Title: Losing Voice (4 of ?)

Pairing: Claire/Charlie

Spoilers: Up until "Born To Run"

Summary: Parallel to "Born To Run"

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

A/N: Journal entry in Italics.

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Chapter 4

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I thought I was going to die… that's how much it hurt to bring my son into this world. It was worth it, though. I vaguely remember what was going on at the time. Kate was giving me advice… I think I eventually stopped holding my breath, but one thing's for sure, I know Charlie was with me, not very far. I thanked Kate, Charlie and Jin so many times for all their help. I don't think I could have done it alone. Jin simply took the baby's hand and smiled - saying so much without any words, Kate said she was just glad that everything went well (she's definitely proud to have delivered a baby). Charlie, well, Charlie's always been there for me and now he's here for both of us… the baby and I.
One life ends and another begins, I guess. That's what I thought at Boone's funeral. I'm still not quite sure what happened, but, selfishly, right now, all I care about is my baby.
Turnip head! I swear, Charlie has a way of getting under my skin. He's sorta been taking care of my baby like his own. Plus, he's been looking after me closely since the birth; making me rest. And, of all things, he discovered that listening to Sawyer speak soothes the baby, keeping him from crying.
Shifting on the washed up log she was sitting on, Claire stopped writing in her journal and glanced over at her sleeping son. She should take the opportunity to rest while he's down, but she doesn't feel like she could sleep in the middle of the day and especially in this heat. It's hotter than usual today.
"Hey Claire," Charlie walked up the beach towards her, guitar in hand.
"Hi," she smiled, "what are you up to?"
With an expelled breath, tired from his journey under the harsh sun, he sat beside her on the log. "I've been playing on the rocks over there. I suddenly feel like playing again."
"That's great, Charlie."
"Yeah." He nodded. "Wanna hear what I came up with?"
"Sure."
Charlie began playing a tune, then really started to get into it and moved his head from side to side. Rockstar all the way, Claire thought, smiling, watching him.
Laughing in her hand at his expressions, Claire watched his hair being tossed around with his movements as he closed his eyes and felt the music. Strands kept falling on his forehead, in his eyes and she bit her lip, trying to fight the urge to make mention of his hair once again. 'Is this a fetish?', she wondered.
Absorbed in his creative state, Charlie kept playing, feeling his way through the beat while his eyes remained closed and Claire took the opportunity to sneak off.
When Charlie stopped playing and looked to Claire, wanting to ask what she thought, he realized she was gone.
"Claire?" He looked around, placing his guitar down as he stood and walked over to peek in the cradle. The baby was still there; she probably hadn't gone far, he figured.
His face illuminated when he saw her making her way back to him. "Claire! Where'd you go? Was my music that bad?"
Claire laughed, "No, it was fantastic. I just left to get these." Slightly blushing, she pulled out a pair of scissors from behind her back.
Charlie ran a hand through his hair. "Oh, what now?" he asked, humorously, "you're not seriously going to cut it, are you?"
"Um," she was starting to be seriously red in the cheeks, "yeah."
Charlie grinned at her ways, then shrugged and answered, "Fine. I don't mind."
He picked up his guitar and sat on the log.
While Charlie started playing again, Claire checked up on her son, making sure he wasn't too hot.
"Claire?"
"Yeah," she turned.
"Can I borrow something to write on?"
"Um, yeah." She reached into her bag and handed him a notepad and pencil.
"Thanks, babe."
Claire's heart leaped at the endearment. Cheeks flushed again because of her secret reaction to his words and she shyly tucked a strand behind her ear, hiding her face. While Charlie placed the notepad on his thigh and started writing, she silently sat astride the log and straightened a strand of his hair between her two fingers. Keeping it straight, she brought the scissors and gently started cutting his hair. Charlie closed his eyes and she noticed. She was touching his hair again, bringing back the tingly sensation up his back.
When Claire was done with one side and then the other, she made Charlie sit astride in front of her to cut his bangs.
"Look up", she ordered, lifting his chin. Charlie gazed at her for a moment before closing his eyes as locks of hair fell down his face. She gently removed a small clump of snipped hair off his cheek with two fingers, tickling him.
Charlie was left to ponder about her touch, placing a hand over his cheek, as Claire went to fetch a small pocket size mirror.
"What do you think?" she asked, holding up the mirror.
Charlie moved the mirror in Claire's hand until he could see his sideburns, then his bangs.
"Looks nice," he smiled. "You're a great hairdresser."
"Tell me when I'm done," she stepped over the log, "I've still got your nape to fix."
Charlie swung his leg over the side of the log, turning, so his back was to her. He sat up straight as Claire had requested, but quickly got bored of sitting still and picked up his guitar to play. Following the melody, he faintly bobbed his head.
After a few minutes of it, Claire got frustrated. "Okay, can you stop moving or I'm gonna cut your ear off!"
"Ah, this is good." He stopped playing to write on the notepad. "I'm writing again. Really feeling it as well." He wiped the sweat off his upper lip and asked, "So, what's the first thing you're gonna do when we get rescued?"
"You know," she hesitated, watching Charlie play, "I don't really know."
Charlie stopped playing. Pencil in his mouth, he offered, "You can hang out with me in L.A. You and turnip head." Taking the pencil out of his mouth, he added, "You know, until you figure things out."
Claire nodded, leaning forward to say 'thanks'.
"Smashing. Okay, check this out – this is track two - it's called…" Claire turned his head, "Sorry. It's called 'Monster eats the pilot.'"
Claire smiled silently, shaking her head.
TBC…