I can not decide if the walls are grey or blue. They're either a dull blue or an off shade of grey. If such a color exists of course. I have been sat in this undecided waiting room for near enough five minutes now. But it feels like five hours. Time is passing slowly and I don't know if that a bad thing or a good thing. I only hope time isn't dragging for Joey. As I glance at my watch I realise that it has still only been four minutes. I am beginning to think my watch it actually starting to go backwards.
Every thirty seconds I check my cell phone, thinking I have heard it ring. Which is complete madness given I am not allowed to have the damn thing switched on while I am in the hospital
I pace back and forth across the waiting room, driving the other patient's relatives crazy. I start to think how ironic it is that I am pacing back and forth given my name. I chuckle to myself. A small nervous chuckle. One that makes it obvious I'm nervous. No make that frightened. I am so damn scared right now of Joey coming back through the door. Part of me wants her not to come out so I don't have to hear the bad news, if there is any.
Is it selfish of me to think that way? I am after all meant to be here for her. To act as her rock and support her through this time whether the turn out is good or bad. But as terrible as it is to think that way, I can't help it. And it just boils down to the simple fact that I can not imagine my life without her in it in some capacity.
For the five hundredth time I look at the cell. It is still switched off and my watch still only says I've been here in six minutes. Jo shouldn't be too much longer but I think I have time to nip outside to check for any message.
My cell turns on and the friendly Nokia theme plays and then silence. No sms tones. I check my voice mail and nothing. I am starting to get really pissed off with my girlfriend now, and I am using that phrase in the loosest possible terms. I haven't heard from Audrey for days and I starting to think that there is no relationship to salvage from this hiatus.
I wander back in to the hospital, stopping to pick up a couple of dire vending machine coffees for us both. When I reach the waiting room I find a panicked Joey standing by the door looking like the skittish kitten she is. I rush over, placing the coffees on a near by table, and hug her. I can not apologise enough for not being there when she came out and for breaking that promise.
As she sobs gently into the brown cord of my coat, telling me about the needle test, I glance at my watch. I was gone eight minutes. How is that possible!