, she doesn't care. And neither does he. They're a lot alike, she thinks sometimes.
She mentions that to him.
"Yeah. Your friends would bloody flip hearing you say that, though."
He's never brought them up before, but she knows who he means. Hermione hasn't brought them up either.
She can avoid all this some more.
But she's Hermione Granger, and so she says, "Pity I don't keep in touch with them anymore."
He looks at her inquisitively and he's so beautiful with his hair falling into his eyes that she leans forward and kisses him.
"Mm. Not that I don't appreciate it, but I do believe you're avoiding this topic."
Which is absolutely ridiculous, right? Because that's just what she was not doing. So she practices some more non-avoidance and says, "No, I'm not."
"Okay," he says, and leans back.
A couple weeks later she thinks he's depressed. He's more clingy than usual and she's been finding more alcohol sitting around than usual. She doesn't know what to do exactly, so she cuts her hours at work a bit and practically lives with him.
"You practically live here," he says.
"Yeah?
"So move in."
She doesn't have any objections, and even lets herself hope a bit that this isn't as casual as she's been telling herself it is.
She's pretty sure he's stopped being depressed. He's still clingy, though. One night, after he's pressuring her to blow off work the next day, she gets frustrated and asks him if he doesn't have anything better to do.
"Not really." He shrugs. "Don't have a job. Don't have a social life."
She snaps, "Get a hobby."
He grins at her and she feels herself smile a bit in return. "You are my hobby."
And that's stupid and a little creepy from anyone else, but it makes her think My god I really do love him. Because she blows off work the next day and they play video games and she loses badly and it's worth it, it's so very worth it.
They don't do the wizarding world much. They're both sick of having to deal with the stupid arrogance of magic-users...and, of course, the omnipresent name of Potter.
So what were the odds of running into Sir Potter himself while running a spur-of-the-moment fortune-telling business?
Hermione notices him first. "Shit! Draco, we gotta leave now."
He doesn't argue at the tone of her voice. They take off, pushing through the crowd, before they remember they can Apparate.
And then they find out they can't, as Harry Potter runs up, and of course she guesses he's put some sort of anti-apparation shit up.
"H'mione!"
And then he notices her boyfriend.
"Malfoy?"
"Full marks on identification, Potter," Draco drawls, and he's closed off now, his face perfectly blank except for a vague affected boredom.
"Malfoy!"
Harry seems unable to move on.
"What do you want, a cookie?" she snaps.
"Hermione...I know you weren't too happy with me, but Malfoy?"
"Oh, for fuck's sake..."
Harry looks like a puppy that's just been kicked. "You never used to swear when we were together."
She can't look at Draco, she knows what's going through his head, she knows him that well. Why can't Harry just die? "Look, Harry, this isn't about you and/or me. I left. Get over it. Thought you hooked up with Delacour."
"Who, Gabrielle? She's not - it was only the one time..."
"Holy sh - crap, Gabrielle? Harry, she's underage! I thought it was Fleur! How can you be so -"
And then she remembers he's not her responsibility. She doesn't have to be accountable for him. Half-unconsciously, she reaches for Draco, and likes just being able to touch him. It grounds her. Reminds her she's not that kid anymore.
"Hermione..."
"Go away, Harry."
He steps forward and grabs her arm, tighter than is comfortable. "But, I -"
"I believe the lady made a request, Potter."
She doesn't really know what happens then, and she doesn't really care.
Later, Draco says abruptly, "You were...with Potter?"
She can't see his face. "It was a mistake. It just sort of happened. And neither of us was ready for it, and neither of us actually wanted it. Messy ending, though, because Harry wanted to keep the childhood sweetheart vibe going for the media while exploring other avenues on the side. And I didn't give a dingo's kidney for the media, just that he wanted to cheat on me."
Now she can see his face, and it's still sort of broken, but she doesn't know why.
She realizes just how happy he's been lately. She hadn't noticed it before - after all, it was a gradual process - but even when she was worried that he was depressed he wasn't as...empty...as he'd been when they met in a bar months ago. Back then he was just running for no reason, not actually caring about anything beyond the next moment.
Of course, at the time she hadn't seen anything more than a pretty face and an unusual personality. The next morning, she'd made a reference to a 'next time' accidentally, but he hadn't objected.
And now...a small death is in his eyes and she just doesn't know why.
So she kisses him, touching him, trying to take the mysterious pain away.
He's withdrawn.
He's never been like that before.
He's always taken all the attention she can give and demanded more.
He's always, always, been more than free with his own attentions.
But now...it's like he's afraid to be around her. He's generally in the study when she comes home, reading, and goes to bed late. She doesn't know what to do.
One night she stays up until four, and when he finally pads through the door she's waiting.
"Draco."
"Sorry, did I wake you?"
"No."
There's absolute stillness for a moment.
"Draco...I don't like this."
He stiffens, and she can hear his breathing speed up lightly in the cold quiet of early morning. But he waits for her to continue.
She's not sure she can.
"I don't know what's wrong, but something is. I'm not stupid, I can see you've been unhappy. I don't know why, I don't know anything, but I just...want this to stop." She's babbling now. "I want to be a part of your life again. I...oh god, I don't know. I just want to help. Can I? I mean, will you let me? Can do anything anyway? Because I will if I can, you know that, you know I'd do anything for you -"
She stops short because no matter how close they've gotten she's still not quite sure it isn't a game to him. A hobby.
She's been very careful not to mess up, very careful to keep it light. She can't let him go. Now, though, she might have spooked him. Stupid. Better his in name only than not at all.
He's looking at her with some indefinable sadness in the shadows of his eyes. They're beautiful eyes. "Would you?"
She bites her lip, unsure. Not of the answer, but of where the answer will lead. She can't lie to him now, though.
"Yeah."
"Marry me."
Her world inverts, black-white-grey like his eyes, everything going bright-dark and she can hardly breathe, she can feel her heart pulse painfully and she'd always thought that that was a metaphor but it's not.
"What?"
"I thought so. Look, I know you...care for me. But Hermione? I don't know if you've noticed, but I love you. So this can't work. Because um. I love you. And I know I can't ever be the most important thing to you, like you are to me. And...I just wanted to let you know you can go back to Potter if you want. He really likes you. You can still...I don't know. Have your happy ending, or something. Don't worry about me."
This isn't the Draco she knows. Or it is, but so much more Draco than she's used to.
She should probably say something.
Now would be a good time.
He's just looking at her like he loves her but he's given up hope and her heart breaks so much for him.
She opens her mouth, and tries to say something. She's not quite sure what.
"I love you," comes out.
He gives her a politely incredulous look. She knows that closed-off expression, and hates it.
"Draco, I love you, I've loved you for ages. I never loved Harry, I thought you knew that. We were just...friends gone wrong. You and I are...something good. Something different. I'm yours as long as you'll have me, and if the offer's still open of course I'll marry you."
She's rather proud of herself for a moment; that speech could have won some sort of medal for Most Eloquent Heartfelt Sentiment. Then she can't think because he's somehow very close to her and his mouth is on hers and he's whispering, "I love you."
They don't invite Harry to the wedding.