Authoress' Note: Sorry for the long update again... I've been having issues trying to figure out what to do next! But now... Christmas and NewYears are coming! plus... more angst...

Disclaimer: the usual

Chapter 4
When all you need is a friend to lean on to…

"Careful!" cried Tyson as Kai wobbled on the stairwell with a heavy box in hand. The Russian groaned as he fixed his footing and proceeded up with the dragon.

This was definitely not what he had bargained for when he agreed to let Tyson drive him home, yet he had made it safely back to the dorms in one piece. To be all-honest, Tyson was not that bad of a driver, not that Kai wished to test his luck again.

Then again, even though Tyson's driving was sane, his taste in music was nothing short of detesting to Kai's ears. On a normal occasion, he was just fine with ColdFusion, Story of the Year, and Lost Prophets. But he did not have a hankering for listening to a mix of American Broadway show tunes, punk, pop, and jazz. It just wasn't his taste.

And it also didn't help when Tyson sang—err attempted to sing would have been more politically correct. With as skilled as Tyson was with a beyblade, the man could not hold a tune if his life depended on it.

So with the mixture of Kai's idea of bad music, Tyson's wailing, and his killer lungs, Kai would say he had better days in his life before…none which he brought up in his mind though.

Opening his dorm room, Tyson led Kai into the living space and showed him where to put down his bags and boxes. Setting them down, Kai could feel his lungs heaving because of the icy cold air still inside of him.

Going outside that long probably wasn't one of his wisest ideas lately, not that he would admit that out loud.

"Thanks again, Kai. Here…sit down, and I'll make us some soup and tea!" exclaimed Tyson talking Kai's coat from him. It was more like Tyson was practically ripping it off of the taller man' body. Flustered for a second, Kai found his sense and pulled out the small stool next to the cluttered desk and rested on it, covering his mouth to cough yet again.

"That is one wicked cough you got there, Kai. How long have you had it?"

Kai held in his groan, not wanted to answer the question that his former teammate had placed down on the table for him. He wanted to avoid it at all costs.

"Uh…what kind of soup are you making?"

"Chicken noodle…my favorite!" Kai nodded and proceeded to let his eyes wander around the small dorm room of Tyson's.

Half of the room was completely trashed with things thrown everywhere. Dirty and used clothes were scattered all over the bed and dressers, books and papers were sprawled out over the desk, and the dishes in the sink looked like they had been sitting there for a bit.

The other half of the room was clear and clean with only the new bags and boxes to taint it. Obviously Tyson's roommate went home for the long break.

Tyson on the other hand was rather embarrassed about his style of…house keeping. But he never let that show, seeing as Kai didn't bring it up.

"You here alone?" Tyson looked up from the stove and shrugged as if it was no big deal to him. Kai hadn't met Tyson's roommate, Damon, before, but according to Tala, the guy was practically kicked out of school already.

"It's OK really. Damon was rarely here anyway. He was always at some party or bar. I don't mind the quiet though. It is pretty nice not waking up to the smell of cigarettes and alcohol every now and then…What about you? Tala still around?"

"Yeah. He's out with his girlfriend right now. It is not like we really have anywhere to go…"

"What about your mansion and such? With your grandfather in jail for life now; don't you get his money or something? Your inheritance?" Kai shook his head.

"The house and his things were all sold."

"Oh. I see." Tyson bit his lip, trying to think of something…anything too keep this conversation going. "Well then, if you are still here over break, do you have any plans? Are you doing anything with anyone while school's out?"

Kai sat back, crossing his arms as a hidden smirk appeared on his face. Plans? He hadn't really thought of those before. Maybe he should, seeing as though his time was ticking away.

My plans for the break? Hmm… Well, let's see. My winter break would include daily visits to the chemotherapy and radiation treatments…oh that after that I am going to barf my guts out. I will be taking all those goddamned pills, which are just the doctor's idea of a false hope.

Can't forget about Tala babying me. Then there is the coming to the conclusion that Grandfather and Balkov finally finished me off this time…

"Dude… Kai… you there? Kai… you're totally spacing out on me!" said Tyson waving the wooden spoon in front of Kai' face. Blinking, Kai noticed the bluenette standing in front of him.

"Sorry. I don't have much planned-"

"GREAT! I don't either! We can hang out with each other until school starts again! Well not that I wouldn't mind hanging when school starts again either…oh it will be so much fun!" Kai was taking back a bit by Tyson's sudden and unexpected outburst. "I always wanted to see this new horror film, and …"

Tyson went on rambling everything that the two former teammates could possibly do on their month off of school. Kai just sat there, letting Tyson have his fun. He knew that he couldn't do half of what Tyson wanted to do. For him, it wasn't mentally possible for him anymore. Tyson soon brought over the two bowls of hot soup and returned with the cups of hot tea. Tyson sat down on his bed next to Kai, and handed him his cup and bowl.

The warm liquid felt good against the phoenix's sore throat. He hadn't truly realized how cold he had bee from before. Kai's bit his tongue in between the sips. He didn't want to rain on Tyson's parade, as the dragon continued to list even more options for them to do.

"That sounds great and all Tyson, but…"

"Oh, I get it. You don't want to hang out with me. Don't sweat it! I understand completely, Kai. You never really were one for 'hanging out'. And if it wasn't anymore obvious as to where you got the nickname, Mr. Sourpants…"

"I didn't mean it like that," Kai cringed, wanting to take back his words. "Wait… what did you call me?" Tyson grinned behind his soup bowl and quickly stuffed another spoonful into his mouth with a cheesy smile.

"I meant… that is a lot to do. Not that you shouldn't do what you want… but aren't you meeting with Rei or Max anytime during break? What about your family?" Kai mentally growled at the use of the word. It was as if a light bulb clicked on in Tyson's head.

"OH! I completely forgot! Rei and Max are coming over for a New Year's Eve celebration! You can join us if you want too! They would love it if you came!"

"Um… I'll think about it." Kai just never liked it when Tyson got all excited, only to be shut down. He had done that before and Kai knew it hurt Tyson more than he ever led on.

"Great. So… I say we go to the movies tonight!"

"I haven an appointment tonight, and don't you have to warp those gifts?" asked Kai before having another spoonful of the canned chicken soup.

"Good point there… So then tomorrow. We'll do something tomorrow," quickly stated Tyson, finishing up his soup. Kai nodded and mentally sighed. He would eventually have to give into to Tyson's arrangements… maybe he could work his appointments for later at night…

When Kai got back to his dorm room, he noticed Tala was still gone. Honestly, Kai was rather pleased not to run into a confrontation with the red head about his absence from the room when he returned. Kai really did not want to hear another fun filled lecture with Tala about how he has to think more about the choices he makes.

Glancing over to the clock, it read 5:30 PM. He hadn't really noticed how late it had gotten, or how long he had stayed at Tyson's while the overly excited guy planned out their entire break. Tyson had rattled off about a dozen movies he wanted to see, a couple restaurants he wanted to test out, some snowboarding trip, then there was…

Kai yawned as the thought of actually doing all of that hit him. There was not way he could do that…not with his—err—current condition. Sure Tyson was all excited and bouncing as he was plotting out the month, and Kai just sat there…not really answering him back.

Luckily the presents came back to Tyson's mind and he practically shoved Kai out of the room so he could start wrapping. And now, Kai was alone again, just as he had been before he decided for that walk.

5:30… that meant two more hours until he had to go to the hospital for yet another…session. That sounded better to him than chemotherapy. Two hours to himself.

Two hours…two hours… What the hell was he going to do in those two hours… what was he going to do after those two hours. What about the next day? Next month? Next year? Kai's fists clenched tightly and he threw his fist into the wall.

Ignoring the pain in his knuckles, Kai stormed over to the desk and ripped out a notepad and a pen. He wrote down everything that came to his mind, every thought, want, memory… He started jotting down his plans for this year, his goals… why? Why not. It wasn't like he was going anywhere…

Scribbling down on the pad, the time ticked away faster than Kai could have anticipated. Glancing at the alarm clock, the red numbers were blinking a 6:45. Putting his pen down and carefully locking the notepad in his drawer, Kai gathered up his things and grabbed his keys.

Walking down towards the leveled parking garage, a few people ran into Kai, knocking his aside slightly as he turned his shoulders to lessen the impact. Normally he would have threatened them or something, but he practically ignored them as he made his way to the elevator.

It didn't take long for him to pull out of his parking space and drive down the levels. Once again, his car was blasting some music. It was by a newer group, Between Home and Serenity, that he had found to not be a bother to him. At least they were not Justin Timberlake… Tyson was going to learn one day…

"Now that this coffin lid is closed, I'm left on my own here, staring out in front of me. There is nothing left that I could do to retrace these footsteps back to you…"

As luck happened, Kai hit every single red light on the way to the hospital. The usual 15-minute drive turned into a half an hour procedure. The holiday rush was getting to the people and was not calming down. Kai just tapped his fingers impatiently on the rim of the steering wheel, as the bumper-to-bumper traffic was not letting up.

The longer he sat in the car, the longer he had time to actually think about the future. A lot of what ifs came to his mind as he couldn't drown them out with the loud, blasting music threatening to bust his speaker system.

Parking in a vacant spot in the hospital's visitor section, Kai sighed as he turned off his car. Each visit was getting more and more pain in his realization. And now he was yet again…alone.

As he made his way to the receptionist's desk, he rattled off his name and sat down in the waiting room, which already had a few others in the occupied room.

Crossing his arms, closing his eyes, and placing a set of headphones on, Kai ignored those still in the room, but that didn't stop others from noticing him. There were two kids in there, and their mothers were busy drowning themselves in their books and music. He himself had just to actually turn on any music of his own.

"Hey! That's my toy!"

"Come on! You have to share sometime!"

"No I don't!"

"Hey, isn't that Kai Hiwatari?" asked a little boy playing with some toy Kai had not taken to acknowledging.

"Yeah! He was a Blade Breaker, but lost a World Championship to Tyson Kinomiya!" whispered a girl towards the boy. Kai appeared that he didn't hear them… he didn't care what they said.

"He's a wash out! I heard he hasn't spun a blade in YEARS!"

"My mom told me that he is an ex-convict! Not that I know what that means, but according to my mom, that's not a good thing!" she whispered.

"I heard he has something to do with the street gang fights that have been breaking out locally. My big brother almost got caught up in one of those! Daddy wasn't happy with that…"

Kai resisted the eye twitch of annoyance. What did they know anyway? They were stupid kids… And those stupid kids ran off to the other side of the waiting room, when their mother's glances landed on Kai.

"I heard he's a child molester, just like his grandfather…" whispered one of the mothers, obviously thinking he was too busy with his CD player.

"Yes. That's what I heard too…also something about him planning on springing his grandfather from jail. I hear that he's planning on trying to take over the world again…"

"I wonder what he's doing here?"

"What ever it is… it must not be good."

"Kai Hiwatari?" Kai's eyes snapped open, causing the mothers to jump back into their books as if nothing had happened, as if they had not said anything about him. Kai stood up to see a nurse standing behind him with a plastic smile.

"If you would follow me…" she chirped. Taking off his headphones, Kai followed her patiently and quietly down towards the elevator behind the desk. Traveling up a few floors, she directed Kai to a room. Sighing, he proceeded in for another round of his torment…

OK! This finally took me too long to write... So sorry! I love my fic, I just don't like my brain right now! Now... those Justin Timberlake fans out there...no hard feelings. I just don't like him at all! And seeing this is my story... it is just fine for me to write!

Please R and R... and please don't flame... I've been getting a LOT of those lately... with other fics...

Reborn by my tears
lil phoenix