A/N: Almost to 50 reviews! Wow! That means I'll put the surprise guest in the next chapter. I hope you're not disappointed, lol. Thanks you guys for being so faithful to review. I'd still like to know where Bill the Pony was up on that ledge in the movie...Anywho, on with the story!
DISCLAIMER: LotR/Shrek not mine...Title of chapter not mine, it's a Motown song, you go look up the copyright info, I've got a story to write!
. ONE SHREK TO BRING THEM ALLChapter Eleven: Ain't No Mountain High Enough
The ring-bearer and the others were having a difficult time making the trek through the Pass of Caradhras. The snow seemed to be getting deeper, and the wind was biting harder at their nearly frozen faces every minute.
Legolas led the way, hopping easily over the huge snowdrifts, as if they were no more than small anthills. Shrek followed closely behind, plowing through the snow with his big hands to make a path. Gandalf trudged behind him, holding onto Frodo, his staff carried under his arm. Boromir carried Pippin, and Aragorn held onto Merry. Sam led Bill the Pony, and to Gimli, son of Gloin, fell the task of dragging Donkey through the snow.
The animal had not stopped complaining since they had started their journey uphill in the ice, and Gimli thanked his lucky stars that the wind was now blowing hard enough to drown out Donkey's incessant babbling about avalanches and hypothermia.
In fact, Gimli thought with wonder, it almost sounds like the wind has a voice all its own. Hmmph, must be some trick of the height of the mountain.
But Legolas also heard the voice, and stiffened suddenly. He listened intently, then turned to Shrek and Gandalf. "There is a foul voice upon the air!"
Gandalf paled, not that anyone noticed in all the swirling white snow. "It's Saruman!"
Back at Orthanc, Saruman was beating on the palantir with his staff. "Stupid" smack! "piece" smack! "of" smack! "junk" smack! "I could have sold you in the yard sale and made a lousy 50 cents!"
Suddenly Sauron's flaming eye appeared in the palantir. "SARUMAN!" he growled in a deep, evil voice. "WHAT ON MIDDLE EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" he asked in the black speech of Mordor (which I will not utter here).
The White Wizard fell back, shaking. "I...ah...that is, Sauron...I thought it was broken, see? I was just trying to...er...knock some sense back into it?"
Sauron's eye of flame narrowed to a slit. "See that you are more careful next time...wizard. Where are they now? I must know!"
"Patience, I will find them. I need the palantir, though...I don't know how to work the 3-way calling, so you'll have to get off of it and let me look in," replied Saruman.
Sauron rolled his eye in disgust, then faded out. Saruman rolled up his sleeves and waved his hands over the palantir, chanting. Slowly an image began to appear in it. "Aha!" He shouted, triumphantly. "So, you lead them over Caradhras, Gandalf. Apparently, you fear what has been unleashed in Moria. A creature of shadow...and flame! My old fool...we shall see."
Grima had been looking over his shoulder into the palantir, and now he scratched his head. "What's with those two?" He pointed to Sam and Frodo, who were now huddling together for warmth.
Saruman looked. "The Hobbits? I don't know. They seem rather...fond of each other, do they not?" He shrugged and moved on to the top of the tower to put his evil mind to work at making their trek up the mountain an unpleasant one. At his behest, the sky became overcast and dark, and as he waved and chanted, the storm clouds made their way to the top of Caradhras.
Back on top of the mountain, however, things began to look bleak. The clouds overhead got thicker, and soon the swirling snow cut off all long-range vision, even for Legolas. Suddenly, there came a wicked clap of thunder, immediately followed by a bright flash, as lightning struck the rocks just above their heads.
"Look out!" cried Gandalf, and they all managed to duck back from the edge of the cliff, as the rocks and snow rained down upon them.
Gandalf dug himself out quickly, and stood at the very edge of the pathway, trying to counter the magic of the corrupt White Wizard. Another thunderclap boomed overhead, before another bright flash of lightning, and this time a bigger avalanche of rocks and snow pelted the climbers. Legolas only barely managed to yank Gandalf to safety before the falling frozen debris obscured the pathway.
The Fellowship shivered as they freed themselves of the captivity of the snowdrifts. Aragorn spoke up, "Gandalf! We must turn back!"
Gandalf turned on him angrily. "No! You're not the King yet, and I'm still the boss! I say we keep moving!"
Aragorn looked taken aback, and shrugged and fell silent.
Donkey piped up, "I knew there'd be an avalanche. No one listens to me, oh no! Why trust a Donkey. They're only stupid animals, no way would they ever be right. You know, I can..."
They never found out what Donkeys can do, for Gimli gave Donkey a sharp rap on the back of the head with the blunt of his ax. The animal's eyes rolled back in his head as he plopped over in the snow.
"Thank you!" came a collective chorus from the Fellowship. Gimli nodded and put his weapon away.
"As I was saying," continued Gandalf, "It is not safe to go into the mines."
Boromir spoke up, "But this will be the death of the Hobbits."
Gandalf looked at the chattering teeth and red cheeks of his Halfling friends, then back at Legolas, who nodded. The Wizard sighed, "Fine, fine. All of you are determined to displace me anyway, so let the Ring-Bearer decide." He sat down in a snowbank to sulk.
Shrek didn't deliberate for long, since his toes were numb. "We will go through the mines!" he called over the wind.
A/N: STAY TUNED!!