General Store: Folks, from now on Draco Malfoy will be mentioned as 'Draco' instead of 'Malfoy' as it'll cause confusion since his father (who is also a Malfoy, incidentally) comes into the story at this point.
Scene 6: The Malfoy Mansion.
Draco: Hi, Dad. What are you doing?
Lucius: Collecting nuts. Can't you see?
Draco: Nuts? I didn't know you liked nuts.
Lucius: I do not like nuts. Didn't you ever notice that I'm not too fond of you?
General Store: For the information of the audience, the previous dialogue spoken by Lucius was a joke. So laugh. Ha ha.
Lucius: Ha ha. Now can we get on with the story, General? Thank you.
Draco: clearing his throat Dad, why are you collecting nuts if you don't like them?
Lucius: For Master, of course, Draco.
Draco: You mean the Dark Lord likes eating nuts?
Lucius: Yes, and you are no one to question his likes and dislikes.
Draco: Yes, Dad. By the way, how about going down to the dig this evening?
Lucius: I'm busy this evening, Draco. I have to collect more nuts for Master and then go and give them to him tonight. Why do you want to go there, anyway?
Draco: I just wanted to know the latest news about the Stone.
Lucius: Why go there when the answer is here? takes out a pretty looking blue stone from his pocket Here, this is your stone.
Draco: Dad! You stole it. You actually stole it! If you must know, that's another visit to Azkaban for you.
Lucius: Fortunately, my visits there are always short-lived and anyway, Master needs it and you know my favorite slogan, don't you?
Draco: Snowy Owls Have Delicate Stomachs?
Lucius: No! Anything For Master. I'm going to give him the Stone when I go to his cave tonight with his nuts.
Draco: Cave?
Lucius: Master's in hiding. You don't expect him to live at the Leaky Cauldron, do you?
Draco: Where is this cave?
Lucius: Do you remember the cave we went to last summer? It's the same one.
Draco: Oh! Well then, have a nice time tonight.
Scene 7: The Burrow. Draco has just arrived through the Floo network and is emerging out of the kitchen fireplace. Ron is at the table, eating a sandwich.
Draco: Hey, Weasley. I've got some news about the Stone.
Ron: What?
Draco: Dad's got it and he's going to give it to You-Know-Who. He even told me that You-Know-Who is going to use it tonight.
Ron: Holy Hufflepuffs! We better do something fast.
Draco: Let's round up everyone and go to the detectives. They'll have some plan.
Scene 8: All the members of Mystery Inc. are standing outside the Mystery Machine. Harry and the gang approach them.
Harry: Hey, guys. Malfoy's got some news about the Stone.
Draco: Yeah. Dad's got it. He stole it for You-Know-Who and he's going to give it to him tonight.
Velma: Jinkeys! Did he tell you when the Dark Lord's going to use it?
Draco: Tonight itself.
Freddie: Then we have to hurry. Does anyone know where he's hiding?
Draco: Yeah. I know the way by heart. Follow me, everyone.
Ron: I was dreading the day when I'll have to do such a thing.
Scene 9: The whole team is standing outside a huge cave.
Draco: This is the cave he's in.
Hermione: We'll need to use our wands. Wouldn't that be counted as breaking Ministry laws for underage magic? We could be expelled, you know.
Ron: Wouldn't you rather be expelled in a somewhat peaceful world than stay at Hogwarts with You-Know-Who at power?
Hermione: I agree. Okay then. CHARGE!
They break into the cave. Death Eaters and nuts are visible every where. There are, in all, 13 Death Eaters, all wearing masks who start hexing and cursing everyone as soon as they see them.
Death Eater-1: at Harry Stupefy!
Harry ducks and the spell hits Shaggy, who collapses and becomes a heap on the floor.
Harry: at Death Eater-1 Expelliarmus! catches the Death Eater's wand and using his own wand, cures Shaggy with the Ennervate spell.
Death Eater-2: at Hermione Expelliarmus! Hermione's wand lands at his feet
Ron, Ginny and Luna: together, at Death Eater-2 Stupefy!
Death Eater-2 falls unconscious and starts bleeding from the nose and mouth. Hermione grabs her wand back.
Death Eater-3: to Draco who's standing beside a huge cabinet Well, well Young Malfoy. Looks like you've betrayed your father's trust, haven't you? In that case, he won't mind me doing this...Avada Kedavra!
Draco hides behind the cabinet and the whole cabinet is blasted to bits and Malfoy faints.
Death Eater-4: to Death Eater-3, sounding a lot like Lucius Malfoy Why did you do that? Do you know what could've happened if he didn't hide behind that ruddy cabinet full of nuts?
Death Eater-3: Just playing around, Lucius. I knew he wouldn't die. This is a G-Rated fic. General Store wouldn't permit extreme violence.
Lucius revives his son
Death Eater-4 (Lucius Malfoy): to Draco Draco, you betrayed me. You told them and now you've come to deprive Master of the Stone.
Ron: Wow, Mr. Malfoy. You're really intelligent. It's hard to believe that you're related to this son of yours.
Lucius: Yeah, whatever. Now, I'll put a stop to all your interference. Stupe--- is cut off by a number of voices
Freddie, Harry, Hermione, Daphne and Luna: together, at Lucius Stupefy!
Lucius collapses and his condition becomes worse than Death Eater-2
Ron: Thanks.
Hermione: to Draco I don't like leaving your Dad in that condition.
Draco: I don't have any problems but you can help him if you want to.
Hermione heals Lucius a bit but still leaves him unconscious
Death Eater-5: at George Expelliarmus! catches George's wand and smiles smugly
Fred: to Death Eater-5 Impedimenta!
Death Eater-5 freezes. George takes his wand back.
Fred: This is fun, Georgina. Try it.
General Store: From this point onwards, the results of the hexes, curses and jinxes will not be mentioned since the audience obviously knows it by now. If they don't, then there is a possibility that they are related to Luna Lovegood.
George: at Death Eater-6 Impedimenta!
Fred: at Death Eater-7 Impedimenta!
George: at Death Eater-8 Impedimenta!
Fred: at Death Eater-9 Impedimenta!
Death Eater-10 and Death Eater-11 act smartly by hiding behind a gargoyle to avoid freezing due to the next curses that the twins were planning to cast.
Ginny: at Death Eater-10, from behind him Expelliarmus!
Luna: at Death Eater-11, also from behind Stupefy!
Fred: at Death Eater-12 Impedimenta!
George: at Death Eater-13 Impedimenta!
Fred: at Death Eater-14 Impedimenta!
George: Hey, General Store, I thought you said that there were only 13 Death Eaters.
General Store: Yes, I did, didn't I? Sorry, Fred, that last Impedimenta of yours can't be used.
Fred: That's all right.
And so, after disarming, stunning and (in the twins' case) freezing all the Death Eaters, our heroes proceed to the Inner Cave. There is a chair facing the wall opposite them and next to this chair is a bowl full of nuts.
Voice From The Chair: Ah, Lucius! You are back with more nuts.
The chair turns around, revealing a skinny, white creature. Everyone gasps.
Ron: Dobby?
Chair-Creature: No, silly boy. I'm Lord Voldemort. General Store, I told you I look silly but no, you just have to make me look like a house-elf.
General Store: You look better than you usually look, Voldy.
Voldemort: Whatever. looks around Where's Lucius? What are you all doing here? grabs some nuts from his bowl have some nuts...
Draco: No thanks. I already have one standing next to me. points to Ron
Daphne: We are here to fight you just like Harry does at the end of every Harry Potter book. We know of your evil scheme to rule the world using the Sorcerer's Stone and we're going to stop you.
Voldemort: I thought these three points to Harry, Ron and Hermione already stopped me from doing that in their first year at Hogwarts.
Freddie: We are talking about the second Sorcerer's Stone. The one you've stolen.
Voldemort: Oh, you mean this little thing. Takes out the famous Stone from his pocket
Everyone Else: Yes.
Voldemort: This is no Sorcerer's Stone.
Harry: Don't try to fool us. Give it here.
Voldemort: By all means, take it Potter. It's useless.
Hermione: Useless? Doesn't it produce the Elixir of Life?
Voldemort: No. I told you already, it's not a Sorcerer's Stone. You shouldn't believe every silly rumour you hear about it. Its just an extra hard stone, good for breaking nuts with.
Draco: Nuts?
Voldemort: That's why I wanted it. Lucius always brings nuts that are too hard for me to break with normal stones. I heard that some Muggles had found an ancient stone. So, I thought any stone this small which could retain it's hardness all those years could easily be strong enough to break the extra-hard nuts Lucius brings. But when I tested it today, I realized I was wrong. So, you all can take it if you want to. As it is, I'm trying to get out of this craze I have for nuts. I love eating them. You might not have noticed it.
Ron: Believe me. We did notice.
Daphne: taking the Stone from Voldemort Right, then. Well, another case, successfully solved by Mystery Inc.
Freddie: Well, I don't think it was really 'solved' by Mystery Inc., you know.
Daphne: Whatever.
General Store: clearing his throat So, with that we come to the end of another --- cut off by Shaggy
Shaggy: Aren't you forgetting something?
General Store: What?
Fred: Scooby has to say his name.
General Store: Why?
Velma: He does so at the end of every Scooby Doo episode.
General Store: Okay, go ahead.
Scooby: Scooby Dooby Dooooooo
General Store: With that, we come to the end of another one of The Very Pointless and Hopefully Humorous Stories of Harry Potter. If this Very Pointless and Hopefully Humorous Stories of Harry Potter gets a good number of reviews, I might join you all again for another story. Till then, BYE...marches off