Author's Note: Phew, my English assessment is finally done, I am so relieved. Well, this part 2 of my fan fiction is almost finished, I now just need to tie the 'loose end in.
Morticia Black Rose: My deepest apology for keep on spelling your name wrong, I must have a mind blank as I kept on spelling it wrong by missing the I (sorry).
October Sky: I am glad that you have more stories, I can't wait to read them as soon as I can! Thanks for the reviews, unfortunately there won't be much Sawyer-Sayid friendship in the rest of this stories, but there'll be more in Part 3. By the way, I guess it is quite unlike Jake to go off, but if he was having a really really bad day then it might be a bit possible. The kind of day that you just explode!
Disclaimer: Please see first page.
After being welcomed back, Sayid was still determined to announce his decision. Holding Minta's hand he marched to the cave where Jack was.
"Sayid!" Jack cried out in surprise, clearly taken back by the sudden arrival of the Middle Eastern man.
Kate, on the other hand, stood up to embrace the two of them.
The third of party in the cave was Charlie, he neither welcomed Sayid warmly or reacted with any feelings. He was still gazing forward vacantly. If Sayid had paid any attention, then he would have immediately recognized the man's syndrome.
"Sayid…": Jack muttered awkwardly, not wanting to face the man's calm and steady gaze. Shoving his hands in the pocket he continued. "I am sorry for…"
"Save the apology for later if you truly mean it." Sayid interrupted crisply. "I am not going to torture Ethan."
At the mentioning of the name Charlie quickly looked up, he then immediately focused his gaze on his hands. Kate made a quick shook of her head, then did a gesture of shooting.
"I killed Ethan." Charlie stated flatly, seeing through Kate's mime. "I shot him four times and no, I am not sorry at all."
Saying so Charlie stood up and left them.
"When did this happen?" Sayid demanded.
"The day after you left."
"And who talked to him? Surely someone…"
"We thought he would certainly want to be alone." Jack muttered. "Bedside, I don't know how to help him, what should I say?"
"I suppose I can't blame you, but do you want to ruin him by leaving him consumed by his action?" Sayid said bitterly. "I guess I ought to talk to him, after all I am 'experienced' in such a thing."
When night came many of them gathered around a bon fire, amongst them were Sayid and Minta, who only just returned. The rest were still having mixed feelings in regard to Sayid due to his old job but Sayid no longer mind, he understand that it was a hard choice to accept.
Beside, Minta was there. He was twisting a flower into her dark hair while half listening to Hurley and Sawyer- who were discussing something about a golf tournament tying in with a laue.
"And Minta can be our first price." Hurley suggested. "The winner can have the first dance of the laue with her. Cause dude, we all know how hard it is to tear you two apart."
"I am entering then,." Sawyer announced, he took Minta's hand but she only giggled to withdrew it and throw her two arms around Sayid's neck.
"You will enter right, Sayid?" she teased. "After all, would you really let me be torn away from you like this?"
"I will just like to mention. The first price is not allow to help in anyway!" Hurley added, swept into the cheerful spirit.
At this, the couple exchanged a look of amusement before they exploded into laughter.
"Let me tell you about what happened the last time Minta played golf." Sayid began good naturally. "You will have no idea at the damages that she can do with a club…"
(Blank)
Charlie could no longer bear to watch Sayid and Minta anymore. He had always envy them to be able to be in such a loving relationship. To make up even after all their problems. He didn't know much saved that she was in a mental breakdown due to something Sayid did in the past. The rumor was finally confirmed when Sayid's past as a torturer was discovered.
He wished he could be like that with Claire…it was clear to him that she was avoiding him after he shot Ethan. It was not as if she mourned for the man who threatened to harm her baby, but his killing made her scarred…
Moodily he sank onto the grass near the river and began to jab at the round viciously. As he did so he suddenly saw Ethan there again, he had to grab his gun and fire…and fire…
A polite cough made him swept around, he only relaxed slightly when he saw Sayid. In a way it was hard to not suspect him, the Iraqi man had lived a life that was completely different to almost everyone else's. A country ravaged by war, a life devoted to soldering. How many, Charlie suddenly thought, would he have killed?
"I hope I am not disturbing you, but my wife insists that I pick the flowers here for her." Sayid said easily.
At the mentioning of Minta Charlie loosened more, surely this man could not be that bad if he love his wife so much, and he was always so tender and gentle with her. But he had tortured Sawyer for her…
"So you see what you did in your mind every night when you try to sleep." Sayid said very calmly as he bent down to examine the flowers under the patch glowing with the moon's light. "You felt nothing when you pulled the trigger and carried on doing whatever else on your list of daily routine. But as soon as you are about to sleep, the images come."
Charlie could only nod, seeing this Sayid continued. "It is not a matter of whether you are in the right or not, that comes later, but now it is the fact that you actually killed someone. Take my advice Charlie, for I know what I am talking about. If you continue retreating then you will end up with the worse solution. You will slowly accept your action, and even completely justify it. Eventually…you'll be no worse then a killer, ready to kill again and again. Even though repent is always possible, it will be so much more harder then your other choice.
"The other path is not so easy either, as even though one day you will be able to come to terms with your self, the memory of you killing would still haunt you at odd times."
"And do these odd images come to haunt you?" Charlie asked, detecting the sad and bitter tone of the other man.
"I wish I can see images of a single occasion. "Sayid whispered hoarsely. "But I see montages of events."
"Have you killed that many?" Charlie chocked, half-afraid.
"I was assigned to the firing squad for a whole month." Sayid said quietly. "I did not talk about it or even ask for forgiveness. I justify it. This is why my road of redemption is so hard. I did too many worse things as I accepted my actions."
"What did you do?"
"I was what you call an interrogator, the word used to cover a torturer's real name. I often wonder, which of my two actions is worse? Being the hand that shot the bullets or being the one who made them pray for death?
"But I want to tell you one thing. Don't give up you hopes, redemption is possible. And if Claire really love you then she will be able to understand and forgive you. I am not saying that it will be quick or anytime soon, but if Minta could forgive me after all the crimes that I committed, which is worse then what you did a few days ago, then so can Claire."