Don't own BR. Never have; never will. ( sob )
The Assassin's Shadow
Chapter Two: Fragments of memory
"Keeeeeeeeennnnnjjjjiiiii? Are you heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere? Are you awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake?"
Well, if he wasn't before, Uriko Nonomura thought with a slight, embarrassed giggle, he's sure to be now. Hope he's not in one of those contemplative moods again. Maybe that's why Yugo told me to come bug him for a little while. Oh well, if he's cranky, I'll just blame it all on Yugo.
"Kenji!" she called, taking the stairs two at a time. There was no answer, which was weird. She couldn't ever remember Kenji staying in bed till mid-afternoon. Even as hyperactive as she could be sometimes, weekends and holidays meant sleeping in till noon and lazing around in her pajamas, like every normal teenager. Not so with Kenji. He'd finally learned not to call her before noon on weekends, after being snarled at several times for waking her up, usually at some ungodly hour like seven or eight in the morning. The boy simply did not sleep. "Kenji Ohgami!" she yelled outside the door to his room, feeling a malicious glee now that the shoe was on the other foot. "Its way too late in the afternoon to be asleep! And since you weren't at school today, I thought I'd be thoughtful and bring you all your homewo..."
She stopped, frozen, her stomach doing an unpleasant backflip when she saw the state of his room; specifically, the shattered mirror, and the vivid trail of blood leading down the hall towards the bathroom.
"Kenji!"
Charging wildly down the corridor, she tried to make sense of the situation. It looked like Kenji had punched the mirror in a state of rage, but Uriko had never, never seen him lose his temper in that way. Kenji's anger, when it appeared, was a cold, silent killer, as the quiet teenager disappeared to give way to the ninja assassin he once was. She might throw a tantrum and pound her walls and pillows in a childish rage, and there was a suspicious hole in the Ohgami kitchen that might have been from a Yugo sized fist, but for Kenji to lose his temper and smash in his mirror was mind-boggling.
The sound of running water was coming from inside the bathroom, but when the young girl tried the door, she found it was locked.
"Kenji!" she yelled again, pounding on the wooden barrier. "Kenji! Are you in there? Are you all right?"
"I'm fine, Uriko," came Kenji's calm, even voice from the other side. Any relief she might have felt, however, instantly vanished at the sound of breaking glass and a quiet curse. "Go back downstairs, Riko," the voice muttered. "I'll be out in a minute, okay?"
"Kenji Ohgami, you open up this door before I rip it off its hinges!" Uriko bellowed, beginning her frantic pounding again. The door stayed firmly shut, and she raised her voice. "Don't think I won't do it, Kenji! If Yugo comes home and asks me why there is a door sitting in the middle of the living room, I'm going to tell him I thought you were trying to slit your wrists again!"
She had actually begun the transformation to her cat-beast mode, intending to sink her claws into the flimsy barrier and find out what the hell Kenji was doing, when the door abruptly whooshed open and she found herself staring into the exasperated gray eyes of her boyfriend.
"Oh. There you are." Uriko tried to cover up her embarassment, quickly hiding her claws behind her back. Kenji's expression didn't change, but at that moment, Uriko noticed his hand and gasped, her paws flying to her mouth.
"Oh, my god, Kenji! What did you do?"
Her boyfriend winced. "Something really stupid; don't tell Yugo, okay?"
"Oh, for goodness--sit down," Uriko continued, pushing him back into the bathroom and plunking him down on the toilet seat. The room was a complete mess. Blood was everywhere; spattered on the sink, the toilet, the bathtub, even the walls where he had fumbled for the light. A red soaked towel lay on the counter, a pair of tweezers beside it where Kenji had been trying to pull glass shards from his skin. Adding to the mess was a shattered bottle of rubbing alcohal on the floor, and the smell of it made her eyes water.
Kenji gazed at her mournfully as she snatched up the tweezers and fished under the sink for a new towel. "Really made a mess of things, didn't I?"
Uriko huffed and turned on him, her slender hands on her hips. She intended to give him a scolding, but he was sitting there so dejectedly, cradling his mangled hand and looking much like a chastised puppy, that she couldn't be harsh with him. "You can tell me what happened later," she sighed, sitting on the edge of the tub, careful not to step on any broken glass or sit in any bloodstains. "Here, let me see that hand."
For the next few minutes, silence reigned as Uriko carefully plucked slivers of glass from Kenji's hand, trying not to wince at the gruesomeness of the task. Kenji did not flinch or make a sound through the long, torturous process, not even when a grimacing Uriko retrieved what little alcohal remained in the broken bottle and poured it over his wounds. Binding his hand with a long strip of gauze, she was forced to wrap all his fingers together, so that it looked like he was wearing a white oven mitt when she was done.
"Well, you won't be playing softball for awhile, but that should do it," she finished, tying off the guaze and throwing the bloody rags in the garbage can. Kenji examined her work critically. Only his thumb stuck out of the white bandages, and he wiggled it experimentaly.
"I won't be able to write for awhile, either," he said in a curiously cheerful voice. Uriko glanced down, and he gave her a faint grin. "Looks like you'll have to do all my homework for me now, Riko."
"Oh, ha ha. In your dreams, Mole-boy." The immediate catastrophy resolved, she started on the minor one; namely, getting the bathroom looking like a bathroom again and less like a war zone. "Besides," she stated as she went to work on a nasty looking clot, "I happen to know that you're perfectly literate with both hands, so that line isn't going to get you anywhere." Kenji watched her for a moment, then pushed himself off the toilet seat.
"Here," he said gently, as she began to wipe the blood from the sink, and the tub, and the walls. "I should get that, Riko. You've done enough already."
She slapped his good hand away. "If you want to be helpful, Mr. Ohgami, I would worry about getting those icky bloodstains out of the carpet," she told him firmly, continuing her task. "Unless you want Yugo to come home and think you've been killing chickens or something."
Kenji blanched. "Good point," he confessed, and scurried out of the bathroom.
For the better part of the evening, Kenji and Uriko worked in unison, trying to erase all signs of Kenji's "accident" before Yugo returned home. Uriko polished the bathroom until it sparkled, while Kenji scrubbed the carpet free of all telltale red stains. Then, together, they picked up the broken mirror shards and dumped them, as well as the mirror itself, into the dumpster down the road. Finally, it was done, and they both collapsed on the couch in front of the television, tired, sweaty, and relieved that it was over.
Kenji raked his good hand through his damp hair, letting his head fall back on the armrest with a groan. Uriko lounged on the other end, cracking open a soda and swigging half the can in one gulp.
"God, that was more cleaning than I've done in a year," Uriko sighed, passing the can to Kenji, who finished the rest and crunched the can in his fist. "I don't think my room has ever looked as good as your bathroom does right now. I mean, you can see your reflection in the toilet seat."
"Thanks, Riko," Kenji murmured, raising his head to gaze at her fondly. "Sorry about the sucky afternoon. I'll make it up to you, I promise."
"Kenji, what happened today? Its not like you to go punching innatimate objects. That's Yugo's job."
Kenji's eyes immediately became haunted, and he glanced away. "Nothing," he murmured, in a barely audible voice. "A bad dream."
"You are such a bad liar, Kenji Ohgami." Uriko sat up and glared at him. He wouldn't meet her gaze. "Come on, Kenji; you know you can tell me anything." She scooted closer to him, and felt him tense up, which made her a little sad. "I thought we were past all these secrets."
"Uriko...."
"Why don't you trust me, Kenji?"
"I do." Kenji sounded genuinely surprised, and finally turned to look at her, his gaze intense. "I do, Riko. You're the one I trust the most, you and Yugo. I.....I just can't trust myself, is all."
Uriko's expression softened, knowing exactly what was bothering him now. Bothering him still, she corrected herself. Even after all this time. He's still worried about Bakuryu.
Kenji had his "brooding" face on now, the one where he would slip into a dark depression and nothing you could say would convince him of his own self-worth. These occasions were rarer than they used to be, but they still scared Uriko to death, reminding her of that time when Kenji's self-loathing and guilt became so intense he tried to kill himself one rainy afternoon after school. It was a couple years ago, when she and Kenji were first getting acquainted, after he'd returned from the lab with Gado. He was a quiet lone wolf; she the most popular girl in school. No one, not even herself, knew what she was thinking when she began the arduous task of befriending him. He intrigued her, she supposed. Besides being a fellow Zoanthrope and an ex-ninja assassin to boot, he was different from the silly, immature boys surrounding her in droves. Looking back, she knew she got on his nerves sometimes, following him around school and yapping at him nonstop. But, gradually, as she got to know him better, she realized that there was so much more to Kenji Ohgami than she first thought. She came to know the pain he suffered daily; the guilt eating him up inside for the lives he had taken under Busuzima's control. She saw the way he struggled to be normal; she caught glimpses of his kindness, his insecurity, and his small flashes of humor. And, by the time the semester was almost finished, she realized that she was falling in love with him.
She didn't know why she was poking around his desk that day. Maybe it was because Kenji seemed more distant and sad than usual. Maybe it was her own animal senses telling her something was wrong. He had that same "brooding" mask on the whole day, and she couldn't shake the feeling of dread in her stomach whenever she saw Kenji retreat from the world, time and again. He vanished as soon as the bell rang, and Uriko, being nosy though she didn't know why, sniffed around his desk and found a note folded neatly inside. It was in Kenji's handwriting, and reading it made her blood turn to ice.
She found him in the boy's restroom, hunched over in one of the stalls, a razor poised to slice across his wrist.
When she screamed, Kenji shot out, grabbed her, and slammed her back into the stall with him, one hand clamped over her mouth, the other at her throat. His hard gray eyes bore into hers. She would never forget how he looked that day; like she was staring Bakuryu in the face once again. She was terrified, but at least the razorblade had been dropped and was lying forgotten at her feet.
"Don't interfere, Uriko!" he hissed, and despite the terrible Bakuryu mask, she could see his eyes shining with tears. "I know what I'm doing. Its better this way, trust me."
She shook her head wildly in disagreement, clawing at the hand over her mouth. Kenji didn't relent. He was insanely strong. Keeping a firm grip on her jaw, he dragged her upright, over the toilet, and pushed her out of the stall.
"Go," he said coldly as she whirled on him. "By the time you run and get the teachers, it'll be done." He crouched to retrieve the razor, never taking his eyes from her. His gaze softened as he rose with the tool in hand. "You were a good friend, Uriko. Thank you. I'm so sorry, for everything." His voice shook, and he closed his eyes, momentarily. "Go on," he whispered, gesturing at the door with the razor. "Go tell the principal. You don't want to see this."
"I'm not leaving," Uriko replied shrilly, as her own eyes swam with tears. "Kenji, what are you doing? Please don't do this! Please please--"
"I have to." Kenji's calm whisper didn't match the agony on his face. "I can't take it anymore. I can't be normal, Uriko, and I've tried so hard. You don't understand what its like--"
"You think I don't have problems?" Uriko cried, on the verge of hysteria. "That I don't know what you're going through? Look at me, Kenji Ohgami! We're the same! The same! You and me and Yugo and Alice; we only have each other, and we know what its like to be different. If you..." she choked on tears, and took a ragged breath to calm herself. "...if you do this, Kenji, you'll be hurting even more people, worse than before!"
"What?"
"That's right!" Uriko pointed an accusing finger at his shocked face. "Bet you didn't even think about that, did you? You'll be hurting Yugo and Mr. Gado, Alice, Master Long....and....and me!"
"I don't....I don't understand....Uriko--"
"Because they care about you, stupid! Every one of them! The ones you leave behind always suffer the most!" She couldn't breathe for a few moments, as sobs wrenched up from her throat and made speaking impossible. Kenji just stood there, looking more lost than she ever remembered. Uriko covered her face with her hands and sobbed.
"Don't....go....Kenji...." she whispered, hiccuping with the effort. "Don't....go.....we'll miss you....so much.....I'll....miss....you...."
She jumped a foot in the air when a soft hand touched her arm. Looking up, she saw Kenji through a blur of tears, his face white and defeated. He stared at her sadly for a moment, then held out his hand, the gleaming length of the razor lying on his palm. Offering it to her. Letting her take it away from him. She picked it up gingerly, biting her lip, then threw her arms around his neck with a wail and sobbed into his chest. Kenji's arms encircled her waist as he bent his head to her shoulder, and she could feel his own tears on her neck.
With a start, Uriko wrenched herself back to the present. They were not fifteen anymore, holding onto each other desperately, in the smoke filled stall of the boy's restroom. And the young man lying beside her was no longer the tortured boy, fighting a constant, losing battle with himself. At least, not all of the time. There were times, like now, when Kenji's old past rose up to haunt him, and Uriko had to bring him back to the present. She could see that blank mask beginning to drop over his features, and acted quickly to distract him.
"Oi," she said, tapping his nose before he could slip away from her. He blinked, and his eyes focused on her again. "You worry too much, you know that? Think about something else. Like, what do you want for your birthday?"
"My.....what?"
"Birthday," Uriko repeated. "Day of birth. You know, that day when you were born. Birth. Day."
"I know, Riko," Kenji said with a wry smirk. "I just....has it been that long already?"
Uriko smiled at him sadly. "That first year, Kenji and Yugo were too busy settling him in to worry about things like birthdays and birth cetificates. Kenji had no memory of anything before, even his age, so several months went by before Alice finally stepped in. The nurse was able to determine around how old Kenji was and when his date of birth was, within the month at least. Kenji admitted that it was weird when they finally presented him with a birth cetificate. Here was proof that he was alive, he'd confessed to her later. Here was the evidence of his existence as a real human being. Uriko had gotten a little teary eyed at that, and she wasn't the only one.
"So? So?" she prodded, bouncing up and down on the couch. "I need an answer, Mole-boy. What is it you want?"
Kenji looked up at her, directly into her eyes, and smiled faintly. "I already have everything I need."
Uriko stopped bouncing. Sometimes, Kenji could render her speechless without even trying. "You....you're just trying to butter me up so I'll get you a really cool present," she joked, feeling a little out of breath at the way he was staring at her.
"Ah. Well, you caught me, there." Reaching up, Kenji snagged her wrist and gently pulled her down to him. "What if I ask for my present a little early, then?" he whispered, brushing his lips over her neck and setting loose a swarm of butterflies in her stomach.
"Uhm...." Uriko murmured intellegently, closing her eyes. Kenji's hand found the back of her head, and as their lips met, she forgot everything, past and future, and surrendered completely to the present.
"Well! Looks like you're feeling better, little bro!"
The teenagers leaped apart, blushing furiously, as Yugo grinned at them from the doorway.
"Don't mind me," he chuckled, striding into the room. Uriko noticed Kenji quickly put his injured hand under a cushion. "I'm just gonna get a shower. Please, carry on." He waved at them cheerfully, enjoying their humiliation, and bounded up the stairs, taking three at a time. Uriko held her breath as he entered the bathroom, and Kenji was as still as a rock.
"What the--!"
Both teens cringed. Yugo's face popped out of the bathroom and glared at them.
"Kenji!"
Kenji winced. "Yeah?" he answered as casually as he could.
"Um, do me a favor. Run to the store and grab some toilet paper, will ya?"
Uriko felt the tension dissapate, and Kenji stood up with a barely concealed sigh of relief. "Sure, no problem."
"Thanks." And Yugo's head disappeared into the room. Uriko giggled.
"Well." Kenji shot her a sidelong glance. "Care to join me on a quest for toilet paper?"
Uriko bounced to her feet, waving an imaginary sword. "Lead on, good knight!" she cried in grandiose tones. "I will guard your back, should you have to fight an evil, firebreathing plumber with the mighty plunger of virtue, and rescue yon fair maiden of the outhouse."
Kenji raised an eyebrow. "No more caffine for you."
Uriko was struck with another giggling fit and unable to reply. Giving her an odd look, Kenji started towards the door. Suddenly, he stumbled to a halt, a strange look on his face, like he was in a daze. Uriko saw him wince, then shake his head, like he was trying to clear it.
"Kenji? You okay?"
Kenji didn't answer. With growing concern, Uriko saw him sway on his feet, and put his hand on the wall as if trying to steady himself. Alarmed, Uriko started towards him, intending to grab him and lead him back to the couch, then yell for Yugo to get down here because she was frightened and couldn't deal with this herself.
She never made it. Kenji looked up at her with haunted gray eyes, made a strangled sound in the back of his throat, and collapsed.
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Wheeeeeeeeee, another chapter done. Everyone's been so nice to review; I can't thank you enough. You're the Glade candles in the stinky bathroom of life. Okay, bad analogy. Sorry, its close to four am, and I must crawl off to bed. Oyasuminasai!
SilverKitsune