ONE SHREK TO BRING THEM ALL
Chapter Three – Saving the Swamp
"The name is Shrek, and I'm already on a quest," said the Ogre angrily. "A quest to get my swamp back!"
Everyone stared. Gandalf finally spoke up. "Who would want to take a whole swamp?"
Shrek put his hands on his hips and glared at Gandalf. "It's my home, okay? And no one took it! I woke up one morning and it was filled with dead people!"
Aragorn looked confused. "Aren't the Dead Marshes supposed to be filled with dead people? I thought it was the Men, Elves and Orcs who fought in the first conflict with Sauron."
Shrek rolled his eyes. "Look, just because it's called the Dead Marshes doesn't mean that there have to be dead people floating around in it! I mean, I'm an Ogre, but I'll only go so far."
"Yeah!" Donkey piped up. "It was clean…for a swamp…until just a few days ago. Now there are dead bodies all over the place. The next thing you know, people are talking, saying you murdered a bunch of people, and then –"
"SILENCE!" thundered Elrond. The ground shook beneath the force of his word.
Frodo fell back in his chair like someone had hit him. "Sam," he asked weakly, "do you have anything for a headache?" He rubbed his temples.
Sam searched through his bag for a moment, and then brought out two aspirin. "Here you go, Mr. Frodo."
Elrond looked indignant. "You mean you've had aspirin this whole time and you never told me?"
Sam gulped. "You-you never asked."
"Grrrr." Elrond's hair was beginning to smoke. "May I have some aspirin?" He spoke through tight lips.
"Now, Mr. Elrond, say please." Sam chided him.
"Please."
"Frodo just took my last two!" Sam told him cheerfully. Then he ducked as Elrond's throne came flying over his head.
A shout from Boromir brought them all back to the matter at hand.