Chapter 4: Deep Division

The boat's engine chugged steadily as Wesley steered through the dark waves. His eyes scanned the water as far as he could see. Not that he thought he'd be able to detect what he was looking for from the surface, but it kept him focused on his task.

"How much longer are you going to keep me prisoner?" Justine said. "What's it been, two, two and a half months?"

"Three. And until I find Angel." He said without taking his eyes off the water. The sound of the radar remained steady.

"Oh, sorry. You didn't give me a calendar in my closet after all. And the time just flies by listening to you bang your Wolfram and Hart buddy." She sneered. "So what if you never find him?"

"Then I'll get you another bucket." He said.

Justine mumbled a curse under her breath and fell silent.

Wesley concentrated on the vast nothing-ness and tried to block out the thoughts that seemed to want to drown him.

Fred and Gunn.

Connor was with them, he knew that. But despite the fact that Connor had homicidal tendencies, Wesley was sure that they were only directed at his father. And in fact, should they confront him on Wesley's word, it might do more harm than good.

It was best to allow Connor to believe he had gotten away with his plan- at least until Wesley could find Angel.

If he could find Angel.

The radar blipped.

Wesley glanced at it. Experience told him that it wasn't strong enough to be the type of container Angel was in.

He didn't care.

"Time to get wet Justine." He said, cutting the engine.

Justine scowled at the radar. "That's not him."

Wesley shrugged. "No harm in looking." He told her with a small smile.

"The water's cold."

"I meant, no harm to me. Besides, you have a wet suit. That's more than Angel has."

She looked like she was going to say something, but the smile had faded from his face and she didn't risk it.

It was then that he realized that she knew who he was now more than anyone.

One more reason to hate her.

"Remember," he said as she prepared to go over the side. "If it is him and you don't tell me, we will just do this until you've tired of my company. Angel's not going anywhere after all."

Justine glared at him. "No, he's just getting hungrier and hungrier. Did you think about that? What's it going to be like when you open up the lid on him?" Justine shook her head slowly. "He's going to attack the first person he sees."

"All the more reason to send you down, first." Wesley said. "Now, get on with it Justine. It's late. Keep me out here too long and I'll be too tired to clean your bucket."

There was a splash as she hit the water, then silence.

Relative silence anyway. Los Angeles was all around and it was never silent. Even this far out he could here the traffic over the sound of the water.

He thought about Fred.

Her face, her soft smile came into his mind.

He forced it away.

His mind was dark and cold. Not a place for Fred right now.

Will it ever be? He wondered.

Will it ever again be a place for thoughts that don't center on anger and pain?

"I don't know." He said softly.

He thought about Angel.

He wasn't really worried that Justine wouldn't tell him when they found the container. She seemed to have lost the fight she once had since Holtz' death. Besides, Wesley was pretty sure she was tired of his company. It would probably be a relief to her, to find Angel.

What must it be like where he was?

Dark and cold.

Wesley shivered.

He didn't know for certain what Angel's condition would be, but he had a pretty good idea.

Starving, perhaps driven mad with hunger, he might very well attack the first person he saw, as Justine predicted.

In his mind he saw Angel's face, twisted with rage.

The anger in his voice had been hard, cutting through the smothering softness of the pillow.

I'll kill you!

But he hadn't.

Wesley had pondered that fact over and over again, and could not come to any explanation as to why Angel hadn't killed him.

Sometimes he thought it may have been their friendship or that even in his rage Angel knew Wesley had been trying to save Connor.

And sometimes, like tonight, he thought maybe Angel had taken the route that the gypsy's used on him and given him a lifetime to regret his sin instead of a quick death.

Maybe he should indeed be the first one to open the box.

"It was a shopping cart." Justine said coming over the side of the boat. "But you knew that."

"I… suspected." He said. "Now I know. Time to go home. Better luck tomorrow."

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Gunn hung up the phone and frowned at Fred.

"What?" she asked. "Nothing again?"

"No, not nothing." He sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Then what? Charles, stop keeping me in suspense."

Gunn stood up and walked around to the front of the desk. "I'm not keeping you in suspense. I'm trying to decide if it's even worth looking at."

Connor stood in the shadows of the second floor listening to their conversation. Every time the phone rang lately he was filled with dread that it might be someone who knew something about Angel's whereabouts.

Paranoia. He thought.

No, that's when you have an un-justified fear. His mind voice corrected. This fear is very justified.

"Charles, every lead is potentially the one that's going to help us find Angel." Fred was saying.

Connor moved closer to the stairs.

"Yeh, ok." Gunn said. He reached out and touched Fred's face. "I just don't want you to be disappointed again.

"And what about you, Tough Guy?" she said with a half smile. "I know you want to find Angel and Cordy just as much as I do."

Gunn shrugged. "Course. Dude owes me money." He told her then smiled a little. "We're leaving Connor here though."

Connor frowned.

Gunn was really starting to get on his nerves a lot. He was always telling him where to go and when to be back. Connor did what he said, for the most part, but still it wasn't like he needed a-

Father?

The frown became a scowl.

"We can't do that." Fred said. "He has a right to help find out what happened. He's just as worried as we are."

"Fred, he's too wild for this. Look, the vamps we are going after are real tough, and Connor is not exactly a calming influence."

Connor crept down the stairs to the office door and waited.

Fred was already making a case for him going, which meant he was practically already there.

Fred sighed. "Maybe you're right. Do these guys claim they know what happened to Angel?"

What!

Connor froze. He could feel his heartbeat racing.

Had someone seen what he'd done?

"The information is that they know someone who says they saw 'something'. Only my informant doesn't know where the vamp that actually saw that something is. That's why we have to go find these other vamps- they know where she is."

Connor stepped into the office, careful to keep his face as blank as possible. "What's up?"

Gunn frowned. "Cuz you don't know? Are you telling me you couldn't hear us?"

"Charles…" Fred said. "Come on."

Gunn sighed and smiled a little. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm just…"

"Grouchy?" Connor asked allowing a small smile of his own to surface.

"Yes, he is." Fred said. "Connor, we're going out. We want you to stay here. In case… in case someone calls or something."

"Where are you going? Does it have something to do with my dad?" the eagerness in his voice had an immediate effect on Fred. She bit her bottom lip and glanced sideways at Gunn.

"Well… yes, maybe." She said.

"Let me go, please!" he said looking from Fred to Gunn then back to Fred. She met his gaze and he gave her a lopsided smile.

She'd told him once that smile reminded her of Angel's.

It worked like a charm.

"Charles… we have to take him." She said putting her arm around Connor's shoulders. "Besides, if we get in trouble, we might need him."

Gunn rolled his eyes. "He'll get us in trouble." He grumbled but he knew he'd already lost the battle.

"Promise me," he said, nailing Connor with his most serious look, "Promise me that you will not run off and that you will listen to me."

"I promise." Connor said. "Scouts honor."

"Boy, you were never a Scout." Gunn said as he walked out of the office.

"Scout's honor?" Fred said following Connor out.

"I heard it somewhere. I thought it was a good thing." He said as they moved to the weapon's cabinet.

Fred laughed and ruffled his already tousled hair.

Connor felt another sting of guilt. He'd had many of them since he'd sunk Angel into the ocean and deceived his friends. This one was because he had every intention of running off once they reached their destination tonight. If the vamps they were meeting did know something, he had to find out what it was before Gunn and Fred did.

But the guilt was ok. He could handle it.
He'd learned lots of new phrases from the books Angel had left for him in his room and one in particular always came to mind in situations like this:

The ends justify the means.

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Author's Note: I had intended "A Deeper Darkness" to be a one shot with the first chapter being the only one, so thank you to those of you, in particular Nerene, who read and wanted more. I feel like I've filled in the "gap" between the episodes of "Tomorrow" and "Deep Down" to the best of my ability so this is the last chapter of "A Deeper Darkness".

For anyone interested in more fics based on this particular situation, I have written "Unspoken Words", a Wesley-centric fic that takes place before "Tomorrow" and "From The Depths", an Angel-centric fic that takes place before "Deep Down" and is from Angel's POV.