"Potter! Weasley! Will you please focus?"

Harry and Ron were playing one of their new favorite games: Doodle in Hermione's Arithmacy book. They had taken it from her while she was spreading SPEW to the new first years, hoping to get some recruits. Oddly enough, some listened, but as they were first years, they were broke and couldn't pay the membership fee. Second year Zabini Blaise was being even more of a jerk than ever to her, making inappropriate sounds during her speech. What could you expect? He was, after all, a Slytherin. Harry and Ron faced the front.

"Now, as you are going onto sixth year, human transfiguration will become rapidly important in your studies. Many spells, jinxes, and curses tend to go awry whenever possible and will need immediate remedy. However, in order to reverse it, you must understand how it is caused. Now, Professor Snape has been kind enough to volunteer as a test subject, knowing that no harm shall befall him in my care."

McGonagall was only half right about this statement. Snape, if at all possible, looked even more livid than ever before, with a mixed look of fear and utter resentment, partially because of the fact that he was temporarily going to be a bird. Harry and Ron were desperately trying to suppress their laughter. Hermione was up front, giving them a stern look that uncannily mirrored McGonagall's. She cleared her throat.

"The wand movement should be an upward raise of the hand, while still locked onto the target. The incantation is as such: Homo avifora!"

As soon as she said this, Snape glowed, and glowered, for a moment before changing into a hideously underfed vulture. The class, which was all Gryffindors and Ravenclaws, were torn by their emotions. Half of them wanted to laugh, and the others half wanted to throw this ugly creature out a window. They just decided to laugh and applaud instead. The Snape vulture couldn't take the humiliation. It flew out a window.

"Oh dear!" McGonagall cried. Human transfiguration spells didn't last long, and the last thing she needed was an injured professor on her conscience. "Excuse me class, while I try to get your professor back. Miss Granger, Mr. Goldstein, can you watch the class for me?" She stormed out, leaving the two prefects in charge. Harry and Ron imagined some time to sit down and just relax, but Hermione and Anthony turned it into a study period. Harry and Ron used the time to further desecrate Hermione's book. That is, until Hermione figured out what was going on.

"Do you realize how much this cost me? And look here, this rune looks like a disfigured-"

"Hermione, lighten up." Ron said. "Besides, isn't there some sort of cleansing spell that you can find to make it all disappear? You did get the most OWLS I our class as I recall." Hermione sat down beside him and chuckled. "Only because I had you nearby for comparison." Ron leaned in. "Is that supposed to be an insult or a complement?"

"Oh, I think you know."

And they leaned in for what had been their wettest, sloppiest kiss this semester, and term only started last week. It's not that Harry had a crush on Hermione or anything; it's just, he was a little jealous.

Okay, he was really jealous. Ever since Ron asked her out during the summer, they did nothing but publicly display affection. She even found a spell that made pink sparks that spelled out R+H ETERNALY (they both thought 4EVER was kind of cheesy). Every time Harry saw it he wanted to gag. He was happy for them deep, deep, deep down, but with all the attention You-Know-Who's resurrection brought, people wouldn't give him a moment's peace, even more so than before. All the sudden, his bubble of depression was popped by Hermione's scream.

Everyone turned to see Hermione standing over Ron's body. His eyes were wide open and full of fear. Hermione didn't what to do, so she interpreted it by crying into Harry's arms. Anthony Goldstein, the Ravenclaw prefect stepped forward. His mother was a Muggle nurse, so he went forward.

"He seems to have a beat, but it's only once every twenty seconds. Hermione, what happened?" Hermione recovered from her crying and tried to answer, but nothing came out, which took her by shock. Her lips kept moving, but there was no sound. Anthony moved on to Harry, who explained that he had just dropped on mid kiss. They carried him up to the hospital wing, hoping, praying Madam Pomfrey had an easy, cure-all solution.

"If only there was a simple cure-all solution." Pomfrey sighed. Harry looked aghast. "You mean there's nothing you can do?" Pomfrey shot him a stern look. Harry had gotten a lot of those lately. "He seems to be in a deep state of a catatonia, sort of like a coma. The thing is his hand seems to be making odd movements. No coma allows that." It was true. His hand seemed to be in a sort of swirling movement, too specific to be a twitch. Every other part of his body was completely motionless and stiff. She promised Harry that se would try every kind of relevant potion possible, and would contact him as soon as possible. Hermione's speech impediment became an issue also, as a simple counter jinx tends to reverse a Silencing Charm, but she was still speechless, literally and metaphorically. Harry had to leave the Hospital Wing, sans two of his best friends. What was going on? No kiss had that power.