Yes…I know I should be updating A Broken Soul…but this story has gotten me hooked to it! I'm sorry I really am…/bows down in apology/ anyways…you'll see why I had to update this fic so badly lol enjoy!
Warning: be warned of some…mushyness bleh…
/break blah break blah break blah break blah break blah break blah break blah/
Dear Journal:
A week has passed since my permanent transfer to Sasuke's guard. I must admit that it has been a difficult yet entertaining week. There were a few times I entered his cell and trained with him for both our purposes…just like old times. It feels right, but when I think about how he will lose his sight by the end of this week I can't help but feel guilty. After all, I was the one who captured him and sealed his cursed fate.
I sometimes wonder, journal, how different things would be if he never left. Would Sakura be alive? Would she and Sasuke end up together? Somehow the thought of the two together makes me feel sad. But I can't seem to figure out why…I mean Sasuke is entitled to have a normal life with the woman he loves. Why does it hurt though? He's my friend, and I'm glad I'm his guard, because now he's not alone, and now he won't suffer as much as before.
/Break blah break blah break blah break blah break blah break blah break blah/
Naruto yawned as he reached the cell.
"Ohayo you stupid bastard" he mumbled. Sasuke never lifted his gaze to meet Naruto's. Naruto raised an eyebrow as he opened the cell and walked towards Sasuke.
"Sasuke?" he called out as he paced a hand on Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke flinched as he was snapped back to reality.
"Naruto?" Sasuke questioned. Naruto sighed.
"I'm sorry Sasuke…" Naruto said as he kneeled before Sasuke to look straight at him.
"Why are you sorry?" asked Sasuke. He never heard Naruto apologize to him, so it felt weird in the Uchiha's mind.
"Because I couldn't bring you back all those years ago…and I couldn't stop the darkness from consuming you. And now…because of me…you're here…and…I'm sorry" Naruto said as he bowed down to show his apology in a respectable manner. After all, to Naruto Sasuke was something precious, and Naruto always held a form of respect for him, even if he didn't show it.
Sasuke looked at Naruto surprised. Naruto was wrong. He was the one who was supposed to apologize…not him. Naruto stood up, dusting his clothes. He never looked at Sasuke in the eye as he walked away.
"Naruto wait…" Sasuke called out as he stood up. Naruto stopped, but couldn't beat to turn around. If he did, his resolve and mask would completely shatter. But what happened next shocked both Naruto and Sasuke. Naruto could feel Sasuke's heartbeat on his back, his warmth reaching his heart ache as he closed his eyes. Sasuke's arm had encircled Naruto's waist, pulling the blonde closer to him.
"Don't you understand?" Sasuke asked softly.
"Understand…what?" asked Naruto shakily.
"Dobe…don't you understand that you're my ray of sun? You are my light that shined through the darkness…setting me free…you aren't the one that has to apologize…I'm the one who has to apologize. I'm sorry Naruto…for not returning with you that day…for fighting against you for a worthless cause…for hurting you and making you lose faith in me…Naruto" Sasuke whispered softly. Naruto felt it…his resolve just went to hell and his mask completely shattered. He felt a lump rise in his throat. The two remained that way for what seemed like an eternity. Naruto felt his back become humid and…wet? He didn't hear it before…but now it was clear as day…Sasuke was actually crying.
All of Sasuke's words began to sin in. /I'm his ray of Sun? Does that mean…/
"Sasuke…what is it that you feel for me?" asked Naruto softly, turning around in the embrace to see Sasuke's face. The sight of Sasuke shedding a few tears made his heart ache, and all Naruto wanted to do was make Sasuke feel better.
"Dobe" Sasuke smirked as he leaned over, covering Naruto's lips with his own. Naruto blinked a few times, and slowly his eyes started closing as he began to return Sasuke's soft kiss. Moments later the two broke apart and Naruto looked at Sasuke confused.
"I figured explaining it would be a waste of time…so maybe showing you can make you understand" Sasuke said, wiping the tears away from his face. Naruto averted his gaze slightly, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks.
"So…that means…that I'm what you want to see before you lose your sight?" Naruto asked. Sasuke nodded. Naruto smiled as he turned to look at Sasuke. He nodded as he turned around and closed the cell back, silence falling on the two, but not an uncomfortable silence, but a silence of acknowledgement of the feelings the two shared, and how those feelings were going to set them free of this nightmare in the end.
/break blah break blah break blah break blah break blah break blah break blah/
Dear Journal:
Two days ago Sasuke kissed me…I was in shock! But he told me that I was his ray of sun…Sasuke loves me…but it doesn't explain why he abandoned us…abandoned me. I'm so confused…part of me wants to throw everything away and just be near him and love him and be loved by him…but another part…my shinobi part tells me to stay away, close my heart and hate him.
I don't know what to do…in just four days he will lose his sight…I shouldn't be worrying about whether I should hate him or not…I should be worrying about the fact that he's going to die…and that its not fair how he's going to die just when we both found something to cherish…it's not fair…but maybe…maybe I can speak with the old hag to change his sentence a bit…
/break blah break blah break blah break blah break blah break blah break blah/
"But…baa-chan…don't you think it's a little harsh…" Naruto asked her. Tsunade sighed. She should've never have placed Naruto as Sasuke's guard.
"Naruto…he has a light punishment compared to the others…I won't change my decision and that's final. I will change however, his guard…for it seems you've become to emotionally attach to Uchiha…it may affect your work performance and we don't want to risk his escape" Tsunade said. Naruto glared at her.
"You don't trust me do you? You actually believe I'll go as far as setting him free for the sake of a friendship?" he asked her. Tsunade sighed yet again.
"Prove me wrong Naruto…" she said as Naruto stormed off. Naruto sighed as he walked around the town. He tried to change Sasuke's punishment and it didn't work.
"Well…I can at least make it better for him…" he thought as he saw Shikamaru. A grin plastered on his face, Naruto ran up to Shikamaru and grinned. Shikamaru sighed.
"What is it?" asked Shikamaru.
"Ano-sa…can I borrow your go board game?" asked Naruto. Shikamaru sighed again.
"I figured as much…yeah you can borrow it…but bring it back…soon…don't forget about it…last time I couldn't play for a month" Shikamaru said. Naruto laughed sheepishly.
"Heh…yeah…sorry about that…" Naruto said. Shikamaru motioned for Naruto to follow him to his home to get the game.
/Break blah break blah break blah break blah break blah break blah break blah/
Naruto hummed happily on his way to Sasuke's cell. /Today I'll beat Sasuke in Go and prove how good I am/ thought Naruto as he walked down the stairs. He stopped suddenly, listening to the conversation.
"Murderer…you killed her…I hope you rot here and go to hell" a voice said. Naruto recognized the drunken voice as Lee, Sakura's fiancé.
"Oh no…" Naruto muttered as he quickly made his way down the hall to Sasuke's cell.
"Lee...what are you doing here…this are is restricted" Naruto stated.
"I don't care! I'm going to show him not to mess with Konoha shinobi" hiccupped Lee. Naruto knew to be careful with Lee. When in his drunken state, he is capable of fighting better and faster than when he is sober.
"Lee…please leave" Naruto warned. Lee glared at Sasuke for a moment, and then walked away. Naruto sighed as he opened the cell.
"I'm sorry…he wasn't supposed to be here…" Naruto said. Sasuke was lying on the bed, shaking his head.
"Don't be…he has every right..." Sasuke said. Naruto sighed as he pushed the table to the center of the ell. Sasuke sat up and looked at Naruto confused.
"You do know how to play GO right?" asked Naruto. Sasuke scowled playfully.
"Of course I know…dobe" Sasuke said.
"Teme…I though you cared about me…why are you being mean" Naruto said, crossing his arms and fuming. Sasuke began to laugh. Just seeing Naruto pout and being angry was just too cute.
"What's so funny?" asked Naruto.
"Well, your face scrunches up when you're angry, making you look like a cute baby fox…" Sasuke commented. Naruto blushed, a soft ting on his cheeks as he put the board on the table.
"Start…" Naruto said. After a few hours of critical thinking, pieces attacking and the occasional "not fair," Sasuke managed to beat Naruto. /That was the toughest match ever/ he thought. Naruto pouted as he lost, sulking silently. An idea struck Sasuke as he smirked.
"Well…I won…you have to give me something as penalty for losing" Sasuke said. Naruto looked at him confused.
"Huh?" was his intelligent answer. Sasuke mentally sighed…there were times when Naruto was just too dense for his own good. He stood up and walked up to Naruto, pulling Naruto to his feet and kissing him once again.
"When someone loses, you have to give them something as a penalty for losing" Sasuke said as he broke free from the kiss. Naruto blinked a few times. Every time Sasuke kissed him, everything just seemed to go away, making things right for a change.
"Ahem…" a voice said as he coughed. Naruto and Sasuke quickly turned to the person behind the cell only to find Kakashi and a very angry Tsunade staring at them.
"Uh…oh…" muttered Naruto as he smiled sheepishly. Sasuke backed away from Naruto and quickly sat on the bed.
"Uzumaki Naruto…as of today you are removed from your duties as Uchiha Sasuke's guard…I told you Naruto…prove me wrong and what you did was prove me right" she said.
"Wait…what! I didn't prove you wrong? Sasuke is still here in the cell and I have no intentions of being his accomplice and aiding in his escape…he's not even planning on escaping to begin with!" shouted Naruto. Tsunade stepped into the cell, glaring viciously at Naruto.
"Emotions WILL cloud your judgment in the future…now…give me his keys because I have assigned a new guard" Tsunade said. Naruto looked at Sasuke, his eyes pained as he saw that Sasuke reverted himself into the shell, hiding his sadness.
"You can't do this baa-chan…please…reconsider" Naruto said. Tsunade crossed her arms, her face angry.
"Tsunade-baa-chan…please…don't do this to me…to him…he's going to be punished regardless….at least give him some form of comfort!" he shouted. Tsunade smacked Naruto, sending him against the wall.
"Naruto…I'm disappointed in you…I know how much this is hurting you…but to put your emotions over your duty…that is not what a shinobi is…you know that" Tsunade said.
"Hokage sama…" Sasuke said as he stood up. Naruto stood up, wiping the blood off his chin.
"Sasuke…don't worry…." Naruto said as he noticed that Sasuke was angry.
"A little punch like that isn't going to kill me…it might kill you…but not me" he said with a smirk. Sasuke looked at Naruto stupidly, but smirked at seeing Naruto's grin.
"You're too dense to know when enough is enough dobe" Sasuke said.
"You're a bastard as always…I'll take my leave then…I won't be his guard….but that doesn't mean you'll stop me baa-chan…from giving him some peace before his demise…" Naruto said, nearly growling at Tsunade as she handed Kakashi the keys and left the cell. /Interesting…two rivals turned lovers…I wonder if Jiraiya will turn this into a novel…oh I can see it now…Icha Icha Yaoi….oh I think I'll buy it before it comes out/ thought Kakashi as Tsunade left Sasuke's cell.
Sasuke sighed as he sat back down. His ray of sun was taken away from him…just how cruel were his crimes to receive such a cruel punishment? He looked at the game board and noticed a notebook there. He opened the book and smiled.
Here ya go bastard…use this while I'm not around…ja
Sasuke grabbed the pencil and began to write inside the journal.
Journal:
I told Naruto what I felt about him…and it seems he accepts me. Heck…he even kissed me back. He's my ray of sun…my hope…my life….my reason to exist, but I was so blind as to believe that revenge was my reason to exist. All my mistakes…I'm paying for them now…but it didn't matter as long as he's here by my side.
But now…the hokage as prohibited him from getting near me. How can I live my last few days without him? I'm going to lose my sight in two days…and…I won't be able to see him…see his smile…his laughter…see him say how much he cares for me…see him say he loves me…kami-sama…I know I'm asking for a miracle here….but please let me see him one more time before I lose my sight…
/Break blah break blah break blah break blah break blah break blah break blah/
Dear Journal:
I hate that hag! She has officially ruined everything for him…for us! After finally realizing what Sasuke meant…I…I…I can't leave him like this! I have to see him…even if it's just one more time. Sasuke is my life….Sasuke is the reason why I live…my resolve isn't to prove I'm not a demon…but to be there for him…
My reflection shattered today journal…the moment Sasuke uttered such words…and kissed me…yes he kissed me…he destroyed my resolve and reason to exist, and awaken the true reason as to why I must continue on…but now…
When he dies…then what of me? What will I do…what can I do? When I finally have the one thing I cherish and love the most…it's going to be taken away from me! I can't bear it anymore journal! Yes I love him! I love that stupid son of a bitch! I love that bastard who has tormented me all this time! I love that bastard who I had sworn I hated! Dammit it all to hell! Why….why now after all these years…why now…oh kami sama…please…help us…even if he is destined to die….at least let me see him before it happens…when his death arrives…I will show them the true shinobi heart…and not show any feelings whatsoever…but for now…let me dream…let me live! Let me love like I've always wanted to be loved! Dammit why can't I have love! Why can't I be loved and love someone! Just when I have it now…it's going to be taken away from me…why!
Naruto put the pen down as he closed his eyes. Two drops fell on the paper, smudging the ink a bit. Naruto fell off the bed on his knees on the ground and began to punch the ground.
"Dammit why now!" he shouted. His tears escaped his closed eyelids, flooding his cheeks and pooling on the ground below him…his tears of pain…and tears of sorrow for what was to come…
/break blah break blah break blah break blah break blah break blah break blah/
Well…that's it for now…seven pages…wow…O.O /cries/ only two reviews for my last chapter….I'm so sad…wahhh
Red Rose: Naruto is slow sometimes…but now he knows the truth…though it's kinda sad how Sasuke had to end up telling our poor blonde idiot lol and yes you have to read and wait to find out heh /hands tissue to rose/
Sylver rain: yeah…surprising how they forgot the past so quickly lol