Whoever invented Valentine's Day deserved to be hung. Lily was slightly comforted by the fact that the person who did would be long since dead, but that also meant she couldn't get her hands on them to give them a good throttling.
She couldn't for the life of her figure out why she'd said she'd go out with James today, of all days. Maybe it had slipped her mind. After all, her life didn't revolve around one flipping stupid day that only hopeless romantics regarded as significance. Maybe it had been one of Sirius's suggestions, she couldn't actually remember, she'd just agree to most things he put forward.
Speaking of which, she'd received a rather lovely card from Sirius this morning, which was small, but nice. And she hadn't even got him anything, which she felt a bit guilty about, but then she could just use the excuse that she didn't want James to find out. He'd probably recognise her writing, he stalked her that much.
So here she was, stuck in Madam Puddifoot's (the most sickening place on the planet, if those cherubs didn't stop throwing petals everywhere…), and trying to keep a sweet temper so as not to annoy James. It wasn't really working that well, but James didn't seem to notice as he was enthralled by her every move. Last time she'd reached for the sugar bowl his eyes had practically popped out of his head.
She just smiled as serenely as it was possible to do so and prayed he didn't keep asking her stupid questions. She liked the silence; awkward as it was. It meant she didn't have to blabber on about stupid things like she tended to when nervous.
"So, Lily, why did you finally come on a date with me?" James asked, grinning at her like he'd achieved something amazingly difficult to achieve. "After all this time, you finally agreed…why?"
Lily would have scowled if it wouldn't have given the game away so much. Instead, she gazed out the window at the couples walking down the street, hand in hand (wishing she could be one of them with Sirius), and at the sun beating down on them. Finally, she turned to James, and sighed.
"I don't know, James. Maybe you wore me down." She said, lying through her back (and front) teeth. "Besides, it's only a date, it's not like I'm your girlfriend or anything." She said rather snidely, seeing the hurt look on James's face and biting her lip. She didn't want to hurt him like this, but she had long before realised that she'd hurt him even more if she told him about her and Sirius. She gave him a little smile. "Sorry James; I didn't mean it that way…" She tailed off, as the look on his face did not seem to be brightening in the slightest.
"What way did you mean it in, Evans?" He asked dangerously, pursing his lips and frowning. She noted that he'd reverted back to 'Evans' instead of 'Lily', which was not a good start.
"Look, just forget it, I didn't mean it in any way…" Lily replied nervously, looking anywhere but James, the floor, the window, the horrible little cherubs.
James rose from his seat, and glowered at Lily, looking incredibly menacing. Lily gulped, and opened her mouth to speak, yet couldn't find any words. Why was he getting so worked up over just one statement? It hadn't sounded that bad, had it? Normally, she would have just expected him to say something along the lines of 'No, not yet, but you will be.' So what was it?
Finally, James's voice sounded over the chilling silence. Was everyone in the flipping café looking at them? It seemed like it. Several pairs of eyes were rooted on the scene unveiling next to them. They'd probably been surprised enough when Lily finally agreed on a date with James Potter, but arguing like this? No.
"There's something going on with you, Evans. I don't know what it is, but I don't like it." He started, his eyes riveted on her, but not in a good sense this time. "And I'll be damned if I don't find out what the hell's going on with you." With that, he turned on his heel and sped out, hurling two sickles down on the table.
Lily gulped and gave a few nervous smiles at her fellow students, before leaving her own two sickles on the table and rising to leave. All eyes were on her. She felt a tear slide down her cheek. No, she must not cry. She'd just make an even bigger spectacle of herself.
Once out in the open, Lily breathed in the fresh air, and felt her lip tremble as she caught a glimpse of James storming down the street, going as fast as he could up to the castle. She needed to get there and warn Sirius, just in case James had any inkling at all about what was going on. She really didn't need this right now.
But what had she been expecting? That her actions would go unnoticed? That James would wish her and Sirius the best of luck, grinning and clapping Sirius on the back in a manly style? She didn't think so. Lily didn't think that James knew about them both, but surely he would find out now. After all, he had said he'd be 'damned if he didn't find out what the hell was going on'. A chill spread down Lily's spine at the mere thought of his menacing words. It was only now that she was beginning to feel the full extent of what she'd been doing.
Before it had just been innocent fun, something that James would not be finding out about, Sirius and her in love, seeing each other when they could.
Now, Lily doubted if she could ever see Sirius in the same way, with the threat of James sneaking about, watching her every move to try find things out. He would be like her shadow. She still loved Sirius; she still ached to see him. If she couldn't, she didn't know what she would do.
And now, Lily realised; James wielded the power in this relationship, not her or Sirius. He had the power to stop it, to let it carry on, and he could control Lily's feelings like this. They could no longer be at peace, whilst Lily had her stalker.
Something had to be done. Just what, she didn't know.
But they couldn't carry on like this.