A/N: YIKES! I forgot to put this chapter in! It sorta explains how Donkey got put in the corner, LOL. Sorry! :)
DISCLAIMER: LOTR/Shrek not mine
Chapter Four: Shrek Examines the Ring
"Look! The Ogre has the Ring!" shouted Boromir. "We must kill him before he takes off with it!"
Shrek had picked up the Ring to examine it. "Hmm," he said. "You have to destroy this? Why? It's kind of…pretty." He put the Ring on his finger, and disappeared.
Donkey started to panic. "Where did you go? Shrek? Shrek! Don't leave me here to die!"
"Come off it!" An invisible hand slapped Donkey, to try to get him back in his right mind. Unfortunately, Donkey didn't know it was Shrek, so that made him worse. Donkey screamed like a little girl and jumped up into Elrond's lap.
Elrond threw the animal off of his lap. "OGRE! Reappear this instant and take care of this…this…pet of yours!"
"Pet?" Donkey was insulted. "I prefer 'noble steed'."
Elrond massaged his temples again and muttered, "Noble steed, my ass," under his breath.
Shrek reappeared, having taken off the Ring. "No, unfortunately, he's my ass." He grinned at Elrond, who shrunk back from the sight of those big teeth. "But you can borrow him any time."
Donkey stomped off to sulk in the corner. "Hmmph! I know when I'm not wanted."
Shrek rolled his eyes. "No, actually, you don't seem to know when you're not wanted. Don't forget how we met…"
"Will you two quit arguing and listen to me?" Elrond was nearly purple with rage. "I asked you go on this quest for me. Will you do it?"
Shrek turned the Ring over in his palm. "I guess so, but if I succeed in destroying this Ring, can I have my swamp back?"
"Sure, sure," Elrond waved a hand at him in dismissal. "Go on this quest and I'll give you your swamp back."
"And the dead bodies?" Shrek prompted him.
"As good as gone. Now can we please get back to business here before my head explodes?"
Frodo put in, "You really should take one of those aspirins. They do wonders for a headache." He ducked as a potted plant came flying at his head.