Chapter Six: Fuzzy Wuzzy Cuddly Fluff
"Hold it right there, Mister!" A female voice rang with authority.
Everybody turned around, but Aragorn cowered. He cursed audibly. He had almost made it out of Rivendell without a scene.
Shrek caught sight of Arwen Evenstar, and gave a whistle. "Who is that?"
"Arwen, Aragorn's fiancée," whispered Legolas.
"She's got him whipped," added Gimli.
Aragorn waved them to silence, and plastered an adoring smile on his face. "Yes, love?"
Arwen crossed her arms and scowled. "Where do you think you're going?"
Aragorn gulped. "Um, I'm going on a quest for your Father, to destroy the Ring of Power."
"Ring of Power, is it?" Arwen looked interested. "Let me see it."
Shrek shrugged and was about to hand it over when Legolas stopped him. "Wait, Shrek, don't do it."
"Why not?" asked Shrek.
"Because it's the Ring of 'Power'," Legolas replied. "If she gets any more power over Ary, he'll be eating dirt. Just look at him."
Aragorn was on his hands and knees, kissing Arwen's toes.
Shrek made a face. "You're right. Sorry," he told Arwen. "We're…um…" He looked to the others for help. Frodo made a gesture of pointing to his wrist. "Pressed for time, yeah, we…can't be late, you know."
Arwen pouted, then turned back to Aragorn. "But you were going to leave me without saying good-bye!"
Aragorn was torn. He wanted to appear as a macho, rugged King-to-be in front of the other men, but he also wanted to consider Arwen's feelings. After all, he would have to put up with her for the rest of his life. So he did what any respectable man would do.
He groveled.
"Oh please, my darling," he begged. "Don't be angry with me. I know my Iddy Biddy Widdle Dumpling wanted to say good-bye."
The Fellowship was wide-eyed. The Future King of Men was talking baby-talk.
Arwen smiled at him. "I know my Fuzzy Wuzzy Cuddly Fluff wouldn't hurt my feelings on purpose."
The Fellowship had tried desperately to keep a straight face. Or maybe they didn't try hard enough. At any rate, the "Fuzzy Wuzzy Cuddly Fluff" was the last straw. All ten of them dissolved into laughter.
Aragorn stiffly stood up. After a last courteous kiss to Arwen's cheek, he turned and strode out of Imladris.
But not before stepping on ten pairs of toes on his way out.