"Manifestations"
By Isis
Chapter 18
Taking a shower in 1/6 gravity was a lot like being steamed cleaned until you were almost wet. Quatre stood, leaning against the wall, wished for nothing more than the massaging force of a real showerhead. Instead, he stood in the fine mist with the heat as high as he could possibly stand, hoping that it would ease the tense pain out of his muscles.
Downtime had been a nightmare, literally. Sheer fatigue kept dropping him back to sleep after each time he woke up, not sure where he was or what was going on. His dreams had run the gamut from nice to horrible to just plain weird, and… other. Nothing made any sense, and after hours of being tormented by his own mind he'd finally forced himself off the sweat-dreaded bed just so that he could re-determine what reality he was actually living in.
His body was healing, but he was stiff and sore and apparently still prone to the trembling fits. He was beginning to wonder if it had been a good idea to ignore medical advice. He didn't especially want to scare the others with an announcement that he was going to a doctor, but he also knew that there were only three people in the fleet that actually knew what was ailing him if he simply collapsed. And the other two probably wouldn't be all that helpful with the investigation.
Like it or not, he was going to have to go see Sally. Which meant that she would berate him to no end that he didn't come sooner. And she'd more than likely add a "medical endangerment" charge to the Delmares' list, which he didn't especially want to be the cause of.
Slowly the heat helped, it at least took the edge off, the steam helping his breathing as well. Maybe he was just overreacting from the bad night… or day, or period, or whatever time it actually was back home.
Getting out, he dressed quickly, feeling better than he had the night before at least. Food was the next priority. Even though his stomach twisted mildly at the thought of eating something, he realized that it had probably been thirty-six hours since it'd had something in it. And it would probably help work the rest of this out of his system.
Taking a deep breath he exited the room and found his way down to the mess hall. The crews were still confined to quarters for another couple hours, so the halls were deserted. The only people allowed to roam free during this time would be himself, the Maguanacs and Dorothy.
Dorothy…. It was too late to push down the feeling of terror that struck him at the thought of her before the doors to the hall whispered open in front of him.
She sat on the top of a table, her legs neatly crossed, wearing a pair of snug black leggings, a plain cream-colored shirt that hung long on her with a widely scooped neckline. She leaned back on her arms, her hair trailing down her back and off the edge of the table.
Surrounding her were no less than six of his ten Maguanac friends, assorting themselves between the chairs, the tabletop or standing arrangements. …And the Lady Catalonia was giggling mercilessly at them.
Quatre forced himself to take a couple stiff steps inside to allow the doors to close again. Pushing down the feeling of panic, he forcefully told himself that it would be all right.
He didn't exactly remember what happened last night. At least, he didn't think he did. And part of him hoped he didn't.
Between what really happened, and the assortment of dreams that Dorothy saw fit to waltz her way into, he honestly wasn't sure what was real and what wasn't. Some things he knew could not have happened, others he was sure did, and the rest… well, the rest worried him.
A small cheer went up through the room as the men turned to notice him. Dorothy twisted around to regard him through the others, and her devilish smirk turned a bit friendlier when she saw him enter.
And he had the first silent sigh of relief he'd had in days. Relaxing, he managed his way over to the group, the guys asking about how he was. They gave him a couple reports on the guard detail and filled him in that Dorothy had assisted them with making muffins for breakfast.
He smiled at the comments and the empty prepackaged muffin wrappers and shook his head. "I know her cooking skills, so I think I'll take my chances."
The group laughed whole-heartedly at Dorothy's expense, which he was convinced didn't happen often, as she gave him a sarcastically evil glare. "For all the thanks I get, I should hope you choke on them."
A collection of "oohs" went around the table and he couldn't help but laugh. "That's not a very nice thing to say," he mumbled.
She sniffed haughtily. "You'd best be nice to me or you boys can trudge home by yourselves."
The others dived into pleading and arguments for why she needed to stay, and Quatre managed to roll his eyes and stay out of her fun.
Same ol' Dorothy. Apparently she wasn't upset at all if he'd done or said anything improper last night…. Granted if he had, she probably would have found it more amusing than disturbing. But still, one image in particular wouldn't quit nagging at him as he slowly worked it over in his head.
He left the group to noisily talk amongst themselves again, to retrieve one of the "special" muffins from the counter. The comments that he overheard were priceless. A grouping of men conning and cajoling over the coy affections of a young lady as though they hadn't seen one in years.
He had a hard time remembering that he was the youngest among them.
It wasn't until Rasid entered the room and promptly dismissed the entire group back to their stations, with a bit more gruff than necessary, that Quatre managed to get the smile off his face. The elder man began an apology for their intrusion as they all sneaked out the door, but Dorothy's sudden pout rendered him completely speechless.
Quatre nearly had to spit out his bite of muffin. Rasid blinked her at deflated doe-eyes and then sighed with a shake of his head. He finally just turned around and walked out of the room, dumbfounded by the emotion-toying minx.
And Quatre just laughed. Never in his life had he witnessed Captain Rasid Kurama lose total composure in the face of any enemy, or battle… or teenaged girl.
Dorothy solemnly looked after him at the closed door a moment, giving Quatre the benefit of seeing her crestfallen expression at the total loss of her fan club, before turning towards his side of the room. "Well, you seem to be in better spirits, Master Winner," she stated, her little pet name for him coming out formal.
He dabbed a hand to one of his eyes and walked back to her table. "I am now," he admitted.
He tossed the half-eaten muffin on the table and sat down, placing his elbows on its top in front of her, his red shirt clashing terribly with the orange top. "How are you feeling?" she asked, her voice going back to softer tones.
Inwardly he sighed, "A little worse for wear." He didn't look up at her, and instead dropped his head forward, using his elbows to support him as he reached his hands around to knead at the back of his neck.
She scooted herself towards him, uncrossing her legs to sit up straight. "Quatre?" He forced himself to look up at her from his slouched position. He watched her eyes change from mild curiosity to full worry as she searched his eyes. "What's wrong?" she whispered.
He blinked, not wanting to scare her. "I'll be fine," he assured her automatically.
Not only did it not work, but it was obviously the wrong thing to say. Her worry hardened instantly in her eyes, "You tried that line on me last night, and apparently I shouldn't have trusted you then."
"Dorothy…." Her look cut him off before he knew what he was going to say.
"Don't give me that." He silently figured out that from now on he would never complain of Rasid's disapproving concern again, compared to her. But just as quickly, she closed her eyes and bit back a sigh, refocusing on him. "Quatre, please. Tell me what happened."
He swallowed and then looked down, figuring it wouldn't do anyone any harm if he just said it.
"They drugged me. I don't know for sure with what, but my best guess is Truth Serum."
He paused and waited for a reaction, but when one didn't come he raised his head to timidly meet her eyes. The flash of anger was gone, replaced by a scared worry that he would never have thought he'd see in her. At least over him.
Blinking, she shook her head, confusion setting in. "I don't know what that means."
Quatre felt his heart ache at having scared her and, without thinking, he reached out and covered one of her hands with his. Swallowing, he tried again. "Truth Serum is a suggestive hallucinogen. It's part of a group of interrogation drugs the Alliance developed several years back."
Her free hand reached out to brush his unruly bangs back. "And it's dangerous," she seemed to know it wouldn't be a question.
"Its side effects can be… damaging."
Those were the last words he thought she actually listened to. He should have known better than to think that concern would last. Maybe it actually did, she just… had a very rough way of showing it.
Quatre now sat in the tiny exam room on the supply ship, watching Dorothy watch him as she stood between him and the door as though she thought he'd try to run away. She had forced him into the Star Grazer's locker rooms without a word of warning to anyone else that they were leaving, and stated that if he didn't put on a spacesuit she'd put him in one herself.
He had officially given up arguing at that point.
Once they reached the med deck, the staff on duty had immediately dispatched someone to track down Sally, which he felt rather sorry for considering they had just come off downtime. But part of him was rather thankful that it was her.
Glancing back up he noted that Dorothy was staring absently into space. She hadn't said a word that didn't involve a threat since they left the mess hall. The realization that he had… well, that he had scared her, was making him rather uncomfortable. But he wasn't exactly in a great position to comfort her about his health at the moment.
Instead, the two stayed awkwardly silent… an occurrence that had never happened before as far as he could remember. The silent part anyway. And so, of course, his memories decided to choose this time to plague him with images from the night before.
Which kept including a scene that he was almost starting to believe.
Glancing at her again, he found her still staring passively. Deciding enough was enough, he forced down the fears, bent on at least getting her to say something.
Sally strode through the door behind her before he could open his mouth though. Taking a quick look at Dorothy, she then turned to him. "Quatre, what'd you do to yourself this time?"
He forced a smile. "Hello Sally, I'm sorry to trouble you."
"Oh yeah? Well, if this is a social call I'm going back to bed."
"I'm sorry," he winced with the apologized.
Both blonds ended up giving him an annoyed look. Stifling a yawn Sally turned back to Dorothy who hadn't moved. "And you are…?"
"Dorothy Catalonia," she extended her hand.
Sally shook it and then blinked. "Delmare's cousin, right? I didn't know you were actually here."
"I was a late arrival," she brushed it off.
"Yeah, well, the more the merrier," the other muttered, walking over to him. "So, you don't look so bad," she commented. "What's the odd emergency?"
Quatre blinked up at her. "No emergency really," he tried.
Dorothy cleared her throat from behind them in a warning.
He sighed, still looking up at Sally. "Before you got here, they detained me and tried to get me to give away that there were other people who knew we suspected them. They drugged me, and I can't shake it," he abbreviated.
Sally started. "They what?"
He didn't get the chance to try to rephrase that before she moved into action.
"Roll up your sleeve." Turning around she began searching for whatever she needed and he grudgingly complied. "Do you know what they used?"
He stalled. "It was definitely a hallucinogen."
Sally paused, and slowly turned back to him. He met her eyes as she fully absorbed that.
He was ready for the berating that he should have been in here immediately afterwards. He was even ready for her to slap the new charges against the Delmares. He was not, however, ready for her to grab a medical gown off the shelf and throw it at him.
"Strip. Now."
She didn't even pause to look back as she nearly ran out the door, calling around the deck for a full tissue scan, and blood work.
Dorothy stared after her a moment before turning back and meeting his eyes again. He remembered to shut his mouth as he blinked and looked back down at the gown. "Well… I'll just be out there then," she mumbled, stiffly turning and walking out the door, closing it behind her for privacy.
After forty-five minutes of being scanned, pinched, prodded and watching three vials of blood come out of his arm, Quatre felt worse than when he started. Sally had finally told him to get dressed as she went to supervise the scan results.
Pulling on his shirt, he left it un-tucked, missed the top two buttons and rolled up the other sleeve too, just in case they needed another vein. All things that he had been trained since the tender age of two never to do in public. But after having the entire shift of medical workers now more acquainted with him then he would have personally liked, he didn't feel he cared.
There was a soft tap on the door as he sat back down on the exam table, again feeling tired and drained. "Come in," he managed, figuring they couldn't do any more to him.
Dorothy slipped in, closing the door behind her, and Quatre hated himself for keeping her here. "Dorothy, I'm sorry. I didn't think they'd need all of these—"
"Shush," she admonished him. Pacing up in front of him, she frowned at him slightly. "Are you all right?"
He gave her a weary glance and let himself turn away. "I don't have a high enough degree to answer that right now," he muttered, half bitter, half just tired of the question. They fell back into that awkward silence and he regretted speaking to her like that. He fought for a way to apologize that wouldn't just get her annoyed at him, but couldn't come up with one.
"Why didn't you tell?"
He snapped back up to look at her. It wasn't an accusation. She wasn't bitter or angry. She just seemed… sad. Oh no, he wouldn't see that look in her. Not again.
Rising from the table, he made her take step back to make room for him. "I'm sorry, I am. I just…. I didn't want to worry you."
She started, giving him a confused expression. "Worry me? Quatre," she made a motion over his appearance "this worries me."
He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry—"
"Would you stop saying that!" The outburst caught him off guard as he met her eyes.
And he stopped, seeing, for just a brief second before she turned away, something he shouldn't have. Something she would never know that she let slip. …He saw fear in her.
But he did nothing. Couldn't do a thing but stand there and look after her as she made her way to the side of the little room, pointedly finding something else to focus her attention on. And for the life of him, he could find absolutely nothing that he could say to her.
The door burst open without warning and Sally strode in, a data pad in hand. "How all of you have the devil's luck, I will never know. But I do not intend to be around when you lose it." Looking at him pointedly she motioned him to sit back down.
He complied, casting a glance at Dorothy, who had turned to follow the verdict, her expression calm again.
"You have a little damage to your lung tissue, but nothing that won't heal on its own. No marathons for a while," she teased. She didn't notice that he didn't find it amusing. "All in all, you'll be fine. You should be thankful that you're as old as you are. If you went through this with a fifteen year old system you'd be breathing through a tube."
He swallowed down the information solemnly.
"As it is, you're lucky to be alive," she turned soft, and he met her almond shaped eyes. "They gave you a de-tox when you became unstable. Any slower and it wouldn't have been enough." She pointed to the bump on his head, "And they obviously figured knocking you out would be the best way to get your heart rate down."
"I guess that explains why I couldn't breathe," he offered.
"What do you remember?"
He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I can't make it all out. I remember being in the storage room with the Delmares, Ferra injected me, and then I guess I must have gone under because all I have are vague images."
"Well, you weren't under long. If Truth Serum reacts this badly, it does it quick."
"I was right then," he muttered.
"Yeah, how they got it is what I want to know. And if I have to pin him down with a vial myself, I'll figure it out. This stuff can't be trusted, especially on a developing system. I'm amazed that it did as little damage as it did."
He nodded.
"Regardless… you're going to have to dry out." He looked up, not liking the sound of that. She folded her hands around the data pad. "Twenty four hour bed rest."
"What?"
"No excuses," she stated with finality.
He stopped himself but then swallowed. "Sally, I can't sleep," he confided.
She nodded understandingly. "I know. I'll give you a few mild sedatives, get you past REM and you'll be fine." She held up a few packets and then re-thought her actions and silently offered them across to Dorothy instead, who took them with a silent nod.
Dorothy's look was the only thing that kept him from arguing again.
"Meanwhile, I have a debriefing, which is not going to be pretty, and I'm adding endangerment charges on them."
"No." He looked up, finally confident with the word for once. "I won't press charges."
"Quatre, they tried to kill you."
"They wouldn't have given me a de-toxigen if they wanted me dead."
"Quatre—"
"No, Sally," he matched her tone until she finally blinked and then grudgingly nodded.
Sighing she made her way out of the room again. "And I thought Wufei was the most stubborn self-riotous…" she trailed off out in the hall.
He dropped his head again as he rubbed at his eyes. Dorothy's silent presence was a solid object in the room. He didn't bother to open his eyes again as he dropped his hand away. "You may as well say it," he stated softly, knowing she would berate him for not taking a stronger course of action with the charges.
"Say what?" came the mild reply. He looked up to find her pacing over in front of him, her hands behind her back. "That you shouldn't be so forgiving of a woman who tried to kill you in some pointless battle?"
Quatre found her eyes, set in their usual passive calm once more. "Not quite the same thing," he mumbled, finding the similarities between Dorothy and Ferra far fewer than the differences.
She let the smirk slip into place, adding a touch of humor to her eyes. "Really," she turned away, the expression growing, "I'm beginning to think you just have a thing for blonds."
With all his heart, he just wanted to hug her at that moment. He let the smile come and even let a small chuckle escape at the comment. She smiled as she turned away from him, rounding to pace back the other way, her hair billowing after her….
Sweeping towards his left side.
Quatre cringed, preparing for the blinding pain that he knew would come with the touch of it against him, fear preventing him from moving. But the silken strands wafted gently past him, causing no more harm then they ever could.
He puffed out the breath that he'd caught, the remembered image shaking him to the core. Dorothy whirled at the sound and returned to stand in front of him. "Quatre?"
"Answer me, Quatre!"
He snapped his head up, the room glowing red with the flashes of explosions. She stood above his slouched form, anger burning in her eyes.
"Tell me, Quatre!"
"No!" It came out as no more than a choked whisper.
"Quatre!" Two hands clamped onto his shoulders. He blinked, the touch snapping the image from his head, the reality of her touch forced him to find her real eyes. Wide and frightened.
"Dorothy..." He reached out, grabbing a hold of her and wrapping his arms around her, thankful that she was solid. He tried to calm his breathing again as he dropped his head against her shoulder.
Her hands on his shoulders moved shakily to embrace him as well. "Quatre?"
"It was you," he managed to get out. "That's why none of this makes sense."
He felt her move a hand to gently caress the nape of his neck. "What's me?"
He just rested against her for a moment, half standing, half sitting against the table, trying to capture some of the images, some of the voices. A large room, and Dorothy. He didn't remember anyone else. But he remembered questions, and feeling that it wasn't right. His side bursting into agony when her hair had brushed him. More than likely the result of his lung functions diminishing his oxygen, or a severe warning….
And then, her eyes had changed and he knew it was Ferra. And everything had gone dark and silent, and….
"Quatre… don't die."
If his side hadn't been burning, he may have tried to answer a question, he may have tried to hide that he couldn't breathe. …Was is possible? Could he have actually… felt her?
Slowly he loosened his oppressively tight grip on her and moved to look up at her. Her frightened eyes brought him fully back to reality again, only imagining what he'd just put her through.
"I can remember it," he offered weakly.
She didn't understand.
He shakily rose completely to his feet and pulled her into real hug. He started again, "It's a suggestive drug. That means someone has to lead you through it. Ask questions, whatever. But you develop a space that you're not afraid to answer them in. You… find a person you trust," he admitted.
"And you thought it was me?"
He thought that through again and nodded. "It could have been that I matched the voice with a female, or I could have just been worried about you, or anything. I just…." He fought through the images, the pain, the look of anger in her eyes. "I knew it wasn't you."
He closed his eyes again, willing the images out of him, maybe for the last time. Instead he concentrated on the feeling of her in his arms. She was real…. And he was really squashing her.
Consciously letting go of her enough to make sure that she could still breathe, he calmed himself down again. "Dorothy, I'm—"
"Don't say it," she interrupted. Pulling back she gave him a weary expression and shook her head. "You never get normal injuries do you?"
He smiled at the attempt. "How are you going to write that great epic otherwise?"
She tried a grateful smile at the comment and gave him a quick hug. "I know you're sick of this, but please tell me you'll be all right."
He melted against her, hearing the concern she was feeling. "I will be. I guess I just had to get this worked through," he answered honestly.
She nodded before releasing him completely, and he grudgingly let her go. Picking up the packets of sedatives that she'd obviously dropped at some point, she raised an eyebrow at him. "Well, let's get you back and tucked in again, shall we?"
And he paled, the warmth of emotions he had just felt suddenly shriveled and died. "I was sort of hoping that some of that didn't actually happen," he muttered.
He noticed too late that her predatory smirk was out in full force and her eyes had dropped to half slits. He swallowed nervously as she stepped back to him, meeting his eyes forcefully. One of her hands slipped lightly up his chest, meeting skin over his unbuttoned collar, and then wrapped itself around his neck. "I would have to be disappointed if you've forgotten me," she cooed.
His pale shock gave way to what had to be a burning red blush to match his shirt as he stood perfectly still, praying for all he was worth that he hadn't done what he thought he had….
And Dorothy's look finally cracked as she started laughing whole-heartedly at him. Somehow that didn't settle him as much as it should have. But she shook her head and turned away, taking his hand and pulling him after her out of the room.
Right now, he was ready to go back to bed, because most of him wished he'd never woke up.
After approximately six hours, Heero had officially given up and decided that his report sheets sounded more interesting than lying in bed any longer. He'd gotten up, showered and was out the door in less than ten minutes, waking no one but Duo, who had rolled over and smashed his pillow over the top of his head.
Heero had chosen a table in the empty mess hall near the windows again, opening his laptop in front of him. …And had been staring at a blank report sheet for most of an hour. So far he'd managed to type in his name and badge number, and he'd given sporadic thought to what he should actually include, and what to decline to mention.
He'd come to the realization that paperwork was not physical enough for him to be able to keep his mind focused. At least when he didn't care.
He looked up to see Duo enter, yawning with both arms stretched over his head. Apparently he'd given up early too.
Snagging a cup of the last shift's coffee, he wandered over and sat down across from him. "Hello, my name is Duo Maxwell. I'm seventeen and I'm a caffeine addict," he muttered, promptly dropping his head down on the table without even tasting the coffee.
Heero eyed him vaguely before scooting his laptop over a few inches, managing to block his slumped form completely from his line of vision.
Absently he still stared at the screen, and wondered exactly how much of that statement was true. Or, if Duo himself, even knew if any of it was true. Besides the caffeine part. But Heero was reasonably sure that the other ex-pilot wasn't positive of his real name, or his real age either.
Reasonably sure. There tended to be an unwritten rule that the group didn't exactly ask about past history. Once in a while things came out, more due to the fact that they were around each other, rather than due to any real intent. Heero had ended up spending a couple weeks with Duo before the Mariemaia conflict, gathering Intel on the situation.
…It really hadn't been all that convenient.
Giving up on the report, he turned his attention to the windows beside them. The dark of space was all that was present on this side of the ship, the internal lights too bright to make out most of the stars.
Casually a couple fingers appeared over the edge of the laptop screen, pushing it down until a pair of dark indigo eyes and one raised eyebrow appeared over the top. Heero eyed him back with boredom until Duo blinked at him. "You OK?"
"Hn." He turned back to the computer, raising the screen to again block him out.
There was a soft thud from the other side of it, followed by a muffled grumble. "Right. What was I thinking?"
Heero inwardly sighed and started into the report, his typing the only sound in the room for quite a while before he hit Reason for accepting case parameters. There were no case parameters; he didn't even have a case number to include with the report. And as far as why he "accepted" the assignment….
He never had the choice. He knew she would go, even before she said anything. Attempting to talk her out of it…. He wouldn't do that, even if he could have. He'd simply followed her, partial blind, for no other reason than that she wanted to go.
She needed to go. Her heart was set on it, probably before they ever got to the satellite. She had a responsibility that she wouldn't back down from. And she had loved ones potentially in trouble.
And he…. He trusted her judgment. He'd gone half-blind, with no discernable course of action, out of sheer trust.
That was not a settling feeling. Trust was still an issue with him. He'd slowly figured out teamwork, mostly due to the fact that the others were better at it than he was. He'd come to rely on them, trust their abilities and even their intentions. But, that wasn't the same.
He was trusting her with things that were even out of her control. He'd simply believed in her.
Try as he might, he knew better than to think he could get her to stay out of the way completely. His task would always include fending off the worst-case scenario before it got to her, not if it got to her.
He had no choice but to follow her. Just like he'd warned the others about.
Motion, out of the corner of his eye, turned his attention to the door as Relena and Alli entered. Relena was apparently down to borrowing most of her wardrobe as she entered in a pair of charcoal agent slacks, which hung long on her, and an officer's issue T-shirt with the badge logo on her left side.
Closing down the laptop, Heero was a bit surprised that he'd forgotten Duo was still lying across the table from him, his head on his arms. Alli moved to the food section and Relena turned their way, giving Duo's unresponsive form a worried look.
She made it within a few feet before Duo shifted, settling his head to the side and blinking open his eyes to see who it was, before they closed again. "Morning, Beautiful," he greeted.
Relena blinked. "Good morning. You don't seem like you slept well." She slid into the side chair between the two.
"Nope, slept like crud. How 'bout you?"
She gave him an unseen sympathetic smile and then placed her elbows on the table to hold her chin up. "I think I passed out a couple hours ago." She turned to Heero, a tired expression in place. "They called Sally back to the med deck this morning for something, so she'll be late."
He nodded, searching her eyes for what had kept her up last night, a bit of worry creeping in. She must have noticed it because she gave him a reassuring smile, her eyes softening out to that same expression again.
"Why do I have to be at this?" came a mutter from the tabletop.
They both looked down at him. "Sally will need a statement," he answered.
"Paperwork sucks," came the reply.
Relena laughed at his response. Softly she moved his braid to drape down his back instead of over his shoulder in his face. She gave him a quick pat, shaking her head at his display, and got a sleepy groan for an acknowledgement.
Silently Heero looked back and forth between the two, the image of the walk back to their quarters last night coming up as well. He had honestly thought that he could count the number of times the two had been in the same room together. This just seemed… discomforting.
Ry and Delano made their way in, both looking better then he felt. Taking a glance around they joined Alli in finding something for breakfast.
He was going to have to confront the three of them eventually, but Heero hadn't dedicated himself to that fate quite yet. Deciding that delaying sounded better than having a confrontation in a soon to be public setting, he got to his feet and collected the laptop. "I'll wait in the observation room," he mumbled to Relena's inquiring expression.
"Mind some company?" she asked quietly, not moving yet from her seat.
He shook his head and she gave him a slightly grateful smile that he wasn't sure he understood, before she rose from her seat as well. Giving Duo's silent form one more curious look, she followed after him. When they were out of earshot she looked up at him oddly. "Is he going to be all right?"
Heero blinked at her. "He's been through worse."
They were out in the nearly empty hallway before he noticed her shake her head. "Just for the record, that statement never makes me feel better with you guys."
He eyed her for a moment as they walked along, silently figuring that was true.
He opened the door to the room and she slipped in ahead of him. Heero stood in the doorway a moment, watching her move into the dimmer lit lounge, her hair wafting gently after her from the ponytail she had it in. Softly he cursed himself for forgetting that instead of confronting his officers, he was now confronting Relena… alone.
He stepped in after her, setting the computer down on one of the chairs. Relena paced up to the windows, the view of Mars hung in space, its edge lit by the sun. Hugging her arms around her, she stared out at the view.
"Are we only building a new battlefield?" she asked, cautiously placing a hand against the window in front of her.
Heero silently figured that question had been weighing on her for a while. Possibly what had kept her from resting last night. Glancing out at the view, he knew it would continue to worry her. "Yes," he answered honestly.
She lowered her head, her shoulders drooping slightly. "I honestly thought that we wouldn't be sending Earth's sins out here. That this place could be devoid of it…" she shook her head sadly. "We shouldn't have come."
Heero heard the note in her voice and stepped up quietly behind her, coming close enough to stand guard over her emotions as well. "We can't limit humanity because of fear."
The words picked her eyes back up to look out again at the red planet. "What will we do if this leads to war again?"
Silently he watched the side of her face as she stared out. No war was ever different from any others. The people and the reasons may change, but the causes never did. If it came to war again…. "We'll be here."
The comment dropped her hand from the window and she turned to look back at him. He met her eyes as she searched his. He didn't know what she was looking for, but he hoped that she found it.
If battles erupted, if war started, even if it only became a political arena, she would be in the middle of it. Relena Peacecraft…. She could change her name all she wanted, but it wouldn't make a bit of difference to how she moved through this life. She would forever be pulled in the same directions, always called to the same situations, no matter what she did, or what she became.
And so was he. He could have attempted to run away, could have placed himself into hiding, tried to play out a normal life… but it wouldn't have worked. More than likely, he would still have ended up standing on one of these ships here today anyway. His instincts drove him to recognize these situations. He would never rest easy.
In the dim lighting that reflected in her eyes… he began to understand their similarities instead of their differences.
"Heero," she broke into his thoughts. "May I ask you a question?"
He blinked and then nodded slightly. Yes, he mentally practiced.
She let a slow smile creep into her expression, "How did you know by favorite color was blue?"
…What? He must have looked as dumbfounded as he felt because she finally let the chuckle break through, and then turned fully and stepped into him, wrapping her arms around his waist.
He let her laughter work its way into his turbulent thoughts, and then wrapped his arms around her as well. He felt her shoulders shake as her giggles turned quiet, and she relaxed easily into his arms.
He allowed his eyes to close as he held her loosely. He should have known better than to worry. Obviously, in the face of their entire unwritten history… she wanted to be with him.
For some reason, that thought plagued him even more. Instead of feeling warmed by it, it turned his heart cold. Reopening his eyes he looked out at the planet and the dark space that it hung in. He wasn't sure he believed in destiny, but whatever he called it, he was sure that as long as he was alive… these would be his missions.
Turning inward, he felt her against him. Relena. As long as he was by her side she would have to be drawn into these conflicts. But if he wasn't there….
He felt her cheek move against his shoulder. Her face close enough to his neck that he felt her eyelashes blink open. "Heero?" She must have felt the difference in him. "What is it?"
He closed his eyes again, "This will never end."
The words seemed to hang untouched for a long moment as neither one of them moved. Finally she stirred just a little to wrap her arms around him tighter. "No," she swallowed. "Violence, greed… politics. They'll always be here."
He listened to her closely. Her breathing was calm; her heartbeat was too soft to notice.
"But we're the ones that get to choose this time," she whispered quietly. "Maybe in our lifetime we can keep it from happening."
There was something so strong, but so calming in her words that he believed her, completely.
Her grip tightened involuntarily again as he felt her shift. "Heero. Will you stay with me?"
Worry. He didn't necessarily hear it in her whispered voice, but he felt it in her. His breath caught in his throat.
If he was truly destined to always be called into these fights, then so was she. He realized that no matter what he did, she would always be called the same direction. Even if he left her, they would collide again and again, over each new outbreak, any major threat.
He moved a hand up her back and rested it at the nape of her neck, attempting to push her back. She responded and released her arms enough to look up at him. Her eyes were worried, and he felt a pang of regret for putting it there.
They were far too similar. For all of their dealings, they knew each other too well. Looking at her, he knew she wouldn't let him go. Each time they were placed together, she would try to hold on. And he….
His expression softened, and he knew she saw it. Where could he possibly go? He finally, honestly, belonged somewhere.
He belonged with her. Why should they walk through this alone if they were always going to be forced back together? He'd already tried that. All he would manage to do is miss the peaceful times. Miss her laughter, her smile, her touch, when everything seemed to be all right and she didn't need to worry. Something he never would have known that he could miss before.
He focused on her eyes again, recognizing their look. He must have already given her an answer because the worry had been eased out of her. A serene smile pulled at her lips, and he lost focus on anything else.
Almost unconsciously he sunk his face towards hers, but paused again, letting a nagging doubt creep in as he recognized his actions.
But this time, Relena didn't wait for him.
Instead, she moved her lips to meet his and her arms tightened around him once more. His own embrace turned solid as his hand on her neck lightly kept her from breaking away. Their kiss was gentle, warm and slow. He could feel her breath on his cheek as she slowly exhaled and he learned how to breathe through a kiss.
One of her hands on his back moved lightly against him and it sent a tiny shiver up his spine. Finally letting her lips go, he backed away just enough to look at her. Her eyes fluttered half open, their beautiful blue reflecting the dim lights around them. Her expression…. That look would burn itself into his memory for as long as he lived.
He had already crossed the point of no return with her. His heart was already set here, and his emotions would never forgive him if he tried to leave her now.
He let the smile form on his lips and he leaned in to place his forehead against hers, closing his eyes and finally knowing it was all right to want to be close to her. He felt her lift her head enough that she bumped her nose into his and he pulled back to see the full smile on her face.
His heart puddled at seeing it, as she moved her cheek against his and pulled herself into a close hug. He let the feeling linger as he leaned into her, bowing his head until his chin and lips sat against her shoulder.
He was more than prepared to live with his decision.
There was a reverberation on the metal decking from the hallway and he picked his head up off her shoulder to listen. More than one person. Likely their group then. He brought his face next to hers again, and let himself revel in her touch just a second longer, drawing on her calm.
He pulled away from her, slowly releasing his arms from around her and she let him go. Taking a step back she folded her hands together in front of her. She looked up at him with a smile in her eyes.
"I owe the others an explanation for some of this," he stated quietly, now hearing the voices that alerted him to their approach.
Her expression dropped and she searched his face. "Are you sure?"
That same concern over him. He wasn't sure he would ever get use to that. But he nodded anyway.
She relaxed and lowered her eyes to the side. "I think you can trust them."
He'd find out. Heero turned to watch the door over his shoulder as the voices grew louder and turned the corner towards them. The door slit open and Duo's braid backed its way into the room as he carried on laughing at something.
Swirling around he caught sight of the two of them and blinked. "Oops. Maybe we should come back at a better time, huh?" He eyed him up and down, and when he didn't get a reaction he sighed and waved a hand at him. "Never mind, what was I thinking?"
He instead sauntered behind him to Relena and slung an arm over her shoulders as they leaned against the windows.
"You look better," she said warmly.
"Oh, just the sight of you, Princess."
Heero gave the two another look as Relena rolled her eyes and sighed. He specifically walked back, leaning back beside Duo as well.
Ry, Alli and Delano filed in and arranged themselves into the chairs in front of them. Sally stormed in behind them, looking rather annoyed. "Does anyone else need to tell me about a serious medical condition that they didn't bother to get checked?"
She took an accusatory look especially at the three of them in the front before plopping down in a seat behind his officers and slinging her knees over the arm.
"Say what?" Duo blinked.
She waved a hand at them. "Quatre failed to mention that he just about got himself killed yesterday."
Duo and Relena started. "What?"
"Apparently they used Truth Serum on him, and he just didn't think that was worth telling us about."
Heero forced down the mild panic. Duo went livid. "What! How? When?"
Sally held up both hands to ward them off. "He's all right. No major damage. But I've told him to stay out of commission for a day." She looked up with an annoyed glance at Heero. "But he won't press charges."
Heero mulled that over. "No, he wouldn't."
"Sally, he's going to be okay, right?" Relena asked quietly.
She nodded. "He's fine. I sent him back with Miss Dorothy to keep him in line for a while though."
"Dorothy?" Relena interrupted.
"You didn't know she was here either?" Duo blinked. "Good, I don't feel so bad."
She leaned around the other ex-pilot and looked up at Heero. He nodded to her, and she blinked, obviously confused how she fit into this, but leaned back again.
"Yeah, can the rest of us get a program, 'cause we got lost back at round two somehow," Ry interjected.
Alli sat next to him, her arms and her legs crossed, looked rather bitter. "I'd personally like to know how our fearless leader fits in with all of this stuff?"
Heero took a look at the three of them while every eye in the room turned to him.
"Yeah, don't get too cozy with his 'fearless leader' side. You try to do him a favor and next thing you know you're sucker punched and locked up," Duo grumbled. Heero turned to give him a look just in time to see Relena elbow him.
"Duo, you're not helping."
"What did I do?" he balked, finally removing his arm from her shoulders.
From the chairs, Sally began giggling merrily to herself. "That's what happened to you!"
Duo snapped back to glare at her. "I never did get an apology from you."
She blinked. "For what? I'm not the one that left you."
Deflated, Duo turned to Heero again and sighed. "Yeah, never got one from you either."
Heero closed his eyes a moment, deciding that the damage was already done to this situation. "I told you, one for one."
"You coulda just let me in on the plan! I could have faked it."
Without looking up he muttered, "What fun would that be?"
Duo's eyes bugged as he turned on him. "…Why you sadistic, stoic, antisocial—"
With a dramatic sigh, Relena reached up and grabbed the back of his collar, lightly preventing him from moving any closer. "I don't know what this is about and I don't want to, but can we at least be diplomatic about it?" she mumbled.
Duo deflated and then turned to look back at her. "Aren't you dating the wrong guy to be talking about diplomacy?" he accused. Relena's eyes narrowed pointedly and Duo took a nervous step closer to Heero. Turning from her to him he muttered, "She's officially been around you too long."
"Well…" Ry mumbled. "I'm glad someone knows each other around here."
Heero silently scrutinized the same thing and waited for the two to acknowledge the comment.
Relena smiled, casting Duo a glance and then shrugged. "I know his girlfriend rather well." Stopping, she turned back to him again. "Speaking of which…?"
Duo rubbed a nervous hand against the back of his neck. "Yeah, she's going to hurt me when we get back." He chuckled lightly. "You wouldn't mind putting in a good word for me, would ya?"
Relena turned away with a smirk. "Maybe if you're nice."
He slumped. "Oh, come on, after all this!"
Ry stood up, throwing his hands into the air with exasperation. "That's it! I don't even what to know anymore." Vaguely he waved a hand around the room and sighed. "You people are nuts. I give up! I want transferred somewhere normal."
Alli grabbed the back of his shirt and yanked him back down again. "No way! You four have some explaining to do," she eyed over them pointedly and even pinning Sally back down in her seat. Turning back to Duo she glared. "And I don't even have a clue where you came from."
The whole room stayed quiet a moment until Duo broke eye-contact and eased over to lean into Heero's shoulder. "Uh…." Meeting his eyes, Heero watched his surprised features nod towards them and then shake his head no, silently asking if they knew. He slowly shook his head as well, and Duo faltered. "Oops."
Relena stepped away from them and paced over to the three. "Ry Noland, Alli Carver and Delano Ather." Motioning back towards Duo she made his introduction, "Duo Maxwell."
He straightened, giving them a goofy smile and a wave.
"…Gundam pilot," Delano mumbled. Everyone in the room snapped their attention to the quiet man as his eyes appraised Duo. "I was on colony at the time you were captured. After the media event that they made out of you, I thought you looked familiar. But after yesterday… that's the only thing that makes sense."
Duo rose both hands to his hips with a shrug. "Yeah, my fifteen minutes wasn't real pretty."
"Wait…" Ry was lost again.
"What…" Alli blinked. Slowly coming to she looked back up at Relena and then over to Heero and then back to Relena. "You already knew that."
Relena turned her attention down to her and nodded with a slight smile.
Delano focused back on Heero. "The knowledge of Miss Relena's family, the inhuman abilities, the odd references yesterday, and the fact that you and Mr. Winner seems to know each other far better than anyone who met a month ago should. They all add up."
"So…." The three officers focused on him, and Heero regarded them evenly. "You're…. You…."
He didn't figure any of them were going to get much closer than that and he nodded anyway.
Ry found a fun curse for the occasion and then finally blinked. "I knew you weren't normal."
"This isn't one of those…" Alli looked back and forth between him and Duo, "'now that you know we're going to have to kill you' type things is it?"
Heero saw Relena lick her lips and then bite down on her bottom one to keep from laughing. Failing miserably she shook her head and paced back towards him. "Not any more," he muttered.
The three looked confused and then Ry turned around in his seat to stare back at Sally, who was lounged back through the whole thing. "And you…?"
"Oh no!" she held up her hands. "I'm just the salvage operation."
Questioning her on how she knew about all of this, Heero watched Relena come back to his side. "That wasn't very subtle."
Duo hooked an elbow to lean on his other shoulder. "Um… I sorta figured that they, kinda, well… knew."
Heero turned to face his sheepish expression and shook his head. "It's all right." He glanced over the group that had turned to look at the three of them. "I'm going to have to start trusting them."
The three got it and they all nodded to him.
"So… St. Gabriel's," Ry looked at the two of them, "was a cover."
Relena hugged her arms to herself as Heero nodded.
"It wasn't until after my father was assassinated that I learned the truth," she commented quietly.
Alli blinked, and then glanced at Sally and then back to her. "So you do have a thing for the dangerous types," she winked.
Relena glanced up to meet his eyes a moment and then looked back down, a quick blush coming to her checks.
Heero stared down at her, confused. He felt Duo remove his elbow from his shoulder as a hip bumped him hard enough to stumble him closer to her. He turned to glare at him but only got his braid as he very casually walked back the other direction.
Relena's laugh echoed with the others as she turned around to face away from them and out the windows.
"Welp," Duo announced with a stretch. "This has just been fun."
"Wait…." Ry stood up from his chair and glanced vaguely around the room. "Now, aside from being… well, scary and weird, I can see you," he pointed towards Heero, "and maybe you," he muttered, eyeing Duo. "But… Mr. Winner?" he blinked.
Duo vaguely waved a hand and paced back towards them. "See, no one ever suspects Quatre."
Heero eyed him, "He's better at being quiet."
Duo paced up beside them again and started, glaring at him a moment before leaning back against the window. "Just hope you don't get Quatre mad." He paused, rethinking that. "Or in a hurry…. Or—"
Heero gave him a look to shut up.
"Oh," Alli mumbled. "He's got Relena-syndrome."
Relena turned back around to face the group at the mention of her name.
Ry flopped back down in his chair, slumping low. "Yeah, the phrase 'shoot me or open the door' comes to mind about now."
Heero and Duo both started, turning to look at her as she gave the chuckling group a bitter stare. "Traitors."
Duo stared at her openly. "You did what?"
Relena gave Heero a rather annoyed look that he didn't think he deserved, before sighing. "Well, since someone informed the entire ship that I was not allowed to be roaming around, I had to take a few measures into my own hands."
Alli chuckled. "They wouldn't let her into the command center when you guys showed up looking for her."
"That poor officer," Ry muttered. "Did we get his name? I think we owe him an apology note."
Duo blinked, looking around him again. "You mean we stood there for fifteen minutes trying to find you because someone put you into seclusion?" He took a quick glance around and then back to Heero, who was giving him a look again. "…Oh."
"Well, not everyone trusts me," Relena grumbled, but then gave Heero a joking smile.
Ry snorted. "That little display didn't inspire a whole lot of trust in me either."
"You chose to follow along," Relena muttered.
"I'm telling ya," Duo again leaned an arm on his shoulder, "fiery." Heero didn't acknowledge him.
"Now wait," Ry interjected. "Does…. Well, do the Preventers actually know who they gave that jacket to?" he asked, eyeing him.
Heero paused, "There are very few who know this. But Commander Une is one of them."
"Great," Ry muttered, turning to Alli. "Don't ever let me say I want to be an agent again."
Alli took her hand and smacked the back of his head with it. "Would you shut up?"
Duo chuckled. "I like those two," he mumbled to Heero as they began arguing again.
Heero gave him a noncommittally look but then sighed.
"Alright, settle down," Sally admonished. "I want statements and then you can go somewhere else to argue."
The group rehashed their latest exploits, sporadically asking questions in between, before Heero allowed the other three to leave. Relena had done a fine job of warning them within an inch of their lives not to saying anything in public. The three were… well shocked and a little off balance, but they seemed to be taking the brunt of it.
Of course, without ever honestly being there, the stories didn't have the same effect, and he hoped that meant they would never honestly know what went on. There would be questions, and conversations for months probably, with comments here and there. But they would still never really get an understanding of what went on, or what they had been through.
As the three left, he took a seat with Relena and she flashed him a smile. He figured it would be just fine with him if the others didn't know. He didn't care.
As Duo and Sally went through his part, Relena caught his eye and leaned into him a little farther. "Are you really all right with this?"
He nodded to her, fairly confident in their group. There were doubts… but then, he would always have those. Besides, they couldn't do any worse than Duo had with the information.
She smiled lightly, "Well, that wasn't so bad."
"Life is short. Forgive quickly. Kiss slowly." - Robert Doisneau
Proofed by: Lisa. Thank you!