A/N: Umm. Ok… So I couldn't help it! I truly thought Chapter one would be a one shot. I also want to say that I was really, truly, overwhelmed by the response to chapter one. It was sooo stupid. But you all liked it, and Teal'c just stole the show (somehow, I just could not imagine Teal'c cowering or trying to hide in any way, its just not in his nature, hopefully, this chapter will continue to do it justice in a humorous way.) Anyway… Some of you begged for a debriefing… so here we go and a little bit more, it actually started from the opening and closing scenes, and the rest just came from the dark weird places of my mind, and we'll see if it was a good idea for me to have continued this one or if I should have just left it alone! (And sorry, no S/J for those that were hoping!)
Debriefing by iamdragonrider
Jack stared at the departing figure of the base CO, doing his best to ignore the room full of snickers and whispers, as the extra security detail filed out of the room. Finally, medics appeared, and SG-1 all but pounced on the blankets they were carrying. Well three of them did anyway.
"I am not cold." Teal'c look confused at the offer of the blanket, and completely unconcerned over his lack of clothing. The medic holding the blanket looked like he didn't know whether he wanted to pass out from shock or die from holding in his laugher. On the other hand, if he laughed, he might very well die, given the Jaffa's quicksilver moods.
Deciding quick action was needed, Jack grabbed the blanket from the medic's hands and dismissed the man before he bust a gut, then thrust the item at his teammate. "Look, Teal'c, just wrap yourself in it until we get to the locker room, OK?"
Raising an eyebrow, Teal'c reluctantly took the proffered blanket from Jack's hands and wrapped it about his waist. Jack rolled his eyes, and turned to discover Carter and Daniel had already left the room. Which likely meant Carter had probably beaten Daniel to the showers. Which in turn meant the locker room was now the female locker room.
With a sigh, Jack pulled his blanket tighter about his own body and lead the way to the door. "C'mon, infirmary."
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Sure enough, Jack and Teal'c found Daniel perched on a bed in the infirmary, his blanket tucked securely about him, and an uncustomary sour expression on his normally pleasant features.
"Couldn't run fast enough, eh Daniel?" The other man's scowl just deepened. Fortunately, any reply he might have had was saved by the arrival of Dr. Janet Fraiser.
The short redhead took in the blanket-clad group with a quirk of her lips, barely able to suppress her grin and hide her amusement. Evidently word had already reached the infirmary. SG-1 was so doomed.
"Well?" was all she said. Her arms were crossed, clipboard held against her chest, and eyebrows raised expectantly.
Shrugging nonchalantly, Jack hopped onto the next bed, while making sure his blanket kept all his important places covered. "It was hot," he said unhelpfully, ignoring the raised eyebrow from Teal'c and the withering gaze from Daniel.
Janet merely blinked disbelievingly. She didn't even lift her pen to make a notation on her chart. "Hot?" she repeated, making sure she let her tone convey how little truth she found in the statement.
"Yeah. And we all know that Teal'c is way too sexy for his shirt." And now Daniel rolled his eyes and Teal'c's eyebrow reached record heights. Jack just fiddled innocently with some of the instruments on a nearby tray, and Janet hastily removed it from his reach, shaking her head.
"Fine, if you don't want to tell me how you lost your clothes, I'll just have to read the mission report, I'm sure it will be public knowledge soon enough." With that, Janet pulled the curtain closed, signaling an end to the discussion.
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An hour later, SG-1 was assembled in the briefing room, all of them never so grateful as they were to be wearing standard olive drab military issue BDU's. They were also thankful to be away from the prying eyes of the rest of the SGC at least for a short time. They had met with more than one curious stare, bemused smirk, and muffled snort in their trip through the corridors. Unfortunately, it would probably last for days, if not longer.
For instance, there was the time SG-17 had come back, covered from head to toe in a strange green substance, with an odd glow in the dark luminescence that had taken more than one shower to wear off. Well, it had taken two weeks for the hubbub to die down. And to this day, people still affectionately referred to the team as the "Glo-worms," even though one or two of their team members had changed. Jack now idly wondered if the transfers were due to stress.
His musing was interrupted as General Hammond entered, setting a folder down on the desk and doing a poor job at concealing a smirk. It seemed even the base commander wasn't immune to a bit of ribbing at SG-1's expense. Jack buried a sigh, and noted that all of his team, except Teal'c, who was staring at the far wall as if he were Superman with laser eyes, were all doing their royal best to keep their heads down.
The General started speaking after briefly clearing his throat and taking a seat, waiting until everyone else had sat back down. "Well, SG-1, I trust the device you discovered on your latest mission is of little to no strategic importance?" Again, there was that little twitch at the corner of Hammond's lips.
Jack frowned, slouching in his seat and fiddling with his pen. "Well, that all depends on how you look at it General." He didn't meet the General's startled gaze, but knew the man was looking at him in surprise.
"How so Colonel?" By now, Carter and Daniel had also dropped their acts at trying to be invisible, and were openly staring at him, and even Teal'c had turned x-ray vision his way, as if to probe his mind.
Tossing the pen onto the table Jack straightened up and shrugged. "Well, we could always use it to embarrass our enemies. Or make them die laughing." And now he finally turned to watch the startled General's reaction, as the man struggled for control. At one point, Hammond's mouth opened, as if to reply, but he blinked and promptly closed it.
Several moments later, the General took a deep breath, wet his lips, and spoke. "Very well Colonel O'Neill, SG-1. I think I've heard enough. I expect mission reports on my desk by tomorrow afternoon. Dismissed." He stood, and the others followed suit, beating a hasty retreat, but Jack halted in his tracks at the General's next words. "Oh, and Colonel?"
"Yes sir?"
"Make sure your report includes an extra summary for me of details on just how the device might be used in our fight against the Goa'uld." Without waiting for a reply, Hammond turned on his heel and left the room.
Staring after the man, Jack realized the rest of his team was waiting for him in the doorway. Hurrying to catch up, Jack cast a look at the now closed door to the General's office. Jerking his thumb over his shoulder, Jack couldn't help but ask, "Did he just…?"
"Yes, sir," replied Carter.
Daniel pinched the bridge of his nose. "We are so screwed."
"Indeed," said Teal'c.
They were so never living this one down.
The end