This is the first real chapter. As I said, pick this darn thing apart. I like constructive criticism. Even if you like the story, keep an eye open for little things I can change.
To Mockingbird: Yes, I know it's short, but hey, that was the prologue. It's not supposed to be too long. Still, I know what you mean. As for the dialogue, being on different lines, it was just a small mistake. Since I'm too lazy to edit that darn prologue anymore, I'll just make sure I take care of that in future chapters.
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. It belongs to George Lucas.
Alnor sat in his room in the Jedi Temple, meditating. He felt the force around him, could sense everything going on. There was a cheerful air in the temple, but it never seemed to soothe Alnor's constant feeling of sadness. He had never really tried to socialize with the other students. He felt that if they found out about his past, about who his family was, they would hate him. Master Skywalker was the only person who knew Alnor's secret. Alnor appreciated the way the Jedi had let him tell things at his own leisure. He never pressed for information, and he treated Alnor the same as any other student.
He still kept seeing that alleyway on the bottom level of Coruscant back when he was seven. His father, Kadan Hadas's words, saying he could have become one of the most powerful Dark Jedi, his mother, Adele, and his brother, Quinn, saying they should leave him behind, that he would be no threat, even if he was trained as a Jedi. That was almost ten years ago. Alnor was almost seventeen now. The training at the Academy had left him quite in control of himself. He displayed almost no emotion, but there was always that inward sadness, that feeling of shame, which stemmed from his origins.
Alnor sensed someone at his door, and rose to answer it. He found himself looking Kala Alynsla in the eye. The girl was a complete extrovert. It was as if she had taken it up as her mission to make Alnor loosen up slightly. Still, it meant he usually wasn't left without a partner during lightsaber practice.
"Hey, Alnor!" she said, her perpetual grin doing it's usual job of bridging the gap between her two ears.
"Oh, hello," Alnor said, sounding considerably less excited. He appreciated Kala's kindness, but sometimes she just drove him crazy.
"So, you coming to lightsaber practice now?" Kala asked.
"Well, seeing as that's what I'm supposed to be doing, and seeing as I don't want to get in trouble, yes," Alnor said, sounding more than a little sarcastic.
"Well, come on!" the girl replied.
As they walked Kala chattered away non-stop. Alnor was surprised she didn't have to stop and breathe. Alnor just sort of nodded now and then. It had been like this ever since he had arrived at the temple, after the Coruscant guards had found him, and brought him to Master Skywalker. Kala had been there for about two years before, and had quickly picked him out as someone to show around the temple. They were about the same age, and Kala had a lot of skill with the Force, even if she did tend to loose concentration when excited. She had to learn to keep a lid on her cheerful. She had improved greatly in that area, and Alnor was sure she would become a powerful Jedi one day.
When they reached the lightsaber training area, Alnor saw Master Skywalker finishing up with a group of students. The Jedi was duelling with one of the younger students. To prove that the Force could help you overcome simple problems, he had tied his dominant right hand behind his back, and was using his weaker left hand against the student. The speed at which Luke moved was incredible. His balance was perfect, and every move he made seemed to be calculated completely in a split second. Luke finished off the duel by leaping over a low swipe and zapping the student with his training lightsaber.
"You see?" Luke said to the class. "The Force can help you accomplish difficult tasks easily if you just concentrate."
Alnor decided to wait until after class to ask Master Skywalker a question that he had been wondering about for some time now. He knew that Master Skywalker was considering graduating him, and he wanted to make a request for his first mission.
"Alright," Master Skywalker said as the other students prepared for class. "You've all shown great skill with the lightsaber. We're going to up the pace a little more today. Now we'll simulate a group of Jedi being surrounded by a large number of enemies. I've programmed several remotes to attack you. You'll have to work together to avoid getting hit. Watch each other's backs, or you won't last long. If you get hit, go and sit on the sidelines until the next round. Once everyone's been hit, we'll start over."
Alnor removed the training lightsaber at his belt. Master Skywalker pressed a button and about twenty remotes hovered into the room. There were fifteen students in the class, so the students were outnumbered, but they all remembered their teachings. Numbers alone didn't guarantee success. Alnor reached out and felt the force around him. He could sense the spherical remotes taking aim. One of the hovering droids fired at him. He easily blocked the laser with a twitch of his lightsaber. The small droids hovered around firing at the students. He predicted each shot, and blocked or dodged, according to what was most efficient. For a moment, Alnor's concentration was shattered as one of the students stumbled into him. Before he could react, a laser was streaking towards him. An inch in front of his face, a blue energy blade deflected the bolt.
"You're the last person I'd have thought would lose their concentration," Kala said, taking the blade away from Alnor's face.
Alnor sensed it immediately. Swinging his lightsaber, he blocked the blaster bolt aimed between Kala's shoulders.
"Just because I let my guard down, doesn't mean you can too," he said, focusing on the lasers once more.
Slowly, Alnor noticed Luke was upping the difficulty of the remotes. The lasers were coming at a faster rate, and more and more students were getting hit. Alnor winced as one of the bolts connected with his shoulder. He went over to the sidelines to watch the remaining few students continue to block lasers
Finally, the last student was hit, and everyone crowded back into the centre again.
"Very good work," Luke said. "Level seven difficulty. Most classes have trouble getting past level five. As I said, you're very skilled with your lightsabers. Of course, that just means I expect you to do better this time. Round two!"
After class, Alnor approached Master Skywalker.
"Excuse me, Master Skywalker," he said. "I'd like to ask you something."
"Go ahead," Luke replied.
"Well, I know you've been considering raising me to Jedi status, and I'd like to make a request for my first mission," Alnor said.
"I know what your request is," Master Skywalker said. "I don't need to sense it from the force to know it's your family you want to pursue."
"Yes," Alnor said. "I want to try and turn them to the Light Side of the Force."
Luke gave Alnor a grin. "Master Yoda always told me, 'Do or do not, there is no try.' I can share your intent. After all, my father was a Dark Jedi, too, and I turned him to the Good Side of the Force in the end. I sense no anger towards your family, and you definitely have the right intentions. I think it's about time you were raised to Jedi status. Very well. Your first assignment is to find your family and turn them away from the Dark Side of the Force."