Chapter Eleven: We Have A Winner

The group, except for Miss Hardbroom, turned in surprise when Esme Weatherwax and Albus Dumbledore suddenly appeared.

"You were right, Esme. The gods can notice us if they want to."

"Anyone can, Albus. Most people don't want to." She snorted. "I like the way you made me sound like a clever little schoolgirl."

Albus chuckled. "I've been a teacher most of my life, my dear. It has become a habit."

"IT IS DONE."

Everyone looked up. Zeus and Jove were smiling. A rumbling noise was heard coming from the direction of the river. Joe, being on the broom, looked out over the low hills. Joe looked down when someone asked what it was. "You have to see this."

The MacFeegles quickly ran up the hill and began shouting in dismay. One by one, the others came up to look. It was Joe who spoke again.

"Hermione, do you recognize it? You and Harry saw that movie together."

"Miss Granger," Dumbledore asked in a conversational voice, "Do you know what that monstrosity is?"

Hermione nodded. "It's called a Balrog. It's a fire daemon. A very powerful one."

"You forgot to mention," Tiffany Aching pointed out, "that it's coming directly for us."

"Professor?" Hermione asked.

"Granny?" Tiffany asked.

"Don't bother asking," Miss Hardbroom told Mildred. "I have no idea what to do."

"Fire and water," Harry commented.

"Can any of you force it into the river?" Joe McClaine asked.

Granny Weatherwax spoke in a clear voice that immediately made everyone fall silent. "We'd be better off filling a bucket of water and throwing it at the creature." She looked directly at Mildred. "Wouldn't we, Mildred Hubble?"

"But, I . . ."

"That's it," Hermione said as she understood. "Remember what happened, Mildred when you tried to fill the bucket with water? Take my wand. It will make your spell stronger."

Mildred realized what Hermione meant. "I can do this."

"Do you remember how?" Miss Hardbroom asked.

Granny answered. "She remembers every mistake she ever made."

Miss Hardbroom nodded. "All right, Mildred. But please remember to do it properly this time. And use every word of power you know. And don't make up any words this time."

Mildred turned at the harsh words but saw her teacher smiling at her. With a rush of confidence, she smiled back and turned to face the oncoming monster. As a bonus, Merlin added, "Millie, show them what a real witch can do."

"Actus Flamous, Zipilong Zanzibar, Avituar Flovious, AQUA BALROG."

There was a moment of silence as a hush fell over the entire scene. Even the gods paused, watching intently as the waters of the river began to rise until it looked as though the river was flowing a hundred yards in the air. As everyone watched, including the amazed Balrog, the waters began to draw together in an unbelievably large ball, directly over the Balrog.

"That is a great amount of water," Albus said.

"You were great, Millie," Merlin shouted.

"Mildred Hubble," Hermione Granger said happily. "YOU are the best witch in my book."

"This is amazing," Joe said appreciatively

"It's going to be coming down soon," Granny Weatherwax noted.

"You cast that spell perfectly," Tiffany Aching told Mildred.

"You made up most of those words," Miss Hardbroom pointed out.

"The monster is done for," Harry Potter noted

"It's going to make a very big splash," Dumbledore said with a certain concern.

Granny Weatherwax nodded. "You are a master of understatement, Albus?"

"Thank you, Esme, but I would suggest that those of us who can, run as quickly as possible."

"We can't all run fast enough," Merlin pointed out in sudden panic.

"We can," Rob Anybody shouted as several hundred pictsies suddenly appeared. "Which of ye wan' a ride?"

"How?" Hermione asked.

Tiffany smiled. "They had to travel between worlds when they worked for the Queen of Fairy. If they've been there, they can always get back."

The next second, both witches felt themselves being lifted off their feet.

The race was on. Joe McClaine, being on the broom, was the only one to watch what happened, and made it a point to fly as high as possible first. The water fell on the Balrog with catastrophic results. Especially for the Balrog. But the first thing the boy noticed was the great ball of steam that began to rise.

He did not bother watching after that. On the ground they were racing away from the giant wave of water that formed. In the air, it was a race against an expanding cloud of burning steam.

The pictsies were true to their word and carried everyone, including three cats, (one of which was extremely uncooperative) away from the advancing wall of water. They finally stopped when they reached the crest of a familiar hill, at least familiar to Hermione. On the other side was the glade where she first appeared and the copse of trees where she first met Odin. Behind them, the waters had finally subsided after washing over too many hills.

Walking up the hill to greet them were Thor and Freyja, as well as a strange man in a suit and tie. Joe landed the broom and began the introductions. Three witches listened intently.

"Hermione, Tiffany, Mildred. This is Loki. He told us that the gods are forbidden to tell us what's going on but he did let me make a copy of his brain pattern." He paused to catch his breath then rushed back into his speech. "The gods, by majority vote, want to make all the worlds the same. Same shape, same land masses and, depending on if they survive, the same kind of people. The problem is they need a clear and obvious winner to this contest in order to go ahead with their plans. They have to prove that one world is 'better' than another."

Tiffany frowned. "And then they'll choose the 'best' world to copy."

Mildred looked up as Joe began his explanation. There was a new boy standing next to her.

"Hi. I'm Thor. That was a pretty neat spell you cast."

"Thank you," Mildred said politely as Thor took her hand into his. "I'm glad you liked it."

"I was wondering," Thor asked. "I know I'm a god and you're a witch, but, um, are you dating or anything?"

Mildred giggled in surprise, then turned as Merlin grabbed her other hand in his.

"I happen to be a 'close male companion', if that's what you mean by anything."

Thor smiled rakishly. "Is that true, Mildred? Are the two of you 'close'?"

Mildred pulled both hands free and put them to her face as she blushed. "We're not like that," She insisted nervously. "I mean, well we like each other, but not like that, I mean . . ."

"I understand," Thor told her. "Good luck to the two of you. Do you know if Hermione is going with anyone?" He grinned and walked over to Freyja

"Are you happy, sister? I did as you asked and now those two will blush every time they look at each other. Is that what you really wanted?"

Freyja smiled. "Of course it is, brother. These two are alike in this one thing. Now they know how each other feels instead of spending years wondering. They will wed that much sooner and have more children as a result. I am the goddess of fertility, you know. You should expect these things from me."

Thor caught Merlin's eye and made a kissing motion while he nodded his head in Mildred's direction. He and Freyja laughed as Merlin turned red as a beet. They looked down to see Tiffany glaring at them.

"Don't worry," Freyja told the girl. "You'll do whatever you want, anyway. It wouldn't do to tell you anything."

"Good," Tiffany said in a menacing voice to hide her relief. The last thing she wanted was another god interfering with her life.

"Sister," Thor said as Tiffany walked away. "I know that look. What do you have planned?"

Freyja smiled. "When this is over, Joe McClaine will have to explain himself to the Duke's son. I'll suggest if he gets the chance to mention the witch. That should be enough."

Thor nodded in appreciation. "And the third witch?"

"Her mind is made up already, but some things cannot be hurried."

"WE HAVE A WINNER."

The gods were smiling as they looked down on the crowd of people, pictsies and gods. Zeus and Jove grinned even wider as both gazed directly at Mildred Hubble. Zeus was almost laughing as he spoke.

"Congratulations, child. You have won our contest and proved our point to the committee that one world can be better than another. And before we transform the multiverse, you are permitted to ask us three questions."

Everyone shared the same feeling of dread when they heard those words. Even Thor and Freyja. The one odd exception was Mildred. Instead she looked happy at winning the contest. With an innocent smile she asked her first question.

"Is it true what they said? That you're going to make all the worlds alike."

"It is, child. Of all the possible worlds, we have chosen the best and we will make each universe match the one with that world." Jove paused in his answer. "Doesn't that worry you? It seems to bother your companions?"

"Oh, no, Mister Jove, Sir. It sounds wonderful. I've been trying to understand two other worlds and that was confusing enough."

"An enlightened child," Jove said to Zeus, who nodded in return. "And your second question, my dear."

Mildred still had her innocent smile as she asked the next question.

"Is it one of your worlds by any chance? I mean, you two seem to be the most powerful gods, I thought, well, you know, if I would have to wear a toga or something."

The two gods laughed with delight. The girl was worried about how she would have to dress. Jove smiled expansively.

"If you like, we could make an exception for you, although I think you would look rather nice in a toga."

"Oh, please don't make an exception for me, Sir. It just that all my clothes are black or grey or both. It would be wonderful being able to wear something light and airy, especially when it's hot outside."

"And your last question?" Zeus asked.

Mildred laughed ingenuously. "I was just curious. Which one of you is going to change his name?"

The smiles on the twin gods froze in place.

"Excuse me," two voices asked.

"Well, if everything is going to be the same, that means the gods are going to be the same, which means that you both have to have the same name. I was wondering which one you'll choose, or if you'll choose another name altogether."

The two gods paused and looked at each other. Mildred simply smiled.

Odin laughed in delight as he made his appearance moments after Mildred asked her last question. Only now were people beginning to realize what Mildred had done.

"Clever girl," Granny Weatherwax said. "You even told us, Odin, the gods are not very good at the small details."

Loki looked surprised. "Dad, is that why you picked her? That wasn't part of our plan." His look of surprise became one of indignation. "YOU TRICKED ME. You said she was just a filler."

"I know I'm a bit slow here," Merlin Ambrosius said, "but could I get an explanation."

Merlin Langspear walked up next to him. "We'd like one, too."

Joe walked up to Loki. "May I?" Loki nodded and Joe 90 put on his glasses.

"Everyone, the plan was simple. The gods wanted this contest to prove that one world could be considered better than another world. If they did prove this, then the majority agreed to change the multiple universes into identical versions of each other, based on the 'best' world. The contest was set up so that someone had to win."

"The contest was rigged," Hermione Granger noted.

"Not at all, my dear," Albus Dumbledore pointed out. "Many contests are set up with the assurance that one contestant or team will win."

"And it wasn't unfair," Odin stated, "It allowed for the possibility that there could be a tie."

Joe 90 and Loki laughed. Loki nodded that Joe should continue. "It did, but the gods could call for an extra round to break the tie, if the contestants agreed. Of course they didn't tell the contestants the true purpose of the contest. That is why Dad, um sorry, Odin and Loki worked out a plan. I was supposed to reveal the secret of the contest before the task at the cave was concluded. Unfortunately, one of the Nac Mac Feegle took an unexpected liking to Mildred and ended the contest prematurely. Otherwise, Hermione Granger could have won the round, creating a tie, and you would have known to refuse another round."

"Then I'm ta blame?" Daft Wullie asked.

"Yes, you are," Loki said thanklessly.

"And to praise," Odin said before the little red-haired man could react. "I knew that Zeus and Jove would force a win. But I also knew that they had forgotten a few of the small details. And that happens to be my specialty. I remember about the small details. That is why I chose Mildred."

"Deception," Hermione Granger said. "Mildred Hubble, nothing but trouble. Who would ever expect anything from her?"

"And she always comes through," Miss Hardbroom said as she put her hands on the young girl's shoulders. "Although I will need the gods to explain to me how."

"I can do that," Mildred said with a smile. "It was Ethel Hallow. She was teasing me first year when I made a mistake in chanting. She was telling her friend Drusilla how horrible it would be to make a mistake like that. If she did, she would have to call herself Mildred out of shame. And Enid said that would be a shame because if Ethel took my name she might think we were saying good things about HER."

Miss Hardbroom blinked her eyes. "Now, can either of you gods tell me how Mildred came through."

Mildred frowned.

"If you will forgive the intrusion," Zeus said with a mix of apology and annoyance. "We know that Odin did object to our plans and we do acknowledge that there are a few unforseen details to be worked out before they are put into effect." The clouds around him formed the figure of an angry woman. ("I think that's Hera," Hermione whispered.) The woman said something to Zeus, who nodded. "On behalf of the gods, we would like to thank Mildred Hubble for pointing out one of the small details that slipped our minds." Zeus looked back at Hera who was still glaring at him. "And we would like to give her a gift to show our gratitude."

Hera smiled.

"They're thanking me?" Mildred asked in surprise.

THEY ARE BRIBING YOU, Death replied. THE LAST THING THE GODS WANT IS A TEENAGE SCHOOLGIRL TALKING ABOUT HOW SHE OUTSMARTED THEM.

"It isn't that," Jove said indignantly. "Although we must insist that all of you refrain from discussing this matter once you leave here."

Death looked up at the cloud figures of the gods and smiled. Tiffany Aching noticed that his smile had the same effect on them as it did on her.

I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT THEY WILL BE CIRCUMSPECT IN WHAT THEY SAY. THEY WILL BE TALKING ABOUT GODS, AFTER ALL.

"Your word is good enough for us," Jove said.

Behind him, Zeus could be heard. "We should have picked Morpheus. At least he can smile properly." He realized he had spoken aloud. "Mildred, what would you like? Riches? Fame?" He smiled temptingly. "Divinity? To live with the gods?"

Mildred paused in thought, overwhelmed at the choices offered her. She could even be a goddess. That would make Ethel Hallow turn green with envy. She also noticed all of her friends watching her. And she did consider every person there to be a friend. Even the pictsies. And Mildred thoughts ended on that note. Even the pictsies. Especially one pictsie who even now was playing with Tabby. Any choice she made would mean the end of their friendships, because they would all go back to their own worlds never to be meet again.

"Daft Wullie."

"Aye, Mildred."

"Once I make my decision, we'll go being home."

"Aye," Daft Wullie said happily. Then he saw Mildred's frown. He looked at Tabby and then he also frowned. "Aye." He smiled again. "Ye could come wi' us."

Mildred smiled as an idea made itself known. "Maybe to visit." She looked up at the gods. "Is there a way we could visit each other? All of us. I don't want to lose my friends."

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A/N: I want to thank Ouatic-7 for pointing out my spelling error. Phased is now fazed as it should be. I would like to point out that if this were a Star Trek story, I would have been correct. ("I apologize for Mildred," Miss Hardbroom told Captain Kirk. "At the school, they know never to let her around photon torpedoes.)

As an asidum, I know that the Nac Mac Feegle are popular. (Almost every reviewer has said so.) You should check out "THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE," by FYRIE. The story number is 2178910 if that is helpful. It is the best Pictsie/Potter story I have found.

Thanks again to everyone who has been reading and especially to the reviewers.