Last Line of Defence

By Kyizi

Disclaimer: Stargate: SG1 and all related items do not belong to me. Only the Story and its related original ideas and characters are mine. No copyright infringement intended.

Rating: I think this one is likely to end up R rated.

Spoilers: This is set around season 4/5. I started writing it ages ago and, with everything that's been happening of late (I haven't seen season 8 yet, but seasons 6 and 7 don't work with this one), its best is stays set around then.

Distribution: Please ask, the answer will likely be yes.

Feedback: is a gift. It's nice to give.

Dedication: For Jill, who lets me torture her with fic and lets me watch her as she reads it!

Notes: Wow…I really appreciate the response to the first chapter. I'm glad you like the idea. This one is all planned, but I'm not sure it's coming across the way I want it. This chapter is also the second closest - or closest! - I've ever come to writing smut and, once again, it's SG1. I'm not sure it's the way you'd all want it to happen, but it felt right.

Please let me know what you think. This one does have more of a plot to come, but I'm dealing more with the characters in this one. The first half of this story (as a whole) is from Jack's POV, which is where we are now, and the second half will be from Sam's. I reckon there'll be about five from Jack in total before I switch to Sam, but don't quote me on that!

xxxxx

Part Two: Not Ready To Say It

xxxxx

There's something freeing about the knowledge that this is the last time I get to do anything. It's like being back in one of those time loops. I have no more consequences; I won't be here to face them. I guess it's cowardly of me to do this, to finally take that step towards her when I have to run in the opposite direction tomorrow. She's all I have left, she's everything to me and I'm not quite sure that she realises how much it hurts to know that I'll have to leave her.

I glance at her as she sits beside me, wringing her hands in her lap. She's beautiful; I can't even remember if I've ever told her that. She's so beautiful that it catches me off guard sometimes. Mostly I have to force myself to look at her as nothing more than my 2IC, despite the fact that she's everything else to me as well.

The ride to my house is in silence and, when I reach the driveway, I'm almost unsure how to break it. She's here. She's here and this time it isn't because the guys are coming round for pizza and a DVD, it isn't because she's trying to talk me out of, or into, doing something…it's because this is all we have left; a few stolen hours and nothing but the fact that I love her to stop me from falling apart.

"There's something…something else I want to do."

"Charlie," she says softly, nodding. It amazes me that some knows me so well. I never thought I'd ever have that. Sara was my wife and I loved her so much, but she and I never knew each other like that; Sara could never tell anyone what I was thinking, because she never knew; Sam would never tell anyone what I was thinking, because she'd never break my trust.

"Yeah."

The silence surrounds us again and I'm suddenly worried that she isn't here because she wants to be, but because she's giving an old friend his dying wish. I look at her and we lock eyes…and I know that's not true.

"Can I come?"

I smile a little and nod, not quite trusting my voice. I start up the car and head back out onto the road, probably going a little faster than I'm legally supposed to, but I don't really care.

By the time the graveyard is in view, the light is dimming in the world around us. My night's beginning to draw to a close and I feel closed in; I feel like I won't have enough time to say goodbye. She reaches out and takes my hand, squeezing lightly and it gives me the strength I needed. I open the door, hearing her do the same, and slowly make my way around the car.

We walk to the grave in silence, hearing the crunch of gravel underfoot. I never liked visiting his grave, simply because it was like letting go; like saying goodbye to him and that's something I've never really wanted to do. Now I have to let go and it scares the shit out of me. I feel like I'm losing him again and the only thing that's keeping me grounded is her hand in mine, anchoring me to the fact that I still have something to live for until 0600 tomorrow.

I stop in front of his grave, not quite sure what I'm supposed to do now that I'm here. Do I drop to my knees and give a heartfelt goodbye? Am I meant to cry? Because I'm not sure I'll be able to close the dam once I've opened it. Am I meant to say something meaningful? Or is it just enough to be here?

I reach out, bending slightly so that my fingertips graze the top of the stone and suddenly I'm on my knees. She's still standing beside me, holding my hand, but I feel as if I'm so far away from her. I'm standing in my garden and my son is looking at me with that grin of his and a baseball bat in his hand.

I want to say so many things to him; I want to tell him everything I wanted for his life; everything I wanted for mine. I want to tell him how much I miss him and how much I love him. I want to tell him that I'm sorry…but the words won't come. And…somehow, it doesn't matter, because I think he knows.

I don't know how long we've been here, keeping vigil by Charlie's grave, but when I finally move, my legs are tingling painfully and it's completely dark. Part of me wants to yell because I've already spent half my night with the dead when I can do that tomorrow; I'll be joining them. But I know it was something I had to do. I had to let go a little before I could live a lot. I only wish I'd realised that while I had more life to live. Maybe then I'd have more than one stolen night before I die.

Standing shakily on my legs, I find myself leaning on her. She's always there to steady me, but I think that's something that goes both ways with us. She knows she can always count on me and I know she's always there.

"Come on," she says softly. "Let's get you home."

I nod and allow her to lead me to the car, taking my seat behind the wheel with only a little argument. I want to drive, it's my last night of being in control of my life and I'm going to take every little damn thing I can get.

Wow, I wondered how long it would take before my anger reared its ugly head. I'm going to ignore it because what's the use in getting angry? Yeah, so I'm pissed off. Okay, so this wasn't exactly how I imagined going out of the world. I know it's meant to be heroic, dying for your country, but at this moment in time, I really don't give a damn. I feel cheated. I've got a beautiful woman that I love sitting right next to me and the only reason for that is because I have to walk into a death trap tomorrow. Yeah, that's fair.

"Jack…we're here."

Her voice jerks me a little and I look around, realising that we're sitting in my drive way. Even the engine is off and I have no recollection of doing that. I sigh and rub a hand through my hair, as if it'll solve all my problems.

"Come on," I say, offering her a sad smile. "Want some coffee?"

A smile plays on her lips and I get the innuendo. Well, let's be honest, she knows that's what I'm really asking her in for anyway. I laugh and shake my head. This is what I need; normality. Not that there's anything about this situation that is in any way normal.

We make our way into the house; turning on the lights, locking the door behind us, hanging up our jackets…it's all so normal. And so alien. Everything around me seems different and I'm not sure if it's because it's the last time I'll come home at night, or because she's here with me. I guess I'll never know. I'm not even sure why I care.

I walk into the kitchen and fill up the kettle, eliciting a small laugh from her. I turn to her and wiggle my eyebrows, trying to keep everything light. I plug in the kettle and pull out a couple of mugs.

"Tea or coffee?" I ask, not turning around.

In response, her hand touches my arm and I turn, not quite sure when she approached. Her eyes are pleading with me, but what they're asking me I don't know. To stay? To stop the charade? I'm not sure I can do either.

She takes the mugs from my hand and slips between me and the counter, looking up at me with those big blue eyes and I'm lost. I close the distance in record time and kiss her soundly. This is what I've wanted to do for so long and now that she's finally in my arms it's almost bittersweet.

I kiss her with everything I have, letting her know just how much I want her. It doesn't take long for me to divest her of her clothes; about as long as it takes her to get rid of mine. This isn't how I imagined it happening; fucking her against my kitchen counter, but it's more than that. Somehow this is the way it was bound to happen. I finally have her, she's finally mine and I don't think either of us were willing to wait for loving words and slow, sweet release. We can do that later, for now it's just the way it's meant to be; years of want finally being fulfilled.

Entering her is about the best feeling I've ever experienced; warm, tight, wet, and willing. She's here because she wants me as much as I want her and she's showing it with those moans and cries. I really couldn't care less if the entire street can hear her; I want them to.

With one last grunt, I'm released and she follows quickly after. Our breathing is all that can be heard and it's just perfect. She's mine. I'm hers. Tomorrow can wait, because right now I think it's time to show her and tell her exactly what she means to me. Right now, it's time to do this properly.

"I love you," she whispers and I smile.

"I know."

I might not be ready to say it, because that means goodbye…right now, I'll just have to show her.

xxxxx

End of Part Two

xxxxx

Okay, as I said, not sure if this is exactly what you were all looking for from them getting together, but it was what seemed right. Please let me know what you think and I'll try to have the next part ready soon!