There and Back, chapter 4
A strange jumble of emotions settled over the camp: joy at knowing Michael and Sawyer were alive and virtually unharmed; fear for Jin's fate, the likely answer too painful to verbalize; horror at Walt's kidnapping; shock to learn of other survivors of flight 815; excitement to meet Dave and Ana, if only because they were new faces, ones that didn't threaten impending doom; bleak acceptance that the raft hadn't worked and the chance of rescue even slimmer than before.
What hit everyone hardest was that instead of salvation, the raft had brought only more loss. Even Sayid, who had, in the beginning, questioned the wisdom of building it, had found hope in the raft. He withdrew, even from Shannon, and concentrated on what he knew best: working on the transceiver, trying to find some reason to hope again.
Sayid sat at his desk, tinkering with the transceiver, eyes focused deliberately at his task.
Ana made her way to him, eyes lighting up. "Is that the transceiver?"
Sayid nodded, "Ana-Lucia, right?"
"You can call me Ana. And you are?"
"Sayid." he replied, extending his hand.
Shaking his hand then sitting across from him, Ana smiled, "I'm an engineer. Well, back in the real world."
Sayid looked up at her, interest piqued. "Do you know anything about transceivers?"
"Not really. But I built my first radio when I was only thirteen. I have a passion for taking things apart and putting them back together."
"Do you now?"
"Ever since I got my first erector set for Christmas. Santa was good that year."
Sayid laughed and set the transceiver in front of her: "Maybe you can figure out what I cannot."
For the third day in a row, Shannon was bored. Changing into her bikini she stretched out on her back to work on her tan.
"Hey Sticks!" Sawyer called. "Aren't you ever going to welcome me back?"
Shannon ignored him.
Persistent, he approached, nudging her leg with his foot: "Hey, I'm talking to you, sweetness."
"You're in my sun"
Sawyer suppressed a chuckle. "Guess I should be the one welcoming you back, Sticks. I was afraid you'd gone soft now that you and Aladdin were back together."
Shannon glared at him, "Go away, Sawyer."
Not one to take orders, Sawyer went on. "Now what on earth could be bothering the princess? Hmmm...I wonder." Chuckling a little, he added, "Ana's mighty pretty, doncha think?"
Shannon turned onto her stomach and closed her eyes. "Go away, Sawyer" she muttered again. "Just go away."
Laughing outright, Sawyer headed off to the caves.
Alone again, Shannon stretched as the sun beat down on her. Sunbathing and bitching were like comfort food. No need to help with the signal fire anymore. Sayid had Ana-Lucia now. She was always with him. Hell, anytime Shannon approached Sayid's tent, she felt like she was interrupting some great joke between the two of them.
She tried not to let it bother her. Late at night, Sayid still held her. But he didn't talk to her anymore, not really. Shannon had never felt so alone as she did, wrapped in Sayid's arms while everyone else slept.
She didn't even have Vincent to talk to anymore. Michael, Locke, and Steve had taken him with them two days ago, saying the dog would be very helpful in finding where the others had taken Walt. Shannon had no choice but to let them take Vincent, but she missed him. He was a sweet dog. Reminded her of the golden retriever she'd had as a child.
Shannon untied the straps to her bikini top and turned her head to face the other way. She could see Ana and Sayid off to the side, laughing together, heads practically touching. Trying to quell the ache in her stomach, Shannon turned her head to face the other way again. Tears stung her cheek as she willed herself to go to sleep. To try to ease the pain with dreams, hopefully ones of better days.
When Shannon woke, it was dark. She lay there, alone, sadder than when she drifted off. The dreams hadn't helped; visions had passed through her mind, visions of Boone, her stepmother, various boyfriends, all laughing and taunting her, telling her she was useless. Gathering her things together she headed to her shelter. Sayid wasn't there, and she didn't see him anywhere. Shannon Rutherford was all alone.