[A/N: Hey there, everyone! Here is the second chapter of "Searching". Let me tell you, as I wrote this chapter, I had some "searching" of my own to do. God and I have had such a hard struggle in these past months, but I'm just beginning to patch the holes I tore in our relationship.
Hopefully this chappie won't cause any controversy out there in Christian Land. If you have any comments, suggestions, or just want to get a hold of me—feel free to drop me an email! I LOVE getting email! Again, thank you for continuing to support me in my writing efforts. ;) You are all wonderful!]
Lizzie filed silently through the library and set her messenger bag, adorned with an odd assortment of tattered patches and pins, down gently-- as not to make a sound--on a smooth hardwood table. She intended to find Ethan before school began to fill him in about their art project, knowing that if he was in school today, he could be found somewhere within large, cozy library's walls. Lizzie thought back to the time during her American History research paper when she would often come to the library before school to work on it. Ethan and she were the only people in the library before classes began, and the silence of the library before a loud, hectic day in the school's halls was a comfort to her. Lizzie would often sneak peaks out of the corner of her eye to see Ethan sitting a few tables away, forehead creased in concentration, intently studying his books.
Now she began to scan the library for his head of thick brown hair. Finally, she spotted him at a small round table in the corner of the library, poured over his books with such an intense concentration, she was afraid to disturb him. She wove her way silently through the maze of tables and chairs and stood behind Ethan.
Suddenly, her motives for walking up to Ethan changed. Carefully placing her manicured hands over Ethan's eyes, she whispered, "Guess who," in a deep, throaty voice.
Ethan's strong, tan hands gripped her small, delicate ones and caressed them for a moment. Then he pulled them away from his face and swiveled around in his chair in one quick movement.
"Lizzie," he breathed, his voice gruff and husky. He slowly rose from his chair, his eyes running hungrily over Lizzie's body, taking in every single detail, every single curve. Another swift movement and she was in his arms, kissing him passionately, over and over and over and....
"Ethan," she murmured helplessly as his mouth ran down her neck. "It's not right..."
Out of the corner of her eye, Lizzie watched the pudgy brunette librarian scramble over to their table. Lizzie braced herself for a chastising about their "little" Public Display of Affection, but instead the librarian did something unexpected. "What's not right, Lizzie? Are you okay? Lizzie?", the panicked librarian questioned her in a concerned tone. When no response came from Lizzie, the librarian gave her a violent shake.
At that, the library seemed to shatter into a million pieces, pulling the licentious Ethan away along with it. Lizzie found herself in her warm bed, Mrs. McGuire hovering over her with a worried crease drawn through her brow.
"Honey," Mrs. McGuire said in a soft voice. "What's wrong? You were rolling all over this bed with such a scared look on your face, I was worried about you. Did you have a nightmare?"
Groggily, Lizzie sat up. "I...I guess you could say that." She smiled at her mother. "Thanks for waking me out of it."
"Anytime," said Mrs. McGuire, returning the smile. She patted Lizzie's leg and left her seat at Lizzie's side. "It's what I'm here for," she called over her shoulder before exiting Lizzie's bedroom.
Lizzie swung her legs out of the bed and stumbled into the bathroom. She couldn't believe the dream she'd waken up to. Of course she'd had dreams about Ethan before, but nothing so vivid, or so... dirty. That was how Lizzie felt after having this dream—just dirty. Running a brush through her tangled mat of hair, she recalled how clear the dream was, it was almost as if it was real! She and Ethan hadn't done anything wrong, Lizzie reassured herself, raking the hairbrush through her blond tangled mess; and yet, she couldn't shake that guilty feeling that she HAD committed a major sin. Sinking to the floor, she offered up another thought to the God that everyone had said to be out there.
"Uhm... God? If you're here, I just want you to know that... that I really feel guilty about having that dream. I never wanted to have it; really, I had no control over it. So...I'm sor—"
"LIZZIE!" Matt screeched from the opposite side of the bathroom door. "YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE FOR TWENTY MINUTES! IT'S MY TURN!"
Lizzie lifted herself off the floor and yelled back for Matt to go away and give her ten more minutes. She heard Matt mumble something that sounded like an agreement and head away from the bathroom. Lizzie looked at her reflection in the mirror, sighed, and continued to tackle her hair with the brush.
------
"You did WHAT with Ethan?!" Miranda exclaimed.
A beet faced Lizzie had just finished explaining her "Ethan Dream", as she now called it, to Miranda and Gordo as the trio headed down the sidewalk to school. Usually they took the bus, but Miranda had insisted that because of the beautiful weather, they should walk to school. Lizzie agreed passionately, for Ethan rode the same bus, and there was no way she could face him just an hour after the dream she'd had! She still felt a little bit guilty, but the talk she'd had with God (If you could call it "a talk".) had calmed her down a bit.
Now she was regretting that she'd told her best friends about the dream. They'd seemed to take an immediate interest in the subject the second she brought up a dream about Ethan and the guilty feeling that went along with it, so she was forced to tell them the rest of the story.
"Miranda, I didn't do anything, except dream about him," Lizzie said, defensively.
"A dream is a wish you're heart makes..." Gordo sang in a high falsetto voice, sounding much like a Disney movie. A smirk snuck across his face, twisting the corners of his mouth into a self-satisfied grin. Miranda gave him a small shove off the sidewalk, at which Gordo exclaimed a surprised "Hey!"
"I don't know why, but I feel so... so filthy after having that dream. It's not like Ethan and I did anything BAD, but the dream was so real," Lizzie said, a confused look adorning her face.
"Lizzie," Miranda responded, searching right words to console her friend. "I'm sure plenty of girls dream of doing worse things with Ethan—like Kate. You shouldn't feel guilty; it's not like the dream was real."
"Yeah, but it might as well have been," Gordo put in, the same smirk spreading across his face. They were nearing the school building as of now. "Dreams are wild fantasies of ours. They will never EVER happen in the mere daylight, so we dream about them in our sleep to get them out of our systems."
"You know what, Gordo?" Lizzie spoke, her voice rising, pierced with hints of embarrassment and agitation. "You've been totally trashing me ever since I started talking about this dream! What is with you?"
"Did it ever occur to you that I never wanted to hear about your stupid girlish fantasies?" Gordo retorted, his voice growing to match Lizzie's.
"Then why did you act so interested?!"
"Why did you even bring it up in the first place?!"
"Because I wanted to get it off my chest," Lizzie said, her voice recoiling to a whisper. "I thought that my two best friends would help me to feel better about this terrible mood I've been having all morning." Her sad eyes met Gordo's guilty ones. "I guess I was wrong."
Casting Gordo one last hurt glance, she slung her arm over Miranda's shoulder and began to walk up the high school's circular drive, leaving Gordo alone in front of the school.
------
Lizzie had waited months for this day. Years possibly. The day she would one day have time alone with Ethan Craft, the most sought after guy in the school. Lizzie had liked Ethan since seventh grade, but now the two were juniors in high school, and things had changed a bit. Yes, Ethan was still the fun loving, cute, and warm fellow who always had a smile for Lizzie whenever he passed her in the hall, but he was different now too. He seemed, to Lizzie at least, much less stuck on himself. Although Ethan took school more seriously now then he did before, he still seemed a little empty headed. Some things just never change, Lizzie thought, with a sigh.Coming back to reality, she gazed into Ethan's warm brown eyes. Everything about this moment was just as she'd imagined it. With Miranda's help, she had managed to push the dream of Ethan onto the backburner for when she had some more time to think about it. Miranda had promised her that they would go to Amy Joy right after school to sort things out. The fact that Gordo wouldn't be there disheartened Lizzie a bit, but she quickly cast that thought aside. She was sitting right across from Ethan Craft—she needed to focus all of her attention on the subject at hand! Taking in a deep breath, Lizzie vowed to never forget this moment as long as she lived.
The way Ethan looked at Lizzie from across the table made her just want to melt. She couldn't believe she was here, in the art lab, sitting a few feet from him. It was almost as if fate had dropped Ethan right into her lap. "This is a pretty cool project, Lizzie," Ethan said, smiling warmly at her.
The project, which Mrs. Douglass had just finished explaining, was to paint a scene from a favorite book onto a giant canvas. Included in the assignment, was to prepare an oral presentation describing the painting and a reading aloud of the excerpt of the book that corresponded to the painting.
"Do you have any ideas about what book you want to do?" Ethan asked Lizzie, his kind brown eyes looking directly into hers.
"Well," Lizzie said, shifting uncomfortably in her cold, metal chair and looking down at her hands. "I-I don't know." She felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment. He was just so good looking!
Lizzie had noticed from careful observance of Ethan in the halls that, whenever Ethan held a conversation, he focused all his attention--with both body and mind--on that person. He was doing it again, acting as if they were the only two people in the room. And not in a lusty, romantic way (as in her dream), Lizzie realized, but in a friendly manner. She felt very special; no one had ever paid her this kind of attention before.
"You don't know?" Ethan asked, furrowing his brow in a concerned manner that Lizzie thought was just charming. "Haven't you read any good books recently?"
"Um," said Lizzie, trying to push away her discomfort. "I just finished The Princess Diaries, but..." She laughed nervously. "I don't really think you'd want to do that."
Ethan's eyes sparkled with amusement. "Not really," he said, grinning. At seeing that bright smile illuminate his face, Lizzie smiled too and actually began to relax.
"So, what's your favorite book?" asked Lizzie, not knowing what answer to expect.
"Well, I have a lot of favorite books," Ethan replied, scratching his head.
"Really? I didn't know you liked to read!"
"Yep!" he said, enthusiastically. "My favorite book, though, would have to be... The Bible."
Lizzie stared at Ethan for a second in disbelief. "The Bible," she repeated, shocked. He's got to be kidding, Lizzie reasoned. Only dorky, deeply religious people read The Bible. And Ethan definitely did not match that description.
Slowly, her face grew into a grin. "Good one, Ethan! You had me there for a second."
Ethan looked at her with an even stare. "Lizzie, I'm serious. The Bible really is my favorite book."
"Oh...wow, Ethan," Lizzie said. "I-I didn't mean to offend you! You just don't seem to be the type—"
"Type of what?" Ethan asked, cutting her off. "The type of person to read The Bible?" He thought for a moment, and then broke into a broad smile. "Yeah, I guess not."