A/N: I wanted to point out to Raziel Tepes, that the little men are not pixies, those cute little imps that inhabit fairy tales. These are PICTSIES. Think drunken Scots looking for a brawl and you have a perfect picture of these cute little creatures when they are sober. When Pictsies are drunk it is best to move to the next county until their hangovers clear up.

Also, to Ouatic-7, I was about to say no, the story was not built around this joke, but I forget which joke it was built around. Therefore, my answer is a hesitant maybe.

Thanks to everyone for reading.

Chapter Five: Fearsome Foes

The three young witches watched as the judges huddle to make their decision. Mildred Hubble was the only one of the three who was not secretly anxious to win. Tiffany Aching would not admit it, to anyone except herself, but she wanted to be proven the best witch. It would show that the gods were not very attentive. She would never point this out to them but it would be nice to KNOW she was right.

Hermione Granger also wanted to win. She would never admit it, even to herself, but she was a very competitive person. She liked to win. She liked being the smartest student at school. She liked knowing more spells than anyone else. She liked being the best. But she liked being the best because she earned it. Otherwise, she would rather lose. That was why she liked Tiffany. The girl was obviously a skilled witch despite her age. She would be good competition.

Mildred worried Hermione. It seemed that she should not be in this contest at all. True, Mildred had performed one spell, but Hermione would be pleasantly surprised to know that Tiffany agreed with her. And they both would be surprised that Mildred felt the same way.

The judges turned to face the young witches. Merlin spoke.

"With all due respect to the other two witches, we have given the first round to Tiffany Aching." He gave an odd look at death. "By a vote of two to zero with one abstention. It seems that she was able to perform the task by a simple command, whereas you, Mildred, used a chant, and you, Hermione, cast a spell using a wand."

"Ye did it, ye wee bigjob hag," Rob Anybody whispered from his hiding spot.

"Shhh," Tiffany said quickly, then looked up as everyone stared at her. "Oh, am I supposed to say something? Thank you for being so kind?"

Merlin gave her a strange look while Odin seemed amused. Death gave her another of his smiles. Again, she did not find it comforting.

"Ach," Rob began to say, too loudly.

"AND . . ." Tiffany quickly shouted, to hide the fact that Rob was there. As she said that she realized that she had to say something else. She immediately thought of something appropriate. ". . . what trick do you want us to perform next?"

"Impertinent little thing," Merlin said to his fellow judges.

SHE IS A WITCH, Death explained. ON THE DISC, WITCHES DO NOT LIKE TO HAVE THEIR TIME WASTED. UNLESS THEY DO IT THEMSELVES.

"Yeah, let's get on with it," Odin said cheerfully. "I'm sure we can skip all the conjuring tricks and get to something interesting. How about a confrontation?" He looked to the clouds where Zeus and Jove watched with mild boredom. "Shall we have each face the person one of the others finds most fearsome?"

"Done," the two chairgods said.

Hermione immediately found herself back at the copse of trees. Curious, she looked in the shade to see Thor and Freyja standing guard over the circle of marbles. They saw her and waved. Then Thor pointed behind her. She turned to see a stern-faced woman with her hair tied in a tight bun. Hermione's first reaction was a young Professor McGonagall.

"Where am I?" the woman asked angrily. "Girl, do you know what happened?"

Hermione hesitated for only a moment and drew her wand. "I will defeat you, whoever you are."

The woman glared at Hermione. "Why do I have the feeling that Mildred Hubble is involved? What did she do this time?" She pointed her finger and Hermione's wand disappeared, giving the girl a shock, figuratively and literally. "Well? I haven't got all day."

Hermione stared at her hand in surprise. "It's a contest," she explained. "By the gods. You're the person that Mildred most fears."

"Really? And why would she be afraid of me?" The woman paused. "And who are you?"

"Hermione Granger, Madam."

The woman glared at the girl. "I am not a Madam. I am a Miss. Miss Hardbroom. I'm Mildred's Potions teacher. And where is Mildred?"

"Um," Hermione said in consternation.

"UM?" Miss Hardbroom said sarcastically. "Do you really expect me to believe she's in the land of UM. For a girl your age you should have a bit more self confidence."

"I WAS expecting to fight someone," Hermione pointed out. "You were a bit of a surprise."

Miss Hardbroom gave a harsh laugh. "A bit? Then it's obvious you don't know Mildred Hubble very well. If you did you would have expected anything." She paused. "And Mildred is afraid of me? I wonder why."

"Maybe because you yell all the time?" Hermione said in a snide voice.

"I DO NOT YELL ALL THE TIME." Miss Hardbroom blushed lightly. "Well, occasionally I do." She looked questioningly at Hermione. "You said this was a contest? What ever is its purpose?"

"To determine who is the best witch."

"Then why is Mildred involved?"

Hermione paused. "I was wondering that myself. She doesn't seem to be very skilled at magic. But one of the judges, Merlin, said she defeated a Dragon."

"She isn't. And she did."

At this point, Miss Hardbroom spotted Thor and Freyja standing near the trees. "Do you know who they are, Hermione?"

"Norse gods. The boy is Thor, the god of thunder. The girl is Freyja, the goddess of fertility."

"And I suppose Odin is a little boy in knickerbockers."

Hermione's face filled with a smile. "He doesn't wear knickerbockers."

The two looked at each other and began laughing. Then Miss Hardbroom pointed to the trees. "Why don't we sit in the shade while we wait for this contest to end? I'll explain to you how the worst witch in the school defeated the most powerful Dragon Lord in the land."

As they walked to the copse of trees. Hermione felt another shock. Her wand was back in her hand. She politely put it away.

Tiffany Aching was surprised to find herself back at the place she first arrived. She was even more surprised to see an old man with a long beard holding a cup of tea. He was wearing a bright red robe covered with runes.

"Please tell me you're not a wizard."

"Albus Dumbledore, at your service," the old man said, his eyes twinkling. "And since you asked so politely, I will not tell you that I am a wizard."

Tiffany giggled, then paused in embarrassment. Witches don't giggle. That was when she remembered her conversation with Granny Weatherwax. Don't forget to live. Tiffany decided that witches do giggle. If they're young. "You must be from Hermione's world." She held out her hand as she had seen Hermione do. "I'm Tiffany Aching."

"And, Tiffany Aching, are you a witch, by any chance?" The eyes were still twinkling.

"I am, um . . ." Tiffany paused. She knew what wizards were called in her world, but she felt she shouldn't use such language around strangers. In a heartbeat, she had her answer. Seasoned witches were called Granny. And he was a seasoned wizard, from a world where wizards were clearly respectable. ". . . Grandfather Dumbledore."

Albus smiled appreciatively at the young girl. "If I may ask, Miss Aching. Do you know why I am here? And where here is?"

"The gods are having a contest. They made this world so that each contestant could use her own form of magic."

"And why am I not surprised by any of this? Is that a gift from the gods?"

Tiffany smiled as she nodded her head. This man was completely not what she expected. In two short minutes he had shown himself to be serious and wise, yet still retain a sense of humour. She envied Hermione Granger for living in such an interesting world.

"Grandfather? I was supposed to confront the person Hermione Granger feared the most. Why would you appear?"

"Ah, fear. An interesting word, child. It can mean several things. To be afraid. To be in awe. Or both, as in a fearsome beast. Miss Granger has seen me in my wrath. She knows what I am capable of doing should I chose to use my powers. It think it frightened her . . . and put her in awe of me, a little. That is probably why we are having this conversation."

Albus pulled out his wand. A table and two chairs appeared. On the table was a teapot and a cup. He told the girl to take a seat as he picked up the teapot and refilled his cup, then filled the other cup for Tiffany. As he sat down, he looked approvingly at the young girl. "Magic is a very useful tool, Miss Aching, but you must remember the most important thing about magic. You must know when not to use it."

Tiffany was in awe. "That was exactly what Granny Weatherwax told me." Then she explained. "Granny, excuse me, Mistress Weatherwax is the most powerful witch on the disc."

"She must be an extremely wise woman," Albus commented, and smiled when Tiffany blushed. For her part, Tiffany could only wish that there was a wizard in her world who was like this man.

Mildred Hubble turned with a start when she saw where she was. She was even more surprised by the person facing her. It wasn't a person at all. It was a body. An old woman dressed in black was lying still on the grass. The odd part was that she had a card on her chest which said, "I ain't dead yet."

"MISTER MERLIN," Mildred shouted, hoping someone would hear her. "I NEED HELP."

"You need to stop shouting," the old woman said suddenly as she rubbed her eyes. She sat up and looked at Mildred. "What do you need help about?"

Mildred was stunned. "I thought you were hurt or something."

"Me? Hurt? I was just doing bees. You need to keep in practice with bees."

"Yes, Ma'am," Mildred said in confusion. She went to help the old woman stand up but her hand was swatted away. So she simply stood there.

"Who are you, girl? Yer a witch, I can see that."

Mildred smiled nervously. "The hat and cape are part of my school uniform."

"That's nice. But don't overdo the book learnin' and forget about the witchin'."

"But I'm going to school to learn to be a witch."

The old woman snorted. "You can't learn to be a witch. You're a witch or you're not a witch. Take off that cloak and get rid of that hat and you'll still be a witch. It's what in you that makes a witch, um, whatever your name is."

"Mildred Hubble, Miss . . ."

"Mistress Weatherwax," the old woman said "And what are the gods up to this time?"

"You know about the gods?" Mildred was surprised.

"I can feel them." Granny looked around. "Never felt them this strong before." Her voice dropped to almost a whisper. "That always bodes ill, I know that." She looked at Mildred. "And why are we here?"

"We're supposed to fight each other, I think."

Granny smirked. "With our fists? Do you really plan to beat up a little old lady like me?"

Mildred tried to smile. "Honestly, Ma'am, I don't think I could, even if I tried."

Granny's smirk became a smile. "Should we use magic?"

Mildred frowned. "Miss Cackle teaches us only to use magic for the good we can do."

Granny's voice became almost tender while still retaining its sternness. "But sometimes we have to decide what it means to be good. And you know that, Mildred. I can see it in your face."

"Yes, " Mildred said, nodding her head.

"What did the gods tell you to do?"

"To confront the person that one of the other contestants fears most . . . no, it was finds most fearsome."

Granny Weatherwax nodded. The child was still nervous but she was beginning to relax. Knowing always helps to be in control. The trick was knowing enough to know you didn't need to know everything to be in control, at least in control of yourself. And Mildred Hubble had told Granny one other thing. The young girl from the chalk was here as well.

"I won't tell ye to stop being afraid, Mildred Hubble, but you should learn not to show you're afraid. That's half the battle."

Mildred gave her nervous nod again. "I know that, but I'm always afraid of doing things wrong. I love learning magic and everything, but I'm not very good. I'm always making mistakes with my spells."

"Do you remember your mistakes?"

Mildred blushed. "Every one."

"Good. Because it's going to happen. One day, one of those mistakes is exactly what you're going to want. So remember every one of them as clearly as you can." Granny smiled to herself as Mildred gave her an honest smile of her own. "Well, that does it for confronting fearsome people. Do you know where we can get some tea?"

Hermione was amazed at how knowledgeable Miss Hardbroom was. When magic could be learned by anyone, it was very important to know what magic would do. In Hermione's world, knowing what you intended to do was more important. Miss Hardbroom admitted that if it were true in her world, Mildred Hubble would be a very powerful witch. "It's not that Mildred is stupid, although I've called her a stupid girl many times. I simply cannot motivate that girl to apply herself to her studies. She causes most of her problems, you know, although she always manages to muddle her way through."

"Like with the Dragon Lord?" Thor asked.

Miss Hardbroom managed to smile and grimace at the same time. "Exactly. Now, I admit that the Dragon Lord would have been released from his prison anyway, which makes it even more annoying, but she would never have been in a position to do anything if she hadn't insisted on bringing along her tabby cat when we had given her a perfectly good black cat. If she hadn't hid the cat on Wizard Rowan-Webb's boat, I wouldn't have become suspicious. And if she hadn't been interrupted in her attempt to feed the cat I wouldn't have slipped on that kipper and knocked myself out."

Hermione and the gods couldn't help but laugh. They tried to apologize but Miss Hardbroom waved it off.

"These things always happen with Mildred around. But to make a long story short, Ethel Hallow, an excellent student but with a spiteful streak, loosed the boat from it moorings, and when Mildred tried to keep Tabby, and myself, from going over the falls, she accidentally beached the boat on some rocks where the Dragon Lord's horde just happened to have been hidden. Then, on a whim, she decided to wear a necklace she found in the chest. And that necklace just happened to be the amulet that protected the wearer from the Dragon Lord's power."

Hermione was laughing again. "And she saved everyone."

Miss Hardbroom nodded. "And I even had to thank Mildred for rescuing me."

"And what happened to the Dragon Lord?" Freyja asked. But she never received her answer. A gong was heard and Miss Hardbroom disappeared at that moment.

"I guess this part of the contest is over," Thor said with a shrug of his shoulders.