"Manifestations"
By Isis
Chapter 8

After a half an hour of adjustment to Relena's wardrobe, she was finally clad in a faded pair of blue jeans, a t-shirt and a vastly oversized sweatshirt. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and left to hang through the baseball cap she wore. Adding a pair of sunglasses, Carver stepped back to admire the work.

"Someone is going to have to be an awfully good stalker to recognize her in that."

All eyes ended up on him again and Heero finally nodded. He wasn't thrilled about the idea, but it also didn't seem fair to keep her locked up, especially in this situation. The 'disguise' was hopelessly lacking, but in truth, it was so completely against her public image that it would probably work.

The group cheered and she happily bounced over and took his arm to drag him towards the door, latching on to Ather's on the way. "Now if you two don't stop looking so gloomy you're going to blow my cover," she admonished.

Ather sent him a glance over her shoulder as she dragged them along. "You're not the one getting fired."

"Ok, now walk me through this one more time," Ry stated, walking backwards in front of them along the boardwalk. "You," he pointed to Heero, "transferred in here three weeks before the school got bombed by accidental fire and closed." He made swooping and bombing motions with his hands as they inched along the waterfront shops, the falsified OZ reports still doing their jobs at concealing the real reason for the "closing."

Relena sighed from beside him. "Yes, Ry."

"And you were in the same class."

They nodded.

"So you knew each other."

Heero purposefully tried to ignore him.

"But the school closed, you all ran for your lives, and you didn't meet again until this assignment."

"Something like that," Relena mumbled.

"But you were friends?" he insisted, making other hand gestures.

"Ry, it was three weeks. And I think I was actually off planet about half the time."

"Oh, come on, you were the popular kid, you must have known everybody."

Heero fought for something else to direct his attention to, but Alli and Delano were tagging slowly along behind, wandering through the trinket shops as they passed.

"Quite honestly, I didn't care."

The comment came off odd, and he turned back to look at her.

"Now, we're getting somewhere," Ry mumbled.

Relena found an open bench against the edge of the walkway and placed her bag down on it, successfully pausing the group. "We'll just say that the two of us didn't get off to a good start," she chuckled as she causally took her sunglasses off and sat down.

He blinked at her, wondering exactly where she was going with that piece of information.

She stretched her legs out in front of her and leaned back against the chain link fence behind her. He stood beside her, facing out towards the surf rolling up on the beach below.

Ry however, bit at the information and squatted down in front of her. "What? What happened?"

She giggled at him and reached out and knocked his hat down in front. "Why do you want to know?" she asked instead.

"Hey, watch the hair," he complained, spiking up the short blond ridges before replacing the hat.

She laughed at him, glancing back to watch the other two slowly catching up with them.

"No, you can't quit, there's got to be story here," Ry begged.

Relena leaned back and looked up at Heero instead, her smile brightened by the sunshine. "Do I dare tell him?"

He gazed down at her, a bit surprised.

Ry moved in, kneeling beside her and folded his hands together under his chin.

She paused, but then shrugged. Holding up a hand toward her face for secrecy, she leaned down towards Ry and said, "Heero didn't really appreciate being sent here." With a laugh she sat back again, "So let's just say I was in the wrong welcoming committee."

Heero didn't exactly know what to say to that, so he specifically left her story up to her. But Ry didn't appear thrilled with the revelation. "So?"

"So, what?" she shrugged. "We just didn't have a good first impression."

Heero honestly would have chuckled if that statement wasn't so tragically true. As it was, he followed the waves below with his eyes as they came ashore and tried very hard not to think of their first real meeting.

"Agent Yuy, I just don't imagine you being rude," Ry mumbled teasingly.

He finally turned favoring him with smirk. "I didn't recognize what I was getting into," he answered honestly enough.

Relena sighed from between them. "Wow, neither did I."

Ry turned from one to the other as she caught Heero's eye and kept it, a smile playing in them that he was beginning to get use to. "Yeah, you're still not telling me anything here."

She turned back to give him a look, "What were you expecting?"

He shrugged, standing up. "I don't know some fantastic, cosmic connection, thing. Some poetic finale of being placed back together again. How learning to jump off of lighting equipment and running over folding chairs can be an important job requirement!" He paused his tirade and exaggerated gesturing. "No one appreciates me," he sighed dramatically before stuffing his hands in his pockets and walking back towards the other two.

"Wait. Ry!"

Heero watched him go and glanced back down at her as she looked up at him with an expression of total abandon. Shaking her head she scooted forward, using her arms to support her as she turned her attention to scuffing her shoes over the boards of the walkway. He turned to watch behind him as the team picked their way through shell necklaces in a shop a couple stalls down.

"You know, he might not be right," she started, inching a bit closer to where he stood. "But I am glad to have you here."

Her gaze was down and the hat that she wore closed off most of what he could see of her expression.

Heero stared at her with a shocked surprise, not knowing what he could say to her. He simply watched the wind twirl her hair behind her back. Slowly she lifted her eyes to meet his, blinking against the sun behind him. "You know, you about gave us all heart failure last week."

He kept her eyes for a moment, remembering the uncomfortable silences he usually found himself in around the others in the Preventers building. Glancing back over his shoulder he watched the three laugh together over something. He hadn't noticed a difference with them, aside from a few added references such as Ry's just now. "What did you say to them?" he asked instead, turning back to her.

She started, "What makes you think I said something?"

He held her gaze and waited until she let the surprised look go, and shrugged instead. "I actually didn't say much of anything. I tried to chalk it up to the fact that you're wearing a jacket and the rest of them are still in button-downs." She chuckled to herself, glancing over at them, "I didn't figure I should tell them that if they thought that was impressive they should see you jump out of a fifty-story building onto a rock cliff."

Heero snapped back to look at her, the reference ringing in his ears. He remembered the terrified scream that had snapped him out of a fatigue-driven suicide attempt, believing he would be better dead than captured. He had written it off later as imagination brought on by blood loss, but…. "You were there."

She nodded slowly, concern showed in her eyes over his apparently visible reaction. "At the time, I could only figure that you had to be Alliance military. But when Sally started pressing me for information on you, I kind of figured it was the wrong place." She wrung her hands together lightly in her lap. "I didn't think they were going to tie you to a table," she added apologetically.

He closed his eyes, shaking off the odd feelings. "How did you get in?" he asked, curious. Duo finding a way in was one thing, but an upstanding politician's daughter was another.

She burst into giggles, and then used both hands to pull the hat down lower over her face. "I don't think I want to say."

He blinked at her and then glanced back to check that the team was still out of hearing range. "Relena?"

She sighed and lowered her hands. "I told Sally that we were classmate sweethearts, and that I came to check on you."

He stopped, staring at her as she turned to read his reaction, the comments from Sally during the time they'd worked together clicking into his mind.

"Sorry, it was just a cover," she mumbled, obviously a bit concerned she'd offended him.

He blinked and then closed his eyes and shook his head. Turning around he took a seat next to her. "Something just started making sense."

"Oh." She seemed satisfied with the answer a second, but then turned back, looking over her shoulder at him. "What did?"

He absently watched the other three pick through the corner shop, trying on sunglasses. "I think Sally still believes you," he muttered.

Relena's features dropped. Slowly she melted back on the bench beside him. "I didn't think she even believed me then."

"Tell me that someone else here thinks that there is more going on with them than they're telling us," Ry almost pleaded, specifically staying calm and facing away from the two on the bench across the walkway.

"You know, I just figured she thought he was cute," Alli mumbled, sticking a pair of sunglasses on in the little mirror. "But you might be on to something."

"Cute?"

She turned around to look at him, pointing to the glasses for an opinion. "You've got to admit he's a fine specimen."

He balked at her indignantly. "And what would you know of that?"

She dropped the glasses just to roll her eyes at him. "Ry, you're hopeless."

"I think both of you need to keep your wonderings to yourselves."

"Del, does your butt ever get sore on the fence?"

"Does your mouth ever get tired of the taste of foot," he shot back, continuing his search of the nearby book collection.

"Oh, you two knock it off," she refereed. "I'll pump her for information when we get to room together again. Until then, there's nothing we can do about it."

Ry snapped his fingers, eyes lighting up as he glanced back to the two on the bench. "Maybe there is something…."

Alli looked up at him and then shrugged. The way Ry's mind worked scared her even when he wasn't plotting something.

"There's got to be juicy gossip in here somewhere."

Relena sighed again, shaking her head and setting down the popcorn bowl. "Ry, do you know how long it's been since I've seen a movie?"

"Three weeks."

"The 'History of Giant Trucks' doesn't count," she commented, turning back to the TV.

Heero pecked away at the laptop he'd been using during the trip, oblivious to both of them. The two of them shared the couch, he with something to work on, her with a bowl of popcorn, and Ry sat in the over-stuffed chair next to Heero… with her old yearbooks.

"Hey, it was my pick."

She sighed again and turned back to the movie.

"What kind of yearbook doesn't have a gossip column?"

"Private school, Ry."

"Even the comments your friends wrote are weak."

She resisted the temptation to start pelting him with the kernels.

"I mean, come on, honestly, you're telling me you didn't have all the guys falling over you?"

She slumped even more into her seat, resisting the temptation to stuff her own head in the bowl.

"Yuy, come on, tell me she's just being naive."

"She's just being naive," he said, his typing not missing a beat.

"I'm what?" she started, staring at him. "What is that supposed to mean?" she asked, indignant.

"Yes!" Ry cheered. "Tell me she had the guys crawling all over her."

"Some," he answered, still not looking up.

Laughing, Ry snapped the book closed and cheered, scooting his chair closer.

"What?" she squeaked.

"Ok, ok," Ry composed himself. "Did she have a boyfriend?"

"I don't know," he answered, flipping through screens on the computer.

Visibly deflated Ry paused. "But she had suitors?" he asked earnestly.

"Hn," he gave a short nod.

"I'm still sitting here!" The outburst finally made both of them turn to look at her. Re-composing herself as much as possible she gave Heero a point-blank stare, "How would you know anyway?"

He gave her a slightly surprised look, possibly not realizing that he had said something wrong.

"You can learn a lot in three weeks," Ry pointed out.

"It wasn't hard to notice."

Her expression dropped, totally at a loss. Her mind clicking back to her schools days, but she couldn't think of a single "admirer." So where did Heero find them? Formulating a semi-coherent thought she shook her head to clear it. "Who?"

The subtle change in his eyes betrayed his amusement at her befuddled state. She may hate getting to know the quirks of Heero Yuy's character yet.

"Nicolas Shelton."

She gaped at him a moment, thinking of the blond haired boy in her class. He had been a good friend for a couple years. They had shared most of the same classes and he had easily joined many of the same groups…. "You're imagining things," she stated finally, drawing her conclusions.

He blinked at her and then turned back to his work. "Imagination doesn't challenge you to a fencing match."

She snapped back to look at him as he again typed away. "That's what that was about…" she stopped, thinking back to the way Heero had humiliated Nicolas on the mat, breaking his own foil and even going so far as to drive the edge into the other's helmet. "But… I…."

He continued on with what he was doing, leaving her to her thoughts.

"Well what did you expect after a stunt like that," she said instead, the invitation incident coming up to mind.

He looked up again and met her eyes.

"Any friend would have done the same," she stated, turning away. "You had the whole school talking."

She saw him watch her out of the corner of her eye as she sat reflecting on what he'd said.

"You're right." She heard him mumble before he once again turned back to the computer.

Something in the tone didn't sound right and she turned back to look at him. His expression was the same as he again flipped through screens. Was it a slightly apologetic tone she'd noticed? She hadn't exactly brought up his best moment….

Scrutinizing the whole conversation she slowly realized that Heero was a bit more perceptive than she usually was, and especially at that point in her life. She should probably trust his judgment, and she certainly shouldn't have mentioned her invitation. Relena had no way of really knowing what went through his mind then any more than she knew now.

"That's it?" Ry commented from his chair.

They both looked over at him.

"Oh, no, I'm not here, don't mind me," he said quickly, attempting to squish down low in the chair, something very hard for someone his height. He flipped open the yearbook again and comically played at looking through it.

She turned from Ry to Heero again, feeling very strange about him knowing—well, at least thinking—that someone had liked her. What was she doing?

"Oh, I'm sorry," she sighed instead. The two watched her absently wring her hands together. "I did think roses were an odd birthday present…." She giggled humorlessly, "Oh, well."

"Well, maybe you should give him a call," Ry added, waggling his eyebrows at her.

This time she did chuck a couple pieces of popcorn at him. "This is all your fault, you know that?"

"What's my fault? You finally figure out, years after the fact, that some guy liked you?"

She stopped, "Well, yes."

He broke out laughing. "You are too precious."

This time she looked around for something harder to throw, and found a ball of yarn with her mother's knitting needles. Deciding on the yard instead of the needles, she threw one at him, missing his head by a couple inches.

Turning to watch it land he glanced back at her, his laughing at least halted. "You did suck at anything with a ball, didn't you?"

She glared daggers at him until he stood up to retrieve the purple fuzz, holding up both hands in surrender.

"Joke, joke," he turned around and walked over to the wall where it lay. "Not my fault you two can't communicate enough to figure these things out on your own."

Heero, who had gone back to his work during their discussion, glanced up at him. Removing a hand from the keypad he held it out to her. Relena looked at it before realizing what he was planning, and quickly handed him another ball of yarn. Hefting it once, Heero quickly threw it at Ry's back just as he moved to pick up the other ball, this one hitting him squarely in the back of the head.

"Hey!"

Heero returned to typing, and she about collapsed onto her side laughing.

"Really, you just think that's funny, don't you." The first purple ball came whizzing towards her and she instinctually ducked.

When nothing hit her, she cautiously looking up and found Heero handing her the ball back, not turning from the monitor.

"Man, where do you learn this stuff?" Ry asked, totally floored by the no-look save.

Heero finished whatever he was working on with one hand, and then slowly closed the computer down as she took the ball away from him. Looking up he shrugged, "Classified."

Ry visibly wilted, moving back to flop down in the chair. "Fine, you two just go on with your little psycho relationship."

Relena chuckled merrily to herself and scooted back to her original position on the sofa, her attention back on the movie. "Now, what did I miss?" she asked herself as some building exploded on screen.

"I found it!" Alli announced herself as she entered the living room.

Relena crunched her popcorn, irritated with yet another interruption.

"Ah-ha!" Ry jumped up in victory, before looking at Alli, "Found what?"

"The absolute cutest picture in the history of St. Gabriel's."

She triumphantly held the yearbook out, walking up beside Ry. He leaned in over her shoulder and stopped, his eyes going buggy.

Relena chewed, waiting for the two to show their discovery of some terribly embarrassing moment in her school career, almost bored with the whole thing by now.

Heero placed his laptop on the coffee table in front of them and leaned back on the couch. Ry slumped forward, placing his chin on Alli's shoulder as he apparently read through the copy in the book, taking his time with the incriminating evidence.

She shrugged and turned back to the TV. Moving the popcorn bowl she offered some to Heero who glanced it and then took a handful.

"Un-freaking-believable."

Alli flipped the page again, and finally they both looked over and eyed them on the couch. Relena watched them stare at her until she glanced across at Heero, who was also waiting casually for an explanation, and turned back to them. "What?" she finally asked.

Almost in unison they looked back to the book and then back to her.

"It can't possibly be any worse than that kitty costume," she muttered, stuffing some more popcorn in her mouth, and pointedly ignoring them.

"Un…freaking…believable," Ry commented, slowly taking the book from Alli and straightening.

"I think it's adorable."

Ry walked over, standing directly in front of them, in the way of the TV, and glanced between the two of them. "Have you seen your last year's book?" he asked.

She paused, blinking, "I didn't think they published one."

He held it up and smiled. "They have this nice commemorative piece in the back. Every picture that was taken on the last two rolls of film from the staff." He slowly rotated the book, towards them. "From this 'Spring Festival' dance."

Relena's popcorn tried to go down the wrong way and she coughed and sputtered a moment. Taking up a quarter of the page, in full color and perfect focus was an image of her and Heero's single dance that night. The image caught them from the side, easily displaying her in his arms with no amount of leverage to convince them that it was someone else.

Composing herself and swallowing, she glanced beside her, and watched his unfazed expression as he popped another kernel in his mouth, looking from the book to Ry holding it.

Ry's patience apparently wore off with the two. "So?"

Heero looked at him a moment. "It was a dance."

Relena coughed a couple more times, fighting for something to say, a now-familiar feeling of worry creeping into her. All three turned to her, a bit worried looking. "Just popcorn," she shook it off.

Alli walked over and took the book away from him again, gazing at the picture. "I just think it's cute. Do you guys still have these uniforms?"

"Forget the uniforms," Ry grinned from ear to ear. "Yuy, you dog. Three weeks and you were putting the moves on the Vice Minister's daughter, and with what's-his-name hanging on her too. Gutsy," he added appraisingly.

Alli looked up, confused. "What?"

"I'll tell you later," he shushed her.

Heero blinked, "It was one dance."

"Uh-huh."

He shrugged, "She asked."

All eyes turned to her as Relena fought to keep the blush down. "Well, I… uh…."

"Aaaaaahh," Ry and Alli both gave her 'that look.'

"What?" she squeaked, fighting for a good explanation.

"No wonder you didn't notice the other guys," Ry suggested, wrapping an arm around Alli's shoulders.

The two chuckled and she felt her checks start to burn. "No—I… but—uh," she fought to articulate something but failed miserably. She finally took the pillow off the couch beside her and buried her face in it. Maybe it would be better if they did think some high school crush had been captured in the picture instead of the truth.

"Yuy, I think it's about time you and I had a man to man talk."

"As if Miss Relena would want anything to do with him after that."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You just can't keep your nose to yourself."

"You're the one that brought the thing in here."

"I thought it was sweet!"

Relena slowly pulled the pillow down and peeked over the top of it as the two stood arguing in front of them. She slowly worked up the courage to glance over at Heero from the corner of her eye, and found him merely watching the two argue.

Catching her looking, he gave her a slightly quizzical expression and she finally pulled the pillow down to her lap, avoiding further eye contact.

She felt more than saw the light chuckle as he regarded her. Surprised, she glanced over at him again. With a lighthearted smile he offered her the popcorn bowl again and she couldn't help but laugh at the gesture.

Somehow, she decided that seeing Heero laugh was well worth the humiliation she would be getting for next six months.

Taking a few kernels she settled back to watch the other two play out their own little drama.

It was quiet at five in the morning, even on Earth. The whisper of the colonies was normal to him, but in the time he had spent here, he hadn't adjusted to the sounds of a living planet. However, in the dark before dawn, he was a bit more at home than normal.

He had relieved Delano from his night watch and took a seat in the library, on the couch beside one of the patio doors, forgoing any lights. Pulling up the company comparisons, he checked for new updates on what Wufei may have found yesterday.

Soft footsteps slowly descended the stairs into the entry room and rounded the corner towards him. He stopped, listening intently to them as they paused at each doorway. Only one person then.

The steps stopped at the first library doorway behind him. "You're going to ruin that perfect eyesight of yours if you keep working in the dark."

"Hn." He quickly saved the analysis, wondering idly what Relena would say if he told her that his eyesight was a surgically permanent feature.

Her chuckle was quiet as she slowly padded over to the couch. He turned to regard her as she came in; the predawn light filtering in the windows wasn't enough to see her clearly. She strode in dragging a blanket wrapped around her. "Do you ever need sleep, Agent Yuy?"

"Apparently as much as you do."

She came up behind him and he waited for her to make her way around the couch, but instead he felt her hands on his shoulders, startling him. "I didn't figure Commander Une would leave you all to me," she chuckled, and he specifically forced himself to relax under her touch. "What have you been working on?"

He popped up a copy of the original program on the screen. "We've been alerted to a number of encrypted messages that seem suspicious."

"Ah," she mumbled, "Is that illegal?"

He pushed down the fuzzy feeling he was becoming acquainted with and again told himself to relax. He slowly shook his head, "It's just a precaution." It wasn't that her touch was unwanted; it was just, different, unique… personal. Somehow, the friendly affection that she treated him with was always significant to him.

"Ah," she announced, "you're spying."

The smile in her voice slowly pushed the odd thoughts out of his head as he closed down the screen and set (it) aside. "That's classified," he said instead, getting her to giggle.

She backed away, taking her hands from him. "I'm bothering you, aren't I?"

He shook his head, his body already missing the warmth of her. "No."

"Good." She rounded the couch and flopped down next to him, tucking her feet under her as she faced him, the blanket loosely held over her shoulders. "I want to apologize for today."

He placed the laptop on the floor out of the way. "There's no need."

"Yes there is, I put you in a very bad position without meaning to."

He shook his head at her, but knew he wouldn't get anywhere if he tried to stop her. "You got the worst of it."

She sighed, "Don't I know it. But in all fairness, you're not making it easy to cover you," she said very quietly, leaning in for secrecy.

He realized that it was partly a joke, but not before that familiar feeling came back to mind. "I'm sorry, Relena."

The announcement visibly shocked her as she jolted straight, her blanket slipping off one shoulder of her silhouette. "What—no, don't be. I'm just kidding."

He shook his head, a small smile forming that he knew she couldn't see in the dark. "It's been a burden to ask of you."

"Humph," she sighed. "Not at all."

The sound of her voice made him pause. There was something more there that stilled him inside. That earnest pitch that he could identify as the strength of her emotions.

It was the same sound, from this same girl, that had probably saved his life more times than he could really count. The emotion poured into her words to him may have been what first stopped him from attempting to eliminate her, and later, what gave him enough strength to want to live.

She cared.

At first it was a feeling that he attempted to ignore. He'd been mistaken to believe that he could forget it though. Each time he felt like giving up; just staying down and dying, the thought that someone would actually be sad for him….

Why?

On sheer impulse, he reached over and found her cheek in the dimly lit room. Maybe it was just to make sure that she wasn't a figment of his imagination again, perhaps he just needed to feel her.

She seemed surprised at first, and he almost took it back. But he felt her smile; heard her chuckle just a bit. Bringing up her own hand she placed it against his, holding him there. "Your hands are cold," she whispered.

He blinked at her, realizing that her cheek and hand felt warm against him. He brushed his thumb over her cheekbone once before attempting to pull away. But she didn't let him.

Instead she brought his hand down and placed it in the blanket in her lap, rubbing it between both of hers. "You must be cold sitting down here," she reasoned.

His same line of thought came back at the show of concern. "Why do you care?"

The soft question froze her until she slowly lifted her head up to look at him.

He realized too late that that sounded harsh. "You always have. …I don't understand why."

She let out a breath, and relaxed again. Slowly she lowered her gaze and sat silently, thinking. Finally she shook her head, "I'm not sure I can answer that."

There was something buried deep in her voice, and her hands tightened absently around his. He never should have asked, never should have brought up their past. They had dwelled on it enough for one day.

He waited for her a moment to see if there would be anything else. But she never looked up, never relaxed her grip, and as he watched her he could hear her breathing grow shallow….

"Relena," he whispered, leaning towards her, a concern he wasn't used to washing over him.

She picked her head up quickly. "I don't know."

Heero paused, confused over what she meant.

"You were everything that I needed to be, but wasn't." She chuckled humorlessly, lowering her gaze again. "You were my strength."

Involuntarily he backed away a few inches, shocked surprise echoing in his head.

"Listen to me, I sound like an idiot," she mumbled, raising a blanket-covered hand to rub her forehead.

His expression softened and he made a single conscious decision. Removing his hand from hers he raised both of them to her face, cradling her jawbone. She looked up at him surprised as he leaned in, placing his forehead against hers. He felt her neck and shoulders relax under his touch. "I shouldn't have asked," he whispered, hoping that it would relieve her mind.

He felt her smile, and she reached over to place a hand on his chest, over his heart. "I'm sorry I don't know myself enough to answer you."

He closed his eyes, "I understand."

"Heero." Her tone made him pull back to look at her. She took her hands and placed them over his, removing them to hold them both in hers. "I felt that… I had a purpose with you."

"A purpose?" he blinked.

"I wanted to protect you."

Heero only stared at what he could see of her in the gray room.

She dropped their hands to her lap and took a slightly stuttered breath. "I thought that if I could somehow peacefully stop the fighting, that you'd be safe. You and everyone else. I was hopelessly naive, I know that now. But at the time, it was all I could do." She shook her head. "I didn't realize until it was too late that the only thing I didn't trust you with… was your own life."

Heero took a breath to say something, but couldn't. Even his emotions were so confused that they simply shut off, leaving his chest numb. For once a silence between them hung dead, shattering their normal quiet interactions. His mind worked at everything she said, filing it away and arguing over the validity of the claims….

She squeezed his hands in hers, reminding him that he had the appendages. "This would be a good time to say something," she whispered.

He started, realizing that that confession had left her afraid of his response. Finally his emotions seeped back in, settling on one familiar feeling. He shifted in his seat and gently pulled one of his hands free to raise it to her face.

She easily accepted the gesture, leaning into his touch, her breath tickling his wrist. His brain needed some time to sort through this. And the thought that it had scared her to admit it made him want to try to protect her from that feeling.

The questions burned into him, but above all, the feeling of pride prevailed again. Maybe it wasn't really pride, but that seemed as good a name as any for this moment. The idea that she had stepped through the war, with his interests at heart….

She trusted him with everything but his own life.

His own.

His hand slipped down to her neck, losing its grip, the thought repeating over in his head. Only his.

She shifted, sensing the difference. "Heero?"

He closed his eyes a moment, forming a coherent thought. "Why my life?"

"What?"

He gently moved closer to look at her, her eyes actually visible by now in the buttered morning light. "Your life was the one I was threatening." The words were hard to force out, the mistakes of the past painfully close to the surface.

She blinked at him, confused, until he saw the recognition dawn. She smiled instead, shaking her head. "I knew too much. That was why. To protect yourself it would have been better if I died."

He gnawed at the comment, nodding slowly.

"I told you, I wanted to protect you," she stated. "I didn't mind the thought of dying at your hands, Heero. I minded not knowing why." She tilted her head to the side, "I told you that once."

The dance. Ironically captured in an obscure yearbook as a happy memory.

"You understood what the war was really about. You were the one that was fighting. If my life needed to end, I trusted that you would know what would be best."

He closed his eyes in front of her, swallowing her words.

He felt her lean towards him, placing a hand on his chest again. He looked at her, only inches away, a serene smile to her lips. "You never realized this, did you?"

He swallowed and slightly shook his head.

Her lighthearted chuckle displaced the dark feelings running through him. He let go of her as she inched closer, and then encircled her arms around him in a hug.

It took him a moment to figure out how to lightly hug her back. Her head rested on his shoulder a while before he felt her sigh. "I feel different with you next to me Heero. I always have." She slowly pulled away and he let her go, not knowing how to stop her. She sat up next to him, pulling the blanket around her again. "I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I didn't really mean to bring this all up again."

He slowly shook his head, coming to terms with her feelings, if not his own.

She gazed back at him, and he wasn't sure what he found in her eyes. There was nothing that he could compare her to. "I'd better get back before the others get up," she sighed, rising slowly.

He nodded absently and she gave him one more smile as she slipped from the room. He closed his eyes in the dawning light, listening as her steps quietly crept back upstairs. Heero sat still and silent most of the rest of his watch, attempting to sort out why he felt so hollow after she left.

"We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person."- Maugham

Proofed by: Silver-Eyed and Lay Hime. Thank you!