Title: Back of the Bottom Drawer
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate SG-1, Joan of Arcadia, or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Various companies and people own those rights. Chely Wright owns the song Back of the Bottom Drawer. At least, she sings it.
Summary: At the ripe old age of 21, Cassie looks back over her life, and her family's, with the help of objects from the past.
Author's notes: Come on, review! It's not so hard, you know. Just submit a review. They make me feel a lot better. glares at the black formal dress that she was forced to buy And I'm not in the happiest of moods at the moment. Does anyone know who invented high heels? Because I think they should be renamed high hells.
Please review?
In the back of the bottom drawer
Of the dresser by our bed
Is a box of odds and ends that I have always kept
"Hey, where'd this come from?" The question made the brunette look up. The other woman was fingering a locked engraved wooden box.
"My cousin gave it to me forever ago." Cassie Frasier watched the confusion play in her friend's eyes. She rarely talked about her 'family' although she knew her friends wondered. She didn't mind them knowing, but even she admitted that her family was just plain weird. The weirdness tended to creep people out. "She said I needed to confide in someone or something."
"So she gave you a box?" The young woman's eyebrow rose slightly.
"B said that she knew better than to give me a diary, but didn't know what else to give me. Her 'sister,' Willow, pointed out that a box would keep my secrets."
"How'd the box end up in the back of your drawer?" Joan Girardi pressed just a little more firmly.
"You just want to know the history that is locked inside, don't you?" Cassie laughed at the look on Joan's face. It was like looking into a happy clown's face while it did its best impression of a goldfish.
"Yeah," Joan said finally. "Yeah, I do."
"Fair enough," Cassie agreed. "Like I said, my cousin Buffy gave it to me. It was her graduation present to me."
"Wow," Joan laughed, "my siblings just told me to take my party somewhere else."
"I can imagine," Cassie was laughing as well. "I've met your family, remember?"
"How could I forget?" Joan's question brought Cassie's focus back to the subject.
"I don't really hide my past, you know." She barely whispered it, causing Joan to blink in surprise at the turn in the conversation.
"I was the baby of the cousins as we started finishing adolescence. I watched more than one relationship start and then die. Others simply started and then flourished. Others had already flourished and were dying after my cousins left high school." Cassie paused, considering her words. "One of my cousins had gone out with the same guy through high school and into college but it fell apart after that. Another started fucking a guy when she was still in high school and that developed into an actual relationship. They did things out of order, but they happened. They fucked then had a friendship, they fucked then dated. Then they broke up and got back together."
"What happened to that couple?"
Cassie picked up a photo album and pointed to a couple. The girl was blonde and had her tongue stuck down the African-American man's throat. "They've been contemplating marriage for a while. But B's not ready for it and I don't think Gunn is either."
"Someone named their child Gunn?" Joan was getting really confused. This was a side of her roommate that she'd never seen before.
"Charles Gunn," Cassie clarified with a grin. "Of course, it would help if they'd actually tell B's parents and Gunn's friends that they're dating."
"How long have these two been together?"
"Years."
"And this actually has something to do with the box?" Joan questioned with a smirk.
"It was because of my cousins' dating background that I avoided most of my heartache." Her smile turned wistful as she ran her fingers along the engraved initials. "Every thing in this box has a history, a story."
"Doesn't everything?" Joan asked quietly. The flaky girl had grown up to be a woman of depth and substance.
"I'll start with the family pictures that I know are in here and go from there, alright?"
Joan smiled, wondering what was going to happen that God had wanted her to find this box. This was her latest mission, to find Cassie's box and get her to talk about it.
But the man who sleeps beside me
Doesn't know it's even there
Little pieces of my past
That I shouldn't have to share
She pulled a key from her purse and unlocked the box. "He doesn't know it's here, you know."
"My brother tends to be oblivious."
"Both of them do," Cassie laughed.
The two women were sprawled on her bed giggling like teenagers instead of fully grown women who were in college and enjoying it. Joan was a year older than she was and so was Grace. They officially shared the apartment, but that didn't mean that others didn't have keys.
With the box open, she pulled out three family portraits. The first was a serious picture of everyone, each barely smiling and several looking extremely pissed off.
"You do know that everyone in there looks slightly blue?" Joan asked.
"It was almost zero degrees Fahrenheit outside and none of us were allowed to wear winter clothing." A grin played across her lips as she started to point out various people.
"That one is my Uncle Giles. His full name is Rupert Giles, but everyone just calls him Giles. He's my mom's older brother even though they were raised apart."
"Why were they raised apart?"
"Because their mother died when Mom was really young so she was sent to live with relatives in Louisiana. They met up again at their father's funeral a few years ago. That was when his adopted children came into my life and I got cousins for the first time."
"Are they in here?"
She pointed to a redhead and then another one. "That one's Willow and that's her ex, Oz. They're both a part of our family though."
"Okay. How'd that happen?"
"Oz was just a member of the family for so long that no one could figure out how to separate him from us when they split." She smiled and pointed to a blonde. "That one's Buffy. Like I said, she's the one who gave me this box."
"What's she like?"
"Fiery, driven, and fiercely protective," Cassie answered. "She would defend our family to her dying day."
"Ouch."
"Yeah, that's the way it seems sometimes." This time she pointed out a brunette male standing next to an older male. "That's my cousin Xander and our Uncle Jack. I'm related to Uncle Jack because Mom's his half sister on his father's side, and Buffy's related to him because he's her mom's half brother on their mother's side."
"Confusing. What're they like?"
"Xander's a goof ball. So is Uncle Jack but he channels the annoyingness better." She ran through the other adults in a rapid manner after that. "That one's Aunt Joyce, Buffy's mom. She recently got married to Uncle Giles. They're both related to Uncle Jack but it's not incest surprisingly. And that one's my mom, Janet Frasier. She adopted me when I was eleven."
"Wait," Joan blinked. "You've never mentioned being adopted before."
"It's a long and complicated story that happens to be classified." She smiled slightly at the look on her friend's face. "Suffice to say, my biological parents are dead and I ended up in Mom's care."
"Right." Joan drew out the word so that it had about seven syllables.
"Moving on," Cassie continued, "that's Murray and Sam. They both work with Uncle Jack and Mom. Plus, Sam's just as much my mother as Mom. The other one, Daniel, also works with them. He's also Uncle Jack's partner in all things. But we aren't allowed to talk about that."
"Huh?"
"It officially breaks regulations." At Joan's blank look, she sighed. "They're in the military."
"Oh."
"That's my family my sophomore year of high school," Cassie continued blithely. "This is a picture of all of us goofing off for the camera about fifteen minutes before the serious portrait. And this is a picture of all of us three years ago just after my high school graduation."
"More faces," Joan stammered.
"That's my cousin, Jon." She pointed to Jack's clone. "He's Uncle Jack's son and was Xander's college roommate. He's super smart so he was skipped several grades. That's Buffy's roommate, Tara, and Anya roomed with Willow."
"That's it?"
"Pretty much," Cassie shrugged. "Now that you know most of the cast, do you want to move on?"
"Of course." She attempted to smile, but all she could think was that she was so surprised that Cassie wasn't crazy. Who wouldn't be crazy with that complicated of a family tree?
A napkin that is stained with time
Has a poem on it that didn't quite rhyme, but it made me cry
"This napkin has a poem on it from a guy named Jesse," Cassie began, trying to find the words she needed to explain the situation.
"Ex-boyfriend?" the other female asked. She tried to read the words on the napkin, but they were smudged with both time and tears.
"He was Willow and Xander's best friend growing up." She shook her head. "I never met him; B only met him once or twice."
"What happened to him?"
"He was murdered at the beginning of his sophomore year of high school."
"Oh." Joan's voice was flat with shock. "What does the poem say?"
"'Today
I died a thousand deaths
Yesterday
I lived a thousand lives
Tomorrow
A thousand souls will be judged
One for every time I lived a lie.'" Cassie's voice broke on the last word before she continued. "Jesse wrote this poem and the one on the other side just before the first day of 10th grade. Willow found the napkin in his stuff the day after he died."
"It's sad."
"It foreshadows the events surrounding his death so well." She sighed. "His death changed my cousins. It was the first time that they knew what lurked in wait."
"Then why do you have it?"
"Because I am keeper of the past, keeper of the secrets," Cassie intoned mysteriously. "Besides which, both poems make me cry. Willow couldn't stand to have it anymore by the time I came along. So I said that I'd keep it. I used to press it between the pages of a notebook."
"Why couldn't she stand it?"
"Jesse was like a brother to her and she had to listen to his screams as his murderer dragged him off. If someone took Luke or Kevin like that, would you want to hold on to the two things you know for certain they wrote within a week of their death?"
"What's the poem on the other side?"
"He didn't have the greatest grip on grammar and spelling," she sighed before laughing. "But here it is, just as he wrote it."
"'You scream into the night
I want to run and hide
But that would disappoint you
Isn't that why we're having this fight
I didn't meet your expectations
I couldn't live up to your life
You wanted me to be perfect
But I wasn't, you could see it in my eyes
That is why I sit here my mind made up
I have decided to end my life
As I make this slit across my wrist
I think about our last fight
As my body gets lost in a crimson sea
Waiting for you to find.'"
"That sounds like…" Joan trailed off.
"He was already planning on killing himself," Cassie finished. "According to Xander, it's not outside the realm of possibilities. Willow didn't believe it, but then she didn't want to believe it."
"Ouch."
"That about sums it up."
"Is there anything else in the box?"
"This is a letter my first real boyfriend gave me."
In a 'Dear Jane' letter from a different guy
He broke up with me and he told me I'm not always right
She held up a creased and smudged piece of notebook paper, wondering when it had stopped having a hold on her. "His name was Dominic."
"Dominic?" Joan pressed gently. "What was he like?"
"He was my second 'boyfriend' all together counting a childhood 'boyfriend.' He gave me some of the nicest kisses, taught me how to give blowjobs—" She broke off at the slight choking sound.
"He taught you how to what?"
"Give blowjobs," she repeated. "Later, we broke up for several months and a friend of his, the one who'd been my childhood 'boyfriend,' took my virginity. But that's another story all together and we got back together after that."
"When did you break up for good?"
"Just after our high school graduation," she smirked.
"So you broke up because you were going your separate ways?"
Cassie snorted at the thought. "According to this letter, he didn't want to deal with my superiority complex. He said that I had kept secrets from him for too long and that he wanted to know the truth."
"Did you tell him the truth?"
"He didn't leave a forwarding address." She continued to smirk. "Gee, I wonder why."
Joan looked slightly confused. "I wonder why!"
"The real reason he wouldn't stick around was because my family scared him."
"Scared him? How?" Joan was the only girl in her family; she'd heard her brothers' threats and been slightly scared herself. So she wondered what Cassie's family had threatened.
"I believe fire was in there somewhere. I know it was on someone's hair."
"Excuse me?" Joan looked at Cassie like she might have needed medication.
"Buffy set her hair on fire," Cassie explained with a grin.
"How?"
"She was playing with the flaming wooden spoon."
"Huh?"
"She was going to burn Dominic's penis off and scratched her hair with the hand that the spoon was in before she could do that."
"So you don't have a eunuch for an ex-boyfriend?" Joan hesitantly asked.
"No, the fire was wasted on Buffy's hair," was Cassie's candid response.
"Your cousin is a blonde, isn't she?"
"That's what the picture shows." Then she looked right and left. "Just don't let Grace hear you talking like that."
"I know," Joan shuddered.
She reached into the box at random and pulled out a key. "What's this?"
And a stolen key from an old hotel room door
In the back of the bottom drawer
"That?" Cassie's eyes glittered with mirth. "I stole it."
"You stole it?" Joan repeated, feeling like a parrot.
Cassie smiled sadly and wistfully, remembering a time after Dominic and before meeting Joan. "My first roommate and I were on Christmas vacation our freshman year of college."
"Name please."
"Kit," Cassie sighed. "Her name was Kit and we roomed together for only a year. We never requested to share a room last year."
"That's how you met Grace and me."
"The room shortage," Cassie agreed. The year before, there had been so many new students in need of housing that three people to a room had become the practice.
"About the key?" she questioned.
"We shared a room with a guy named Carlos and his roommate Aidan Ford. Carlos was an old friend of Kit's and the skiing trip in Utah was tradition for them."
"And what happened?"
"There were two beds," Cassie blushed. "Kit and I were fine sharing a bed, but Aidan and Carlos weren't."
"Then what?"
"Carlos and Kit had shared a bed before; they were practically like siblings." Her smile disappeared for a second before returning. "So that left Aidan and me. For the first couple of nights, I slept on the bed and he on the floor or vice versa."
"You ended up sleeping with him?" Joan was aware of the pull that men whose names started with 'A' wielded.
"Nope. He was several years older which made it kinda weird." Then she reconsidered. "Well, we ended up sharing the bed eventually but that was the end of it. We went out to a couple of all-ages clubs one night and we both got hit on. He went back to the hotel while I stayed out dancing."
"And then?"
"He was just another guy," Cassie shrugged. Then she smirked just slightly. "His name was Adam."
Joan's mouth dropped. "Adam what?"
"I don't know if it was your Adam or not," she sighed. Everyone who shared the apartment knew of Joan's ex-boyfriend. "He let slip that he was older that I was but that was obvious anyway."
"So the key is from the room that you, Kit, Carlos, and Aidan shared."
"No, the key is from the room that Adam was staying in at another hotel."
"Was it good?"
"Very." Cassie licked her lips. "It was very good."
"Better than," Joan gestured with her hands, "ya know?"
"Nothing's better than making love," Cassie giggled and took both of them by surprise. She was not typically a giggler.
Joan shuddered. "So why do you keep these things?"
I don't keep these things 'cause I'm longing to go back
I keep them because I want to stay right where I'm at
I'm reminded of my rights and wrongs
I don't want to mess this up
But I wouldn't know where I belong
Without this box of stuff
Before Cassie could answer, there was a knock on the door. "Girardi, Frasier, open the damn door."
"It's unlocked, mental giant," Cassie shot back.
Grace poked her head around the door. "Normally you lock the door when you do girly stuff."
"We can bring out the pink and make it girly," Joan started mischievously.
"You'll look like so totally fabulous in hot pink nail polish and hair glitter!" Cassie started to dance around her blonde roommate in a crazy imitation of the snoopy dance.
"No. N-O, I'd have voted for George W. Bush's election before I'll let you put anything pink anywhere near me!"
Both of Grace's friends started to laugh. Joan was the first to regain her ability to speak. "Relax, sit down and listen to the story of the box."
"The box? What is that, some weird cardboard thing that's traveled the world or something?"
"It's like my diary," Cassie said quietly. "Joan just asked why I keep the pieces of my past."
"And what pieces are you keeping?" Grace looked slightly confused.
"A napkin with two poems written on it by a dead friend of her cousins, a break up letter by her first real boyfriend, and several family photos," Joan sighed.
"You forgot the key from my first one-night stand's hotel room." Cassie smiled at the look of pure shock on Grace's face.
"You had a one-night stand?!" Grace almost shrieked it and then flushed. "I didn't just shriek."
"Yes, you did," both her roommates chimed in unison.
"No, I didn't," she mumbled.
Cassie sighed. "Do you want to hear what else is in the box or not?"
"Oh, yeah," Joan said emphatically. Grace just nodded and lounged back on Cassie's bed.
Cassie rooted through the box again before she found what she was looking for.
"Why do you have a birthday card in your hand?" Grace asked.
A birthday card from my first boyfriend
He signed it 'I love you' so I gave in
Yeah, we went too far in his daddy's car
"This card is from my very first boyfriend," Cassie grinned. The card was nearly as yellowed as Jesse's napkin but the writing was actually legible. "We dated for the first time when I was ten. Just immature stuff like holding hands, and eventually we stopped 'dating' but that's not something you forget."
"What was his name?" Grace asked with a roll of her eyes.
"Pike," she said with a fond smile. "Michael was his real name; we called him Mikey back when we 'dated.' But he chose to live with his mother in L.A. soon after we 'broke up' and he didn't come back until he was sixteen. He'd been gone for over six years."
"Where'd the name 'Pike' come from?" Joan asked with interest.
"I have no idea. He was a regular bad boy though by the time he came back about four months before my sixteenth birthday."
"Weren't you dating Dominic then?" Joan asked.
Cassie smirked. "Pike was one of Dom's friends. They were total opposites in every way, but they'd found a common ground somewhere along the line."
"Yeah," Grace snarked, "your pelvic region."
"Nah, that happened after Dom and I took a three and a half month break from each other." Cassie turned the card over again.
"Well what happened, Frasier?"
"He came back from L.A. with this look in his eyes that just screamed, 'I've seen too much tragedy.'"
"What does that have to do with anything?" Grace rolled her eyes at the vague answer.
"I think," Cassie stated pensively, "that that is why we went on those first few 'friend dates' while Dom and I were cooling things off. But one thing led to another, like it so often does."
"So what, he gave you a birthday card after you slept together?" Joan ventured a guess.
"Sadly, the birthday card is why we ended up in the bed of his daddy's truck." She just laughed at her naivety. "He signed it 'I love you' and I suppose we both got caught up in the moment."
"You did use protection, right?" Both her roommates asked it in unison and sighed in relief when she nodded.
"We were young, not stupid."
"So where is he now?" Joan asked.
Cassie stared at the address on the envelope before replying. "He's in L.A., I guess."
"You slept together and you can only guess where he is today?" Grace looked stunned.
"I've had intercourse with four people." She rolled off the bed so that she could pace. "One hasn't spoken to me in three years because he's scared of my family. Another was a one night stand. Pike is the third; we just lost touch with each other. And we were friends who had sex and then put it behind us. What was the real point of dwelling on it?"
"You couldn't stay in touch with him?" Joan repeated, still as shocked as Grace.
"The past is the past, Joan." Her eyes were uncannily free of emotion. "Pike was a part of my past. He took my virginity, but he didn't take my innocence."
Both of her friends just stared at her.
"I was who I was. I was a rebellious teenager who wasn't certain where she belonged. He gave me a sense of belonging to someone, but we only had sex that one time. Sex complicated our relationship unnecessarily." Her eyes twinkled slightly as she said, "We were close friends by the time he and Dom graduated the year before I did."
"Did Dom know?" Joan finally managed.
She nodded once. "He used to wonder if we would ever have gotten back together if it hadn't been for me losing the last symbolic tie to childhood. I don't think we would have."
Cassie reached into the box and pulled out a string of Mardi Gras beads. With casual deliberateness, she spun them on her right index finger. "Besides, Pike knew my cousin long before we reconnected."
She left her friends gaping as she started her last story.
And those Mardi Gras beads from '98
We danced all night, stayed out so late
We thought we were stars, closing down the bars
That champagne was cheap but still I've got that cork
In the back of the bottom drawer
"Anyway," her smile was slightly tense, "you surely remember these."
Grace nodded. "Yeah, those were some good times."
"Remember how they said that we had 'old' beads, beads that had been in circulation since '98?" Joan laughed as Cassie resumed her sprawled position across from her friends.
"That was two weeks before you met him," Grace noted almost silently.
"When we got back," Cassie agreed, "we all moved into this apartment and it took everyone willing to help us move."
"But in New Orleans last year, we partied like no tomorrow." Joan chuckled as she remembered.
"Or at least, as much as we could sans alcohol." Grace picked up one of the strings of Mardi Gras beads.
"They look like any other necklaces, don't they?" Cassie's question seemed slightly odd, but both were used to it.
"Yeah," her roommates agreed.
"I suppose that it's like that with people too. Grace looks like any other political-science major when she actually has a life outside of protesting the government. She has a boyfriend that literally lives here, a best friend—"
"Two best friends," Grace broke in quietly. "But if either of you ever repeat that, so help me…"
"We know," Cassie said just as softly. "As I was saying, two best friends and I know for a fact that you love your job as a newspaper columnist. In fact, that's what you plan on being after you graduate."
"And you get this incredible burst of philosophy from a string of beads and a cork that's leftover from our first Spring Break as roomies?" Grace looked incredulous.
"No, I've gotten that from being your friend." She continued to let the strand spin on her index finger.
"Can I tell you what I remember most from that trip?" Joan was starting to realize that if nothing else, this was going to cement their friendship.
The other two women looked at her. "Why not?" Cassie shrugged.
"Even though you weren't old enough to drink, and Grace and I were choosing not to, we had fun. We stayed out at the dance clubs into all hours of the night, and—as far as I know—none of us ended up in a stranger's bed." Joan looked into the past, recalling the hellish weeks following the trip.
"We got back," she whispered, "and we got caught up with moving. You had Luke, Grace. You were just meeting him, Cass, and I had no one. But even when I was wondering if I'd ever have a relationship that didn't end in me feeling like shit, I knew I had the two of you. I knew it because of Mardi Gras."
In shock, her friends looked at each other. Grace was the one who finally spoke up. "Girardi, why didn't you tell us?"
"I didn't want empty reassurances that I will eventually find a man like you guys have," Joan admitted.
"Maybe you will," Cassie laughed, "and maybe you won't. Everyone has different needs in a man or woman. Your brother meets those needs in me, but even if he wasn't related to you, he wouldn't be your match."
Grace stared at Joan for several seconds before touching the champagne cork. "This, Girardi, is from the only alcohol we touched that trip. We toasted freedom, equality, and love that last night in the hotel room."
"We have freedom and equality," Cassie told her, "which is more than many people have. Grace and I have found love. One day, you will too."
"What if I already did?"
"The real question is, do you still love Adam?" Cassie forced Joan to look into her eyes.
She pondered it for a few minutes. "He hurt me once too often. I loved him once, and he'll always be my first love. But he won't be my last."
"Thatagirl," Grace grinned. "Rove didn't know what he was missing."
I'm not trying to hide these things from the man I love today
But I'm a better woman for him, thanks to my yesterdays
Before they could continue, there was a knock on the bedroom door. "Can I come in?" The question made everyone jump in surprise.
"Looks like lover-boy's back, Frasier," Grace commented quietly.
"Come in, Kev." Cassie opened the door before he could.
Joan and Grace put the beads and the champagne cork back in the box and locked it while Kevin and Cassie exchanged a kiss.
"That's so sweet I may need a dentist," Grace grumbled.
"Now you know how the rest of us have felt watching you and Luke." Joan watched her old friend's mouth drop open in surprise.
"We are not that bad."
"No, you're right." Joan watched as the blonde smirked triumphantly. "You're worse."
"Hey!"
Neither noticed that the 'lovebirds' had broken apart and were watching in amusement.
"So what's the box that Joan's holding?" Kevin whispered, not wanting to break up the entertainment.
"My past. Joan found it when she was rooting through the top drawer of the dresser."
"Ah." Kevin looked at her for a moment and decided to press. "Would you tell me about what's inside?"
"Tonight, I promise." Kevin's job had transferred him to Annapolis several months before. Nominally, he shared an apartment with Luke. However, most knew that Luke was to be found in Grace's bed most nights, and Cassie slept in Kevin's bed. That was, everyone but their parental figures knew.
Joan just fled the girls' apartment most of the time; the librarians at the University of Maryland knew her by name.
"Please cut it out, you two." Joan forcibly separated the two of them. "No groping in front of your sister, Kev."
"How come Luke doesn't get that rule with Grace?" He looked confused.
"He does," she growled.
So now I try to give more than I take
And I bite my tongue; fight the urge to say it's my way
Or no way at all
And now I cherish love a whole lot more
'Cause of what's
In the back of the bottom drawer
They were all gathered in the living room the next day, watching reruns of Will and Grace when the phone rang.
"You have reached the second circle of Hell, how may I direct your call?" Grace asked the person the other end. "Just a second…" she covered the mouthpiece. "Frasier, phone's for you."
"Thanks Grace. You have most likely scared away a member of my study group."
"Don't feel bad, Cass," Kevin told her with a sigh. "That's better than how she answered the phone when my boss called the other day."
"Do tell," Joan snickered.
"Barney's S&M Shop. If you're a sub, press one. If you're a dom, press two. If you have no particular preference, press three," Grace parroted as she handed the phone off to Cassie.
Everyone but Kevin cracked up. Cassie answered the phone in between fits of laughter. "Cassandra speaking, I apologize for my roommate."
"Don't worry, cuz," Buffy's voice came over the line. "I don't mind."
"Hey, B. Long time since you called last. What's new?"
"We're getting married on the next Summer Solstice."
Cassie sucked in a breath. "So soon? That's right after you graduate from law school. Shouldn't you wait longer?"
"It's ten months from now, Cass." Buffy's voice almost came across as calm. "Besides, Mom will want to take over the planning. You know that."
"I thought you always planned to elope in Cancun?"
"Plans have a way of getting messed up around my mother." Then her voice became a great deal more cheerful. "You're my maid of honor."
"Why isn't Willow?"
"She said she'd probably screw up the speech thingy that maids of honor have to give. She also said she'd puke all over me if I made her be the maid of honor."
"Lovely." Cassie groaned. "I somehow know that I can't refuse."
Her cousin laughed. "You refuse, I stake you."
"That'll mean you killing a human. You're against that, remember?"
"I won't stake you in the heart. But I will stake you so that it'll be very painful."
"Can I bring my boyfriend?" Cassie watched Kevin's eyebrows shoot up, and heard Joan let out a gusty sigh.
"Of course. This doesn't mean that we won't hurt him though."
"Don't hurt him. In fact, don't jump to any conclusions until you meet him." Cassie could just picture how badly her family meeting Kevin could end.
"You aren't dating some cross-dressing girl, are you?" The worry in Buffy's voice made her cousin laugh.
"No, I'm not. Uncle Jack made you ask, didn't he?"
"Yeah." Cassie could practically hear the blonde shrug. "The adults have been worried since you haven't provided a name, much less details."
"You realize that we're all adults now, right?"
"I mean the adult adults."
"And the sad part is that that actually makes sense." Cassie smiled slightly. "So who are the bridesmaids?"
"Willow, Tara, and Anya," Buffy said.
"Wait, Willow can deal with being a bridesmaid, but not the maid of honor?"
"She's my best friend, but I do not try and figure her out."
"Fair enough," was Cassie's reply. "I'll talk to you later then?"
"Count on it."
After she'd hung up, Cassie buried her face in her hands. "I'm thinking unkind thoughts about Willow, and I don't care."
"Why?" Joan asked. "What did your redheaded cousin do?"
"She backed out of being Buffy's maid of honor, so I'm fulfilling that role." She glared. "Notice that I'm not happy."
"We're noticing." Luke raised an eyebrow. "Does this mean that you and Kevin won't be occupying the apartment tonight?"
"You're still being forced to use Grace's bedroom." Cassie and Kevin spoke at the same time.
"Dang it," the youngest Girardi sighed.
"So when's the wedding?" Grace asked. "That way, we know when to plan Kevin's funeral."
"Summer Solstice," Cassie told them. "But don't worry; they'd only kill someone I didn't love."
With that, she walked into the room she and the others had been giggling in only the day before.
And Joan Girardi snuck out the door, knowing that God would happen along. She didn't know what form He'd use, but He'd be there. Or She would.
She'd completed her mission. Admittedly, she hadn't thought that it would set the stage for Cassie being the maid of honor at a wedding. However, she figured out that Life rarely made sense.
That seemed to go double for anything that God decided to have her interfere in.
Author notes: Please review? I'm begging you to. I like reviews, and I don't write as well when I don't have them. glances at the drivel she's just written See? It could be much better but no one would review. It can't be that bad.
And okay, it was fluffy and not so much humor. Okay, so the next part won't have much humor either; it's angst. But Buffy's wedding will be funny. And so will the honeymoon. Promise. There's other planned fics after that, but I really don't remember what they are.
But review, or you won't get to read them!