Author's Note: Although I'm working diligently, it wasn't physically possible for me to finish this by, well, yesterday. Cristin-chan, fortunately, understands, and I hope y'all will too.
Disclaimer: Not mine! (glomps Wanda) I wish she were, though…
Chapter Three: Interruptions
For the most part, Timmy Turner avoided his new godparents whenever he could. Although it sometimes meant going completely out of his way, he preferred it to meeting with his treacherous godfather and his godmother's counterpart. Neither gave a damn about him and, if Cosmo cared, he was too preoccupied with Anti Wanda to notice. By now, it suited Timmy, because he cared about nothing and no one. The whole world, including his godparents, Vicky, Tootie, Trixie, A.J., Chester, and his parents could go hang. No one cared, so why should he?
Perhaps that wasn't entirely true. Wanda had always cared about him and, no matter how many times he'd shoved her away, she continued to. That was, until Cosmo chased her away. He hated him for putting himself first and driving her into exile. More than that, he hated him for being stupid enough to let her slip from his fingers. She'd loved him; how could anyone throw away love?
Today, he hadn't been lucky enough to escape them. Throwing his bag onto the bed, he glanced up to find them playing a game in the corner of his room. He wished they'd find some other place to live, because seeing them there brought his blood to a boil. Everything about them disgusted him; the bile rose in his throat looking. Sometimes, Cosmo irritated him to the point where he thought he might be physically sick.
Sullen, Timmy glowered at his new godparents, Anti Wanda and Cosmo. Truth be told, he couldn't tolerate either one of them, especially now. Cosmo was openly mocking his ex wife and, like the moron she was, Anti Wanda chimed in. The whole thing disgusted him, especially because now more than ever before, he needed Wanda to talk to. No one else would listen to him or comfort him. He'd ceased being important.
"And then-" Cosmo started, but Timmy interrupted.
"What the hell is your problem?" He snapped coldly, eyes ablaze.
"Don't you have any respect at all for the creature that loved you for over ten thousand years? She went into exile because of you!"
"Exile?" Cosmo repeated, blinking. "What do you mean?"
"That's what her note said. And she told me that she was as good as dead, whatever that means."
Weakly, Cosmo protested. "I didn't want her dead..."
Timmy glowered. "Then what did you want? She's still in love with you, you idiot!"
Technically, he had no evidence of this, but he also had no evidence to the contrary. And, from the little he knew of her, he sincerely doubted her own loyalties were as fleeting as his. If she'd flung herself into exile, then Cosmo must have hurt her considerably. It wouldn't have hurt if she no longer loved him. By his reasoning, if she'd given up on him, she'd return home. However, he hadn't seen heads or tails of her and it disturbed him.
"She was," Anti Wanda said suddenly. "Then I heard she died."
Both Timmy and Cosmo's mouth's dropped. Cosmo abruptly lost all the color in his face and clutched his wand. No words came out, but he stammered nonsensically. Timmy sincerely hoped he was sorry, because if he wasn't, he'd make him that way soon enough.
However, Wanda dead was a low blow. Timmy couldn't imagine a worse fate- trapped forever here with these nitwits who couldn't godparent their way out of a paper bag. A great lump rose in his throat and he turned away, wishing to cry but not in front of them. He'd loved Wanda...but no one else had...
Without another word, he ran out the door, down the stairs, and fled his house. Little did he know he would run into Tootie along the way...
She found him weeping inconsolably, his head pressed against his arm. She was tentative to touch him- after all, he'd ignored her for the past six years. Why should she care about him? Still, she sensed it was fate bringing them here and if so, she had no business playing around with it.
"Wanda..." Timmy moaned and Tootie jumped.
"What about her?" She whispered, sitting beside him. Timmy ceased crying to jump up, stunned, and gaze at her with his mouth open. Too many shocks today.
"How do you know-" He started.
"Never mind that. What about her?"
"I want to know how you-"
"Shut the hell up and tell me!" Tootie roared, rising to her feet as well. "She may be your fairy godmother, but I knew her too and I need to know!"
"She's not my fairy godmother anymore..." Timmy replied bleakly. "She's not even close...she...she's..."
Swallowing hard, he spoke what he didn't dare believe, "She's dead..."
Tootie's stomach dropped straight out of her body and instead of intestines, worms crawled. For a moment, the world spun before her eyes. While she could fathom Timmy's misery about Wanda's death, the thought Wanda could be dead threw her as well. And, given the amount of crying her ex crush was doing, it must have destroyed him. He wasn't even bothering to shade himself from any passers-by, either.
"Are...are you sure?" Tootie whispered, awkwardly placing a hand on his shoulder. He spun around and buried his head in her chest. Heat rose in her cheeks- one of the things she'd wanted so badly in her earlier years, and a vague longing throbbed. No...it couldn't be. He'd chased after Trixie Tang for years and she was ready to give up on him noticing her, but she still wanted him?
"I...I don't know...but if I have to live with Anti Wanda and Cosmo any longer, I might join her," Timmy muttered darkly. "I didn't think it was possible to be stupider than Cosmo."
Tootie laughed hollowly, uncertain of Cosmo's intelligence. All she knew was he was a lying, cheating bastard and she'd much rather he was dead than his ex wife. He deserved to die horribly, too. In fact, the sooner, the better for him. She'd go prepare the battle axe.
"Wanda was the only creature that listened to me...and I took her for granted. She was the only one who loved me..." Timmy whispered, tears forming again. He clutched her tightly, as though afraid she might vanish on him too. Once again, she blushed deeply.
"I love you," Tootie murmured, unaware at first she'd said it or simply thought it. However, when he raised his head and gazed openly at her, she figured she must have uttered it. Sometimes, she detested her big mouth. Although she hardly had the stupidity and verbal diarrhea of Vicky, she had a tendency to say too much, even now.
"I thought you gave up on that stuff years ago," Timmy snapped, unconsciously rejecting her. The godmother he'd loved abandoned him, so why should he waste his time loving anyone else? She'd just have to go away too.
Bereft of any proper response, she snapped, "Fuck you."
Then, without another word, she sauntered off, tempted to punch him in the gut when she passed. What good did it do to think about Wanda, anyway? The past was the past and no one could change it. If Wanda was dead, well, and as tragic as that was, she was part of Timmy and if he was going to be such a dick all over again, she wasn't interested in anything to do with him.
Juandissimo, idly watching his godson connive his way out of various tasks and woo girls, discovered ridding his mind of Wanda proved more difficult than he'd previously thought. Whenever he shut his eyes, however briefly, he saw her haggard face before him. Anger surged through him- when he got his hands around the neck of that buffoon, he would give him enough incentive to never hurt his Wanda again. Murder, though rarely an option for a lightsided fairy, suited him perfectly. How else to hammer his anger home?
Remy glanced up at him briefly, disguised as a purple peacock, and then shuffled off. As godchildren aged, they required their godparents less. Personally, sometimes he felt Remy could do better on his own, but he wasn't happy enough to qualify for his release. Therefore, he remained, sticking close to Remy as an excuse at times to spy on Timmy and the wretched excuse for a fairy Cosmo was.
Take today, for example. While he maintained a comfortable distance from Remy, just in case he needed him, he strutted over to the park and halted, spotting a familiar figure on the bench. Timmy Turner had his face pressed against his arm and sobbed, his chest heaving. Juan blinked, stunned into staring. Given his apathy recently, what could have motivated him to suddenly display such emotion? He might be paranoid, but he was tempted to chalk it up to Cosmo and his treacherous ways.
"Wanda…" Timmy sobbed, in between gasps. "She can't be…no…"
Fighting a strong urge to expose himself and ask what on earth was wrong, he instead shuffled a few paces closer. Besides, Timmy interested him only as long as he was tied to Wanda. He could perhaps use him to lure Wanda back to Earth. It was certainly worth a shot, at any rate. She might not want to deal with Cosmo, but her godson was the reason she'd lived there to begin with. And if she was half the godmother he thought she was, she'd realize how badly he needed her.
"She can't be dead…she can't…"
So he thinks she's dead along with the rest of Fairy World. I did not think she was truly dead, because I refused to believe it as well. That is why I sought her out…but he does not have that option.
Si, he needs her more than anyone else and she is in exile over that waste. I must tell her…if she'll let me.
Tensing up, ready to poof off, he paused briefly to think, Worry not. Hopefully, help is soon coming…
Hugging her always present cloak to her chest tightly, she gazed down at the still waters, shifting only slightly in the breeze. Ripples traveled from one end to the other, and she observed, transfixed. One little ripple in turn affected others vastly. In fact, one that seemed so small disrupted so much.
"Good afternoon, mi amor," Juandissimo purred, sitting beside her at the brook. She jumped up as if stung and grabbed her wand, preparing to take off. Most of her conversations revolved around him and his persistence. No matter how many times she ran away, he always came back.
"I'm not your love anymore," Wanda said coldly. "So just give it up before I hurt you."
"I don't think you will." He replied swiftly, caressing her face. For a split second, desire crossed her face- she wanted to love and be loved. If he was going to pay attention to her, love her, and perhaps even more, then he had her attention. Conversely, she didn't want it. She wanted the nothingness of solitude and the gift of death. How swift it would be, to destroy herself, but she wasn't that type of fairy. Instead, she'd hang on until the ropes broke and she slipped into the darkness. At least there, she'd be secure.
"Stop," she ordered, raising her wand to glow threatening in front of his face. "I went into exile to avoid fairies like you, who pretend they care."
"Si, and you are not doing so well there, mi amor. Can you not recall the ones you left, who really did care? They might have been few, but they were there. Do you not remember Timmy?" At his name, the color drained from her face and her wand arm collapsed to her side. She had been suffering guilt pangs, but she hadn't known quite what to do about it. Somehow, she thought he thinking her dead would help him. Maybe it'd give him peace.
"Your godson has been crying over your supposed death. I have found him crying your name."
Swallowing hard, the guilt nearly overwhelming her, she murmured, "I couldn't have...he should have forgotten..."
"But he did not," Juan replied softly. "Nor should you."
Godparents made a pact with their godchildren, whether it was realized or not. They could not abandon their godchildren in full conscience much like real parents who loved their offspring could bring themselves to do. Wanda was not the type of fairy to blindly forget those in need, no matter how much she herself ached. He only hoped he could remind her of others that cared about her. She was not alone.
"Maybe I could just pop in there and check on him, then vanish again," Wanda blurted, suddenly fascinated with the surface of the glassy water. Watching the waves took her mind off what she'd left behind and what could not bear to contend with again. In the night, they rolled along, whispers of peace in the darkness. She recalled sleeping by the shore once because it soothed her.
"No. He must talk with you, Wanda, not have you disappear on him again. If you are to visit him, then you must truly swallow your pride and go. Can you do that?" Juandissimo murmured, placing a hand on her shoulder and watching her hypnotic gaze upon the water. An unpleasant thought struck him and he shook his head, trying to dispel it. Wanda was not that type of fairy. Whatever the reason, the waves soothed her. They were not there to destroy her.
Still, removing her from these dreary surroundings might do her a world of good. Alone, she focused on herself and her loss, but when she was with Juandissimo, sad though it was, she had to focus on avoiding him instead of thinking about Cosmo. It was a slight change of topic, but the more he lured her out into the open, the better off she was. It did not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.
Abruptly, she opened her eyes, pain filled, and gently shoved his hand aside. Her hand was on her wand and he entertained little doubt she wouldn't visit her godson. Wanda knew her obligations same as he. She could not ignore Timmy now. Regardless of her personal qualms with the pathetic one, he failed to figure in here.
Sliding away from him, she whispered, "It's all my fault..."
"No!" Juandissimo growled, snatching her by the shoulders. "It is not!"
Smiling weakly, wistfully, she placed her wand between them and backed away. Placing her cloak over her eyes yet again, she poofed off. Her words still rang in his head…..'it's all my fault….' He would kill Cosmo for causing her to place the blame solely on her shoulders and not the rightful fairy.
By a stroke of luck, she found him staring at the wall and sitting in his room alone. Her entrance was silent and she examined him and his surroundings. Everything was dark, depressing, including the teen on the bed. Was this what had happened in her absence? Had she really caused all of this? She was the worst fairy in history...
"Tim-Timmy?" Wanda whispered, descending to sit at the far end of his bed. Her voice trembled as her conscience reminded her of the selfishness of her actions. Tears threatened to blind her, tears she desperately ground her fists into her eyes to avoid. She was stronger than this.
He didn't respond. Presumably, he ignored her, since, if Juandissimo was correct, he probably found her to be an apparition. His next statement confirmed this.
Under his breath, he muttered, "Now I know I'm going insane. Wanda's dead, remember?"
"Only legally, sport." Smiling weakly, she poofed to his lap, where he couldn't possibly ignore her. Even there, he avoided her gaze. Perhaps because of the cloak over her eyes, but she doubted it. Surely he recognized her voice.
Sighing softly, she threw the hood back and her haggard face took in his. Now, regardless of the physical impacts of depression, he could not deny her existence. She might look like death warmed over at times, but the important thing was she was actually present. Now, to force Timmy to see that…
Her pink eyes bored into his, but he continued to ignore her. Her hopes of his noticing her soon faded and she flopped back on his bed. Black covered the ceiling, much like the teen. He reminded her of her own 'death'.
She whispered, "I really screwed up this time, didn't I? I made Cosmo stop loving me...I turned Timmy into this..."
Suppressing a shudder, she rose suddenly into the air. "I was better off pretending I was dead...at least then, I could accept the blame."
Timmy turned in her direction and stared openly. While he couldn't believe his fairy godmother was anything more than an apparition, he also couldn't believe she'd be taking the blame for this. It sounded eerily like her...and so he finally spoke.
"This isn't your fault, Wanda. It's Cosmo's for hurting you." Why doesn't she understand that? Is that why she went into exile? She thought she caused him to cheat on her?
"No...no, it's not...I should have been better...I should have made him love me..." Breathing deeply, she settled back down, prepared for a very awkward conversation. Gingerly, he reached out and touched her. He nearly jumped again, stunned to discover not only didn't his hand go through, but she was actually alive. She hadn't been lying...
"You're-you're supposed to be dead," Timmy whispered, squeezing her arm (painfully, she might add) and finally hugging her so tightly, all the air escaped from her lungs. Juandissimo hadn't dared hug her this tightly and other than him, no one else dared touch her before then after Cosmo...
"There were times when I wanted to be," Wanda murmured, unaware of what she was saying until it escaped her. Guilt overrode her and she jerked away, sensing she was teetering on the edge of revealing something best left unsaid. Memories of sobbing in Tootie's room struck her- there was no way she was returning to that. If she was going to cry, it would be alone, without the chance of losing it in front of someone who always thought her strong.
"What!" Timmy cried, tempted to shake her but only holding her tightly in response. "No...Wanda...I love you..."
Her words chilled him to the core. Wanda never gave up, even when it seemed hopeless. Hearing her sound so defeated, so pathetic, it frightened him. Cosmo hadn't just divorced her, he'd broken her. How could the fairy trembling in his arms be his Wanda? How could she feel so weak?
Those three words stunned her in both their simplicity and the ease in which he'd said it. The last time she'd heard them, well, the thought didn't bear proceeding with. Still, from his point of view, she didn't think he was lying to her. He truly did love her. Unlike Cosmo, he wouldn't leave her because his interest passed.
Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted the telltale poof, one she used to accompany. All the color drained from her face and she immediately pushed at Timmy. No, she'd overstayed her welcome. Remaining here would mean talking to him and she'd rather ingest poison than deal with the mistake she'd forced him into. Not to mention facing him meant facing her anti form, a creature she now loathed with a passion matched only with her hatred for herself.
"I'll come back and visit," she offered feebly, snatching her wand and preparing to vanish quicker than you could say "Abra-Catastrophe". She couldn't stay...too much pain...
"NO!" Timmy screamed, terrified she wouldn't come back. After all, she'd vanished for such a long time, and he'd thought her dead...he couldn't bear the thought of losing her again. If she vanished, he was going to jump alongside her.
"I...I have to..." She whimpered, noticing Cosmo noticing her for the first time. She felt nauseous.
"Wanda?" Cosmo called and she winced. There were too many ways for him to use her name and she remembered all of them.
"Don't...use my name. You've gotten it dirty."
Of course, that particular remark drifted over his remarkably small brain. Instead, he peered at her as though he'd never seen her before and approached her cautiously. Timmy looked as though he'd dearly love to murder his godfather and smash him against the nearest window. He'd be damned if his godfather drove his godmother away.
"I thought you were dead," Cosmo whispered, reaching out to her. She cringed, instinctively recoiling into her godson.
A painful lump rose in her throat. Glancing from her ex husband to her godson, she gripped her wand hard enough it dug into her palm and prepared to poof off. He was the reason everyone thought she was dead. He was the reason she wished she'd never told Blonda anything, never spoken to Juandissimo. If Timmy eventually forgot about her, then he'd forget the misery of his childhood. She shouldn't have come back.
"I wish I was," she spat, willing herself to vanish. However, the instant she nearly poofed away, Timmy clutched her tighter and instead of one fairy returning to Fairy World, there was one fairy and one human.
Somewhere along the line, although she couldn't fathom why it took so much out of her, she passed out on the way to Fairy World. Only a voice screeching her in her ear brought her back long enough to transport them all the way. What on earth had drained her so quickly? Normally, the only thing that exerted that much energy was carrying a human to Fairy World…but why would she do that? She'd run away from Cosmo and Timmy…Timmy…
Panting, the world swirled around her and she sunk gratefully into darkness. If she never recovered, she'd be a very happy fairy. Of course, such things were never meant to be.
"Wanda!" Timmy screamed, shaking her. His godmother lay peacefully, curled up around her wand. The thing was, she lay so peacefully, he thought she really was dead. Vaguely, he recalled her saying when he was ten about how much magic it took to transport a human to Fairy World and he sighed guilty. If he weren't terrified of losing her, he wouldn't have done it.
Gently, trying his best to swallow his panic, he rolled her over and observed her breathing, shallow and quick. He didn't know whether to be relieved she wasn't dead or frightened she would be soon. While he knew next to nothing about fairies or humans in terms of health, she was clammy and her eyelids fluttered. Her heartbeat was erratic, too, and he was having a hard time not panicking. He couldn't have killed his godmother by piggy-backing, right? Oh, he hoped not…
"Wanda!" Timmy screamed again, frowning at the thought of doing what they do with people drowning and push on her chest. A blush spread across his face- while this wasn't his mother, it was still someone like her. Therefore, her chest was clearly off-limits. However, what else was he supposed to do?
"Leave me alone..." Wanda moaned, rolling over onto her side. "Go away..."
Panic stricken, he lightly pinched her cheeks, waxen and clammy. At least now he knew she was conscious, but he could tell he was going to have one hell of a time forcing her to full attentiveness. While he thought about ways to restore her, she clutched her wand to her chest and curled into a fetal position. He winced, wondering how he could touch her with her weapon out.
"Wanda, it's me, Timmy." Desperately, he pinched her cheeks again and she opened her eyes, narrowing them. Cautiously, she unfolded her legs, sat up, and gave him a crude look. Then again, he probably deserved it, given his choice selection of rousing her. Her wand remained clutched to her chest, as though she were afraid someone were about to attack her. He wondered briefly if the cloak held more weapons he had yet to see, then decided Wanda wasn't the type to be packing 'heat'.
Opening her mouth, she decided against it and closed it again. Sighing heavily, she jumped off the bed only to fall, too dizzy to stand or float. The world swam before her eyes. Too much magic…he'd drained her by jumping along…her chest constricted…
Chest heaving, she rested against the side and wearily gazed up at her godson, pale. Loath though she was to admit it, he'd cornered her, plain and simple. She hadn't enough magic to escape, or even enough strength to flee the room. By jumping her, he'd sealed her fate. She had to talk about whatever Timmy wanted…or else pass out. But passing out and returning to unconsciousness was not preferable, simply because she couldn't recover fully there either. She was in a bind.
Delicately, like porcelain, he scooped her up and cradled her. One hand stroked her hair and the other clutched her to him. Pacing her breathing prevented her from at least fainting in his arms. She felt so terribly weak right now, as though the faintest wind might send her soaring through the air. Timmy's strength overpowering her didn't help in the slightest. With all her heart, she loathed being weak- part of why she blamed herself for Cosmo's cheating. Admitting she was powerless to stop it took strength from her.
"Wanda…" Timmy murmured after a long silence. "Why do you think this is your fault?"
Why did you have to start with such a difficult question? Why do you care so much all of a sudden? Why can't everyone just leave me alone?
Laying her head, resigned, against his chest, she murmured, "What do you want, sport? The truth? Or the lies that help you sleep better at night?"
Lies did help someone sleep better at night, she mused. When she thought Cosmo still loved her, she could snuggle down in her bed and wake up to the insults a little easier. When her world had crashed around her and the subsequent days, weeks, months, and years later, the truth gave her many sleepless nights, wondering what she'd done wrong, why he didn't find her attractive anymore. It never occurred to her to blame someone else, like him, because if he didn't find her attractive, then it must be her. She'd done everything to make herself look attractive, but he'd lost interest quickly.
Perplexed, he tilted her head up and she blinked back tears, recalling the nights afterwards. He wanted the truth, what she'd avoided telling anyone because it was too painful to admit to herself, much less to another. That was why exile worked, because she only had herself. Of course, her sister had to go and ruin that, by blabbing to anyone within earshot. Didn't she understand if Wanda wanted so badly to be dead that she listed herself deceased, she wanted to be left alone?
Brushing away errant tears that obstinately refused to be bitten back, Timmy murmured, "I want your truth. I don't want you to safeguard him. I want to know why you went into exile and tried to kill yourself."
Wanda whispered, "Killing yourself and listing yourself as dead are two different things, sport. Living in exile and the afterlife are two different things as well. Cosmo might have broken my heart, but I'm too strong to simply throw in the towel and finish myself off. You should know that."
He nodded, but she had the sense he wasn't going to simply leave it at that. Prodding, he asked, "And why did you go into exile?"
Sighing heavily, exhaustion nearly overwhelming her, she replied, "Isn't that obvious? Why would any creature go into exile if not to be alone? My letter should have explained that."
"Your letter explained nothing." Timmy snapped, exacerbated.
"Then you weren't reading it carefully," Wanda shot back coolly, hating where this conversation headed. As soon as he asked her about Cosmo and why she'd overreacted (if she had), then she'd do her best to escape. It was preferable to reopening old wounds that had never quite healed properly.
"Why won't you tell me?" He retorted, frustrated. Why did it seem like prying her secrets from her was like prying open a clam? Every time he broached the subject, she'd shudder and test her limbs to see if they would work in a quick escape. Fortunately for him, she was too fatigued yet to fight. He just had to hope it would last until he maneuvered past her defenses.
Because the last creature I took confidence in lied and betrayed me. I let him in and he shattered me. Why should I open myself to you, a human that I'll have to leave eventually anyway?" And the dragon whispered, 'All things die in time...'
"I promise I won't hurt you." He murmured, stroking her face. Wanda kept silent. Containing his temper was becoming increasingly difficult. How could anyone deal with this? He wasn't sure who he was angrier at, her for maintaining her frigidity or Cosmo for causing it. Right now, it was definitely the fairy in his arms.
"You can't promise that."
This time, he couldn't help the growl that escaped him. Fury surged through him- what was she trying to do, infuriate him? If she was, he was well on his way. He'd never known any creature (other than Vicky) to be this maddening.
"Look," he said through clenched teeth, "I know that you're stuck here because I drained all your magic. I know I'm stuck here because until you recover, I have no way home. And we both know you're cornered and you have no real choice here. So quit fighting me."
Wanda swallowed hard. Despite her godson's previously noted lack of intellect, he had a point. Only closing her eyes stopped the world from spinning and her chest felt like it was on fire. Struggling would only mean recovering later than sooner. Besides, he could pretty much do whatever he wanted while he had her like this. She had no options.
Wearily, she murmured, "You want the truth? You want to know why I ran away? Because I can't stand the thought of anyone knowing I'm in pain. That's why I left you a note instead of telling you in person. That's why I went into exile. I can deal with myself far better than anyone else can."
"That isn't true..."
"Oh, it isn't? Since when are you such an expert on me, Timmy? Since when is anyone?"
Well, maybe no one is because you don't let them in." He retorted, folding his arms across his chest and scowling down at her.
"Look, I know Cosmo hurt you-" As soon as he spoke it, he also realized it was an understatement. Saying Cosmo had hurt her was like saying receiving an F as a final grade would bring down your average. Timmy had never claimed to be particularly articulate.
"You know? How? Do you know how much he hurt me? Do you know what it's like to trust someone absolutely and then have them betray you? Do you know what it's like when that person has been your lover for over ten thousand years? You know nothing."
Flabbergasted, he stared blankly at her. She trembled in his arms again, but it wasn't for the same reason as before. The dam of emotions had been building and building, and, with Timmy acting as the catalyst, she finally exploded. (This is why it's never safe to contain your emotions for years, even if you are immortal).
"You don't know what it's like to wake up next to someone who wished you were someone else. You don't know what it's like to try to become whoever they want, only to have them tell you they don't love you anyway. And you still love them, worthless though that is. You know your love counts for nothing anymore, but you can't abandon them. You think you're needed and as long as you're needed, you can stay.
"You make up excuses why you should stay and take the insults, the abuse. They might not make any sense to anyone but you, but that's all right. You don't plan to expose your soft underbelly to anyone, anyway, so your reasoning being defunct matters little. All that matters is somewhere, somehow, you're needed.
"Then, when you find out you're not, that you wasted all that time trying to bring him back and have someone give a damn, it's like the earth collapsing beneath your feet. You realize all the reasoning in the world won't save you from the fact that you couldn't stop it from happening, because it's all your fault-"
"It's not your fault," Timmy murmured. "You have to stop blaming yourself."
Continuing on, pretending she hadn't heard him, she said, strangely high pitched, "You realize you have to get out of there before you really lose it. And that's why I left, Timmy."
Throat constricted, she whispered, "Do you think I'm a coward? Because I ran away from you and him? Because I preferred to fake my own death than deal with what I'd caused?"
Shoving her to the bed a bit harsher than he'd intended, he glowered down at the small pink fairy, eyes swimming with tears. She hugged herself, hanging her head. He could see the self doubt and blame almost palpable, nearly drowning her. She'd twisted this so she wouldn't have to blame him. Maybe if she took the rap, she wouldn't have to feel so powerless.
"Listen to me," Timmy growled, lifting her head up so she'd be forced to look at him. "This isn't your fault. It was never your fault. Cosmo's a dick, okay? It wasn't because you were unattractive or if you 'nagged'. It was because he can't concentrate on anything longer than five seconds!
"He played you and you keep protecting him, why? What's the point? Let him get what he deserves, Wanda. I'm not entirely sure what that is, but it has to be substantial."
Softly, cupping her chin in his palm, he leaned forward and murmured, "Why won't you blame him? Because if you do, then it means you couldn't have stopped him?"
Surprising them both, she snapped, "Yes! Because that means I was powerless to do anything and nothing I could have done would have worked! I could have changed him-"
"You couldn't have changed him. You should know that by now. And you weren't powerless, Wanda. That's like calling you helpless. You did something-"
She laughed hollowly. "Far too late. I exposed myself to a human before I did that."
"Human? What are you talking about? I'm the only human that knows about you, right?"
Fidgeting like a small child that knows it has done something bad, she avoided his eyes. Timmy's anger wouldn't be pretty when he discovered what she'd accidentally done and then made no attempts to rectify. Especially when it came to something as foolhardy as revealing herself and risking him losing her. Distantly, she smiled weakly, recalling he had lost her anyway, but not because of her.
"Tootie knows," Wanda murmured, bowing her head again. Before she could explain further, he exploded. If he were a magical creature, everything in the room probably would have spontaneously combusted or otherwise been destroyed, but instead, his temper took root. His blue eyes flashed furiously and he punched the wall. His teeth ground and his fists pounded the cement a few times; she watched the plaster fall detachedly.
"Tootie!" Timmy hissed, beating the wall. Wanda suddenly thought of Jorgen pounding them.
"That little bitch! Whore! Slut! Ho!"
"I get the point, Timmy," Wanda snapped, but he wasn't done. Far from it, actually.
"Cunt! Cocksucker-"
"Watch your language, young man! I don't appreciate it at all," Wanda snapped, grabbing her wand, glowing faintly. She had a little magic back, good.
"Piece of shi-" He started, but she held up her wand and zipped his mouth. She gave him a rather cold look. Vulgarity usually disgusted her and the abundance from her godson irritated her, especially considering who it was directed at. She hadn't the faintest clue why he hated her so much, but until he calmed, she wasn't going to ask. He clearly had lost control of himself.
"Until you can speak properly, remembering I am your fairy godmother and not Chester or A.J., you don't have the privilege of speaking. Are we clear?" Her eyes narrowed, waiting him for nod affirmatively, which he did, glowering just the same. Personally, until he recomposed himself, she cared little how he felt about it.
"I told Tootie because I accidentally drifted into her room- and don't think that, young man. You're in enough trouble for mouthing off." Sullen, he glowered, wondering how the hell she know he was thinking 'likely story'. Sometimes, he wondered if fairies could read minds, then he decided they couldn't, because otherwise, Cosmo and Wanda would still be together. It had to be from her being a godmother for so many years and understanding human nature.
"She lent me her bedroom to release my pent up emotions when no one else would-"
Frowning, she corrected herself. "No, when I wouldn't let anyone else see me. She was there when I needed her...which is why I don't understand why you're so down on her? What on earth did she do to you?"
Cautiously, she unzipped one side of his mouth. Having a zipper for a mouth was rather painful, since metal bound to the skin and shifting the zipper tugged on it. Therefore, if he'd tried to unzip it entirely, he would have ended up screaming, because his chin and cheeks would have started to bleed. She hadn't any recourse, though. What was she supposed to do, let him mouth off?
"I hate her because she's-" Holding up her wand, she silenced him again, stealing his voice. Timmy clutched his throat and mouthed wordlessly at her, but no sounds came out. Hmm, always a useful spell. She really ought to use it more often.
"Before you shoot off again, let me lay some ground rules down. You are not to conjecture on what you think she's doing. You have no proof she's promiscuous and I sincerely doubt she is. Therefore, if you accuse her of being a 'slut' and have no evidence, you'll lose your voice. If you say anything you don't know for certain, then you'll lose your voice. Are we clear?"
Under his breath, he murmured, "Sounds like I'm going to be losing my voice soon."
"Now, why are you so angry with her?"
"Because she's a-" He burst out, but she held up her wand warningly.
"Be mindful of your words, Timmy."
Fuming, he retorted, "I hate her because she's such a bitch! Every time I try to have a conversation with her, she suggests I'm sleeping with Chester and pisses, I mean, irritates me. It's like no matter what I say, she always twists it around-"
"Did you try asking her why she's behaving strangely?" Narrowing her eyes, she scrutinized him.
"Because she's, because she..." He faltered. Quite honestly, he'd never asked her and under her gaze, he quailed. She seemed to perceive through his lies like they were nothing. Her perception was uncanny.
"Because you rejected her and she's defending herself by shoving you away? By acting nasty, she hopes she won't be hurt again? Tell me, Timmy, did you ever think about why she changed or did you just not care?" This time, it was his turn to hang his head shamefully. It'd been a while since she'd chastised him, but in retrospect, he'd always deserved it. He hadn't thought of her at all, just how angry Cosmo and Anti Wanda made him. He'd only focused on himself.
"Maybe she needs someone to actually care about her-"
"She has followers who like her because she's so pretty," Timmy spat and she narrowed her eyes. Rising into the air, she placed her hands on her hips and fixed him with a cold look. Why on earth did it take so long to hone the lesson home? Had he always been this pigheaded and she'd forgotten?
"Followers and friends are not the same thing and I did not unzip you to be interrupted. Either bide your tongue or lose it. It's that simple." Gliding around experimentally, she discovered her powers had returned to her. Good, then she had one more thing to do. She only hoped she could trust Timmy to stay here and not cause any trouble in her absence.
"I'm going to get her and you two will have a conversation, not a series of accusations." Folding her wings to her body majestically, she poofed away before he could object (or curse bitterly).