Harry Potter and the Levitating Ch'iyun: Part One

By infinitykat

"I'm not alone, I wish I was
'Cause then I'd know I down because
I couldn't find a friend
To love me like they do right now
They do right now…

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is at all…"

John Mayer, "Something's Missing"

Chapter Four: Something's Missing

A/N: This chapter is dedicated to whoever wishes there was an over-the-counter test for loneliness.

During the first two months of school, Hermione had become keenly aware of Professor turnpike's oddness. It was no exception that Monday afternoon as the large class squeezed their way through the door to the classroom. Turnpike was at his desk, as he always was, scribbling away at decaying parchment. Today, his hands were splattered with ink and his hair more on end than usual, most likely from running his hands through it in frustration. Was Hermione being overly observant, or was their new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher doomed as was all their previous ones?

When Hermione passed his desk, she tried to sneak a peek at Turnpike's writing, but only glimpsed a few scribbled letters before he straightened up and consequentially moved his arm over the papers. Turnpike smiled at her, but his eyes knew what she was up to. Hermione offered a weak smile in return and scurried to her seat.

The day's lesson was an unusually uneventful one where Turnpike lectured them on a particularly dangerous creature. As interesting as Turnpike's rambling voice was, Harry was finding himself dozing off. His busy schedule must have been getting the better of him. No, he told himself, Do not fall asleep. You can't be shouting nonsense in the middle of lecture. As hard as he tried, Harry found himself hearing something about blood-thirsty instincts and then was completely gone.

Harry's dream started out normally enough. It was the first quidditch game of the season and Harry had somehow forgotten his Firebolt. So there he was, frantically trying to get back to the common room to fetch it, but Katie was urging him towards the pitch.

"You'll be fine," she kept saying, "Just use the spell Hermione taught you." Harry insisted that he had no idea what she was talking about, but she would have none of it. Ron clapped him on the shoulder and grinned as he kicked off to Madam Hooch's whistle. Harry stayed on the ground, trying to get Madam Hooch's attention to call a time-out. But she just circled over his head like a hawk, and he didn't know whom she was stalking; he or the team members she was supposed to be watching.

Suddenly, someone waving to him in the Gryffindor stands caught Harry's eye. It was Hermione, and even though she was yards away, Harry could see her features clearly. She looked extremely hurt and a silent tear ran down her cheek.

"Why didn't you remember?" she whispered, as if she were beside Harry. Just as suddenly as the words shivered across his cheek, she was beside him, but they were in the Death Room in the bowels of the Ministry. It was June, and the chaos of dueling spells whizzed around them. "Do something," she whispered in the same way.

Harry saw, just as before, Sirius falling back in slow motion toward that fateful curtain. Harry desperately tried to run to him, but his feet were glued to the floor.

"Do something," Hermione was saying more urgently, "Harry! Do something! Why are you just standing there? Harry!"

"I can't!" he wanted to say, "I need to…Sirius!" His godfather vanished through the curtain.

"Harry!" Hermione said again, but this time she was shaking him. "Harry, wake up!"

Harry's eyes snapped open and he sat up quickly. He was in Defense Against the Dark Arts, and everyone was frozen in packing-up positions as they stared at him. Hermione put a hand on his shoulder.

"Are you all right?" she asked quietly. Harry nodded and looked around at the others with his brows raised. Someone cleared his throat and the classroom came back to life. With a dull pain between his eyes, Harry gazed blearily at his unfinished notes.

"Did I…Did I say anything?" he said, still looking at his paper. He could hear Hermione letting out a little sigh.

"Yeah," she responded, "Just before you woke up." Harry knew he must have yelled Sirius's name out loud and would have to endure curious questions about why he had been shouting escaped convicts' names in his sleep.

"Great," Harry mumbled, and looked up indubitably to Turnpike's disapproving gaze. But he was hunched over another parchment and was scribbling like mad. Harry sighed. "I better apologize."

"Okay," Ron said; he clapped Harry on the shoulder in an eerily similar fashion to his dream self. Ron, Hermione, and a wordless Lizzy joined the crowd out the door. Harry finished stuffing his papers into his bag when the classroom was empty save Turnpike and himself. He took a deep breath, hoping his punishment didn't involve any Umbridge-like activity.

-

What am I to you? Tell me darlin' true. To me you are sea; Fast as you can be, deepest shade of blue.

A few moments later, Hermione stood in the corridor outside of Turnpike's classroom, slightly separated from the flirting Ron and Lizzy. Hermione chewed on her thumbnail, feeling entirely anxious and horrified that Harry was still having nightmares about last June and also wondering what it meant. He could just be having anxiety nightmares that included a trip back to that particularly stressful event. But, and this was what Hermione feared the most, Voldemort could be torturing Harry with a repeated reel of his darkest hour. Could this awful wizard do something like that? Hermione shivered involuntarily. She didn't know nor did she want to.

Sighing, Hermione found herself wishing that she could just take Harry into her arms and protect his mind from anything painful. His life was nothing but pain at the moment and a break from it was well deserved.

At that moment, Harry emerged from the classroom. Hermione stared at him and tried to assess her feelings. He was still the same old Harry, his hair going wherever it liked and his green eyes shimmering behind his glasses. He had grown a little over the summer, (but not as dramatically as he had before fifth year) and years of seeker training made him lean and strong. Hermione felt a prang of embarrassment when she realized Harry was right in front of her and starting to smile at the look on her face.

"What?" she asked haltingly. Harry chuckled.

"Nothing," he replied, still smiling, "Did you even hear a word I said?" Hermione blushed and shook her head. "I got off with just some extra homework."

"That's good," Hermione said quietly. "Sorry," she added, "I was just thinking about…things." Harry's smile faded.

"Don't worry about it," he said softly. Hermione shook her head and felt tears welling up in her eyes.

"I know you Harry. When you say that, I know it's something to be worried about." She definitely was crying now. Harry sighed and pulled her into a gentle embrace.

"It's all right. I'm…I'm working on it, okay?" he whispered close to her ear. Hermione took a deep breath and reluctantly pulled away. She nodded. "Good," Harry said, wiping away a tear with his thumb. "Trust me, I'll be all right." Hermione nodded again and took another deep breath, looking around for Ron and Lizzy to distract her from a surely awkward moment. But they were nowhere to be seen. She chuckled.

"Anyway," Hermione said, regaining her composure and starting to walk down the corridor, "I guess Lizzy was right about Ron." Harry sent her an incredulous look.

"About what?" he asked.

"Oh, she just predicted that Ron was going to ask her out today," Hermione said with a chuckle. Harry laughed.

"Yeah, he was pretty nervous. He asked my opinion as if I had any expertise in the department," Harry replied.

"But it was very smooth of you to slink off like that so he would get on with it," Hermione said with a smile.

"All in a day's work," he replied with a wink. "Speaking of Hogsmeade, I wanted to ask you something."

"Yeah?" Hermione replied, daring not to hope...Was this finally the moment of truth?

"Do you think we should have a recruitment meeting for Dumbledore's Army at the Three Broomsticks? I think we should spread the word now that it's a legal club."

Hermione's heart sank a bit. "Good idea," she said, trying to hide her disappointment, "I'll make some flyers."

She chided herself for being such a fool.

-

When Harry arrived for his occlumency lesson that evening, he found Lizzy pacing the length of the empty classroom.

"What's up?" he asked, looking confused. Lizzy started at the sound of his voice.

"Oh, hi. Nothing. Come sit down," she said distractedly and sat down herself. Once Harry was settled, Lizzy seemed to have come to a decision. "So…" she began, and looked at him as if wanting confirmation. "We've only worked on meditation since…our first lesson, and I think you've really got the technique down." Harry nodded.

"But something's missing. And I think we need to talk about it. I've been avoiding mentioning it since…the first lesson, but after what happened today-"

"I'm okay!" Harry interjected, "I don't need a therapy session! I can take care of myself!" Lizzy narrowed her eyes.

"So I've been wasting my time trying to help you? Because that's all I've been doing this whole time. And Dumbledore seems to think that I'm being useful. I should just-" Harry held up his hand.

"I'm sorry. I just-I'm feeling a little stressed out about all of this. Hermione, she…oh never mind," Harry mumbled. Lizzy sighed.

"That is what we should talk about," she said quietly, "And everything else that has been bothering you lately. I won't pretend that we're close friends, but telling someone your troubles will definitely help this process." Harry folded his arms and looked down. When he looked up again, Lizzy was waiting for him to say something.

"All right. But this cannot leave this room," he warned. Lizzy nodded. Harry took a deep breath and began telling Lizzy his life story, or at least all the parts that were relevant to what was troubling him. He included a great deal though, ranging from his life with the Dursleys to the Triwizard Tournament. He finished with Sirius's death, and how guilty he felt about it. By the end of his narrative, Lizzy was looking thoroughly concerned. Harry felt emotionally drained, as he always did when he had to retell painful memories. She sighed.

"Well, they say that everything happens for a reason and I think it's true. And I know," Lizzy added, when Harry opened his mouth angrily, "I know, Harry, that that doesn't justify that everything that happens is right. But you can't punish yourself for things that happened in the past. You can't go back and change those things. Well…maybe you can, but there are major repercussions. You should concern yourself with now, and just know that whatever has happened, has happened, and you were meant to do what you did." Harry looked down, utterly deflated, but relieved that Lizzy didn't act as if his story was stupid. He heard Lizzy laugh and looked up. She was smiling slightly and shaking her head.

"There's something else," she said. Harry squinted at her in confusion.

"What do you mean?" he asked tentatively. Lizzy folded her arms.

"In that whole speech, you never once mentioned any romantic problems," she said, smirking. Harry scratched his head sheepishly. Yes, he had carefully avoided mentioning his troubles with Cho. And he would die if she knew about Hermione.

"Well…oh you don't want to hear my pathetic girl problems. What, are you going to give me tips just like in Witch Weekly?" Harry said with an awkward smile. Lizzy laughed.

"Of course not. But I might know things that you don't. So go ahead, try me."

"Well, I had a…thing with this girl Cho last year…"

"Oh- Cho Chang?" Lizzy asked, and Harry nodded. "She's kind of weird. Always giving Hermione dirty looks in Ancient Runes. What happened?"

"Well, she was Cedric Diggory's girlfriend and I thought she liked me last year and wanted to hang out and stuff; but all she did around me was cry and try to get me to talk about the night…he died. I think she expected me to just know what she wanted me for, but of course I was a git and she broke it off. But I'm over it," Harry explained, and was telling the truth. His crush on Cho was long gone.

"Okay, how about now?" Lizzy said, looking amused.

"Pardon?" Harry asked, trying to look innocently confused. Lizzy rolled her eyes.

"Who do you like now? There has to be someone." Lizzy was biting back a laugh.

"I can't tell you that," he replied, turning red.

"I promise it won't leave this room," Lizzy said, "Unless…you have a crush on me!" She burst out laughing at the look on Harry's face. "I'm just kidding. I actually think I know who it is, but I want to hear you say it." Lizzy winked and Harry squirmed in his seat, looking really uncomfortable.

"You swear you won't tell anyone? I haven't even told Ron about this…" Lizzy nodded vigorously, looking very interested.

"It's…Hermione," Harry muttered. Lizzy squealed and started hopping up and down in her seat, clapping. Harry grudgingly smiled with her. "I've tried to forget it, but I can't. She's my best friend, you know? And I don't want to ruin that. Also, what if Voldemort looks in my head and finds out that she's the one that keeps me going? I don't want her to get hurt. And what if she doesn't like me back?" Harry was rambling now, his heart beating wildly in anxiety.

"I don't think you have to worry about that last one," Lizzy said, smiling. Harry felt like he hadn't heard her properly.

"What do you mean?" he asked numbly.

"Duh, Harry. Grow a brain. Hermione's completely head over heels for you." Harry's eyes widened in shock and felt excitement choke his insides.

"Really?" he asked breathlessly. Lizzy laughed and nodded. Something seemed to dawn on her and she started to look really excited.

"You should ask her to go to Hogsmeade with you this weekend!" Lizzy exclaimed, grabbing hold of Harry's wrist.

"But I can't," Harry said, causing Lizzy to grip his wrist even tighter, "What if…Voldemort…I can't…" Lizzy sighed exasperatedly and let go of his wrist.

"Oh c'mon- it wouldn't hurt…"

"Oh yes it could. I don't want to risk it. If anything happened to her…I just don't know what I'd do," Harry said miserably.

"Okay, let's make a deal," Lizzy said reasonably, "If we have intensive lessons this week and actually get around to occlumency, will you ask her?" Harry looked apprehensive, but he nodded. "Good! Now let's get to meditating. I have a lot of homework tonight."

Harry closed his eyes, hoping with all his heart that Lizzy was telling the truth. But for some reason, he felt like his date with Hermione probably wouldn't happen.

…To be continued.

Post note: Review, please! Credits:

Song quote from Norah Jones' "What Am I To You?"

I kinda stole a line from the first fan fiction I ever became obsessed with. You'd only know if you've read it or if you're the author. ;)