Title: Losing Voice (2 of ?)

Pairing: Claire/Charlie

Spoilers: Up until "Numbers".

Summary: A parallel to the episode "Numbers"

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

A/N: Sorry this took quite a while. Life has been hectic. Plus, I deleted my last version and made this new one. Oh, and, I'm still waiting (like most of you, I assume) for Claire to have her baby.

000

"Spill it, Charlie." Claire watched him with playful eyes.

"Okay," he covered the hand she had placed on his right with his left hand, "when you were missing, I, well, I…"

"Yeah?" she arched an eyebrow, leaning in.

"I sorta read your diary…" He tried to redeem himself by clarifying, "just a tiny bit."

Sliding over his forearm, Claire retrieved her hand from his grasp, "You what?"

She felt betrayed, Charlie knew. He saw the look in her eye.

"I'm so sorry, Claire. Really, I am. Curiosity got the best of me. If I could go back, I wouldn't do it again."

"What did you read?" She looked at him through her muddled golden strands of hair.

Charlie could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He stared at her blankly. What was he supposed to say?

"I love you, Claire."

Charlie tightly pressed his lips together. 'What the hell was that?' he thought. 'What's wrong with me? … I must be mad to have blurted that.'

Claire's mouth fell partly open as her heart and her brain processed his words. He'd chosen to reveal himself more than she had because he knew very well, after having read that she thought she was in love with him, that his feelings were stronger.

Charlie's eyes shined with emotion, but he didn't wait too long before saying he was sorry, standing up and turning around to leave. He was hurting. Hurting more for Claire than he was for having killed someone – even somebody as bad as Ethan. Sayid had told him not to act as if he were alone, but he felt as though he was. Painfully alone, now more than ever.

Claire wanted to stop him, to tell him to wait, but couldn't bring herself to articulate the words. What would she tell him then? That he had no reason to be sorry? Was she ready to say I love you back?
She had been dreaming of him and, funnily enough, he had apologized instead of asking the obvious: what about? Again, the question came haunting back: how much of her diary had he read?

000

Claire sat on the beach, watching the surf reel in and retreat. She leaned over her journal and started writing…

Dear Diary,

Today is my birthday. I'm not sure how important it is that I mention it since I am still on this island.
As much as we fought, I do miss my mum. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't be here so I guess that why I'm thinking of her now. I also wish I had my friends to party with.
Jack examined me today since the baby may arrive at any given moment. I'm anxious and scared at the same time; I want it to be over and done with, yet not here, not this place… Jack asked me how Charlie was doing since I seem to know him best and I didn't know what to tell him. Later, I saw Charlie leave with Sayid and Jack to find Hurley. If it wasn't for how our last conversation ended, he wouldn't have left me like that to worry about what might happen to him in the jungle…

000

It was nightfall when Claire slowly walked back to the caves, cradle under her arm. On an isolated island or not, she had been given a lovely present to commemorate her birthday. God, when she thought about it, she wished she wouldn't still be here for her next one.

She got to the place where she habitually slept and found Charlie sitting by the fire, picking at it with a stick.

She gently put the cradle down by her makeshift bed as Charlie tipped his head to the side and took a quick glance back without her noticing to confirm that it was her presence he felt.

She straightened – which took some time now because of her cumbersome belly and rubbed her tummy lovingly, even though she still wasn't too thrilled about being pregnant at this stage.

Looking at Charlie while his back was still turned, she pushed herself forward and came to sit by him.

"Hi," she smiled sheepishly, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Hey," he said almost flatly, trying hard to cover up his sorrow.

After a moment of silence, she eased into one of their typical conversations, "Where'd you go today?"

"To find Hurley and get a battery." He wouldn't tell her about his near death experience at the bridge.

"I was worried, you know." His mouth fell open – maybe he had read parts of her diary, but she really could read thoughts…

She waited for his reaction and got one almost immediately.

"You were?" Mouth agape, he locked eyes with her.

"'Course I was." She nudged him sideways with her shoulder. "You're my best friend here, aren't you?"

"Best friend…" he repeated, inaudibly. "Right. Yes," he replied carefully and Claire noticed his disappointment.

"Charlie… I like you."

He shook his head, looking away, "You don't have to say anything."

"No, really… I do. I have feelings for you… I'm just, um, scared – that's all."

He suddenly turned his gaze back on her, "You do trust me, though, right? As a friend…"

Claire nodded, trying to quell his worries, "I want for it to be more, more meaningful, but you need to give me some time."

Charlie smiled. "You can have all the time in the world," he said, looking around. Days were slow here anyways.

"Thank you. For understanding and… for everything." Loving me, protecting me …

"C'mere," he uncrossed his legs and scooted closer to her.

"What what are you doing?"

He started kneading her shoulders.

"Giving you a back rub," he said matter-of-factly. "It is your birthday, isn't it?"

"How did you – oh, right." She remembered the information she had written on the first few pages of her diary.

"Happy birthday, Claire." He massaged her back muscles. "I wasn't sure what to get you considering…"

She shook her full head of hair. "Let's put it behind us," she breathed enjoying the massage.

"Whatever you say, birthday girl," Charlie replied with a chuckle.

She laughed and brought her arm up, placing a hand behind his neck and turning towards him.

"You know what I'd like to do?" Her voice was deepening from the relaxation Charlie's touch provided her with.

"What?"

Charlie's surprised augmented exponentially when she leaned in more closely and whispered something in his ear.

A smile formed on his lips. "Right now?"

"Sure. Why not?" she giggled, "now, help me up, will you."

TBC…