I have no idea where this is going, Arg!

Ps. Thanks so much to reddwarfaddict, sunrise over the tango factory, rimmerslittlevoodoodoll and smegginitlarge for reviewing! Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou! Also, to Hermione 2000, do u think I'm crazy? Of course I'd never kill off Lister! I'm not that cruel. lol

The missile nudged starbug's rear with pure relish.

A colossal explosion. Blazing heat. Blinding light. Lister lurched forward smashing into starbug's controls with a sickening crunch. The g-force slammed into his body like a Double Decker bus, pinning him forward as the tiny craft hurtled through the air.

The remains of Lister's curry bubbled and hissed before splattering itself onto the screen. Lister no longer had any air to breath, it felt like his organs were forcing there way out via his throat. As he lay there, gasping for life, he just had time to see a large green planet and say "SMEG!" before his world went black.

Holly swished her hair back with a sigh, "Oh dear."

Rimmer gawped at the display in horror. "Lister! LISTER?"

"It's no use sir, after an explosion like that I don't think he'll be able to respond - oh, I feel terrible!"

All the Cat, Kryten and Rimmer could see was a smashed up version of Starbug's interior, and a load of sizzling vindaloo sauce slowly sliding its way down the screen.

"Lister? Can you hear me?"

Cat rolled his eyes, and snuggled comfortably on his chair, "Would you please keep it down?"

Rimmer ignored the cat, shouting into the microphone, "LISTER!"

"Look, grand canyon nostrils! If I don't get my beauty sleep one day I might end up looking like you! I don't think anybody deserves that!"

"Sir, if it makes you feel any better, that GELF that fired at us was a pain GELF."

Rimmer unglued his eyes from the screen for a second and glared at the mechanoid, "Oh yes you're right Kryten, that makes me feel so much better. Not only have I killed off another member of the crew, not only that, but I managed to give them as much pain as I possibly could before they snuffed it."

Kryten did his best to look quizzical, "I'm not sure you understand sir. A pain GELF was created to create as much pain as physically or mentally possible without death. Consequently I think it is accurate to say that Mister Lister is alive, and instead it is we who are in immediate danger." He paused for a moment, thinking, "As I say this, the GELF could be sneaking up on us, ready with one of the bazookoids it has raided from the storage bay, to knock us unconscious-"

Kryten stopped in mid sentence, as the pain GELF knocked him and the remains of the crew unconscious with a bazookoid it had raided form the storage bay.

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