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Chapter 8

(In Llanview)

Jessica was stubborn. Anyone could tell you--if she wanted something badly enough, she'd fight hard until she got it. Well, she couldn't do that with Antonio because he was just as stubborn as she was. He was determined to stay away from her. It hurt so much. She sat on the bench in front of the angel statue her brother-in-law had designed. Her sister wasn't the only one who liked to come out here to think.

"What are you doing out here this late, Jessica?"

Jessica couldn't believe he was here. "Antonio, I...I was going crazy at home worrying about Natalie."

"Really? Natalie's fine. She's not alone, and you'd better believe that she's in the best hands. So do you want to tell me why you're really out here?"

Jessica sighed and looked up at him. "You're absolutely right, Antonio. I came out here to think about you...me...us."

"I've been thinking about that a lot lately, too," Antonio admitted.

"You have?" Natalie didn't try to hide her surprise.

"I miss you."

"Antonio, you have no idea how much I miss you.

Antonio looked upset. He wanted to hold her in his arms, but how could he forget that she thought that he was a murderer.

"I know that I was wrong, Antonio. I was delirious the night that Tico was killed. I know in my heart that you didn't kill him. My mind was playing tricks on me. That's the only reason why I said it was you. You're not a killer. I hate this. I hate staying away from you."

Antonio was so relieved to here her say those words. He believed her and he was glad that she believed in him. "I hate being away from you too, Jess. I love you."

"I love you, too. Do you think that you can forgive me for accusing you?"

"It hurt when I thought that you could actually believe that I had killed my own brother, but the thing was-I couldn't hate you. I couldn't stay angry with you because I knew it wasn't your fault. I was just upset, but I've forgiven you already."

Jessica was trying not to cry, but tears were already spilling down her cheeks. "Do you think that we can ever be together again?"

"Yes...yes I do. We'll just take it slow..."

"Start over..."

"Rebuild our relationship," Antonio said. He hugged her. "We can do this, Jess."

"I know we can. I promise you that I will never doubt you again," Jessica said, sealing her promise with a kiss.

(Florida)

It was approaching midnight. John and Natalie had watched the sunset, and neither had ever seen it look so beautiful. John's mind was still on the kiss that they had shared earlier. Natalie had completely surprised him when she initiated the kiss. He knew that he shouldn't have been surprised. He knew that Natalie was impulsive. He touched his lips feeling the remnants of her soft lips.

The last people on the beach--a young couple, walked by arm in arm.

Natalie and John were officially alone.

Natalie turned away from John after the couple left. She didn't want him to see that her face was tear-stained. Of course, John immediately knew that something was wrong.

"Hey," he said.

Natalie quickly tried to compose herself. She brushed away her tears and turned back to John.

"It's okay to cry sometimes, Natalie. Chris..."

"Why does everything have to be about him!" Natalie felt herself getting angry. Why did everyone think that every time she was upset, it was because she was mourning over Chris?

"Where is this coming from?"

Natalie pushed herself off the blanket they were sitting on and walked away from him. The beach was empty and silent except for the sound of waves washing up on the sand. Was it raining? She touched her face. No. She was crying.

A thick material covered her shoulders. Natalie turned to see John putting a blanket over her.

"It's kind of cold," he simply said.

"Will you stop caring so much? You shouldn't care about me! I'm a monster!"

"Natalie. I know what this is about. I'm going to tell you again...the whole incident with that imposter was not your.."

"Will you stop? I am a monster. Yes, I loved Chris, and when he died, I would have given my life to bring him back. But we he did come back, I wasn't happy. I wanted to be. I smiled and I pretended to be. It had nothing to do with Chris. It was me," Natalie said. She felt like she was just rambling, but she had to get this off her chest. She had to get him to understand.

"Shh. Calm down." John tried to touch her, but she moved away from his hands. "Just talk to me. Why was it you? Why do you keep blaming yourself?"

Natalie was distraught. "What kind of woman gets her husband back, but has another man in her heart? A part of me was disappointed that he was back because I couldn't love him the way I used to. I was in love with someone else. I...I was in love with you."

John was frozen in shock. That was the last thing that he'd expected to hear.

"I'm sorry, John," Natalie apologized. She couldn't believe that she'd just said that. "I didn't mean to..." What could she say? She's meant every word.

"Is it true?"

"What?" Natalie asked.

"Did you love me?"

"I still do," Natalie admitted. There was no denying it now.

"A couple of days ago, I told Nora that I haven't loved anyone in a long time. She said 'since Caitlin', and I realized that I wasn't even thinking about Caitlin. I was thinking about you. Evangeline wanted me to love her, but I couldn't. The whole time I was with her, I was in denial." John paused for a minute and looked into Natalie's eyes. He could see the hope in them. "The truth was that my heart belonged to someone else. I realized that I had gotten over Caitlin without even realizing it. Everytime I saw you with Chris, I wanted to grab you and run away with you. Anywhere. Because I loved you. I love you, Natalie."

Natalie shook her head in disbelief. This had to be a dream. It had to be because it was how so many of her dreams had played out. She had to hear it again to be sure. "You love me?"

"Yes. I love you--the one and only, Natalie Buchanan. I love everything about you--your blue eyes, the way they light up when you're excited, the way your hair looks in the son or at night spread out on a pillow, your lips..." John erased away all doubt of his love by leaning down and kissing her softly, but passionately. "I don't deserve you," he murmured. "I hurt you so much."

"That was in the past John. We hurt each other a lot, but that's over. That was before we know what we know now."

"I want you so much," John said even though he didn't have to say anything because his eyes had already told Natalie that much. He picked her up in his arms and kissed her again. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Slowly John knelt in the sand, gently lying Natalie on her back. Her hair was spread out on the sand. They were so close to the shoreline that every now and then, a wave would push water over the sand and through her hair.

"Here?" Natalie whispered though she wasn't protesting.

"What better place than a place we both love?" John said. He knelt over her and brushed stray strands of coppery red hair out of her face. She parted her lips, inviting him to kiss her again. He took the invitation and covered her mouth with his. John pressed his body against hers, pressing her against the sand, but careful not to put his full weight on her. She could feel his erection hard against her leg. He touched the thin material of her bikini top and looked at her as if to ask permission.

Natalie smiled. He was so polite. She lifted her upper body up a couple of inches arching her back so that he could slip his hands around her and untie the straps. John tossed the top to the side and immediately went to work on the bottom part of her outfit. He stared at her body in awe. Her creamy flesh glistened under the moonlight. Natalie reached up and touched his face. She wanted to memorize his face and how he looked at her right now--as if she were the single most beautiful person in the world. John lifted his shirt over his head and took off his pants, leaving them in a heap near her discarded garments.

Natalie's fingers left his face and traced every curve of his body. She kissed the scar he had from the bullet he'd taken years ago. John's entire body tingled where her hands and lips touched. He let out a low groan as her fingers traveled lower, caressing him. He wanted her and he wanted her now.

John conducted his own exploration of her body with his lips and tongue. His mouth lingered on her breasts, teasing her with his tongue. He could feel her heart racing with anticipation. He could feel her quiver underneath him. Natalie moaned and closed her eyes. She felt his mouth on her eyelids. No one--not even Chris, had made her feel like this before. Her entire body felt like it was on fire. His lips briefly went to her lips before he started making a trail of kisses down her neck and across her stomach. He started to move downward, but he knew that Natalie was ready to burst. She wanted him as badly as he wanted her.

John nudged her legs open with his knees, and she was overwhelmed by his love as she let him enter her and become one with her.