When an Angel Lost Her Wings
Sakura's Note: You shouldn't have to read an author's note…it's the first time I've updated in a year (exactly, almost) and I finally got around to writing this chapter. Some of it had already been completed, but when I sat down to write, my mind wouldn't work.
The ideas are coming back to me, and I'm getting inspired again.
I'd like to finish this story up over the summer, as well as Mission Completed. Hopefully, that will become reality.
Thank you for everyone who reviewed for this story. This chapter, (and cookies if I give them out over the net) is for you.
.-..-.
Chapter 8: One in a Million
.-..-.
Miroku leaned deeper into Sango's back, turning a single dove's feather over and over again in his hands. "Sango?"
"Yes, Miroku?"
"How did you die?" He knew it was a touchy subject, so when he felt her back stiffen at the question he wasn't that surprised. "I know it was a year or so before Kagome came, but I never learned how." There was a long pause, giving him enough time to think better of have asking. Finally he heard a sigh and felt him falling backward slightly.
Sango gave a small laugh, crawling over to the edge of the cage, looking down at the city of Tokyo. "I figured that you would ask while we were here."
Miroku rose an eyebrow. How do you always know? "If you don't want to--"
Her eyes followed a car down below, driving home, and then stopping at one of many faraway houses. "On the way home from the pharmacy with my brother Kohaku's medicine, the engine gave out. I knew that street, it was only a ten minute walk from my house. So…I walked. The last thing I remember is a man, then a thud, and a scream coming from somewhere down the road. Then, I found myself here, what I guess was a few days later."
Miroku looked at her, then the floor of the cage. "You don't know what really happened, do you?"
Sango continued to look off, searching through the amount of remaining happy memories from the last year of her life. Kagome and her shopping, blowing out the candles on a cake, petting her cat, and then the only sad memory she would ever remember. "No."
.-..-.
Kagome dropped the keys on the kitchen table, taking a moment to soak up sun from the curtained window. It was a beautiful day, one worthy of a visit to heaven for sure. Maybe Sango would have the time to talk. She had not been to heaven in a while. It took Kagome a moment to realize the house was silent, and for a Sunday afternoon that was very uncommon. Inuyasha could always be found in there, searching the Internet madly for cases similar to that of Kikyo's.
"Inuyasha?" Kagome left the groceries on the kitchen counter, walking throughout the house in search of her Innocent. She heard a noise coming from her room, but nothing else.
As she continued down the hallway she began to get whiff after whiff of something. After a few more whiffs she could have sworn it was--
"You're back from all the errands I gave you early…" Inuyasha muttered. He climbed down one of the two ladders, leaving the other man to look down from his spot up by the ceiling.
Kagome looked at the half-painted walls, now no longer a plain white, but a brilliant sky blue. "You're repainting the guest room."
"Well, it's your room right now, and it seemed a bit--"
"Dull?"
Inuyasha shot the man a glare, "Kagome, meet my cousin Hiten. He's got a mouth the size of Osaka on him, but he's reliable."
"Oh, thanks." Hiten scoffed, giving Kagome a once over, and then a slower twice over. "You must be Kagome."
"That's what I just said, dumb ass!"
"I was gonna say it before you introduced me for me!" Hiten argued, abandoning his job to further bicker with his cousin.
Kagome began to laugh, only realizing it when both men turned to look at her bemusedly. Hiten, who had only met her, had to admit to himself to things; one, that Kagome could have easily passed as his cousin-in-law's twin, and two, there was something about her, something he couldn't explain, that made his cousin's eyes glimmer with a feeling he refused to place.
.-..-.
The two sat out on the balcony, staring up at the stars as they heard Kagome head to her room for the night. When she told then both good night, they replied, finding themselves sitting once again in silence.
"You know I hate you, right?" Hiten said lightly, not even bothering to look at Inuyasha. Instead, he took another sip of his soda with a half grin on his face.
"I've always known that." Inuyasha joked, punching him on the arm.
"Seriously," Inuyasha looked over at him as he spoke. "You were married to Kikyo, possibly the reincarnate of Mother Teresa, and then a week after she leaves us another wonderful woman comes into your life."
"It's not like that- We're not together!" Inuyasha looked down at his half empty bottle of Coke, watching as the fizz bubbles popped at the surface. "She was almost raped and had nowhere to go. I couldn't just ditch her after calling the police for her. She doesn't have anyone else."
"Sure."
"I'm serious!"
"Dude, you are smitten." Hiten held up a hand the moment Inuyasha opened his mouth to object. "You are."
"No, I'm not. What kind of person would fall in love two months after their wife died?"
"I admit, it is a tad soon…" Hiten trailed off, looking down at the lighted city of Tokyo. "Kikyo would want you to move on, she never held you back from anything in life, Inuyasha. She wouldn't start now. Maybe Kagome being here to soothe your pain is a gift from her."
"Don't you see this is different?", Inuyasha argued. "This isn't a new car or business op, Hiten, this is another woman. And even if she objected, how could I fall in love so soon? Did that mean that we weren't happy? That we weren't in love? I know we had a rocky year a while back, but we got over it--"
Inuyasha ran a hand through his hair, "I admit, Kagome is…something, but I won't sit here and say that I'm in love or like with her."
"Then you should stop with the signals, then." Hiten grunted, leaning back in his chair. "She seems like a kind person, don't lead her on."
"Keh. What signals?"
Hiten breathed in through his teeth, staying silent until he could find the right words. His cousin was harder to talk to when he got angry, and when he was angry it was usually because he didn't know what to do – got confused – and was angry that he didn't know the answer. It definitely seemed like one of those times.
"You act… different… when you're around Kagome. Now that I think about it, I don't think even you know you're doing it." Inuyasha looked at him, seeing only true concern on his cousin's face. "You might not want to fall in love so soon, but it looks like you are."
"Keh." It wasn't true, so why did it scare him so much?
.-..-.
The darkened living room fit his mood perfectly. It had been two months, and he was healing, albeit slowly, since his wife had died. It was December now, the holiday season. His eyes lowered to the table, then down to the TV stand.
"Ok, I'm off." Kikyo gave a nervous sigh and looked around once more for things she might have missed while packing. "There's food in the fridge, and the pasta's in the oven for tonight."
Inuyasha smiled at her, watching her fridge and looking for anything to delay the inevitable.
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" Kikyo looked up at her with frightened eyes, "I know you didn't feel so good yesterday…"
"Kikyo."
"Huh?"
"Go. I'll be fine. You'll be fine. If we could afford it, I'd go with you, but the office has been hectic lately. So, go do the seminar and don't worry. The plane won't crash."
He knew of his wife's fear of flying, that's why they had taken a cruise to Hawaii for their honeymoon instead. She refused to ride a plane.
"Alright." Kikyo nodded, kissing him lovingly. She turned to leave, turning the door knob to allow a burst of sunlight to enter the home. "Oh, before I forget…" She pulled open her briefcase, pulling out a tape from one of the side pockets. "If I, um, don't come back… Watch this."
"…Kikyo-"
"Just…watch it if I don't come back."
"You're not gonna die, you're worrying yourself sick."
Something in her eyes made him feel uneasy. He'd heard people knew a little ahead of time if they died, but this was ridiculous. "Goodbye."
Of course, she had come back, and he had forgotten all about the tape. It had been a year ago. He didn't think he'd ever need it. But now, he was curious. Where had he put it? He checked underneath the stand where they put most of their VHS movies before they had converted to the digital age.
He dropped to the floor, sliding one of the two wooden panels to the right, and looked around inside for the home videos. He found them with a triumphant smile.
Inuyasha and Kikyo - Our Wedding. Inuyasha smirked at her predictable red hearts around 'Wedding' and continued sifting.
Honeymoon (Hawaii), Kagura & Sesshoumaru: Wedding, Kaede's Graduation. The tapecontained a yellow sticky note with (Inuyasha: Make Copy For K&S Later), Sayo at the Zoo, Sayo at Tokyo Disney.
The rest were all copied or bought movies and shows.
Inuyasha cursed colorfully. Where was it? Surely, he hadn't taped over it… After about a minute of staring into the dark cabinet, he saw an unlabeled tape, no cover for it in sight.
He grabbed it, hoping that this was the tape. It's the last time I'll ever hear something new coming from her… The tape brought a frightening finality to everything. It meant that Kikyo was really gone, no new experiences would ever occur…
Once Inuyasha had turned on the VCR and lowered the volume so as not to wake Kagome, the traditional black and white snow filled the screen. Then, lines of color began to streak across, and finally a picture.
The news.
Why would anyone tape the news? A moment later, there was a pop of static and then there she was.
She had taped over something from way before. She stared at the screen for a moment, giving him time to soak up her image. Then her hand reached forward and the camera shut off. A second later the news returned. For a minute, he thought it was gone, but it reappeared, Kikyo staring at him.
"If you're watching this, it's because I…didn't come back." Kikyo's eyes looked pained and scared. "And, there's more than one reason that I wouldn't."
What does she mean more than one?
.-..-.
Inuyasha sat there, still watching the screen.
"…know you. I know you, Inuyasha. We both know what's going on in your mind right now. You're thinking about swearing you'll die alone, and you'll come for me as soon as you can. I appreciate it."
The widower felt his heart fall to his feet. What he didn't get was why? Was it guilt? He quickly looked back at the screen.
"But I don't want that."
His eyes widened in shock, staring at the screen in disbelief.
"I want you to have a happy life, even without me. You might find it hard now, but don't die alone because of-" she wiped a tear away, "-me. Sayo needs a mother as much as she needs you. A part of me thinks I'm crazy for saying this, but, if you do find a woman, I know you'll love her as much as you did me. Move on, I will never doubt you stopped loving me because of it. I know you love, and I love you. But, before I go…There is the chance that I didn't return alive…but, the real reason I'm giving you this is because…because…I've been unfaithful."
He pushed rewind.
"I've been unfaithful."
Again.
"I've been unfaithful." He finally let it continue. Kikyo didn't look directly at the camera any longer. "His name is Suikotsu, he's a doctor…We've been having a rocky time, and we're drifting apart, and it…happened. If you're watching this, then I…decided to stay with him. I couldn't bare to let our relationship fall apart before I left. Good bye, Inuyasha."
She moved her arm forward to shut off the camcorder when he heard himself yell no. For a moment he thought it was on tape, but then it dawned on him.
He'd yelled it himself.
The camcorder jiggled, and then Kikyo broke down into tears. She thought she turned it off. She sat there, wiping the tears away and then Inuyasha heard his own voice.
"Kikyo? Where are you? Sayo's here-"
His wife's head shot up, noticed the red light, and the screen went blank before the news returned. He didn't even bother to turn it off before he put his head in his hands and fought back the urge to scream, or maybe it was to cry. He didn't know.
He didn't know a lot right now, and that only made him feel worse.
"You were…unfaithful?"
.-..-.
Kagome walked towards the garden, sure to see Sango or Miroku there with some of the children. Instead, she was greeted with worried faces.
A worried tone of a young boy came from behind her, it was accompanied by two more elderly voices, disagreeing over something. Kagome recognized them immediately, Shippou was in the lead, floating on a cloud.
"I haven't been able to find them, only a strong force would make it this hard. Great evil is at work here." Shippou shook his head, upset. "Kami-sama, I don't know what to do!"
"I never did understand it," Myouga muttered, "I mean, good triumphs over evil, why couldn't we break through the barrier?"
"Good triumphs over evil in the long run, in the big picture. Sometimes hardships must be faced, even with Angels, for it to happen." Shippou said sagely. That was when he spotted Kagome, with a very un-Angel-like curiosity. "Kagome."
"Who can't you find?" Kagome insisted, looking from one face to another for an answer. It took her a moment, but she finally understood before any of the three members of the Five could tell her. "Sango and Miroku! They're missing, since that night near the graveyard."
Shippou's emerald eyes lit up at the mention, "You were there during their fight?"
"Sango and Miroku came, they told me I should go. I stayed as long as they would allow me to, but when they told me to leave – they said it was an order, not a request…"
Shippou nodded, "Where would Abi be keeping them?"
"We're not sure, we've checked everyone on the ground. Cloud formations change everyday, if they're there then they're moving around a lot. It's too hard to say where they are." Myouga bowed his head, "I guess we are going to have to go out manually again."
Kagome balled her hands into fists, emotionally stressed. "I'll find them myself, you stay here and send out other Angels!"
"But Kagome, you have a charge. He is your first priority right now." Shippou seemed as disappointed as she did. "Those are the rules."
"I don't care if they're the rules! Sango and Miroku are out there right now, and we have no way of finding them! I don't care what the punishment is, but I need to find them." And if I'm right, and what Hiten said was true, then I won't be aloud to be here much longer anyway.
Shippou traded glances with the others. "Kagome, calm down."
"No!" Backing away, Kagome shook her head. "I care about my charge, but he is doing fine. He is dealing with his pain. I can spare a few hours everyday to look for them both-"
With a sigh, Shippou jumped onto Kagome's shoulder. Waving the other two of the Five away, he motioned her to sit in the garden. "You don't want to be around him too much, do you?"
Kagome looked away, unable to answer.
"Kagome, are you scared that it'll happen again?"
Shaking her head to block out her fear, Kagome hid her eyes. "I broke Hojo's heart, just when he was healing! He was my charge…and I lost my wings because I let him fall in love with me!"
Shippou leaned into her neck, closing his young eyes. "Kagome…"
"There is nothing anyone can do now. He already has another Guardian Angel, and he has healed for the most part. But, the fact that I caused him pain instead of healed it is unforgivable. I'm not like the other Angel's…I still hold too many of my human traits. So, why am I here?"
There was a silence from her shoulder. Finally, Shippou spoke. "It is because you are not…meant to be here."
Kagome turned, eyes wide. "What?"
"Only one in…a million, perhaps, comes along with your traits, Kagome… For some reason, Kami-sama wanted you to keep them. Finally, he told us why. It's because, you aren't supposed to be here. Yes, you're dead, but…"
Kagome stood, horrified. "But what?"
With sorrowful eyes, Shippou looked up at her. Forgive us, Kagome… "You're not supposed to be…dead."