A/N: Thanks for the suggestions! I'm always open to advice, and I'm glad there are peeps out there who eagerly wait for the updates to this story with antici……pation. (free brownies to whoever knows that reference ) I'm trying to update it as fast as I can…I'm also tossing around ideas for the other stories I have going. PLUS there are more that I haven't even posted yet. LOL. For those of you wondering about Puss N. Boots, he's going to be in here, just not yet. Regarding Robin Hood and his Merry Men, they will either be in the next chappie or the one following. Very soon now. Thanks SO much for reviewing! I'm trying to get around and review everyone's stories too; there are a LOT of fantastic writers around here. (Wish I was one of 'em lol) Enough rambling…on to the story!)
ONE SHREK TO BRING THEM ALL
Chapter 14: Another Fine MessThe Fellowship followed Gandalf down the long, dark and musty corridor he had chosen. Shrek sometimes felt they were going in circles, but he didn't dare bring this up to Gandalf. He didn't want to tick off the already short-tempered Wizard any further.
Presently, they felt a change in the air; it became much chillier, and less musty. Gandalf touched the crystal at the end of his staff and the group saw that they had come out of the passage into an enormous room. There were columns upon columns, for as far as the eye could see, all carved with Dwarven skill from the stone of the Mountain they were inside.
Donkey craned his neck until it hurt, and all he could see were more columns. He tried to turn back and look straight ahead, but found his neck was stuck. "Um, Shrek? A little help, please?"
The Ogre looked at him and rolled his eyes, then grabbed Donkey's head and pushed it hard back into place. CRUNCH!
Boromir, who had watched the scene with curiosity, looked a little sick.
Donkey shook his head and smiled. "Thanks!"
Gandalf looked at them fiercely. "Quiet!" He then turned to the others. "This is the Dwarven city of Dwarrowdelf." Everyone else properly murmured their appreciation for the wonder and craftsmanship of the Dwarves. Even Legolas thought to himself (but not aloud, for Gimli would have NEVER let him hear the end of it) that perhaps there was something to be said for the diminutive race after all.
Gimli, meanwhile, appeared to be searching for something. He approached column after column, cautiously, and every time, shook his axe in annoyance. Finally, he found a small door, and ran toward it, his pack bobbing up and down on his back.
"Gimli!" called Gandalf sharply, but the Dwarf was already inside the room. The Wizard threw up his hands in surrender. "Fine! Why don't we all just go in separate directions? I guess we all want to die!" He strode after Gimli, planning to lecture him soundly, and maybe box his ears a little, but stopped short when he saw what the smaller being was doing.
Gimli had found what appeared to be a coffin, carved of white stone, with runes chiseled into the top slab. The Dwarf was kneeling at the foot of the coffin, weeping loudly.
"Here lies Balin, son of Fundin. Lord of Moria," Gandalf translated for the rest of the group, who had followed, hoping to see a good fight, no doubt. "So, he is dead then."
This only made Gimli sob that much louder. Legolas looked at him with a mixture of sympathy and wonder. The Elf, being immortal, was not used to death, and did not know how to react to Gimli's sorrow. He placed a hand on the Dwarf's shoulder in condolence. The Dwarf stood and grabbed Legolas about the knees and began to cry even louder. The Elf rolled his eyes in annoyance and attempted to pry Gimli off of his legs, but to no avail. Legolas sighed and gave up, leaning against a stone column.
Meanwhile, Gandalf had spied a very old, very dusty book clutched by one of the Dwarf skeletons. The Wizard handed his hat and staff to Pippin, and turned back to the book. He pried it loose, blew the dust off the cover and opened it up. He read silently for a moment or two, then had the strangest feeling of being watched. Gandalf looked up to find the rest of the group staring at him expectantly. "What?"
Gimli spoke up, "Is not there some record of what happened to my kin?" He sniffled loudly into Legolas' trousers. Legolas groaned in disgust.
Gandalf sighed heavily, as though reading aloud was the greatest drain of his energy, and turned a couple of pages. "Ah, let's see if this is what we need." He read:
"I know not what to do about this strange obsession of mine. How can it be that I, Mazarbul, can have fallen in love with Balin? The great Lord of Moria? I cannot think of anything else but the way he-"
"ENOUGH!!!" Gimli was red with rage. "You know that's not what I meant! I meant for you to find out how they all DIED!"
The rest of the Company nodded and murmured their agreement, looks of shock and amusement (on the part of Legolas) on their faces.
Donkey, meanwhile, was sniffing under Pippin's cloak. "Hey!" Sniff, sniff. "I smell something to eat under there." Sniff, sniff. "I'm starving! Give me a bite!"
"No," whispered Pippin, still clutching Gandalf's belongings. "I'm saving it, and if you don't be quiet, Gandalf will have our heads!"
Unaware of this conversation, Gandalf flipped forward until he found the last page that had been written on. "We have barred the gates. We cannot hold them for long."
Gimli began to sob again, loudly, into Legolas' knees.
"Do you want to hear the rest of this or not?" Gandalf asked crankily.
Gimli nodded and fell silent.
Gandalf continued: "Cannot get out. They have taken the Bridge and Second Hall. Drums. Drums in the deep. They are coming." There, the writing seemed to veer off sharply, as though the one who wrote it had been fatally interrupted. Gandalf turned back to face the rest of the group. "We cannot linger-"
CRASH!!! KER-PLUNK!!! BANG!!! BAM!!! CRASH!!!
Gandalf and the others turned sharply in the direction of Pippin and Donkey. Donkey had his teeth sunken into Pippin's overcoat pocket. Pippin, in an effort to get away from the hungry animal, had begun to back up. Finally, he could go no further, and had his back to a well of some sort. There was a Dwarf skeleton, in full armor, perched on the edge of the well, and wrapped up in the chain from an old, rusty bucket. Donkey had Pippin backed up against the skeleton, and its head had fallen off, into the well. Its body soon followed, and after that, the rusty bucket.
As the horrified Fellowship looked on, the banging and clattering continued far down into the heart of the mines, ending with a final loud crash as the skeleton hit bottom. Pippin looked as though he might kill Donkey.
But that was nothing compared to the expression on Gandalf's face.
The Grey Wizard was literally hopping mad. He hopped up and down and yelled at Donkey and Pippin, and threatened to throw them both in the well himself. His face was as red as a beet as he lunged forward, and there were little veins popping out on his temples. He might have looked funny if the Company had not been afraid for their lives in a dark, deep mine.
Frodo whispered to Sam, "Are you sure you have no more of thataspirin?"
Aragorn came and put his hands on Gandalf's arms, to try and calm him down, but the Wizard merely pulled away and kept advancing on the two perpetrators. Shrek took a turn at it, and grabbed the Wizard around the waist, lifting him high over his head. Gandalf shrieked to be set free, to do justice to the Hobbit and Donkey, but just then Legolas clapped his hands over the Wizard's mouth.
"Hush! Listen!"
Gandalf hushed and they all listened. BOM BOM BOM BOM-BA-BOM!
"The drums!" shrieked Sam, and threw himself into Frodo's arms, knocking the slighter Hobbit to the ground. In the clatter, Frodo's sword, Sting, fell out of its hilt. It was glowing blue.
"Orcs!" stated Legolas, rather obviously.
Boromir had run to the door to see what was coming, and as he looked down the corridor, an arrow flew through the air and stuck in the door, right under his nose. He yelped and scooted back inside, shutting the door. "They have a Cave Troll," he announced to the group, as he and Aragorn barred the door with weapons tossed to them by Legolas.
On the other side of the door, there was scrambling and muttering, and the Fellowship heard, "They have an Ogre!" followed by Orc-ish groans of annoyance.
Shrek grinned and prepared for the fight.
A/N: Review time!!! :)