Disclaimer: not mine
A/N: Ryuu did this so much better than me...
Jack tried to work out why Daniel was staring halfway across the room: he seemed to be more interested in watching his two teammates than in ordering himself another beer. Of course, Daniel wasn't really a beer person, but that didn't really explain his behaviour and Jack wanted to know what was going on. He nudged Daniel hard in the ribs.
Daniel yelped. "Hey, what was that for?"
Jack nodded towards Sam and Teal'c. "Whatcha staring at?"
Daniel smirked. "Have you noticed the way that Teal'c is flexing his arm muscles?"
Jack stared at Teal'c's arms. To be fair, it was hard not to stare at them when he was wearing one of his sleeveless T-shirts, but it definitely felt weird to be checking out another man's biceps. His eyes narrowed as he realised that Daniel was right, and he quickly turned his scrutiny to Carter. She was wearing a halter top, and all the tanned skin on display made his mouth go dry – not that he'd ever admit it of course.
"He's flexing them at Sam?" He'd sort of managed to keep his shock out of his voice. Sort of.
Daniel glanced over at him. "And she's enjoying it." Jack's gaze shot back to the happy twosome, just in time to see Sam throw her head back and laugh. She hadn't laughed like that at one of his jokes for months.
He almost didn't want to ask. "Are they – ?"
"It's the shoulders." Daniel smirked. "And the bare arms, of course. All that bare flesh – it exerts a force of attraction that mere mortals can't resist."
Any other day, Jack would have told Daniel not to talk rubbish, but he had a sneaking suspicion that Daniel was right. He watched as Sam reached a hand up to her neck, rubbing the muscles as if to work out the kinks. Teal'c seemed to lean towards her.
"I can't believe she's doing that in public!" Jack realised that at some point he'd been given a bottle of beer and had drained half of it, but he couldn't remember when. It didn't really seem to matter.
"Jack, she's just rubbing her neck." They both watch as Sam rolled her shoulders slowly and deliberately, ending her stretch by arching her back. Jack gulped and put his beer down.
"I'm going over there." A hand grabbed his wrist, and he turned in annoyance. "Daniel!"
Daniel didn't move. "And what are you going to do when you get over there?"
Jack shrugged, and then realised that he needed a plan: Teal'c's arms were a formidable opponent. "I could take my shirt off."
Both of them stared at his arms, which looked particularly skinny as they poked out of the baggy sleeves of his T-shirt. "I'm the sinewy type!" Jack insisted.
Daniel was very careful not to stare at Jack's stomach. "Yeah... maybe you should just try offering her a shoulder rub instead. She must have a stiff neck if all that stretching is anything to go by."
Jack was torn between hugging Daniel and glaring at him, but he settled for staring at Sam. Again. Tempting as Daniel's suggestion was, touching all that bare skin might be too much for him. "I hate flying a desk," he muttered, feeling decidedly wistful.
Daniel patted him on the arm. "I'm sure Teal'c would be happy to give you a few more sparring sessions to help you tone up – when we're on base, at least."
Jack nodded, staring at Teal'c's arms again. They gleamed in the dim light, as if they were lit from within – or something like that, anyway. He couldn't look away.
"Baby oil."
Jack choked. "Excuse me?"
Daniel flushed. "I mentioned that some actors grease their skin to accentuate their physiques, and Teal'c really took to the idea."
"And he uses it every day?"
"Just for social occasions."
Jack took a swig of his beer, deep in thought. "He really uses baby oil?"
Daniel nodded, and Jack gave up trying to control the smirk that spread across his face. Suddenly Teal'c's muscles seemed much less menacing and much more... girly somehow. Not a word he'd ever expected to use when talking about the Jaffa, but it now seemed appropriate.
Except that Sam's shoulders were also gleaming, and what had been entrancing only minutes ago now were tainted by his new knowledge. He gulped, not wanting to say the words but desperate to know the truth. "Does Sam use baby oil too?"
Daniel glanced at him mildly. "Of course not, her shoulders gleam of their own accord."
Jack nodded, uncertain as to whether Daniel was being sarcastic or not. He changed his mind, he didn't want to know. Ignorance was bliss, and he didn't mind adding 'glowing skin' to the list of Carter's superpowers that he'd been compiling over the last few years. He turned to the bar and ordered another beer, happy just to watch those shoulders all evening.
f-