"Oh, Neddy," said Maude with a giggle. "I know you worship the ground I walk on, but aren't you carrying it a little too far?"

"He thinks you came down from heaven, Mrs. Flanders," said Lisa. On the floor, Ned began to kiss his wife's pumps.

"What gave you that idea, Neddy dear?" said Maude. "Sure, I died twice, but I haven't been to heaven, and I haven't seen God."

Stunned by the woman's statement, Ned slowly rose to his feet. "You…you haven't…" he stammered.

"Boys," said Maude to Rod and Todd, "your father and I would like a moment alone. Go play with cousin Bart."

"Yaaaay!" cheered the boys, hurrying out of the room.

The Simpsons stood aside as Ned and Maude strolled into the hallway, gazing seriously at each other. Ned led his wife to the arboretum, where they sat down between the hydrangea trees. A few yards away, Snowball rolled on her back and chewed on a mouthful of catnip.

"I don't know what happened to me, Ned," said Maude. "One moment I was falling to my death, the next I was on this space station."

"But…but this throws a monkey wrench in the Bible," said Flanders, shaking his head.

Maude reached around her husband's shoulders. "I know, honey. I always believed I'd go right to heaven when I died. Maybe I'm like Lazarus—he was dead for three days, and God brought him back."

"Hmm," said Ned. "I read John chapter 11 once, and I asked myself, if Lazarus died and went to heaven, why didn't he tell people what it was like after he came back to life? That was before I realized that asking questions was a sin."

"The important thing is that we're together," said Maude sweetly. "You have a wife again. The boys have a mother again."

Ned rested his hand on Maude's skirt. He leaned over, his lips approaching hers. Maude closed her eyes in ecstasy.

Then Ned backed away, shame enveloping his face.

Maude, her eyes still closed, her lips pursed, waited for the kiss that didn't come.

Ned lowered his head. "I…I have something to confess, honey."

Opening her eyes, Maude was startled by Ned's doleful expression. "Neddy…?"

"I was with a woman," said Ned without facing his wife.

Maude smiled. "A good woman, I hope."

Ned's eyes became moist.

"Was it that lovely singer, Rachel Jordan?" asked Maude. "The two of you have so much in common."

"Maude," said Ned, gazing earnestly at her, "I…was with…a woman."

Maude's eyes began to widen.

"I broke the seventh commandment," Ned admitted.

"You…you coveted your neighbor's…" Maude gasped. "Marge?"

"No, dear," said Ned. "It was Sara Sloane, the movie star."

Maude jumped to her feet, more indignant than ever. "You shagged Sara Sloane?"

"It all happened so…" Ned started to say, but his wife marched away in a huff.

TBC